Lost, setback, and feeling your faith is small?

Lost.

Listen, when you live in a lost world, it is natural to sometimes feel the lost-ness.

The directional signs are all over the place. Fat is bad, fat is good. Go here, no, there! Do this – now! Save up for retirement. The trend is graphics, the trend is finance, the trend is start-ups.

Our ability to choose is sabotaged by the profusion of available choices.

And then, we stumble. Things go awry. Relationships hit a wall. Promises are forgotten, our hearts break.

Set.back. 

Sounds like all our steps led to nowhere. Sometimes it can even feel like after all the effort, conviction, and sacrifice; we regressed! After all, we are getting older and someone told us we were meant to move forward, to go from  ‘strength to strength’. Aw God, this is so darn disappointing!

Maybe I heard wrong. Maybe I did wrong. Maybe, my faith is too small. No, a small faith like a mustard seed moves mountains. Where is my faith if I am walking into mountains?

Go on and say it: I am disappointed. I am sad. I am mad. I am giving up.

It’s okay. These feelings happen: lost and setback, unsure, frightened, feeling vulnerable, wanting to let it all go, angry, resentful…

You are not being held by your feelings anyway. Not even by your faith. {I shall talk about where that comes in later}. You are being held by Love. Love is unafraid of your feelings. Love sees them, absorbs them, bears them.

Blessed be the Lord,
    who daily bears us up;
    God is our salvation.  Selah ~ Psalm 68v19

The fruit of pain is often cynicism. It is also the fruit of years. Growing older can make us more cynical as we encounter more of life and people.

\ˈsi-nə-ˌsi-zəm\

: cynical beliefs : beliefs that people are generally selfish and dishonest

So, just in case, we will not lay all our cards on the table. Just in case, I will withhold myself. Just in case, I will self-protect first.

The problem is, we were designed by God to be free, safe, and fully engaged. Life is an immersive experience. You find it and live it as you dive in. Holding back lets you see the water but not feel its power. To dive in, one will have to trust that the water will hold you up when you relax and let it. But we thrash about so!

God’s answer to this is so simple, we often miss it.

G-r-a-t-i-t-u-d-e.

Being grateful is a posture of dependence.

Being grateful is an exercise in defiance.

Being grateful is engaging with the Unseen and announcing its triumph over what we see.

Being grateful is laying down a traceable trail in this world of crisscrossed pathways.

It is hanging on to what little faith because that little faith is hanging on to a Great God who is holding on to you, with no intention of ever letting go.

Such that, we can,

give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. ~ 1 Thess 5v17

God’s will is that we remain thankful because this is how we remain faithful.

Your feelings are real, but they are not truth. Tell them to Him who is all Grace and Truth. He will hold you, steady you, and as you pour your heart out, and begin to write down your thanks, He works things out – and we can see the good without straining.