still applicable: wrote this in 05

Entering 2005, nearing 40..

How did our world become so broken?

Every which way I turn, I confront brokenness: lives embittered and hardened struggling to go on – with busyness, with alcohol, with apathy. Lifeless marriages and listless youths ensnared in the unending downward spiral of unmet expectations and confused emotions.
[08 update: in the month of January i befriended two mothers with woes in marriage and children. serious woes.]

We are a generation that can eat a global spread but remains hungry for the next new sensory experience. We are a generation that can learn at byte-speed but remain directionless. We are a generation that cares for the body with extreme extravagance but remain sick in our hearts.
[08 update: see for yourself]

And, now, suddenly, an earthquake - and - tsunamis – and some we love are lost without a trace. Others we could not care less about disappear into oblivion it seems. In the thousands! It seems even our physical world is in travail.
[08: thankfully only hard hitting rains and a strange chill so far]

We long for harmony, a zen-like quiet within and outside us. But Life has a way of shocking us. God has a way of shaking us out of our stupor of endless vanities and chasing after the wind. There are troubles within. There are troubles outside.

Desperate, i turn to God’s word for solace. Sometimes I come away with greater understanding. But mostly, I come away humbled by the awesome greatness of God and drop to my knees again to repent of the stubborn sins that are both private and universal: like trying to live the way we want. Like trying to gratify our desires without regard for others, and the environment. Like loving so badly and poorly…when people are what matters most.

Even as I write, there is a strong wind howling about. It reminds me of the fire of the Spirit of God that can blow and show up the hollowness in us that makes the wind shriek and curl in howls. O puny person, humble yourself. There is much you cannot control, engineer, conceive, anticipate. This is Life: God’s design – full of surprises that enthrall and also frighten – the gift of God’s breath; to be lived with, not apart from the God who gave it in the first place.

the loving and gay thing to do?

i sent this into our national paper, The Straits Times after one correspondent wrote about how his lesbain friends were to him 'model citizens' and suggested that if singapore wants to be a global city, she must be more tolerant and accept gays.

Subject: the loving thing to do

I am married and have kids; a girl and a boy. Both marriage and raising children are hard work.

The funny thing is Devan’s friends seem to have it all. What a sweet picture he has painted of his lesbian friends. Interestingly, they are high achievers with, I would suspect, quite a bit of money on their side. Artificial insemination is no polyclinic deal. I am not sure what bases Devan uses to hold up his friends (they sure sound impressive) as model citizens either. If having a partner, a job and kids; paying taxes, and being religious is it; Singapore is full of model citizens really.

While the verdict is not yet out on the genetic basis for homosexual tendencies; there is ample evidence that gender differences have genetic foundations that began in utero. I have a daughter and a son. My method of child-raising is not gender based; but voila, they are simply different. Just watch my girl pat the cat and my son (er..) pat the cat!

The argument for love is always so winsome. In our world so torn by conflict, violence and violation; we all long for love. Unfortunately, love is interpreted as being tolerant. The question is who gets to determine what is considered tolerant? Will we be more liberal if we tolerated incest, under-age marriages, cohabitation, blended families and so on? Tolerance is a poor substitute for love and peace. True love and peace is not no-holds-barred. No parent in the right mind can raise children, no society can run and persist, no great ideas can blossom – if all we have is free rein.

Yes there is much that is wrong in our world. But the loving thing to do is to embrace the broken-ness and work for the healing. I believe that the broken-ness of our world has its origins within each one of us. Perhaps if we can embrace ourselves – not just as egos; but as belonging to something larger; that in our interdependent world, our choices impact others, we can think deeper and harder about life and our choices. Perhaps if we can embrace ourselves – and see that from alcoholism, to violence to sexual tendencies – we are all spots on a huge continuum – and yet each one of us has much to offer the world. Perhaps if we can embrace ourselves – and see our lives as gifts to each other; and not get fixated in the game of tit-for-tat; limiting ourselves to only a certain vision of life….perhaps…