My own
journey to my feminine self, speaking to many and walking with individuals over
the last decade – deepened my conviction that we need 3 S’s; each one of us.
But these 3 S’s cannot be bought or earned. Instead, they become ours when we are able to receive. And this-is-hard for most of us.
We are
natural care-givers, community builders, romantics at heart. We bring
beauty, colour and energy to homes, relationships, tasks. But precisely so, we often find it hard to
receive. After all, who gives? Everyone takes.
Plus if we
scrub harder; we find that all our giving is a seeking – we want attention,
approval, affection, affirmation.
She’s so
thoughtful
What a
gorgeous dress
So gifted
How do you
do it?
We want the 3 S/s: self-worth, security, significance.
Self-worth
is of course now a famous make-up tagline: because you’re worth it! But they
get it wrong. A hundred dollar bill will not cease to be worth a hundred dollar
even if it got wet, wrinkled and lightly torn. This is the nature of worth. But
we live in presentation culture. Recently, the world found its largest gem. It
was discovered by a little African girl. The gem however is not hers though she
found it. L' Incomparable the diamond is now worth a whopping 55mil -- because
of the process of clarity it underwent and the bejeweling to set it for
presentation + all the marketing it generated. I wonder if anyone rewarded that
little girl anything decent. In our market culture then, even if we are worth
anything, we must showcase this worth with skincare and make up.
A short
line from a Taiwanese drama I saw as a little girl has somehow stayed with me. In it
two girlfriends were talking – about men. One of them was explaining her choice
of man: “he can give me security” (he was the richer option). But can he, truly? Security is elusive as
long as we are counting on fallible humans to supply us with it. People change, economies crash, love turns
cold.
Some 980 million women and children live below the poverty line. Their dreams are basic. If they
want to be noticed; it’s because they don’t want to miss any handouts. But for
many of us who never ever really worry about staying alive; we who have clambered
up Maslow’s pyramid; we crave the attention that will proclaim, “she’s really
something!”.
Worth.Security.Significance.
We simply
cannot live without them. So we will find them – somehow.
Unless ~
There is a
way that they come to us – as whispers from beyond, gifts that turn up at our
door....
The
birthday surprise {I am worth celebrating}
The words
that reassure {I am supported and defended}
The way we
fight for our children {I make a difference}
Life offers
us moments when we can choose to believe afresh that we have worth, are secure
and have significance. But life also throws us all about and all of it can
become gnarled and shredded.
So I dig
deeper and track further to find a more steady spring of wellness… to that ~
“spring of
living water, the cistern that holds water”
Jeremiah 2v13
