Birthday (B)log!

 A strenuous dream stirred me awake..in the wee hours of 31st December. Thankfully, I was tired enough to fall back asleep. I next opened my eyes to a brightened room and my mind began to fill fast with thoughts of things undone, tasks to do, and ideas loving to consider. But soon, a sense of weariness crept in. ‘Happy birth-day’ should be about my being, not my do-ing!

Forty-six years ago, Love ushered me into this world...why?

For years it has been my habit to spend some part of my birthday looking back to trace Grace-prints, mark the pits and my folly that helped me stumble into them...and then to listen for the Wind's blowing for the new year.

I was sick last year after a busy Christmas season, and trundled clumsily into January...feeling totally awful and unprepared for 2012. But I felt a relief ...a reminding; that even my good habits must not overtake God and His Grace. I sensed the Wind late; it wasn't until January 14th that my new journal was ready. Epiphany.

After settling the kids’ breakfast, I sat to write in my journal. A plain recording of the moments up to that point...I had no appetite for breakfast, ideas or plans..so I wrote the last line: "today I shall drift". I  texted a few girlfriends. One of them replied, " sounds like a good 'plan'!".

Well, even drifting was challenging since I had to co-ordinate with hubby about kids...some one as always lays a way. How does one negotiate drifting?

The time came for me to hop on the train into town. Two of my older sisters are meeting me for tea. We went to a small shop filled with ornamental angels, chests, and posters, and clusters of chairs around tables. We sit in a corner and begin to examine the menu. I love trying stuff, but we settle for two pre-designed tea sets of bruschetta, cakes and scones.

 Being intentional and pastoral, I often ponder about our conversations. But today my mind gets to rest- I am drifting! The conversation was true and fast...hearts were bared through long diatribes about stubborn daughters and 'individuating' sons. Life is. Sisters are special- we can keep up the talking since most of the drama of our lives revolve around people we all know. My sisters agree at the end it maybe a good idea to invite my nieces and nephew to a new series on Love. The sister with the persistent cough may go off chicken on my suggestion...stuff of life.

The kids were excited dad got the Two Towers (I keep calling the them the Twin Towers) DVD. I slipped out to share some cake with a neighbor then came back to finish the movie and settle them for bed - a whole  hour later than I had instructed! My plan to be at a Watchnight service weakened. I showered and put on my flannel pjs, the rain has been falling lightly most of the night so it is now very cool for the tropics....

And I hope to drift off to sleep soon....

Every day is in itself un-repeatable; filled with details oft unplanned and perhaps even unwanted. Life has always been about this paradoxical tension of and/or: you plan, you also cannot plan. But on my birthday, planning was really low – which is a rest when you live in a busy city filled with expectations, longings and fears.

You know...Almost, Nearly, Always!

With the New Year coming, I’d like to introduce you to three familiar friends. This is because they have a knack for taking the ‘new’out of any year. Meet them and find out for yourelf! They will tell you about themselves:

My name is Almost. I have two buddies, Nearly and Always. We are pretty different; but as with all friends, we found a way to hang out, laugh, and not take each other too seriously. In fact, I think we look pretty good as a lot: Almost Nearly Always. I told you.

Well, those two can wait. First, let me tell you about myself.

I have great ideas-

-Better distribution of resources to end world poverty

-Roundtable talks to negotiate water resources so that nobody dies of thirst

-Cross-fertilisation of think tanks to deal with those intractable issues like democratizing nations, Aids, and mother-in-laws. Yes, I am also funny.

Ah…and in case you think I live in the higher realms, I also cover more pedestrian concerns like

-Losing weight

-Proper exercise

-Wardrobe makeovers

-Tidying my room (really)

And I come really close to actually doing something about these stuff I think about and talk about. In fact, my sterling quality is precisely this: everyone holds me in pretty high regard because I am so close to what everyone is trying to deal with. My admirers range from the neighbourhood coffeshop assistant to that smart professor of Philosophy who sometimes I see running in the park! I don’t exchange mere pleasantries when I meet folks: we talk for quite a bit. I always nod knowingly and with the sincerest empathy for whatever whoever is going through; and I am proud to say some of me rubs off on them afterward.

O, here comes Nearly.

This is a real chum. In fact, when I am with him, we seem to have a doubly effective effect! Just a few weeks ago, we spoke with young and old and everyone single one of them benefitted from the clarifying chat. I still remember some of what we talked about:

Bringing a gift for a friend’s birthday

Calling up her mother (she has not spoken to her in years)

Trying out a new way of talking to the kids

Changing job

Buying a new brand of (o dear I forgot what this one was about… My name is Almost remember?)

It is amazing how relieved people feel when they just know that these things at least crossed their minds.

Always is strongest of the three of us. She has this knack of sneaking up on conversations – whether the person is talking to himself or to others – and simply stabilizing everything. No change, no shift, no move. Nada. That is power I say. Just keeps everything the way it is! Just consider how she slips in and maintains the status quo:

I am always so slow/worried/blur (works with any adjective – amazing right?)

He’s always so selfish

It always rains when we have plans

See? She’s amazing!

Well, the Mayans were wrong. Or should we say right: after all, from the looks of things, we are almost, nearly about to end in a big bang (the way we began presumably)! Always.

a truly merry Christmas

There's lots of help going around this busy season: where to eat, what to buy, where to get the best and cheapest!

Here's something on how to have a truly merry Christmas - from moi!

First, it's important to be merry. Perhaps you are not given to episodes of melancholy like I am, but I am sure life gets busy, difficult and tiring enough that being merry just seem so....naive!

Well, when the angels lit up the night sky with the out-of-this-world proclamation; they cried out "Peace on earth! GoodWill to men!" These words have always intrigued me. We simply see and feel and share too little of this. The angels are telling us something deep, permanent and essential has changed! God Himself is not to immersed in human history that all of humankind cannot help but be able to taste peace and share goodwill. If we ponder this long enough... we cannot help but chuckle in surprise, do a little gig and scream 'Merry Christmas!'. 

Here is Merry.


mer·ry  [mer-ee] 
adjective, mer·ri·er, mer·ri·est.
1.
full of cheerfulness or gaiety; joyous in disposition or spirit: a merry little man.
2.
laughingly happy; mirthful; festively joyous; hilarious: a merry time at the party.
3.
Archaic. causing happiness; pleasant; delightful

Now for getting truly merry.

#1 remember the point of it all
If God has come and the great Promise had been kept - that our world can be saved; do not fret about that party, present or person already!

#2 spread a little merry
think of someone, no matter how distant from your orbit (okay, pray God shows you someone) - and consider how this person experiences happiness and do something to bring a smile (or a tear).

#3 join the merry
you probably aren't glum as a person; but very few of us know how to really look up and live. look around for something that will really lift your spirit and be there! (thanking God you can)

Have a really Merry Christmas friends!

Post-vacation thoughts... Rest is what we need!

It happened.
The way thoughts and concerns about work: back-log, people to call, the ever growing do-list, the bits you suddenly realise you forgot...creep into the last few days of vacation. I was already carrying a sermon burden, but some moments, my entire calendar and to-do list appeared in my mind like a drop-down menu !
I sighed.

It happened.
I came home and it was meeting the next day which led to another meeting..several emails requiring attention and that to-do list which now looks oddly inadequate. With my lapses in memory, i scramble to recall if i had already planned for that meeting and this appointment... My soul beat a quick retreat and I longed for a whole new world!

Did you ever want a permanent get-away, a forever holiday? I surprised myself; I who laud embrace-the-present and live out loud. Of course, at any time, our lives are never completely how we want them. Lack, loss or loneliness is part of the human experience; and moving to Colorado will only bring another set of angst.

The vacation was great. A different rhythm, spending time with warm, loved people. But what I need, as always is rest. Rest in Love that alone can reassure, tune me sound and send me forth. And you know what? this Rest comes easily really. My worn chair, a quietened heart, a journal and Bible plus a good book or two.

Get some rest my friend before you launch into 2013!

Foreign Corresponding...

Hey!
I am writing off a "20-minute access" computer at the town library in Fort Collins called the Purdue River Public Library!

Book and library lovers travel anywhere and still end up in these nests of comfort: Firestone rare books, Barnes and Noble, and yes, town libraries - why not?

So here's a piece about a local library in a foreign land:

1. It's a huge place with three floors. I easily spot "children's" to make a direct beeline for with two restless, sugar-filled boys in tow. More than a corner, it has several interactive panels which i am tempted to fiddle with myself but for the shelves of books everywhere! The rambunctious boys play war-and-no-peace among the panels, I interrupting when the noise level gets unacceptable...but so far, no one has thrown a disapproving frown  across my path.

2. Shelf-labeling is interesting: they have 'staff picks', 'seasonal' (it's nearly Thanksgiving), and shelves called 'Hot and Cold', 'Think Big', 'All in the family' and..the more common, 'Mystery'. I am amused and attracted --but know from experience Asians will have little patience for such obtuse labels!

3. So many PCs to use! They have a twenty minutes limit for most sets and I went eureka! I set the boys down to one and so here i am at another PC! [ i must mention a young male librarian worked very hard to get the sound out onto to headsets so the boys can tune in to www.pbskids.com and watch/play Curious George! Nice.

4. Music in the library - live! i got to go: Dana and Susan are about to perform with banjo, harmonica and guitar a suite they called 'Journey across America' - what a panaromic treat!

Not in a hurry to return to my Bishan library at this point. Grins.

[posted after i return as my twenty minute ran out and the music started so.. ;) ]