Transforming Grace

You know what I find disturbing about us Christians?

We have a holier-than-thou attitude.

interesting title no?

I would not have said this ten years ago. But a lot has happened in ten years, the most important being this: I have seen the darkness in my soul. Yes, I have come to the place where I understand that when Paul called himself the chief of sinners, it wasn't hyperbole. We all rank first place when it comes to harbouring demons in the dark alleys of our souls.

Yelling at kids?
Thinking of divorce?
Entertaining hurtful thoughts?
Fantasizing?
Blaming?
Ego trips?
Seized by discontent?
Poor stewardship?
Lack of love?
What if i try out...?

Been there, been that.

This reckoning has in turn done two things. One, I am much less shocked by confessions. Second, I have begun to strip away at the notion of 'the other'. I identify with others more than I differentiate from them.

Thomas Cole, Voyage of life

If you have ever met a personal darkness, sensed a shadow, wrestled with a demon, chances are you want to either reach for HyperGrace - it's no big deal, or we collapse into UnderGrace - we are wrecked with guilt and try our best to cover it all up.

I use these monikers to represent the two common ways we respond to glimpses of what lurks beneath our respectable, put-together selves. In HyperGrace, we may -

. brush it off as not really so serious compared with...
. create a spiritual scorecard by pumping up more rigour for spiritual activities (from dancing to Bible studies).

On the other end, some of us veer towards UnderGrace where we -

. smile and act nice, totally inconsistent with what's tugging at our hearts
. blame others or beat up ourselves for not measuring up
. endlessly analyse what went wrong

This happens to the individual, and even to groups and entire churches.

The problem is that both of these take us away from Transforming Grace, which the Bible says is given to the 'humble'.

You younger men, likewise, be subject to your elders; and all of you, clothe  with humility toward one another, for God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety upon Him, because he cares for you. ~ 1 Peter 5v5-7

Peter wrote this. I dare say no one knows about Grace and humility the way Peter does.

He was the blustering disciple who boasted of his loyalty only to find it crumble when faced with the threat of persecution. He is the one Jesus re-creates a memory of his calling {read this John 21} so that he could be restored. He tasted Grace that morning when his professional fishing efforts yielded no gains. He tasted Grace in the fish on live coals and the poignant words of restoration Jesus spoke into the depths of his being.

He humbled himself in admission of his shadows and failures and was reunited with His Lord in love and mission. Still, he would have moments of weakness, but those are moments and not definitions.


Being humble is connected with casting our anxieties on God. 

We are anxious whenever we don't know the outcomes to things or when we anticipate a negative result. But Peter, he has learnt that. All his bravado cannot gainsay the truth that he has limits and he cannot really fix some things, even if he can swing a sword the way he can throw a net.

Transforming Grace - that flows downward to the bowed and receptive heart - happens when we humbly agree with God that we don't have the answer but we know God does.


I love Danielle Strickland's* definition of humility: agreeing with God about who you are.

Mind you, God does not think small of us. No, he thinks wonderful thoughts beyond our wildest dreams. Yet, he remembers and knows we are dust. We are finite. We do well to remember that of ourselves and others. That's when Grace happens. Peter tells us that God's intent is to exalt us. God knows we cannot reach the heights of who we truly are unless He raises us up.


The verses has another dimension:

You younger men, likewise, be subject to your elders; and all of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, for God is opposed to the proud, but gives grace to the humble. Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God, that He may exalt you at the proper time, casting all your anxiety upon Him, because he cares for you.  

I admit that this is the bit most of us don't really like. After all, whether it's our families or work or churches, we all know elders and leaders who we struggle to respect and follow. But here, Peter reminds us that there is the basic posture of being submissive that counts if we want to experience Grace. To be fair, he speaks here of an environment where there is the effort to honour one another.

Being humble creates a flow of God's Grace into our lives and situations.

We will meet, experience and share Grace when we are willing to kneel with the broken, sobbing alongside, hurting with them, remembering this could just as well be us. This is when Grace creates community.

We will know, be touched and grow in Grace is when we are willing to face our need for it in an authentic and vulnerable fashion. This is when Grace creates courage.

We will stand upon and lead stronger out of Grace when we will call out our tendency to hide, gloss over and conceal. This is when Grace creates maturity. 


These three are good indicators of the present workings of Grace in our lives: community, courage and maturity.

To have reckless self disclosure without regard for others lacks maturity.
To have endless discussions without actions shows a lack of courage.
To be part of unending gatherings where our deepest concerns are never shared or heard means there isn't real community.



Perhaps try this: you may well notice that from the American elections, to ISIS, to the latest local news about things gone wrong, our standard way is to point out what's wrong, in clear denial that we could go so wrong ourselves (and it's a miracle we didn't). This stance has rarely helped us get anything right in the end.


It is a peculiar thing. The knowledge that we are saved by Grace and sustained and sanctified by Grace's operations in our lives should be grateful, joyful and humble. Yet so often, we the chosen, the elect, the faithful - saved by Grace - have a way of turning Pharisaical.

We start to distance ourselves from 'the others' and become a holy huddle of sorts.
We have our share of doing good and pitching in to improve things, but in our hearts there is a line that says 'we' and 'them'.
We go on a religious treadmill seeking out new and amazing ways for spiritual experiences.
We complicate matters. The Pharisees churned out 613 checklist items to keep the law....how many have we generated while regularly refusing to encourage the formation of lives through basic disciplines of prayer and Scripture and a commitment to community?

Nicodemus was a Pharisee. But he was different. He was at least humble enough to seek out Jesus and considered fresh possibilities. On the other hand, we have the thief that hung next to Jesus. His was not the robe of religiosity but the rags of crime. But he too experienced Grace when he humbled himself to admit that he deserved his sentence.

Go down with a name like Nicodemus or go down without a name like that lowly once-thief. Just be known by God and be touched by His transforming Grace.


Some of my best record of Grace's tracks:
Grace in the story of the woman in John 8. She got it, they didn't
Take that small step, Grace is coming
The wide mercies of God's cradling Grace
Failure isn't final. Grace is.
I married a non-believer, is God mad at me?
How do you see your life?


references:

1. If you want to know the 613 laws

*as heard on Global Leadership Summit 2016

Why doesn't God rescue us?

She sounded urgent. When she finally arrived in my dorm room, her face told me she was troubled. Then she told me that she was nearly date raped. He was a Christian guy she had met on campus. She was a very young believer herself and thought it was only right to go out with a fellow Christian. Through teary eyes, she asked me, "Why didn't God stop it? Why didn't He rescue me?".

I had no answer for her. She was the star student, extremely beautiful and of a gentle, quiet disposition. She would never have baited him. I hardly knew the guy and my thoughts turned towards vitriol for him.

Why would a good God let a nice girl like her end up with a trauma like this? She certainly didn't deserve it. I had no answer.

This was nearly thirty years ago.

But daily as we are bombarded by tough stuff, witness outrageous evil, see senseless violence, hear and read of the sacrifice of children to neglect, greed, injustice and oppression; we are all hoping, and wondering why God doesn't act to stop any of it.

Chernobyl, taken off Telegraph.co.uk

Just last month, I came to know of this prominent Christian businessman and leader's teen daughter who was gang raped when their home was burglared. Even as an adult, married with children, she tears up as she shares about it.

There are some things we will never forget.


To be sure, it could become her story - the girl who was raped. But her story was larger than that. It could become the headline that would hog and overshadow everything else about her; she could go through life forever broken, limping, and aching over it - fearful of men, dreading her future, hiding from God, herself and others. But it didn't.

Thankfully, it didn't for my girlfriend too. She too married and has a beautiful daughter.

Perhaps, God did rescue them.


I remember once when I was in anguish over some losses in my life. I heard God say to me that I had to walk through it. Then I saw this picture of a helicopter lowering a ladder to rescue someone from the top of a roof as a fierce deluge raged on all around. God contrasted it for me: I felt I was drowning and I desperately wanted to be airlifted out of my situation. But God said to go through it. I cried some more....until I realised that God was saying also that it will not last forever. I just needed to be brave, to soldier on; not avoid or wish it away. And then these familiar words:

"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil. For You are with me, your rod and your staff, they comfort me." ~ Psalm 23

Strength and courage comes when we stop fleeing and turn to face what's before us.

There is such a thing called The . Necessary . Journey. It is the months or years we must endure in order to grow up:

1. we become aware of how naive we are

Just to assume that a person has the label "christian", "leader", "popular" means they are desirable, suitable or safe is plain naive. Persons are complex. We have to take time to know them.
Equally we can be naive about ourselves. Some of us will refuse to admit to our weaknesses and demons properly. We say it lightly and glibly and allow it to lurk around. They will take us down; we must be brave to face it. We must admit to how much we fear peer pressure, desire attention, compromise our ethics or values. Without a true admission and a devotion to go the other way, we may set ourselves up for a weak faith and life.

Truth and authenticity happens when we accept who we are and admit that we need to grow.

2. we see the world with clearer eyes

When I first read Hobbes' take that life is "brutish and short" I recoiled at it. But time has proven that philosopher quite right. Our brightest and best moments are fleeting. Some opportunities won't knock twice. We are incapable of making perfect decisions. Others have their own reasons, hurts and distortions though which they view life.
Equally, life shimmers with a strange light as each new day dawns. Often, our worst nightmares don't materialize. Strangers show us kindness. Hobbes got it half right then. There is Grace, there are miracles, there will be surprises.

Hope and Persistence grows within us when we realize that we can stand on Grace.

3. we make the defining choice of what to base our lives on
Everything can turn in so many ways. Change is always possible. A new trajectory or the old one with a wholly different outlook. We can choose trust, faith, rising up again. Or we can run, hide, cower, blame. We can be honest, brave, real or fake it.
We can turn to God and depend on Him or continue to try to make it on our own. The direction, colour, texture, and message of our lives emerges out of this most critical of all decisions.

Meaning and Purpose, Security and Generosity develops and impacts others as we continually renew our trust in God.


I still ask God sometimes, "just do something!".
And sometimes He asks me back, "what would you like to do about it?".

God still asks the best questions.

What kind of Brave?

A brave review

You've probably seen the movie. 

The plot is simple, straightforward and plain, the fun light and predictable. A princess is asked by her mom to marry in order to secure the kingdom but the gal won't and things get bad and messy....

Over our post-movie meal, we asked why they called it 'brave'? (harking back to another hit also set in Scotland, Braveheart perhaps?).

Well, I thought the different characters give us different Flavours of brave. The triplets are the brave young uns whose courage lies in their childhood which is still devoid of any real threats ands upsets. A reckless bravery. Father Fergus is the typical 'bring them on' brave with mostly brawn. Mom's courage lies in her steely determination to steer her progeny especially her firstborn towards her  kingly heritage while Merida's form is to throw caution to the wind, live with abandon and courageously mine the giddiest experiences-very teenage.

Their brave-flavours and the beliefs that underlie them clash and slash the precious bond. There is courage that reeks of pride and is in the end self-motivated and little less.

The climatic turn is the opportuity to discover and pursue true courage: admitting one's selfishness, riding helter-skelter in the rain, working, and holding on to the hope of a redeemed future.
This is the final scene where Merida sews the torn tapestry, galloping madly against time and rain...crying for a chance to fight and make it all right once again.
What are we willing to fight for? What kind of brave are we?