5 Aug 2008

Here are 2 poems i got from a friend comparing the stay-home mom with the career mom. i added some bits to it as i felt the poems were unevenly stacked against the stay-home mom. Tell me what you think!

The stay-home Mum :
“I bumped into her at the supermart today
Smartly dressed in a grey suit by Dolce
Her name card said “Regional Director of Sales”;
I couldn’t stop staring at her immaculate nails.

She lamented that her work-hours were inhumane;
Promotion was the bonus; overtime the bane.
Somehow I sensed she wasn’t really complaining
In fact, I felt it was back-handed boasting!

She said she hoped for a posting to Hong Kong
Didn’t matter if husband or children wouldn’t go along.
I bit my tongue to refrain from the question
‘Is your family not at all important?’

We exchanged goodbyes and promised to meet up
Made mental note to Self – ‘Must put on makeup!’
For a while I wondered how it would’ve been like
If I’d too stayed at my job, slogging day and night.

I consoled myself I was the better mother
Why, I cook, bake, sew, clean and even tutor!
My children aren’t brought up by maids – Thank God for that!
But giving up my career – would I one day regret?”

And then I remember all the moments I’ve had
No one can pay me or concoct the brew--
When baby first turned over, walked and said ‘mama’
The many soul moments we connected and I knew I got through

I well too recall the things I do
I did not think I would or could -
Through all kinds of moods
The cleaning the planning the giving the loving
How I’ve grown up -
Beyond the economy

The Super Career Mum:
“I almost couldn’t recognize her today, you know
Good heavens, she really has let herself go!
The clothes she was wearing have seen better days
I swear she wore them when disco was the craze.

Her children were with her – the youngest was a tod
All four of them looked alike – peas in a pod!
For children nourished by mother’s constant presence
Their conduct and stature didn’t suggest excellence.

We could hardly talk, with all the din they caused
They kept doing things that made their mother cross
I said to Myself: I’m glad for my sanity
Not being at home is more than just vanity.

She once was rather bright, this homemaker mate,
It’s a pity she chose to let herself stagnate.
My life is more than just about my family;
At least I know where my abilities can take me.

That encounter confirmed what I’ve always said:
‘Staying home has no value if there’s no value-add.’
I’d much rather work – that’s what I excel in
Let my maid and tutors earn their keep and living!”

Or perhaps the system is all wrong
We have placed values where we can only be strong
But fear and weakness are good things in life
They drive us to seek, to find and to thrive

All of this life deserves some more thought
I need a vacation
Good thing - I can afford
I’ll sit and think through my options again
When I am near sixty what would I have gained?

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