7 Jul 2014

Seeking Faith

Faith is not fluff ; but sometimes, it can feel like vapour. 
It is hard to grasp and hold on to.

Over my fish lunch today I hear a friend share her struggles and she asks, "how is it faith doesn't seem to make a difference here?".

You and I share the sentiment. In our own lives, we wish faith can shatter the dark like a hammer or else unlock a treasury of new possibilities so that we can step out of these old tired shoes we have been wearing and are cramping our feet. Sometimes faith seems so powerless; like when -

fear and doubt darken the corridors of our mind and we shut down a little
discouragement returns even as we just set our heart to move forward
persistent pain stares us daily as things remain unchanged for all our thumping on heaven's door

We look at ourselves.
We look at our spouses, children, situations, and we ask, "how can it be done?".

How does God's kingdom come and will get done in this world bent of breaking it all apart?
How does it happen, and will I be able to really spot it?
How do I make it last long enough to become a happily-ever-after?

When will night give way to day?
when will the flowers finally open to the sky and bloom?
when will we really make a difference - that lasts?

We look at ourselves. And we wonder, "where is my faith?"

and God whispers,
"Those are questions of a faith-filled heart. You have not lost faith. You have lost sight of what faith is built on."

Then I lift my eyes - and He continues,
"It has been done."

I get it.


The Cross and the Resurrection has done it: the deep reversal, the overturning, the upheaval.

We are in the season of the dust settling; so we see unclear.

And because it has been done; it will be done.

Those who see, such as St Paul records his sighting for us:

"...Christ is all, and is in all (and we God's people) are clothed with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience (where we are able to ) bear with each other and forgive whatever grievance..and put on love which binds us all together in perfect unity as the peace of Christ rules in our hearts...together with His Word so that we are able to teach and admonish one another with wisdom and praise God in song and psalm, with gratitude. 
Then everything we do - let it be directed towards Jesus!" 

~ Colossians 3v11-17 paraphrased, Jenni c.2014


Our part -

"..if you're serious about living this new resurrection life with Christ, act like it. 
Pursue the things over which Christ presides."

"Don's shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up, be alert to what is going on around Christ - what's where the action is. See things from his perspective."

~ Colossians 3v1-2, The Message version



Looks like we need to train our eyes to look past the obvious. Help each other here: share the good stuff worth looking at can?

And each of us on a quest: the perfect mate, the great marriage, the dream job, the 'calling'... place them where they belong: personal ambition, fear-prompted, envy-triggered or is the quest really initiated by God and is your Father's heart for you?


And some serious effort here:

"throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles.."
 ~ Heberws 12v1, NIV



This week: what hinders you? What entangles and catches your feet so you stumble?

Share with us: fill a comment. You never know who you will lift up with what you share honest and faith-seeking.



1 Jul 2014

When my son wailed 'I'm a failure!" and it spoke so much wisdom...

The routine was usual enough. Parents and caregivers stood around the school gate area waiting for the boys in blue and white to appear, noise first. As my son walked down the slope towards me, I noticed his expression of concern-unhappiness.

"Hi son!"
"Mom, I failed my Chinese! I AM A FAILURE!"

Needless to say, I promptly corrected his thinking. 'You failed your Chinese son. That is not the same as you are a failure....". But soon enough, God would have to remind me of the same.


We don't speak much of failures. But none of us get through life without failing some. 

There are even times when we feel like we are failures, living as we do in a world of successes. 
Today, a woman shares how a poor payment decision led to a huge mess and her losing her job. A few weeks back, a fellow mom watched her son step out of the house and she collapsed in grief.

A few months ago as I was reflecting on my own failings, and found that although it was one specific area of my life, somehow, a fog descended and because it wasn't a situation I could reverse, the failure seem to cling to my soul and began to eat its way inwards. That was when I heard:

... don't let one failing bleed into all your parts ...

God was warning me not to let a failure mark me. I was hurt, disappointed and bleeding in one spot. But if I wasn't careful, that bleed can begin to soak back in and cause me to malfunction.

When I finally met my fellow mom, she talked of how she was drained and struggling, but later got up out of bed to continue to care for the rest of her family. To her surprise, setting her heart on what she could do; she found strength again. She was even able to listen to and felt the pain of another.

Failing is hard for us who have lived a few decades. After all, we think: we are suppose to get better at this thing called 'life'. But sometimes, new things come and it's just hard. Parenting for example is a long journey of new things round every bend. If there is something that humbles us, parenting has to be it. So expecting ourselves to be able to hack life better seriously increases the burden we already carry. We need to allow ourselves to fail.

In fact, I posed this Q to a group of mature executives recently, "did any of you experience recently a surprise that you were not able to do something, or found something challenging?".  Everyone said 'yes'. I laughed out loud and we chimed, "life-long learning!!".

It does take us a life-time to learn about our own lives: why we hurt the way we do, how we heal best, what ways we can still function and even reach out when we feel cut down or diminished. This is the most important learning there is; and alas, it takes failure in the mix to learn it.


We are not a scroll recording accolades and success. We are more a a pot on a wheel going round, experiencing some harsh pressures and pinches as we take shape.

And here, dear friends, are some wonderful shapes that emerge ~








This particular pottery form holds such sweet meaning ~


23 Jun 2014

What can.should happen when we sing 'You are worthy'...

It's a song we sing often in my community:


But last Saturday, I felt as if God turned off all the music and sound, and a singular beam shone down on me as He gently probed, "Am I worthy of it all?". 

When you have lived more than four decades, somehow, you don't go happy clappy 'yes' so quickly. Not just so, I am in the wait-zone where He has seemed really quiet; or if he spoke, it has not directly answered my questions. Meanwhile, the wheels of life go round and round.... . Not an enjoyable space. 

And suddenly, I feel like I see this long uneven road all the way behind and ahead of me; and I asked myself, 'Is God worthy of all that I have gone through?" which is to ask -

Am I going about life in a way that reflects His worth?
If God be truly worthy, what price can be too high? Would't that mean joy ought to be a permanent exuberance of my life?

Do I consider that everything I have gone through of worth, since I believe He watches over me - and what's more, somehow, able to bring Him worth?

God is of course worthy of all the good stuff. He is worthy of all my best accolades and successes. He is worthy of all my mighty singing and crazy mixed-stepped dancing. He is worthy of the hard choices, the wee hours of prayer, the study, the pursuit, the quiet... but - to - think that - 
my life - 
with all of the dark splotches, the botched efforts, the present and persistent darkness, the rebellion, the running away... all of it gathered up and offered...and found to be of worth. God asks of nothing more than my life. And my life is a really mixed bag of gems and mostly hard-edged stones.....

I suddenly felt a strange comfort. Even the drear and weariness of seeming to sit forever at the gate waiting to take flight lifted off me.




The light that shone on me now shines from within as I see that the best of what I have in my tiny life is but God himself. Every decision, sacrifice, denial, dying, resisting, surrender --- leads to One thing: more of God. 

So is He worthy of it all?

If God says to lay down my dreams. To step on that pride. To step away, to step down, to step up... whatever, wherever, God himself will meet me at every turn and --

He is worthy of it all

for

He is the source of all that is worthy and worthwhile

So the song is really one of adoration as we marvel at how God Infinite comes to dwell in finite us and works patiently through the dark so His light breaks forth. Let's hear it again :

*


* i picked 2 different versions of the song just because you may like one more.