Showing posts with label kids. Show all posts
Showing posts with label kids. Show all posts

2 Aug 2011

O kids!

Anger's seedbed
i don't really know where all the anger came from - i who author a book about happy kids, no less! But since he was able to toddle, it became clear i had an angry child in my home. He stomps on the bug without compunction.  He swipes at the carer, he throws stuff..then come the fists, the words and those moments when he literally runs away!
Yes it does get tired and it's not easy not to dish out anger in reaction.
But hey, i'm the adult. Being angry is not a bad thing coz there are lots of things to be angry about in our world - and it may well take some really angry persons to set them right. i see justice-advocate imprinted on his little developing soul.
The seeds that carry a harvest of anger include: feeling powerless (if you have a smarty-pants older sister!), sensing ongoing frustration (how come i dont get to make the rules?), and sadness.
So i had to learn how to help him
1. recognise the different seeds
2. find the right way to plant them (express) or discard them
3. develop a problem-solving mindset rather than a victim mentality.

we have used
-colour coding at age 3 to describe levels of anger
- verbal expressions at age 3
-empathy at age 4
- self-control at age 4
- focus on the good at age 4
- scenario assessment & problem solving at age 5

The other day, after an outburst, he said "mom, i felt like half my heart fell to the ground..."
So i say, "how do we pick it up and put it back? wo can help?"
..."if we ...would someone else's heart fall to the ground..."

He got expression, empathy and problem solving..until the next day!

So far? Lots of friction and some traction. We made good distance but it's gonna be a marathon for sure.

27 Jul 2011

my latest book!

This is how the new book looks like. available at all bookstores and from Amazon. Spread the message of hope!

31 Jan 2008

kid talk

I dont brag about it but i am immensely proud of my two year old's growing voabulary. of course, most words come out rather weakly enunciated - but hey, the guys' only TWO!
He just got up from his nap and snapped out of his drpwsy stupor when he heard the whirr of blades! His favourite guys around the neighbourhood are near....those noisy grass-cutters. if he was wearing a kilt he would have hitched them as he scurried tot he window, saying 'hurry, hurry'..
wait a minute. i taught my son 'hurry'? o dear...here am i, convinced life is going by too fast, making deliberate efforts to slow down -- and my son is saying 'hurry!!!'. Hm.
i hope life values transcend vocabulary.

speaking of kids, a young lady was visiting with me and since she is involved in sociological research, i eagerly asked if she knew what contributed to the fact that young children and even infants in Singapore go to bed at hours that defy logic. i have actually seen less than year-old children being carried home, wide-eye at 11pm, probably after the day at grand's or nanny's !
My question is: we are subjecting our kids to our work schedule. In Singapore work comes first really....