Turn your Isolation into a Gift: Quiet Morning

Isolation is hard.

While some joke about how this time of distancing and staying home suits Introverts, the truth is we all need meaningful connection.

And possibly the most meaningful connection to have is with oneself and with God.

Too many people are strangers to themselves - what makes them tick, why some things perturb them so much, what can help them move forward, how to stop the endless loops...

Too many who claim faith struggle to trust God - the Unseen One.

This is why (and thanks to friends who egged me on) I am making

Quiet Morning 

more widely available.

I realise that the simple decision to set aside time, to lean towards Being rather than Doing, to slow down and open our entire selves before God and to relish a morsel of truth is so transformative.

I hope many will join this and experience something we do desperately need in this world: peace within ourselves, peace with God... which enables us to become peacemakers - and this Pandemic has shown us how far from peace: creation damage, discrimination, weak healthcare systems, mangled political realities that hurt the poor and weak...

In God's mercy, He has sent Light so we also do see good being done by many during this Pandemic. But overall and understandably, this has also aroused a sense of PAN(dem)IC.

I would admit that it has not been easy. Different ones of us find different parts of it hard. From work to family life, to developing fastidious hygiene habits and ensuring that there are groceries... it is easy to go overboard with the news, go under the sense of helplessness, go round and round with all that needs to be done! Even as one who has worked from home for so long, I find this prolonged season of unfolding bad news wearisome.

This made me believe that all the more, we have to seek out space to calm our fears, understand what is going on and sow into a way of life that can bear much fruit both now and in the future.

I believe in a Life-giving God, who painfully allows this to awaken us to what Life is truly about, and is drawing us towards a way of life that will be more peaceful, truthful and bountiful.



As I started this post, I saw a picture of a seed.

Photo by Artur Łuczka on Unsplash

Unless we stop to think of it, it's easy to forget that a seed is so full of promise and potential. In each seed is the possibility of an Orchard!

But the seed must endure isolation, loneliness, and apparent death, to all it has known. It needs to be broken open, risk, to allow it's generative ability to play out as it lets go, endures a change and stretches towards the sun.

Yes, this feels like a season of great loss, and I do not diminish the real loss of jobs and security  that many do face. But it can be a good and necessary loss, one that if we are willing to endure may lead us to a way to both empathise and act on behalf of those who are at the brink of losing everything.



It is also a season of wilderness. All our highways are empty and streets and squares are quiet*...and we feel collectively sent out into the wilderness where things are stripped down to a sense of survival.

But again, this imagery and experience holds another dimension. The wilderness in Scripture is a very special, appointed place for divine exchange. It is where Abraham encounters God the Promise Maker,  Moses gets his commission and experiences God as the Deliverer, where countless battles are fought and won... and where Jesus drew the line of his ultimate loyalty to God his Father.

Down through the ages, the wilderness is sought by those who are spiritually serious. We have to learn to welcome it as God brings it. For He is there waiting, for us to show up,

If you dare get up and go forth to meet God, you will find that His Word is true, powerful and even accurate, and you will also meet and know yourself much better.

And my dear friend, we need you in our world.


I have much more to share, but for now, this should suffice.

Here, would you take a look at this:

Facebook Video

Then, I hope you will hop over to this page to get started: Quiet Morning Details



*Empty now: a 5 min video of major cities today

Do you really want to live the way you do? A small shift can be seismic.

Rare is the person who is fully contented, at peace with every tiny bit of life's details, and enjoying every relationship. 

Not rare, impossible.

A life is a very full and complicated thing. On our own, we have to relate to our body, wrestle with our emotions, figure our thoughts and make countless decisions big and small. With others, we have to negotiate relationships, learn protocols and expectations, improve communication, enforce boundaries. Then there is God. That's just huge. While it's certainly true that our relationship with God trumps and shapes all other relationships, we are mired in a compulsive avoidance of God, preferring the safety of religious motions to true encounter.

Now plonk this person in a busy, fast-paced city like Singapore with a spirit of FOMO (fear of missing out), most of us are running on a nervous energy that makes it hard to slow, still and savour.

Just describe to me what your last meal tasted like. It's hard for most of us (unless it was burnt or Michelin-star perhaps). 

I once asked a class of students the colour of the wall right outside their room. They couldn't tell me. It was a startling orange hue of red! 

We see, notice, feel and taste astonishing little with our pace and our lack of inner space.

So my three weeks away in Minnesota gave me a blessed reprieve from busy city-living with all its clamorous noises and demands. {more pictures here: scenes from Minnesota}

When I return, as we all do from some trip, you get those who will say with a wry smile, "welcome back to reality".  I really dislike that phrase because it feels like escapism. A retreat, a vacation or a study break should not be escapism. They are meant to be a break from the routine so that we can come back stronger. To simply long for a different life is escapism. To intentionally shape one's life however, is not.

Yes, life in Minnesota was a sweet, different reality, one that suited me especially as I began my writing project on silence. But my life is here in the city, in Singapore, with a busy schedule, growing children, a marriage that needs patience and work, words that need to be thought and written, dreams that need to be deciphered.

I am deeply grateful for a different reality for three weeks.  But whether Minnesota or Singapore, the place I inhabit is my body and soul. This is why two people can go to a same place and describe their experience of it in vastly different ways. The two will notice, enjoy and find meaning or not, depending on the state of their body and soul, the latter being the more important force.

Minnesota refreshed me deeply because the ease with which I adapted to the long, empty hours, affirmed that my body and soul were not attached to, or addicted to plenty of do-ing, being busy and appearing successful. This adaptability I put down to several reasons. One is the long years of learning to live simply.

Simplicity is a powerful gale force that strips us down to the essentials.

Simplifying makes us answer the deep questions of life:

What do i really need?
Where do I see value?
How much am I willing to pay (in money, time, effort) for this?

In our land of glaring consumerism, and with 24/7 wifi, it is too easy to become distracted and fill up my attention, time and energy with 'one more useful/handy/beautiful thing'. We actually should speak up as citizens that our spaces are overwhelming crowded with shops and pushcarts plying more or less the same wares. It is an assault to our senses and an insult to our sensibilities. We are far more than working machines and insatiable consumers.

It isn't just material things either. We are so fed with perfect images and sound bytes that it is easy to expect our emotions to be positive, push our bodies to be breathtaking and work that bit longer.

If your body is constantly tired and your soul feels breathless, then it is time to make a shift somewhere. It is time to simplify. 

Speaking of simplifying, consider its reverse. The Americans are pretty fanatical about tool-man-ship. They need to have the right tools for every task. Garlic peeler? Four kinds of staplers? Sixty ways for mobility? A different scissor for kitchen, kid, teen and adult (ok I exaggerate perhaps). My sister-in-law, now an American concurs, and so does my American friend I pointed this out to. I love it that in Asia, we have this ingenuity of using a knife to cut, smash, pry, poke, peel. Hey, it works. Simplify.

Let's give ourselves to things that are deeper and more enduring. 

We need more time to care for our bodies in a way that is not fussing over the latest supplement or treatment.

We need more space to care for our soul that is not wondering if we should be running off to another seminar or study.

Jesus: consider the lilies...

the daily squirrel

my spartan office

Simplifying is a small step with seismic effects.

When we can walk slower and notice the environment and really look at faces.
When we can taste our food and marvel at the miracle that is cooking, eating and growing.
When we can take deep breaths and pause at intervals through the day because we are not over-worrying about all the details.
When we can feel good and smile that the blouse has now become like second skin.
When we can experience that we actually finish a conversation {yes, this!}.
When we no longer need to spend so much time cleaning, packing, hunting for items in our bags, cupboards and storerooms.

When you need less, you release more of yourself and your resources.

This means more:

money

attention

energy

possibilities

awareness

There are two sides to this journey to living a different life. As we simplify, we release more resources. We can then use these resources in a different way.

What is something you can do less of or something you can stop needing?

establish a boundary

One of the things I really want for my family is great communication and laughter. This takes time. It also means a certain state of being (which isn't easy with a boy who grumbles about school and a teen who needs a lot of time on her smartphone). 

How do we cough up the time, and set the tone? Clearly, someone has to take point here. In any setting, a leader is required. Leadership after all, is about getting people from Point A to Point B, with them happily moving along as if the ideas was theirs! 

So I lead the way. By simplifying my own life, I free resources to dream and scheme about this aspect of our family life. The most natural spaces and times for great communication and laughter I find are meals and bedtime. I simplify those times by focusing less on the eating and more on the conversations. I don't always get it right (which mom doesn't fuss over getting everyone to eat right?). We don't always succeed. But small bit by small bit, experiences become habits that turn around to shape the sense of meaning and to build memories.

What is something you long for at home? How can simplifying enable you to build towards it?

Please share below in the comments!

Related reads:
Travel notes from a trip to the NZ
Yearning for true home

If you need ideas to keep you on track to simplifying: Becoming Minimalist

What I need to start a new year

What's the first thing you feel about 2016?

Or perhaps like me, you haven't even wrapped your head around 2015!

If you are kinda hazy about 2015; it's totally understandable.

We had the worst haze ever which made us wonder how our neighbourly relations will be in the days ahead. Our ruling party swept back into power and we wonder if it will be more of the same. To our North, while some are cashing in on the Ringgit's falling value, we know that an unstable situation will hurt us for we have trade ties for water, chicken and vegetables! Moving outwards, the larger world was on fire with violence, earthquakes and mass migrations. A news commentary says the more than million refugees flooding into Europe will redefine her forever. The USA Supreme court legalised gay marriages introducing obsolescence to our standard notion of 'family'.

The Straits Times calls it Epic Change & Upheaval.

It is clear that our world will never be the same again. What has changed still waits to unfold.

On the home lawns, I was deeply saddened to hear a young woman tell me about a divorce lawyer sweeping her arm across the vast shelves behind her to point out how many divorce cases she handles. Friends tell me they are struggling to find work. Parents raising children are wondering what 21st century-skills they need.

The word 'hurtling' keeps coming back to me.

:  to move rapidly or forcefullytransitive verb

What does one do when things seem to be moving inexorably, whizzing by and you are barely clutching on for dear life?

I reach for something that will hold on to me in case my holding on isn't strong enough.

"do not let your hearts be troubled...trust in God..." ~ John 14

Jesus tells us to trust because -

"I am going to prepare a place for you" ~v2

" I will come back and take you to be with me" ~ v3

"I am the way, the truth and the life.." ~v6

"You may ask for anything in my name, and I will do it" ~v14

"..the Father will give you.. to be with your forever - the Spirit of truth" ~v16


The comfort, assurance and strength we have lies in:
* a promise of a certain future
* a way to get there
* provision along the way
*help we need for the journey; to know the truth and live in it.

Wow.

in any language, we need it

Jesus reminds us, 

"Peace I leave with you...Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid" ~v27

Notice that last bit: do not be afraid.

O yes, we are so easily frightened. Will prices go up? Will their grades drop? Will my work be received? Can we maintain our lifestyle? Will terrorists make it to our shores? Will Singapore continue to prosper? Will my heart give up?

my fear of heights holds me back from one of these!

Don't; don't be afraid.

For fear holds us hostage and makes us less than who we are. Instead, let us drink deep of the peace and comfort given; so like the Psalmist we can say,

"I will have no fear of bad news; my heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD." ~ 112v7

This is what I need for 2016. What about you?



Friends, an old song to start your new year off on the right note?

My Peace I Give To You - Jesus  {click to enjoy}

1. 
   

a thousand lights that won't lead us home.. but one that will : Christmas peace friends!

Every year, the main shopping belt in Singapore gets lit-to-the-max. Yes, it is Christmas, the season for shops and retailers to cast a wide net and gather a huge catch. Lights help here: those glorious baubles, stars, 3D castles, machine-generated snow... the gold, blue, red, diamante colours.

It is a beautiful and enchanting sight that lifts the soul, if for a few moments, to some higher plane of wonder, delight, and relish.

Yes, we even call in those arctic creatures, the reindeer to help rein in the crowds and gamely remind them of the ho-ho of it all - the goodness of giving and receiving.

Perhaps these lights draw us in and lift us because we are afraid of the dark and darkness. Which one of us has not had a frightful experience with that? The child begs for the light to stay on for monsters lurk in the dark. When we cannot see, our minds run a lil' wild.

But there are lights, and there are lights.

Leaving a lil night light is helpful enough, but there are lights we torch that can hurt us ~

...all you who light fires and provide yourselves with flaming torches,
go, walk in the light of your fires and of the torches you have set ablaze.
This is what you shall receive from my hand: you will lie down in torment.   

~ Isaiah 50v11

Major ouch.

A lack of peace,
a turning and a tossing,
a fearful anticipation.

fretting over gifts (we hope to have and wish to give)
worrying we may forget someone 'important'
feeling still angry, even hating
knowing deep within we are unforgiven and unforgiving
lonely
afraid as the days are turning into a new year and your plans are drafts

For everyone single one of these we may well have some plan, answer or defense made ready.
But our little torches of how to answer and 'don't dwell on it' won't suffice to get us to experience the angelic announcement over this season: peace on earth and goodwill to man.

You have no idea how much light you need if you won't consider how dark it can get.

No one brings a toy torch light or a half-filled gas lamp for a camping trip in the wilderness.The dark will soon overtake and it will be futile. We are camping for a while in a wide wilderness, en route home. Yes, we can build a campfire in this case. But sometimes. the journey takes us to deserts and strong winds and all we have is sun, moon and stars. The Bedouins learn to rest when it's too hot to travel and navigate by moonlight and stars.

But we? We just push on. City folk with our days made long by artificial light, our sense of prowess and control reiterated to us with every successful sale, every goal attained, every relationship milked. We push on. When we are not sure, we look inside our bag for another torch to light the way.

All this while, the darkness can be encroaching upon us. We wake up and we are shocked at the world news. What has our world come to?!

Christmas is God entering this world engulfed in darkness and piercing the dark to let in the Light.

The storytellers are right: it is an epic battle of dark and light.

A battle out there,yes, but really, it begins inside us. Each of us.

How about this Christmas we let the smaller lights remind us of the Great Light.

Jesus said,

I am the Light of the world, whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life. ~ John 8v12

In the wild as in the desert, no one travels alone. You file up and you want to make sure you follow a trustworthy guide. Jesus offers to lead us, to light the way. He invites us to fall in step.

Stop dashing around. Stop ignoring your heart's cries, aches and longings. The caverns of our soul is a huge space for Light to enter and shine around - as the darkness flees.

This Christmas, amid all the lights and sights, how about slowing down and sitting with Jesus, rest from the heat of the day and talk about your heart; and invite the Light in.

Peace on earth, goodwill to man - - because peace in us, goodwill to you!

Traveler's Views and Notes

~ an expensive trip for a frugal soul

the last two years we made long, costly trips. in 2012 i felt we needed to visit my brother in the USA. thankfully we did and enjoyed precious memories together: trying to ski, sitting by the fireplace, talking about the American elections, and most of all, the late night talks between us, about God. I still remember praying for snow for my son who has never seen that most magical sight: a snowfall. and just an hour before we needed to ride to the airport; there they came, floating down, gently at first! we grabbed our coats and dashed out the house to dance about in the falling of water in most beautiful forms! Hope seemed to bounce about us.

last june, i made a similar trip - but to bid him adieu from this side of heaven. a very different trip - back to the same lovely house of his on his sprawling yard; but this time it was sorting things out, crying, some laughing and as the family members poured in, food and more food; and more tears even as Grace wrapped around us and wove some fresh bonds.

earlier this year, the hubs and i while talking realised we never ever did have what is called a 'sabbatical'. still, we were grateful for the many pit-stops over the years to refuel and stay sane. then we thought, why not go to the one place we both love alot; and now that the kids are older, they will appreciate it more. New Zealand. Land of seas, sounds and sheep! 

but as i began to plan, i struggled. drawing out money to pay for trip to be with people we love makes sense to me. going on a trip just to enjoy ourselves felt so indulgent; especially when i am still learning Jesus' heart for the poor. i felt this strange conflict brewing in me. i wasn't sure where to place the line. my children have asked me before, "are we rich?". at first, my answer was "no". we were not rich by Singapore standards, when compared with many of our peers. But then, more recently, i have told them we are; because more than 80% of the world live with less than $10 a day.

so i kept checking back with the hubs our budget. can we really do this? 

we did it. we paid a tidy sum to-just-rest. it seems rather silly; but this is the state of our world. it tires

 us out so much. 

we skipped around animal poo on farms and talked with llamas, deer, sheep, chickens, ducks, seals, dogs, cats.. we drove or sat in an 11-hour train journey and went ooo and aah over the endless stretches of sea, rolling tussocks, sheep and cattle. we cooked and ate when we were hungry and basked in the long summer hours, exploring lakesides and glaciers. it was a lot of fun! we felt so enlivened to be so immersed in the beauty and power of creation. 

i had told the children why we are taking the trip: that we have both love the vast land; that there will be plenty for them to experience, that we will build great memories. i had reminded them of the expense and our values of not wasting and although i had thought to give some a little pocket change to spend; in the end, they both held back and didn't spend a cent on purchases! we came back just with ourselves, fattened by our wonderful experiences.

despite my inner struggle with the cost, amid the fears of spending alot and not getting a good return, the real and present danger of having to manage little tiffs and skirmishes of the heart..this was a trip held by Peace.

it was not so much about going away to get; but a making time and space to go deeper into something God had been seeking to deposit in our lives. Some times, we have to break our rhythms and even escape the scene to see and feel God's gifts deep enough they enter our beings.

At one point, i felt as if God himself stood between me and all my questions and anxieties and shielded me from the raucous soul-noises and just let me en-joy. a true vacation is one where you vacate the scene and just be.

and like the waters that are still reflect all the grandeur and beauty here, a quieted soul can take in the light and shape of all that is around and let them express without distorting them as rushing waters would.

~ wow, we did that?

i have a fear of heights while the hubs gets sick from motion. but i mounted a horse that must have been twelve hands tall and we took a small ski plane up to walk on snow upon ice! a lot of the time we felt too cold than we were used to; but mostly the weather permitted us to drive safely and enjoy the activities we did.

at mount cook, we were told the winds could get so strong that once the hotel windows all blew in and crashed. the hotel is solid reinforced steel and quite metallic and ugly-looking in order to survive the wild winds that come with such virgin territory. for the four little Singaporeans dizzy with delight? we had that "one fine, fantastic day" to fly out into the mountains the guide told us. 

young explorers at mount cook

without very precise planning {as i am not capable of it}  - we had moved in car, train, ship, horseback and on foot. we had lived in the city, in a monastery cradled in a valley, next to the sea, in the mountains and in a forest with deers around us!

Sometimes it's the journey that teaches you a lot about your destination ~ Drake.

Travel well friends!

Journey to the never dried-up Well #9

I have begun reading Isaiah to re-encounter Jesus who shall soon suffer, die and rise triumphant.

In my younger days, I dreaded to touch the pages of prophetic writ; all that fire, fierce anger, judgment... But now, I have lived longer and I see how accurate the words are.

The contrast in  -
judgment and mercy
anger and longing
desolation and life
destruction and perfection

Soul, it is easy to feel lost in our world of contrasts. It is easy to feel wedged between the hard places of our many burdens and our need for rest. It is easy to become overwhelmed by the sights, sounds and suggestions. It is easy to lose our way, to become alarmed, to be fearful.

Today, may this song - true to the Word, filled with images true to our world, and yet carried by a peaceable, anointed melody wash you over and may these closing words of the prophet bring you strength ~

"I will extend peace to her like a river..." {66v12} 

Be not afraid {click here for song}

Journey to the never dried-up well #4

Welcome. This is our fourth stop, and as I look over our journey, something emerges.

When we encounter Jesus: each time you read, pause, go away to a 'closet' place to be -- Jesus steps out from our hazy ideas to a become a solid, real Presence and Person who has much to offer our hungry, thirsty hearts.

word & truth

Our first stop was a well, a most natural spot to quench our thirst.
In John 4, we have a record of a woman who went to a physical well and met the Spring of Living Water himself. Her story shows us the transforming power of a heart-set-free: she had come to the well at noon to avoid the town gossips, to just get her water and go. Her life was far from alright; she has been in a string of relationships where rejection and desertion has been the theme {over the years, I have met many women who indeed live with such themes. So real-ly painful}.

Yet -

after Jesus reaches into her heart, she leaves that well and announces to her fellow villagers - the same people she wants to avoid - that "he told me everything about my life".  What a strange thing to say. Unlike anything or anyone she has ever met or known, Jesus' chat with her was so filled with truth and acceptance that she felt he embraced her life so that now her story is no longer one that needs to be hidden.

Jesus helped her see her life in a whole new light; so that she is now able to claim her life and be at peace with it. Her life is not a fearful, foregone conclusion, but a faith-refreshed, forward possibility.

She found the water that reached deep into her parched, desperate soul.  As she is deeply refreshed, it begins to spring forth to refresh others ~

"Come see a man who told me all the things that I have done, this is not the Christ is it?"

John 4v29

your truth

How has this journey been? I am recently keenly aware that my questions and struggles signal that there are bits of my life I am not at peace with. 

Perhaps you too need not fear taking your long list of pains, regrets and questions to Jesus. You may even beat about the bush like the woman at the well did; talking about history and theology...but Jesus will lovingly and firmly lead the conversation to its heart. 

At some point, when we get to our desperation and humbly acknowledge it, "give me this water.." Jesus may well ask us the one question that cuts through everything and lifts the fog -- so we can see why peace escapes us.

We can then gaze long into the eyes of the Prince of peace and feel his peace flood our beings, our sense of confidence, worth, and destiny refreshed...and indeed, long to refresh others.

more truth with community

As you take time these few days to sit with Jesus, anticipate refreshment! Please share your experience with us. We would be so encouraged to hear your story!

a morning and evening Psalm

I reverse the sequence. Psalm 5 is a morning Psalm; 4 is an evening prayer.

Psalm 5~ 
v11 -  JOY for all who take refuse in You,
endless songs of gladness!

that's verse 11 though -and we get to verse 11 in our days. But often, with the many things we carry upon our shoulders and in our hearts, we wake up dreary with verse 1's 'listen to my cry for help!'. And it's a good way to begin the day: set our sights on the One and 'lay our case before him' (v3) to call to mind who God is - One who does not delight in perversion and injustice but will act decisively against such perpetrators. So the morning prayer quietens down to this

'lead me, make your way plain' (v8),

 and a sobering reminder that YHWH is the one who will protect for his favour works like a shield. (v12).


Psalm 4~
is an end-of-day time with God. And o how we know that even as we worked and wished and wrestled through our day, we often come face to with one more 'w' -weariness. So the question before us:

'how long will you be heavy of heart,

why love what is vain and chase after illusions?'

and i ask to be shown what vanities have captured my attention, what crazy notions have become so important to me? Prone to wonder and wander, to want to define our path... figure out our itinerary... we do it so well with travel plans and career and even relationships perhaps --  but somehow, life at large escapes us. Our success in the pieces don't set in place a clear picture of peace. Vanities and illusions abound.

indeed,

'many keep saying, who will put happiness before our eyes?' (v6)

for we sure cannot quite see it!

And we can carry all the questions, regrets, longings deep into our being and act out of them- lashing in anger, accusing others of letting us down, rehearsing our hurts.. So,
'be careful not to sin'
The Bible honestly acknowledges this reality that we are often conflicted and unsure...but teaches us

'on your beds keep silence'

which relates to a word given more than thousand years later:

'do not let the sun go down on your anger, do not give the devil a foothold' (Eph 4v26)

and i wonder: could it be that when we sleep we are vulnerable; and our enemy gladly enter through any breaches in trust. Our unresolved, un-rested  hearts and worried minds are gaps and welcome openings to him; so over time, it just gets easier for him to keep coming back and tormenting us over those same things. Do we feel a rut, an inability to grow, a repeated trend? Perhaps there is a need to quiet, slow, repent and let the One come and seal those gaps. Again, and again.

The greatest marvel of it all is limited man can know and enjoy unlimited transcendent GOD

' to my heart You are a richer joy than all..' (v7).

LORD lead us to This Delight. In your Mercy, hear my prayer.