18 Oct 2015

You are the best parents for your child(ren): from praying for change to being changed -Uncommon prayers for your marriage

Our prayers for our spouses can be summarised in one word.

Yes, I have prayed those prayers and talked with countless women about their men and how we all pray... The word is -

c.h.a.n.g.e.


credit: Mashable

We need our guys to change.

Along the hi-ho way we discover to our chagrin that we aren't the matching Lego pieces. There are those awkward, sharp pointy edges that just get on our nerves -

not providing enough
not talking enough
not helping enough
not attentive enough
not spiritual enough!

Wait.

I am scrambling through every page of the Good Book to see if there was ever a promise that there would be an Enough Spouse. Rats.

No.

I am in pieces.

[You can read the highlights of the story in my book When God Shapes a w.i.f.e. {book nook}]

So yea, the common prayer in marriage? To ask for change. And perhaps even the temptation to check out and find someone fresh and more fitting. Or to be guilt-wrecked for we done gone and married a non.


Many wonderful women plead for change on their part too. I have lost count of the times I stood in church and instead of singing; I am praying for my horrid attitude and complete lack of love. We are not so blindsided or proud to fail to admit that we are not-quite-perfect ourselves.

Then I remember.
Of course.
Prayer - it's about a sharing of the heart's cry with the one who formed the heart.


So dig deep friends.

Over the years of digging around, I have found some difficult to reach spots and some crusted, dry regions that won't break open easily too.

Our prayers rise up from the ground of our hearts.

The wife who was betrayed and in self-protection numbs herself from all expectations may even cease to pray. But it isn't just a matter of requests not named. It is a heart that is not healed.


So over the years, I have found that in looking at the pride, fear, and love-less-ness that still resides in my heart; I have been led to Uncommon Prayers for -

truth
courage
honest conversations
kindness
gentle looks
generous laughter
serving others
loving beyond ourselves

It is so easy to forget God has joined together so that it is no longer Me but We.


Spirit-inspired prayers always foster the We back into the soil of the marriage.

Pray for eyes to see yourself the way Perfect Love sees.
Pray for eyes to see your spouse that way too.

May you pray from the depths of your heart - yes, start with the complaints; but move the conversation further. As you unburden, the Spirit finds space to move within you and surface those prayers that He himself prays and will therefore resonate with an answer from heaven.

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