21 Aug 2014

All Parenting must start at the very beginning...with Genesis

We love '....and they lived happily ever after'.... 

But -
that won't do unless it began with 'Once upon a time'... which makes it real, concrete, believable -- because -- it apparently really happened before!



Do our lives have a 'Once upon a time' too? 

Yes it does!

Perhaps this is why we connect with the stories and long for the logical conclusion: the bad guy is extinguished and the good guy wins and saves the gal; and they live happily ever after!

Sounds like heaven to me! {Jesus comes and vanquish his enemies and win His bride the church}.

Except --
to a temperamental teen and a distracted boy, heaven feels more real when the teen gets to whatsapp furiously with friends, while the eight year old gets to play without a care for time or chore with his Lego pieces.

This is where Genesis comes in.

I dream of perfection and highest joys with them. I remind them that heaven is very real, and is the longing of our hearts because right there in Genesis chapter 1 we had it. It was great.

But we messed it up. So now we feed on counterfeits and can grow callous and insensitive to the real deal.

This basic truth is so essential and foundation to parenting children (of the utero or spiritual kind). Genesis sets the stage for us to understand so much. Like they say, "if you don't know where you came from, you're likely going to lose your way".

The creation of humankind is our background story. It explains our glories, longings, possibilities and the very real threats and angst we feel. It can be taught simply to smaller kids and used with great drama with teens!

Take this conversation for example -

son : I'll be so happy if I don't have to work, but everything is work..even playing!
me : well, God created us to work!
son : {looks at me}
me : Do you remember why? (i whip out my phone and read}
let us make human beings in our image, make them reflecting our nature
so they can be ressponsible for the fish...and yes, Earth itself..
{read with drama of course}
See, it is part of God's plan that we work. It's good for us!
But you remember what happened right? {i remind him of the Original Sin and continue reading}
"the very ground is cursed because of you;
getting food from the ground will be painful..
the ground will sprout thorns and weeds.."
God created us to work, to take care of everything. Sin has made the work much harder. This is why we find it so tough; and we are tempted to become lazy.
But this is the beginning right? What happens later?

son: Jesus dies for us.
me : That's right! Now,you have the Holy Spirit within you. Jesus lives within you ..and listen carefully to this:
"do your best, work from the heart for your real master for God.."

This is the picture we parents want to avoid:


Helping our children embrace life involves helping them to see a huge part of life correctly: work.
Hopefully, our own view is sound too.

Genesis, the book of beginnings -
sets us straight, inspires us, and reminds us of why we need a Saviour.
throws us back to depend on the sweet Spirit to guide and empower us.
opens our eyes to the First Person of the Godhead, the only real Power there is, and so -
sets us on the solid ground of reverence and awe, gratitude and godly fear.

It's a very good place to start!



18 Aug 2014

when your book launch teaches you what your book is saying


So yesterday was The Book Launch.

publisher's spiel
Here is the publisher sharing his excitement over his trademark and imprint.

I was very happy yesterday. 

The day had begun with the family going to support a local church we know for their anniversary where my husband was invited to preach at. We then drove over to The Arts House and found a free Sunday parking lot (these things bring cheer when you live in the city!) within walking distance from the venue. 

The event was being held at a historic spot - where the Parliament met for more than two decades - a place where words were aplenty, debates were lively and decisions were formed. I love old, historic buildings; and it was not typical to be able to launch a Christian book at such a venue.

Then the people started to stream in. I lighted up. Being the extrovert, I loved meeting people, especially my friends; and especially because city-life and motherhood just don't conspire to make getting together with people happen easily. Every face was so full of meaning and memories for me. One recently-made friend came with her family in tow and I knew it was her determination to come that brought the whole lot. My mind and heart was a-flutter for in each face I saw people who have taught me something from their life; I recount how our paths crossed; what we shared in the time we worked/talked/played/grew up together. I was dizzy with delight!

Yet all the way I was also a bag of nerves.

When the publisher first said, 'we should do a launch", I just wasn't too enthusiastic. It seemed so officious, so self-seeking somehow to go, 'hey everyone! come look at what I've done!'.There was a time I did that often within the chambers of my heart. But these days, it's just plain awkward. In fact, I noticed that I have lost my youthful optimism and blustery confidence as a small still whimper kept coming back, 'people are too busy". Sure, some people have told me they are coming. But we also needed to fill the numbers, and that was just hard for me.

The publisher picked up my nervousness and tried to assure me that there will be people who will support, my husband reminded me that there were people who loved me and cared about my gifts. But I kept having these doubts.

What I have written is so true. Being loved is hard for us. We are so used to working for approval. A book launch is like asking for love-in-advance. They haven't read the book, they may hate it. It may be a huge letdown... who knows? It's asking people to show up and say 'she has something worth saying'. Or perhaps, they came because they were curious (never been to a launch or the the Old Chambers), or they were obliged to (church friends?). It's horrible to think this way and scar a good beautiful thing. But we do it. I do it.

The Insecurity is deep. The soul-enemy loves to drum in the spaces of that crack in our souls and turn up the noise so that love gets drowned out.


I feel sorry to have felt this way. It felt like I let my friends down to have such a thin faith in our affections.

The only thing I can do is thank as many as I can individually for their presence. I know it has taken their time and effort to come be a part of something unfolding. But can I thank them enough for depositing love into my hungry soul and so being strength-agents for my life?


Thank you friends. 





7 Aug 2014

We cannot get the Big Picture -- and it's okay...

We all like to know 'why'.
It stands to reason as we are creatures of reason.
Some of us are happy with a big picture; others need a lot more detail, so social scientists tell us.

Well, I for one am generally happy to begin moving in a direction once I know where the arrow points. But, with some things, details are necessary.... like needing some sign that your kid is really, actually studying, not just being told , "don't worry mom, I'm studying!". Right?



But sometimes, we simply won't get the Big, whole picture no matter how hard to strain to. This is how I found out recently.

My 14 yr old shared with us this year that she feels she is ready for baptism. As pastor-parents, we are delighted! But I must admit that my delight is tainted with some concern. Does she really understand? Is she really ready? I must admit that I agree with a fellow parent here: some of this concern is troubling as what it really reflects may be self-concern that we have done a good job as parents! Ouch!

The sleuth in me began to set to work. What has led up to this point?
You see, my daughter has an extremely questioning mind. When she was six, sitting in the sofa reading something, she suddenly looked up and said out loud, "Isn't it God's fault since He put the tree in the garden in the first place?". This is the first of a long barrage of questions that came, and with each year, they also became laced with a sheen of skepticism.

And then, clear as sky, I could see she no longer read her Bible or prayed. It was painful.

Well, we had spots of light -
she kept asking
she talked and debated with us (rather than turn away)

So yes, I wanted to trace what led to this amazing tipping point.

It wasn't difficult as they were all in the journals of my heart: the moment several years ago I felt God said to "fight for her destiny" and it quickened me to pray and continue creating a home where the spiritual is weaved real into everything and everyday. And then an event or two plus heart conversations... with a river of tears and prayers (mine and several dear fellow-moms) flowing beneath it all....

This is my version of what led to Baptism.

Then, during the service, she went up and gave her testimony. It began, "Hi, I am ...14..and the daughter of not one, but two pastors" to knowing laughter around us. This is all the mention we get by-the-way (the Ouch).

She then goes on to describe what led to this point; and guess what? Her story and mine doesn't fit! Not even an overlap in parts!

I thought God worked and met her in certain ways.
She talked about how God met her in other ways.

I felt a Holy Laugh.

I get it the next morning. My sleuth work isn't bad. It's just what I saw and felt meaningful. Her story is honest. It's what's real to her. And I get it: we cannot get the Big Picture of what God is up to sometimes. But we each have a sliver of it and it is enough for us to take the next step.

Yet moments like these - when we know what we know isn't all there is to know -- well, we bow and give thanks; for that's all we can do!

"For my thoughts are not your thoughts,
neither are you ways my ways", 
declares the LORD ~ Isaiah 55v8 



As the Psalmist reminds us,
Who can proclaim the mighty acts of the Lord
or fully declare his praise?
~
Psalm 106v2 {emphasis mine}