To Really Live when life is hazy

That haze we all hate is such an apt metaphor for our times.

It's in the air.
It affects visibility. We all want to see clearly.

It gets in our air.
It affects air quality. We all want to breathe easy.

It gets on our nerves.
It reminds us that others may not care about what matters to us; may be unfair or even barbaric (to us) - and vice versa, really. We all want respect, fairness, and the power to get our due.


Life is hazy. We don't always see properly, our breaths are quick and shallow as we rush from one thing to another; and we bump into situations and people we wish we did not!

Our faith, purpose in life, motivations can all be hazy too.



This blog site is called To Really Live. I don't even remember when i started it! But it is my personal quest. I have one life and I want to really - live - it. I don't want to merely exist. I don't want to skirt around the edges or float like a phantasm.

Being around for nearly half a century, I feel that we have made life less clear and more cluttered. The voices, views and vistas are so many, we are left wondering, longing, and lost.

How does one..... Really . Live?  To have hearts that are not troubled or afraid?


We need to know what we Live For. 

There is a forward pull to life. We need a sense of direction, some goals, a telos of final destination. Heaven perhaps. Or God Himself? It's useful to seek, establish and recall what we live for. Or we shall can be easily troubled when we compare ourselves with others and then, afraid that we are losing out or worse, just plain lost!

We need to know that we Live From.

Many of us try to live away from. Some live away from their homes, their parents, their hearts. We are trained and enticed to look at all that shines and glitter and shun our lives; especially the bits we cannot finish gnawing off, that never quite get digested: regrets, hurts, pains, shame losses.

But to live well we need substance. The very life we have is the substance from which we are to find compost for fresh shoots.

Our hearts are often troubled and afraid when the past creeps up. Though not all of our past can be understood or explained; we can find peace when we embrace it. Peace comes not in the absence of trouble; but in the midst of it.

We need to know how to Live In.

If we deny our past, we are likely to fail to engage our present. Life is a series of days and an outworking of choices. Beneath it all is the hum of our emotions.

Yet the most amazing thing about life is The Present Moment. Each present moment has the potential to change the trajectory of our lives. What if God had primed us for this moment? What if God has provided someone or something right now, right here, that will call us forth? What if God is right here with us?

To live in our lives presently is the best act of faith and defiance there is. When we choose to embrace, give thanks and serve right where we are, we are saying we trust God to work things out, we are saying we believe in miracles, we are refusing to let our past suck us back in or the future discombobulate us. It is to be rooted, anchored and steadfast. After all, God is a very present help in trouble. 

This space is for us to learn, let go, love and so, To Really Live. Yes, you will find stuff about -

The past ~ memories, reflections, lessons
The future ~ dreams, plans, inspiration
The present ~ dailiness, doldrums, darting danger and drumming up fun!

And dear friends, join in. Your past can encourage my present, Your future can be energised my past.

 Let's Really Live - together - for it was never meant to be done alone.

Thank you for being here.

more dust with the prophet Jeremiah...and how to really deal with rejection

Things can be both funny and un-funny at the same time.

Like being called a weeping prophet. It sounds funny; the image of this grown man going around like a his tear ducts need healing, and you don't know if mid-sentence he may just began to bawl. Most of us would stay away from someone so seemingly volatile. This is when it gets un-funny. Tears are like spontaneous combustion - get the right mix, and they come brimming over your lids.

In our wonderful Gospel of God-loves-us; it is very hard to imagine, much less embrace that we may be called to a ministry of rejection and tears.

Yes, we love those verses that light up our esteem where Jeremiah was told

"before I formed you in the womb i knew you; before you were born I sanctified you; I ordained you a prophet to the nations." ~ 1v5

But, read on and we won't be as enthusiastic when we find out his job description and his working conditions!

No wonder at one point the prophet got so fed-up, he was so bummed out, so near expiry, he moaned and groaned his lot

"Woe is me, my mother, that you have borne me,
a man of strife and contention to the whole world!
... I sat alone because of Your hand,
for you have filled me with indignation.
why is my pain perpetual and my wound which refuses to be healed?
Will you be to me an unreliable stream, as waters that fail?" ~ 15v10,18f

He is lonely and rejected.
His efforts are futile.
It all seems pointless.

In his pain, he staggers and everything seems a blur and it feels he cannot find God anywhere.

Jeremiah by Rembrandt

You and I know these feelings.

We live in a world where we are just naturally skilled at hurting others and being hurt (most of it unintended!). Rejection, loneliness, and doubts assail us. What is the point of trying, obeying, sacrificing?

God's response is not the molly-coddle we hope for. He stands his man up and refocuses him on his mission -

"If you return, then I will bring you back,  you shall stand before me; if you take out the precious from the vile, you shall  be as my mouth." ~ 15v19

Return? Where did Jeremiah go? He veered off course down the ravine of self-absorption and was having a one-soul picnic: the pity party. I used to throw these parties often, especially when PMS hit. The spread is simple - take out from the basket every memory of hurt and break it apart to look for something to soothe your feelings. You will find nothing.

God didn't scold the prophet for his feelings; but He calls him to pack up the picnic. One more thing: God said there it is a mix of precious and vile. 

Extracting gold, refining silver, creating a pearl of great price takes effort. Jeremiah, you and I need to know where to direct our energies: separate the precious from the vile. See the hand of God in your situation. Find the gift and grace in your pain. Focus on the goodness and kindness that can be found in the midst of the craziness.

Picnic basket packed, we move on to a place more suited for serious reflection and prayer.

God says, "you shall stand before me".

God doesn't intend for us to lose our place with and before Him. Standing before God is the place of seeking Him, communing with Him, and being commissioned by Him.

There's more -

"..they will fight against you, but they shall not prevail against you;
for I am with you to save you
and deliver you.." ~ v20

Jeremiah, you and I will eat dust and, more than live:

*Scriptures taken from the New King James Version

free to live

we feel so bound.
it shows up in a thousand ways.
laments, sighs, recriminations, accusations, questions, tears...
what is it we really want?
what is it we cannot reach out to?
what it is we cannot release?

why

set free
no longer in bondage
not bound
but
bounding
abounding
Grace led
Grace filled
Grace carried
Grace joy-ed

just a mind game
or more?

eating in church - consumers in the pews.

Christianity is the invitation and challenge to live – zoe – really live. The Greek word zoe which is used to describe eternal life is different from bios which is used to denote simply breathing and hopefully, moving. To zoe is to really live. It is resurrection life – a life no longer encumbered by the grave clothes of sin, the past, and death. It is a life so attractive, so dynamic, so impactful that it was once described as ‘turning the world upside down’ (acts 17v6 ASV).

Everywhere the gospel has been preached and lived, the forces of hell and the darkness of the human heart has tried to prevail over it. Thankfully, Jesus has so assured us: I will build my church and the gates of hell shall not prevail against it (Mt 16 )

Jesus’ assurance follows on the God-given utterance by his burly disciple Peter that “Jesus is the Christ, the Son of the Living God”. This means that no church or Christian should sit on our laurels and hide behind nice sounding theological-isms such as ‘once saved always saved’ or whatever else when clearly our hearts and our lives are not proclaiming that Jesus is the Christ and in his life, message and mission, we have our life, message and mission. Zoe life is to share and live out Christ’s life. In apostle Paul’s lingo, ‘Christ in us is the hope of glory’.

Mere words will not suffice as we learn from Peter – he who uttered such divinely inspired confession will soon betray His friend and master.

Some years ago, it was popular to speak of Singaporeans pursuring 5Cs: cash, car, condo, and so on. I borrow from this a warning for us to beware of 5 Cs that are making our faith and witness anemic.


1. Consumerism
Consumerism is the dominant value of life today. It determines so much of our life. From the time a baby arrives, we are bombarded with decisions of what to buy and use. This does not let up as we choose schools, careers, partners and eventually, the place to deposit our ashen selves. To be alive today is to consume. This is bios today. When we are not deeply aware of this, we can trade in our precious zoe for bios.
Signs of consumerism abound in church today. The locus of worship is that we come together to adore and praise our God, thank Him for the gift of salvation, and celebrate our family in Christ – proclaiming the good news of the gospel. Instead, with our consumerist, demanding selves, we get stuck in intransigence over matters of style, seating arrangements and Holy Communion liturgy. We measure each other by worldly standards and enter the church not to be changed but to exact our expectations and dues from pastor and fellow alike. We measure church health and growth by output and wrongly equate maturity with ‘ministry’; often perpetuating the Singaporean busy-ness syndrome.