27 Feb 2013


"my life would be perfect if i lived in that house" by meghan daum


i read this book and it affected me. Maybe it's because home ownership is such a defining thing in Singapore..or coz that was my mother's end point in her pursuit - to have own place filled with her kids and grandkids...


but there is also this:

The book title hit me right there..in some hitherto undefined spot. There is of course, this humming background track that really when teased apart is singing, "my life would be perfect...".. Yes, perfect IF - if a thousand flustered feathers would settle down.  


The HOUSE thing though is a particular quill; huge and visceral.

Why does it connect? There is definitely a neural pathway linked to some deeper recess that kicks in: i want to repaint, remodel, fix, even, move...the nest just needs constant improvement; no doubt something is going on here. A truthful mix of longing, desire, coveteousness and more.
Also, I have discovered this: everywhere i travel, from Africa to India to Australia, my eyes are peeled to examine how people live and i feel a need to answer one question no one has actually posed to me: how will I LIVE here ie. what kind of house and fittings and furnishings and where to get them... I seem to go everywhere anticipating to sink roots whether out of a sudden missional revelation or a dread that i will somehow be abandoned and just have to live there from that day on! I have asked. Some friends look at me only (what do they say?) while a rare one or two have shared this propensity!

What about you? Do you feel at home?


Well, the book was such fun to read too; a memoir of the heart's search for home.

4 Feb 2013

Oops! My feet are in my way!

Baby feetI read a marvelous rendition of a verse of Psalm 25 today:

I keep my eyes on God
I won't trip over my own feet


Well that was pretty spot on. Sure-footed I am not feeling. And the diagnostic is accurate too. My eyes have been glancing wildly at shadows real and imagined that remind me that I am not so great at decision-making, administration, sustaining my steps...opening wide the door to that grim enemy of our souls: fear.

Do you trip over your own feet?

I do it not only at heart level; but being the un-athletic-sort, i have actually literally tripped myself during one of those mad dashes for the finishing line. Thankfully i did not fall face-flat on the hot, hard track.
Today, thankfully, this verse reminds me I have not yet fallen and do not need to!