How to keep on keeping on (part 1: be a bother)

I had thought it was an Asian thing. Then I lived for nearly a year in the US of A, and  I realized it's not just us Asians who hate to bother people. We may avoid it because of 'face'; but scratch beneath that and I suppose it reeks of weakness to ask for help; and who wants to be weak?

so many days, a slow trudge and so vulnerable...

Two years ago, I wrote this important piece about not being overwhelmed ; and as I re-read it, the power behind the simplicity of its message is easily missed:  

"This is the power I have: to gather up all that's a-tossed within my bosom and hand them over to the Prince of Peace."

But God has more for us.

The journey from here to heaven isn't just a God-and-I thing.

I am thinking a lot about community these days. Maybe it's because the children are growing and I have more freedom to get out. Maybe it's because this is my personal Jubilee year; that is nearly fifty years of taking up space on planet earth and more than forty for following Christ (in different shades and degrees over the years of course). 

I am thinking: how do we keep on keeping on without becoming numb, jaded, cynical, and maybe even lost + why does community matter?

So here is the first part of the answer I gathered.

Are you ready?

Part 1: be a bother.

You read that right. I did not say, be a brother (or sister), with the orientation to give out. But be a 'bother' with a need to take in, be helped, raised up.

I will tell you this, it's much harder for a pastor. But other than the title and the graces and gifts; I am another desperate human, full of failings and weaknesses just like every other Christ follower and human. I need help.

Practical help

Prayer help

Soul help

I want to be able to ask: can you please take the children for a day? And I am thankful to have one or two I can say that to once in a long while. When we were at Riverlife church, we were part of a cell group made up of young families. We knew how hard it was to bring home the bacon and raise children. I seriously thought of moving closer as most of them lived in Pasir Ris -- so that we can give some solid practical help to each other.

When my missionary friend travels, I ask if it's alright to call and chat with her mother, perhaps check in to see if she is doing alright.

There really is no reason for any Christian brother or sister to feel all alone. {I still do sometimes; so let's all work at this!}.

If you don’t yet know the power of prayer, try this: send out a WhatsApp as soon as you have a need. This is what I do for prayer help. I need prayer when we are in the thick of ministry and I am so grateful for my small WhatsApp group that prays promptly and solidly each time. I also WhatsApp a group of lady friends when PMS strikes or I am in the emotional doldrums. This kind of rapid, prayer shout-outs are so effective.

The moment the responses start coming in, my heart is bolstered and my faith strengthened.

Soul help is found in those who have journeyed further along. I get that from books and individuals. We need regular soul help from friends who 'get us' [to a greater degree than acquaintances], who share our passion, are willing to bear with us talking about our confusion or pain.  It is also essential to get soul help from a Spiritual Director or someone similar*. This is because the person doesn't really know you and it gives you the freedom to just talk about stuff. Good directors don't even need to know all the story - the Spirit helps the talking and the listening; and important bits that lead to truth and freedom will bubble to the surface.

I have found that when you are setting out to obey God, he sends this kind of help -- because if he doesn't, it's hard to find them! For example, as I look back at my life; writing has always been a big part of who I am. Yet I almost never took the route. It was a girlfriend who bothered to write to me one day and ask, "why don't you write more?".

After that, doors opened. Then a total stranger, an editor in the US asked me for an article and even paid me for it. These kinds of things are very important - they embolden you to take the next step! When I returned to Singapore, a publisher was keen to see if I have any work; helped me get to a writing workshop where I met three beautiful women who raved about my writing and have since become dear friends.

Go get yourself some help. Bother someone. You may bring out a gift or strength in them! Of course, people can say 'no' -- but more likely, you will be surprised to find how good God is to you really.

"...admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone." 

~ 1 Thessalonians 5v14

"Therefore, strengthen the hands that are weak and the knees that are feeble...so that the limb which is lame not be out out of joint but rather be healed" 

~ Hebrews 12v12

 *I offer Soul Help through Soul Conversations. Drop me an email at jennihuan@churchlife-resources.org to make an appointment. 

Related posts:
Doubts: the good, bad, and ugly
Seeking Faith
Faith & December
the gifts of faith, hope and love

December faith

A few things happening around this season conjured up this post.

December of course, is about Christmas - so a reckoning of faith, celebration, busyness.

It is also about a year coming to an end - so a reckoning of things done, and undone.

For me, it's also about remembering my mother and brother with whom i have no means, technologically or otherwise to connect with and actually chat with.

It's also a time when some venture forth across the borders to live differently and bring goodwill to others. My church had a team that went to Cambodia, many for the first time; and Cambodia of course is a nation still recovering from abject darkness, the years of recovering from it not unlike the pockmarked streets and the scorching sun: uneven and trying.

So this post is for:

> the mission trippers who witnessed such outrageous, unexplainable evil, rampant, chronic poverty, and lived with far less than you ever had....or those missing bits of yourself.... Your hearts breaking beyond your control.

> the parents, leaders & children who as 2015 closes are feeling exhausted, drained, disappointed.... Your hearts stone-heavy and barely able to register a different rhythm.

> For those who are a lil frantic over the festivities.... Your heart bobbing in waters of uncertainty: who to get gifts for, where to eat and more.

Here we are:

A broken and sick world

A slap-together, try-to/get-by life

A demanding season

This world,

This life

This season

Is exactly what Jesus enters into.

He did not visit, stop by, or hovered near. He entered it. 

God has never once left this world He made so beautiful; but to be sure we get it; Jesus comes in human form -- right into this madness, mess, morass, moral vacuum.

And his coming was heralded as God's GoodWill towards our kind. 

God desires good for us. And not just a good life of relative ease. But a life of His Goodness oozing forth from our pores even when we cannot see how and don't feel the least bit of it.

But - someone wants to fool us, pull the wool over our eyes, sidetrack us, set us back, defeat us.

He makes evil loom so large

He makes the journey feel so hard

He makes the glitter shine so bright

Yes, lose sight, lose steam, lose your steering wheel .... and drift... so that...

we are no threat to darkness for it has shrouded us and cowered our minds.

 we are not able to triumph for the hard realities of life have deflated us and maybe even embittered us.

 we are not sure what to focus on and pay a price for because there's so much we want and everything is clamouring, 'buy, try, taste, don't lose out!'.

"what is seen was not made out of what was visible" ~ Hebrews 11v3

There is a difference between what is seen and what is visible.

In the verse it refers immediately to God's creation work: He made things out of nothing - Ex nihilo they say it in Latin.

And doesn't it seem like nothing, non-existent, doggone impossible?

Can bones live?

Can a nation heal?

Can I make it through this long painful journey?

Can I release my grip on everything and cling only to Christ this Christmas?

This season of faith: being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see ~v1

Jesus stands before us, and asks, 

"What is frightening you?""What is draining you?""What is distracting you?"

Tell it to him. Then ask for a better picture.

The entire account in Hebrews 11 is of folks who saw a picture that wasn't apparent, obvious, ready. But they saw it and they acted and built their lives around it. That's faith.

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This season of faith: be more sure of what to hope for and be certain about.

2016 won't be the same.

Seeking Faith

Faith is not fluff ; but sometimes, it can feel like vapour. 
It is hard to grasp and hold on to.

Over my fish lunch today I hear a friend share her struggles and she asks, "how is it faith doesn't seem to make a difference here?".

You and I share the sentiment. In our own lives, we wish faith can shatter the dark like a hammer or else unlock a treasury of new possibilities so that we can step out of these old tired shoes we have been wearing and are cramping our feet. Sometimes faith seems so powerless; like when -

fear and doubt darken the corridors of our mind and we shut down a little
discouragement returns even as we just set our heart to move forward
persistent pain stares us daily as things remain unchanged for all our thumping on heaven's door

We look at ourselves.
We look at our spouses, children, situations, and we ask, "how can it be done?".

How does God's kingdom come and will get done in this world bent of breaking it all apart?
How does it happen, and will I be able to really spot it?
How do I make it last long enough to become a happily-ever-after?

When will night give way to day?
when will the flowers finally open to the sky and bloom?
when will we really make a difference - that lasts?

We look at ourselves. And we wonder, "where is my faith?"

and God whispers,

"Those are questions of a faith-filled heart. You have not lost faith. You have lost sight of what faith is built on."

Then I lift my eyes - and He continues,

"It has been done."

I get it.

The Cross and the Resurrection has done it: the deep reversal, the overturning, the upheaval.

We are in the season of the dust settling; so we see unclear.

And because it has been done; it will be done.

Those who see, such as St Paul records his sighting for us:

"...Christ is all, and is in all (and we God's people) are clothed with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience (where we are able to ) bear with each other and forgive whatever grievance..and put on love which binds us all together in perfect unity as the peace of Christ rules in our hearts...together with His Word so that we are able to teach and admonish one another with wisdom and praise God in song and psalm, with gratitude. 

Then everything we do - let it be directed towards Jesus!" 

~ Colossians 3v11-17 paraphrased, Jenni c.2014

Our part -

"..if you're serious about living this new resurrection life with Christ, act like it. 

Pursue the things over which Christ presides."

"Don's shuffle along, eyes to the ground, absorbed with the things right in front of you. Look up, be alert to what is going on around Christ - what's where the action is. See things from his perspective."

~ Colossians 3v1-2, The Message version

Looks like we need to train our eyes to look past the obvious. Help each other here: share the good stuff worth looking at can?

And each of us on a quest: the perfect mate, the great marriage, the dream job, the 'calling'... place them where they belong: personal ambition, fear-prompted, envy-triggered or is the quest really initiated by God and is your Father's heart for you?


And some serious effort here:

"throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles.."

 ~ Heberws 12v1, NIV

This week: what hinders you? What entangles and catches your feet so you stumble?

Share with us: fill a comment. You never know who you will lift up with what you share honest and faith-seeking.