18 Oct 2013

Sisters all, we need the 3 S's !

My own journey to my feminine self, speaking to many and walking with individuals over the last decade – deepened my conviction that we need 3 S’s; each one of us.

But these 3 S’s cannot be bought or earned. Instead, they become ours when we are able to receive. And this-is-hard for most of us.

We are natural care-givers, community builders, romantics at heart. We bring beauty, colour and energy to homes, relationships, tasks.  But precisely so, we often find it hard to receive. After all, who gives? Everyone takes.

Plus if we scrub harder; we find that all our giving is a seeking – we want attention, approval, affection, affirmation.

She’s so thoughtful
What a gorgeous dress
 So gifted
How do you do it?

We want the 3 S/s: self-worth, security, significance.

Self-worth is of course now a famous make-up tagline: because you’re worth it! But they get it wrong. A hundred dollar bill will not cease to be worth a hundred dollar even if it got wet, wrinkled and lightly torn. This is the nature of worth. But we live in presentation culture. Recently, the world found its largest gem. It was discovered by a little African girl. The gem however is not hers though she found it. L' Incomparable the diamond  is now worth a whopping 55mil -- because of the process of clarity it underwent and the bejeweling to set it for presentation + all the marketing it generated. I wonder if anyone rewarded that little girl anything decent. In our market culture then, even if we are worth anything, we must showcase this worth with skincare and make up.

A short line from a Taiwanese drama I saw as a little girl has somehow stayed with me. In it two girlfriends were talking – about men. One of them was explaining her choice of man: “he can give me security” (he was the richer option).  But can he, truly? Security is elusive as long as we are counting on fallible humans to supply us with it.  People change, economies crash, love turns cold.

Some 980 million women and children live below the poverty line. Their dreams are basic. If they want to be noticed; it’s because they don’t want to miss any handouts. But for many of us who never ever really worry about staying alive; we who have clambered up Maslow’s pyramid; we crave the attention that will proclaim, “she’s really something!”.


We simply cannot live without them. So we will find them – somehow.
Unless ~
There is a way that they come to us – as whispers from beyond, gifts that turn up at our door....
The birthday surprise {I am worth celebrating}
The words that reassure {I am supported and defended}
The way we fight for our children {I make a difference}

Life offers us moments when we can choose to believe afresh that we have worth, are secure and have significance. But life also throws us all about and all of it can become gnarled and shredded.

So I dig deeper and track further to find a more steady spring of wellness… to that ~

“spring of living water, the cistern that holds water”  
Jeremiah 2v13

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