Showing posts with label work. Show all posts
Showing posts with label work. Show all posts

17 May 2016

You are the best parents: Helping our children beat the competition {i mean the 'competition'}!

So in school they talk to our kids about work, jobs, the future.

My mighty teen as with most teens waffle every other month about what she wishes to do. Some days she's totally unsure of her own abilities and interests even. But the other day we had a conversation that surprised me. She talked about how the economy is changing and how there will be so much competition.

Knowing this isn't something we talk about, not in this way at home anyway, I knew she had been subject to some serious talking-to in school. She likes being a nice person and I could tell this notion sat uncomfortably with her.

In fact, it sits uncomfortably with me too!



Did God create a world of scant resources where we must fight, outwit, outstrip, even kill in order to live and thrive? This is not the narrative I read in the Book. Our economic model based on limited resources and unlimited wants may well be faulty. We all laugh at the basic premise of Economics: humans are rational; for clearly it's not so straightforward.

But not being fully rational isn't a bad thing. Idealism, altruism, selflessness all trump rationality (sorry for the unfortunate connection to the US elections; a clear case of irrationality of the bad kind by the way).


What do Airbnb, Uber, Queri and many ideas that are springing up to challenge the traditional economy have in common? Collaboration, sharing, and the maximizing of existing resources - why leave a home empty, a car unused, your well-worked out answers laying about when it can meet another's need, and in the process earn you a buck or more?

Of course, everyone joins the latest bandwagon because it's novel, exciting and promising. But I would like to believe that many are genuinely interested to share, to collaborate, and to better steward our resources. I would like to believe that we are maturing to grapple with the reality that the earth's resources are being plundered and our current economic model isn't sustainable; so we have to rethink our positions: perhaps like the child who realises that he actually has more varied toys to play with, and gain some friends along the way; when he shares his toys.




Of course, sharing both generates and depends on trust and goodwill. It also depends on appreciation. The more we appreciate what others are sharing and express our appreciation, the more we will cultivate the possibility of a new way of life.  But trust, goodwill and appreciation can be the true scarce commodity. So it isn't for everyone, sadly.


Speaking of appreciation, today I expressed appreciation to a school principal, a teacher, a businessman and a doctor. Each of them found it hard to respond to the appreciation. Even a simple "thank you" wasn't readily forthcoming. Perhaps it just doesn't happen enough. We expect people to do their job (they are paid for it after all) and that's that.

So the road to new ways of living that may help us as a civilization isn't going to be an easy one. The old message of competition is too hardwired into our consciousness; and is a lived reality for many who have been dislodged by it and suffer daily with indignity, abuse, neglect, and inadequacy.


The old economy's mantra is one of competition. When we look at others as competitors we must beat them; and it works against the grain of trust, vulnerability and community.

cool right? at the mighty teen's school

Singapore is known to be kiasu and kiasi (the double whammy of fearing to lose out and to die) and our national narrative is evolutionary theory's heartbeat: survival of the fittest. There is certainly plenty of evidence to bear out the theory of survival in kingdom anmialia, I do think that homo sapiens have far more within us.

So this is what I told my teen.

"Why don't you think in terms of the contribution you would like to make? What difference would you like to see in others' lives, and in our society or world? What abilities do you now have and what else do you need?"

I happen to have a younger child who loves to win. Competition would be second nature to him. But I can easily see how that slides into an unhealthy view of others. I read somewhere that we should teach our child to compete against themselves. This means that winning is overcoming their personal odds and mastering themselves. I love this approach far better.

What do you think will happen if parent our children differently then? To compete against their own selves; to collaborate with others, and to live their lives as a contribution.


related posts:
3 anchors for our children's future
future ready?

scripture references:

Ecclesiastes 4v4 "I have seen that every labour and every skill which is done is the result of rivalry between a man and his neighbour. This too is vanity and striving after wind."

Ecclesiastes 5v18: "Here is what I have seen to be good and fitting: to eat, to drink and enjoy oneself in all one's labor in which he toils under the sun during the few years of his life which God has given him; for this is his reward."




28 Nov 2011

The CHORE-deal Log

Day TWO.
Abi is still complaining about how many chores she has compared to her five+year younger than her brother. But she moves it swiftly when told and true to her early childhood training does a decent job (trainer mom takes a bow).

Dad who self assigned dishes hit them with enthusiasm, washing up when breakfast wasn't over! Guess he had to leave already...

Mom has taken a deep breath and postponed the sweeping, opting for laundry (to catch the sun) and fixing lunch...after clearing the other half of breakfast of course.

Lil Keith left after breakfast to an unwelcome Chinese enrichment camp..and we have to wait and see where that leads him emotionally!


What is the value of manual work to you?

"The LORD GOd took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and take care of it."

So, it isn't exactly Paradise Lost when we need to wash, wipe, scrub, fix and ... *wink

31 Jan 2008

kid talk

I dont brag about it but i am immensely proud of my two year old's growing voabulary. of course, most words come out rather weakly enunciated - but hey, the guys' only TWO!
He just got up from his nap and snapped out of his drpwsy stupor when he heard the whirr of blades! His favourite guys around the neighbourhood are near....those noisy grass-cutters. if he was wearing a kilt he would have hitched them as he scurried tot he window, saying 'hurry, hurry'..
wait a minute. i taught my son 'hurry'? o dear...here am i, convinced life is going by too fast, making deliberate efforts to slow down -- and my son is saying 'hurry!!!'. Hm.
i hope life values transcend vocabulary.

speaking of kids, a young lady was visiting with me and since she is involved in sociological research, i eagerly asked if she knew what contributed to the fact that young children and even infants in Singapore go to bed at hours that defy logic. i have actually seen less than year-old children being carried home, wide-eye at 11pm, probably after the day at grand's or nanny's !
My question is: we are subjecting our kids to our work schedule. In Singapore work comes first really....

31 Dec 2007

What?! NO work?

I got a call from a older woman in my profession one day. It was to talk shop (of course). Since i felt some connection with her, I ventured to share that I will be quitting work at year's end. I appreciate her concern, but her immediate, snap response to me was: what are you going to do?
Do-ing is such a huge part of our lives that i guess my plan to stop work sounds really airy at best. Yes, what am i going to DO indeed?!
Actually there's plenty being done all the time - waking to the day, talking to a neighbour, feeding a stray, reading a good book, writing to waive that parking fine (haha), minding the kids...caring for the older ones... but i guess these are not 'jobs'.
She immediately offered me a position with the attendant, 'grab it while it's good' overtures.
I have never been worried about not finding something to do; being paid for it is another story!!
But so far Providence has seen to it that i have enough to get by. So at the nudge of Grace, I have chosen to be job-less - and I have already heard a mighty chorus of protestations....from within me and around me.
I have a fear of heights so looking down the rungs of my vocational ladder to find my feet to climb down was rather giddying and very unsettling.

Perhaps the relentless whirr of hard work Singapore style tires you too. You may not need to get off; but I would highly recommend getting away some. Detach yourself a little more in the new year from your work.
I am more than my work.
You are more than your work!