Women

For moms ~

YOU are more beautiful than you realise! click and watch this:


when others see me
http://www.upworthy.com/2-people-described-the-same-person-to-a-forensic-artist-and-this-is-what-happene?c=upw1





Recycling never looked more beautiful!

i love beautiful stuff and so when my friend began this interest and then it took off ... i simply must yap about it! Just look!

She tells me it's called Napkin Decoupage - the art of using beautiful print tissue on wood, rattan, porcelain, and more. Lovely isn't it? 

The best part of the whole creative experience is what the ladies go away with: not just a new object de art to be proud of, but a joyful experience of possibility, vision, laughter and yes, new friendships. 

Here's the place to visit for more information:

My Art Piece






GUYS!
you're missing something... LISTEN to Dustin Hoffman:


click here:
Hoffman tears at his realization...!




WHAT DO WE DO WHEN OUR MEN LET US DOWN?

This Question has emerged so often when women come up to me, often tentatively; prodded by the need that nearly drives them round the bend.

Disappointment, sadness, loneliness, even betrayal surfaces easily once I turn full-face and listen to my sisters. 
What does a woman do when her man is chiefly concerned about his way.
What does a woman do when her man buys Viagara home and tersely tells her it's for her sake.
What does a woman do when her man is like a hollow and all her words move towards him but never seem to touch anything?

We dont know what to do; for we are already lost in what we feel.... the anger, confusion, doubt and guilt all mashed together. 

Many many women begin to shut down, shut out, and give up on their marriages; thinking this is just the way it's going to be. They bravely bear with it - praying still for some miracle, standing in this uneven place, all wobbly just so the children can have a sense of family....some are too afraid to rock a boat that while reeking with dead fish is still at least floating...

All of our loving is at best a generous loan that demands payment. 

We need a Love that simple operates out of this world if we are to even believe in Love and pursue it still.

Nancy & Chuck Missler's book The Way of Agape explains this well: human loves are ultimately self-seeking.

Hence our loving is wrapped up with control, fear, jealousy and a desperate need for reciprocation. The mantra is : we will keep loving when we are loved back.
The other version of this is when we say: if he does this/that, I am out of here!

Our loving has severe limits which also pinch at our own heels all the time.

Only AGAPE - the love of GOD is unconditional, freely given and available to all. Only when our loving draws from the Love and stands on it will our vision of life, marriage and love look different. 

Only when we know we are loved by an Eternal Lover and that our men like us, need this same Lover who can heal their egos and send them on a worthy mission (which includes cherishing us) is there a deeper refreshing spring available to water our often lacking and arid marriages.

Facing the poverty of our love and marriages can be scary but it is the truthful and healing thing to do. Looking up from the mire we are in and seeing Eyes that still look with compassion and offer hope is what revives us -- and if we lay hold of this Love, then our loving too becomes touched and changed....

Here are some other bits from the recent Women’s Conference:

Voice and wisdom of Asian women

Other than Lisa Bevere and Janet Boynes, all the other women who spoke were Asian, and Singaporean (well, there was Ps Naomi Dowdy; but she lived here for more than two decades). This is a wonderful sign of many things: our maturation as women and as a church, our increasing confidence in each other that we have worthwhile things to say, an indication of the mark that many sisters are making in different arenas of church and society. We should bring out the champagne- and we did: instead of the usual lanyards, we were handed these beautiful crystalline necklaces, a celebration of femininity and of the ways we have grown as a body! Kudos to the organizing team!

My mind and heart turns to many other sisters as well: those work quietly at homes and in ministry and may never appear in the headlines: careers of special children, aged and chronic sick, faithful supporters of spouse and kin. Most of these would never go near a platform, but they deserve and probably need the affirmation and empowerment as much, if not more.

Need to hear the call to arise

Created to be help-meet, women tend to drink deep of relational happinesss and in turn feel often trapped and deeply lonely when such is missing. We constantly need reminding, and being shown ways to build upon the artesian spring of Love that we are now connected to in Christ. This is not about thinking positive, but thinking true. Not only so, God's call to us is way beyond coping with our lot. He calls us to fluorish and be a witness. This is well nigh impossible unless all our thinking, feeling and acting are led and empowered by the Spirit - a lifestyle that takes years to build with consistent and persistent habits. Simply recalling pithy, even true and well said words will not cut it; thoughts are easily assaulted in daily moments, and we are foolish to think we will be able to live full and free without being filled and set free by our being committed to regular habits that make this real…. Being quiet, praise, filling up on Truth.

Monologue's limits

If the way we seek growth is to sit and listen, the growth can be most haphazard and at times even hazardous. True growth and transformation is a gift and mystery which involves each of us making truth discoveries and serendipitous applications. Unless the teacher/pastor/prophet halts every so often for us to actually interact and make notes, like a woodcarver making nicks in the wood as he plans for the emergence of the form he sees in his mind's eyes, we often remain clueless about actual changes to expect and to act on. The ocean of God's love is vast, deep and rich- but sitting at the beach hearing the waves crash and marveling at its grandeur is simply not the same as being shown and taught how to wade in, swim, and surf! So simply listening to someone else speak has its limits…

Relational wonder and beauty among sisters

I felt happy I went. It was a conference borne out of vision, worked at with diligence and it rode on the faith and energy, gifts and contributions of many sisters linking arms across churches in Singapore. I sensed the Father's pleasure. For myself, I am glad for the gathering of God daughters. We re-connect, laugh, listen, cheer and believe together - and seriously, it's just something we gals are good at!

Thoughts on being a lioness.

Reflections on first two sessions by Lisa Bevere, author of Lioness Arising at the National Women's Conference 2013

She stood before us, nearly five hundred women, all straight and strong..and with her clear booming voice calls us to awake, arise and be the lionesses we are. She took us back to her journey, to a vivid dream that gave her life a direction that now takes her to women in many countries; calling us forth to be who we are as daughters of the Most High.

It was a dream where she saw a lioness laying very stil on bold words "numbers 23". It was a reference to a Bible verse that says, "the people rise like a lioness.  "

This led her to years of interest and study of the lioness. She is right in many ways: amnesia, sloth, division and distraction is so true in our individual lives and in the church. So she calls to us to rise, be strong, believe, reach for that way-out-there limb where the fruit hangs. She inspired us not to be limited by our circumstances, not to fret the small stuff, but to speak grand, hopeful and fierce. She urges us to dig into the Word, speak it into reality...

As an avid animal documentary viewer, I can easily see those lion prides and remember my own interpretations of animal behaviour. Even my house cat clearly demonstrates a strength and elegance that is winsome and persuasive.

Yes, i needed reminding. I get squeezed easily and often conform to the mould of my many questions regarding unmet needs, and fears, the Word sitting on the table like ancient parchment too mysterious to be real and present. Until - I take and read, read slow, and more..till everything sloughs off powerless, and all the noise and the oppression of being unable to breathe free dies down and I emerge like I am in new skin.

But, much as i am drawn to the lioness image, I know too well that there are days  my weaknesses takes centre-stage and I need to give myself permission to lament, to sorrow, to stay with the pain- not to whine, but to dare to feel deep into the darkness and see that I am one like all others: still sin-bent in so many ways. And that it is in repentance and quiet that my salvation comes. I drown in the rough waters but a hand reaches and pulls me forth...and each time i seem more Grace-tuned and turn to be more gracious and patient with weakness and those who seem weaker.

Which of these two should be foundational? Which of these do I experience more of? Being a somewhat melancholic nut crazy about existential angst, I swim the murky waters more than I should. Indeed, the past decades, with a steady compilation of life's disappointments and the growing truth of one's limits- I must confess I am in need of conversion to a brighter more faith-filled posture. However, I am very uncomfortable with the 'saying the right words' mantra that seem to smack of  a quick, almost escapist approach where it seems simply mouthing sound words change anything essential.

Being a lioness sounds grand, but I really want to know how to walk with the Lion - safe and brave all at once, keenly aware of the dangers she faces and the crushing pains she may need to feel as the Lion shows her his mastery and she follows and enjoys His Presence.

 

A deck of cards. 

That’s what I saw. 

Then I thought of how we can put our hopes in grand visions that are really a deck of cards – won’t stand the test of time, the strain of everyday.

Women dream a lot. The Prince. The romance. The beautiful home. The great kids. The satisfying job. My ideal ‘me’!

What happens when it turns out to be a deck of cards, because --

we were too naïve,

over-rated ourselves,

refused to heed counsel,

impatient,

envious,

anxious…

How we try desperately to build, rebuild and fix.

O we are so capable of that!

 Perhaps the kindest cut is when the Strong hand comes and sweeps the cards off the table and sets out something different for us to consider, savour, accept.

As the Wind blew..i sensed one word captures where i will be taken deeper --

word designed by Melanie :)

What about you this 2013?





Does this excite you? Would you find a way to contribute?

"a website for Asian women to share lives and gain wisdom"

This past year I have found so many vibrant online communities begin in the USA that it made me think. 

With internet cafes and wi-fi cities, women throughout Asia have a new way to connect and help each other. 

We face some similar challenges that all women do - with an Asian flavour! Think traditional expectations, mother-in-law issues, finding ourselves in a hugely man-defined world, loneliness, questions about our sexuality...work (to or not, how far to go)... 

So i thought, why not something similar for Asian sisters and seekers?

It will become a portal to shape thoughts, guide feelings and share resources.

What do YOU think? 

Pls talk to me! I need help, encouragement and a team to get this going!


Thank you fellow woman.

my sisters + sister-in-law & me

WOW! Women of Wisdom

I just began mentoring four younger ladies. This is of course part of the surprising journey and privilege God has given me. 

Growing up not particularly proud of being a gal, God has definitely worked deep stuff within me...

And yes, we all know we long for something more lasting than physical beauty, intellectual prowess or dazzling vocational success. 

We long to be stable, rooted, wise. 

To have something to offer the world; a legacy of our deep, true, loved and free selves. The imprint we want to leave is an expression of the mark He has made on our hearts first. So we call ourselves the WOW! 

Lost Women ...of the Bible

Carolyn Custis James writes a nifty book about the identity and calling of women that goes beyond the standard stuff. She should know. As a good pastor's girl, she struggled when the usual stuff of life seem to pass her by: marriage and kids.

In this volume, she takes us through lesser and little talked about characters - from Mrs Noah to shady ones like Tamar. Even Hannah whom we know so well gets a fresh portraiture because Carolyn is a serious theologian. Her deft words and decisive scholarship brings these women to life and touches our hearts: the pain, dark, confusion and choices that confront us all as women.

Enjoy and rediscover!




The COMPETITION ...it starts too early these days...


These days i often notice that when my daughter comes across another pre-teen, they exchange quick glances - not at each other - but about each other.
Yes, they size each other up:
Dress?
pants?
Hair?
Shoes?


It takes a total heart change for us to see each other as persons, first and always.