30 Nov 2011

Interlude: Advent Meditation 1 (Chore-deal Log will resume...)

A Quiet Morning
~ Season of Advent ~


“how many of us share the longing of the ancient prophets who awaited the Messiah with such aching intensity that they foresaw his arrival thousands of years before he was born?

What am I longing for at this time?

Do I long for anything?  Is it Christ – who is my Life? Or am is so full of plans, thoughts and ….stuff…even pain, that my capacity to long for Christ is squelched? And i live like the walking dead…going through the motions and resenting, ranting, griping when things don’t go my way?

Do i  dare long for anything? Have i given up hope for change, newness, transformation because it seems i have waited so long?

GOD show me what is going on deep within me. YOU alone see truly, fully and with full love..

“can we welcome and fully receive what Jesus and what he brings if we our hands clasp so tightly to so much?”

What am I holding on to?
Amazing how such small hands can hold so much: the past (glories and regrets), the offence, the fears, anger…ambitions…questions, doubts..
Did i not ask to hold Your hand? Where is it? why am i not holding on to it – fast and tight? When did i let go….was it because i was..
..and i let go, and began to fill my hands with all these other things?

GOD, pry my grip open. I don’t even know totally what i am able to let go. But i need Your hand that never lets go. I release my grasp.

You have laid your hand upon me (Psa 139v5).

Readiness for action
“Advent is expectancy…. and also readiness for action: watching for God to open a way and being willing to step in, risking everything… for a new beginning…”

Will I follow when He shows the way?

O GOD, i can sense You are at work. There are invitations. The wind of the Spirit blows..but i am so slow to rise and follow. Still so occupied to really notice. Shadows of my past lurk around… saying i can never be fully free, reminding me harshly of failed attempts..accusing me of pride, discontent – all working to force me to retain the status quo. Give me courage to believe, to see, to trust, and to follow.

Lead me on level ground (Psalm 143v10)

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