From the food we are served to the air of our society, we have and frequently air many grouses. To criticise really is no genuis' work. All it needs is for you to have an opinion; and we all have opinions - they can be a repeat of some other opinion or a little more layered with more of our self thrown in. Criticism is easy.
Then there is critiquing. This is harder as it requires that you have some basis and ground for pointing out the gaps and sticking contrary ideas to holes you find in a situation. Again in our day of self-importance and information overload, we think ourselves very clever when we do this.
But so far, none of these really make for real engagement and change.
Like when my son's kindergarten teacher said after my son cheerily greeted her, "Why such a nice greeting...but in class, move here move there...". I acquiesced. But now I am pretty mad about it. What has she done?
Based on her preference for order in class and perhaps some training she has about structure and learning, she has criticised and critiqued (?) my son but done nothing more. He is not built up, encouraged or aided to further insight.
I am not saying we coddle our children and protect them from the truth. But, how about moving on to Creative Construction? In this instance, the teacher can see the child as a 'problem' or as a 'gift' for her to grow her teaching++ abilities.
She can resist relying on her knee jerk response and sinking into her preferences to see that as the adult she can take charge and bring change positively if she wins the child's affection and attention.
Likewise, for many of us, complaning is the norm. Creative construction is hardly ever considered. How can we take charge, add value and reframe so that things can be seen more positively and thereby energy can be found to move forward.
I think of conflicts for example. We disagree, of course we do. But most of the time our disagreements are rooted in criticism and critiques. How differently things will be if we brought our ideas tentatively to the other/team and seek creative construction. Instead of an either/or, we may get both/and as an outcome.
Creative construction demands too much from us. We are too mired in our little puny cubby holes. It calls for us to make connection and find reliance on a meta meaning. So in the case of conflict, if we believe in the meta meaning that we can keep growing as persons; we can ask 'how is this helping me grow?'. This Q immediately changes our posture and energises us for creative construction. We can go on to ask, 'how is this an invitation for the relationship to grow?'. If we can agree on the meta meaning, we can hang our labels and badges on the higher hooks of purpose beyond what we can pursue - and humbly work towards a greater goal: and not just my way versus yours.
For my son's teacher, I want to say to her "his enunciation is great. why not work on his strength?",and "i am sure you are able to find fun ways to manage all these rowdy boys".
Let's see what happens next!
Showing posts with label conflict. Show all posts
Showing posts with label conflict. Show all posts
20 Jul 2007
eating in the pews part 2: 4 more Cs...in singapore christianity -- Zoe or Bios?
2. Conduct
So much of what passes off as spiritual content is spiritual lingo. After a few years in the church sub-culture, we learn to say the right things – but as the prophet indicts us, perhaps our hearts are far away…(Isaiah 29v13)
From being late at church, to skipping small groups; from discussing our latest golf scores to talking ad nauseam about the latest dish we ate; so much of our conduct gives away the fact that we live on the bios level. Young people dress just like the models in the media and we older ones have no wisdom to counter-offer them. Does it not matter how our conduct affect others? From the Bible, it definitely does! Yet we are mostly preoccupied with consumption and measuring everything by that yardstick. Church, let us see more radical giving, sharing and Sermon-on-the-Mount type living!
3. Community
The church in Singapore is abuzz with activity and hectivity as she lies on a relational sickbed. Perhaps the greatest give-away that we are being conformed to our world is the poverty of our relationships. Jesus has said that we will be known by our love. A certain quality of relating is meant to mark the Christian community. Do you and I know this first hand? Are we seeking it and living it? I was struck by Paul’s statement to the church: “from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view” (2 Cor 5v16).
Some bemoan the fact that society is fragmented and the church’s emphasis on age-group ministries deepen this divide. But simplistically lumping everyone together is plain naivete. We need to get beyond the forms to the heart of things and then put in place radical forms that heighten and affirm both reality and truth. With the twin tensions of increasing contact and intensifying depersonalistion in our world ; the church’s relational DNA is truly her best showcase of the gospel’s power to save. It is a power we must unleash.
4. Confusion and Conservatism
Humankind has always tried to remake God in our image. This danger is heightened today. As long as we treat God as a consume-able; we can slide dangerously into the muddy waters of changing our minds and fashioning for ourselves a God that is more acceptable. Perhaps you prefer a Jesus who is more emo, more sensitive, or (!) more retro…?
Trying to fend ourselves against the enemy; we so often foolishly cross swords with each other – when after all, no one has a monopoly on God. We must humbly assist one another to interpret and respond to the revelation given us in Scripture, tradition and current experience. We serve a risen and living Saviour; not a text book model.
5. Conflict
Recently, some spates of conflicts have made it to the pages of the national newspaper. Of course, the media does not owe it to us to celebrate our triumphs; but for the church to turn outwards and seek redress from the world is absurd. There is enough of God – through His Spirit – to unite, bind, free and heal us from everything, if we will but let Him lead. If we see church loyalties as badges of good taste and premium choice we brandy about, we have made a mockery of deep spiritual truths and break our dear God’s Father heart. Yes, one-ness is well nigh impossible. Perhaps this is why we have One who makes intercession for us towards this end. My husband always taught me to love Christ is to love His Bride.
Our witness is bundled with our ability to resolve conflict and move beyond differences and difficulties.
Zoe or bios; the choice seems inane to have to make. But in a world that thrives only on bios; we must be careful to appreciate, affirm and renew our commitment to zoe. And it will not be by sheer willpower, good intentions or right doctrine. As Zechariah was given to understand, it will be by the Spirit. (Zech 4v6)
2. Conduct
So much of what passes off as spiritual content is spiritual lingo. After a few years in the church sub-culture, we learn to say the right things – but as the prophet indicts us, perhaps our hearts are far away…(Isaiah 29v13)
From being late at church, to skipping small groups; from discussing our latest golf scores to talking ad nauseam about the latest dish we ate; so much of our conduct gives away the fact that we live on the bios level. Young people dress just like the models in the media and we older ones have no wisdom to counter-offer them. Does it not matter how our conduct affect others? From the Bible, it definitely does! Yet we are mostly preoccupied with consumption and measuring everything by that yardstick. Church, let us see more radical giving, sharing and Sermon-on-the-Mount type living!
3. Community
The church in Singapore is abuzz with activity and hectivity as she lies on a relational sickbed. Perhaps the greatest give-away that we are being conformed to our world is the poverty of our relationships. Jesus has said that we will be known by our love. A certain quality of relating is meant to mark the Christian community. Do you and I know this first hand? Are we seeking it and living it? I was struck by Paul’s statement to the church: “from now on we regard no one from a worldly point of view” (2 Cor 5v16).
Some bemoan the fact that society is fragmented and the church’s emphasis on age-group ministries deepen this divide. But simplistically lumping everyone together is plain naivete. We need to get beyond the forms to the heart of things and then put in place radical forms that heighten and affirm both reality and truth. With the twin tensions of increasing contact and intensifying depersonalistion in our world ; the church’s relational DNA is truly her best showcase of the gospel’s power to save. It is a power we must unleash.
4. Confusion and Conservatism
Humankind has always tried to remake God in our image. This danger is heightened today. As long as we treat God as a consume-able; we can slide dangerously into the muddy waters of changing our minds and fashioning for ourselves a God that is more acceptable. Perhaps you prefer a Jesus who is more emo, more sensitive, or (!) more retro…?
Trying to fend ourselves against the enemy; we so often foolishly cross swords with each other – when after all, no one has a monopoly on God. We must humbly assist one another to interpret and respond to the revelation given us in Scripture, tradition and current experience. We serve a risen and living Saviour; not a text book model.
5. Conflict
Recently, some spates of conflicts have made it to the pages of the national newspaper. Of course, the media does not owe it to us to celebrate our triumphs; but for the church to turn outwards and seek redress from the world is absurd. There is enough of God – through His Spirit – to unite, bind, free and heal us from everything, if we will but let Him lead. If we see church loyalties as badges of good taste and premium choice we brandy about, we have made a mockery of deep spiritual truths and break our dear God’s Father heart. Yes, one-ness is well nigh impossible. Perhaps this is why we have One who makes intercession for us towards this end. My husband always taught me to love Christ is to love His Bride.
Our witness is bundled with our ability to resolve conflict and move beyond differences and difficulties.
Zoe or bios; the choice seems inane to have to make. But in a world that thrives only on bios; we must be careful to appreciate, affirm and renew our commitment to zoe. And it will not be by sheer willpower, good intentions or right doctrine. As Zechariah was given to understand, it will be by the Spirit. (Zech 4v6)
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