Running Into the shadow of death: Holy Saturday reflections

We are all avoiding the plague of our times: the Covid-19.

But what if the entire purpose of this pandemic is to force us to face up to things we have avoided, ignored, neglected, feared -- so that we may all truly live?

***

This Holy Saturday, we can learn from the experience of the disciples as we consider their journey, and find courage to run into the shadow of death.

Jesus began sharing about his impending death with his disciples months before the dreadful event came to pass. It is understandable that they neither expect nor want to face that reality. Perhaps they chose to hear it as a parable, one that did not seem to directly impact them as yet.

In the final week, these disciples would both enjoy and endure a complex of emotions and thoughts beginning with the raucous welcome of the crowds as they entered Jerusalem, a positivity that would soon be become an alchemy of confusion, anger, cowardice and despair.

Eventually, as the inevitable reality hit them that their beloved Teacher and Friend was overcome by the political machinery of the day and had died, the only thing they could do was flee for their lives, huddling together in fearful trepidation. They had chosen to follow this Rabbi and were expecting a bright future, but what they were left with was complete vulnerability and uncertainty.

***

We too plan our lives and choose to follow bright light and great ideas we expect would lead to good outcomes: that promotion, that expansion, that success, that accolade.

Along the way, our overriding passion invariably run roughshod over lesser matters, like relationships, the environment, the next generation, our faith.

As millions of us live this way, we create ecosystems of illusions where we focus on our bubble of security and success, consumption and comparison.

Covid-19 has burst our bubbles.
Covid-19-19 has shown up the cracks of our ecosystems.
Clovis-19 has revealed the hearts of leaders and followers alike.

This virus with a crown, like the Saviour with His crown, forces us to confront our illusions and realities.

For the longest time, those who are able and privileged, educated and trained, knew about the cracks.

The disciples were taught to be humble, serve, trust, and live in missional faith. But there were deeper issues they need to face up to. There were clues when they jostled for favour and when they continued to speak before they truly heard.

But they were the chosen.
We were the middle-class and rich who lived comfortable (even if stressful) lives.

But they had the Master who calmed seas and feed thousands.
Our crazed chase for the next Instagrammable moment, fancy meal and exotic destination (and these can be ‘spiritual’), gave us an invincibility cloak of sorts.

God let it all come apart at the seams, forcing us to look at how weak our stitching of rationale, practice and soul are.

All the issues that this created world and its poorest inhabitants face as an ongoing reality now confronts us: food security, freedom, choices, mortality.

You see, the poorest in our world live literally moment by moment. They won’t know when cholera, measles, an auto accident, a work accident, or a fist fight can change their lives forever.

This level of human vulnerability is foreign to most of us.
Even with this pandemic, some of us have governments that nanny us so well, that things are mitigated.

What if you did not have healthcare?
What if a lockdown is activated in a few hours and your home is 300 kilometres away?
What if social distance isn’t quite possible because you share a dormitory with fifteen others?

***

Holy Saturday is the day the Bible has no record of. Nothing happened — it seems - except for a lot of soul search.

Did the disciples accuse each other?
Did they look back and try to trace for clues to make sense of things?
Did they confess their sins to each other and seek forgiveness?

In all probability, they did all of that and more.

For one thing, each of them decided to remain with the others.

Who are the people who have been in your journey?
How can you take the conversation deeper - to the level of your soul?
What traveling companions will you pick for your onward journey?


The prophet Isaiah helped us see this -

But the LORD was pleased to crush him, putting him to grief…. (54v10)

For God, there is a necessary pain He allows because of the greater good that can come out of it.

From climate crisis to corruption to mental health issues, God sees a greater good coming out of this Pandemic.

Do we?

Let us not merely hope for things to go back to the way things were. That is going back. No, we need to go forward.

To do so, we have to search our souls, rend our hearts, change our minds.
To do so, we have to relinquish our ‘rights’ to a way of life we designed for our maximum comfort and minimum cost.
To do so, we have join with others to create new ecosystems and continue to reimagine life so that others may flourish too.

***

It is Holy Saturday.

We are awashed with a complex of emotions.

Personally, my WhatsApp is filled with a array of messages filled with memes, anger about the government, information about where to get help etc etc.

My own life has taken a jolt. Even as I already work from home, there are nonetheless adjustments with the loss of income, the limitation of movement and of course, home-based learning. Life goes on too, with one parent hospitalised and my own health being investigated.

I have to deal with these. But more importantly, I have to grief for our world - that God loves and gave His Son for - and search my own soul, for how things should be. 


The future is being built in the present, and real change comes when we are desperate enough for it.


May this Holy Saturday find us desperate enough for a whole new world.

***

Eventually, the women decided to visit the tomb. Once the Sabbath was over and movement was allowed, these women headed towards the site of death. It is a surprising move that they had the courage to face the soldiers guarding it. It is a strange development for women to want to bring their emotional wreckage to a closure. Or perhaps, used to the earthy tasks of preparation, they simply did what they would normally have done…

But O what awaited them!

This pandemic is giving us an extended Holy Saturday. God knows our soul search needs to be extensive and intensive.

Will we brave it and walk right into the shadow of death?
The death of our old ways?
The death of our cherished habits?
The death of our values?

This kind of courageous soul-searching requires solitude: set times to reflect, think and pray.

Head over to  Quiet Morning  {click here} where I provide a resource for us to learn to do that.


May we be desperate, brave and intentional — — so as to be surprised by the Resurrection!

[this was first written and published on Medium]

Turn your Isolation into a Gift: Quiet Morning

Isolation is hard.

While some joke about how this time of distancing and staying home suits Introverts, the truth is we all need meaningful connection.

And possibly the most meaningful connection to have is with oneself and with God.

Too many people are strangers to themselves - what makes them tick, why some things perturb them so much, what can help them move forward, how to stop the endless loops...

Too many who claim faith struggle to trust God - the Unseen One.

This is why (and thanks to friends who egged me on) I am making

Quiet Morning 

more widely available.

I realise that the simple decision to set aside time, to lean towards Being rather than Doing, to slow down and open our entire selves before God and to relish a morsel of truth is so transformative.

I hope many will join this and experience something we do desperately need in this world: peace within ourselves, peace with God... which enables us to become peacemakers - and this Pandemic has shown us how far from peace: creation damage, discrimination, weak healthcare systems, mangled political realities that hurt the poor and weak...

In God's mercy, He has sent Light so we also do see good being done by many during this Pandemic. But overall and understandably, this has also aroused a sense of PAN(dem)IC.

I would admit that it has not been easy. Different ones of us find different parts of it hard. From work to family life, to developing fastidious hygiene habits and ensuring that there are groceries... it is easy to go overboard with the news, go under the sense of helplessness, go round and round with all that needs to be done! Even as one who has worked from home for so long, I find this prolonged season of unfolding bad news wearisome.

This made me believe that all the more, we have to seek out space to calm our fears, understand what is going on and sow into a way of life that can bear much fruit both now and in the future.

I believe in a Life-giving God, who painfully allows this to awaken us to what Life is truly about, and is drawing us towards a way of life that will be more peaceful, truthful and bountiful.



As I started this post, I saw a picture of a seed.

Photo by Artur Łuczka on Unsplash

Unless we stop to think of it, it's easy to forget that a seed is so full of promise and potential. In each seed is the possibility of an Orchard!

But the seed must endure isolation, loneliness, and apparent death, to all it has known. It needs to be broken open, risk, to allow it's generative ability to play out as it lets go, endures a change and stretches towards the sun.

Yes, this feels like a season of great loss, and I do not diminish the real loss of jobs and security  that many do face. But it can be a good and necessary loss, one that if we are willing to endure may lead us to a way to both empathise and act on behalf of those who are at the brink of losing everything.



It is also a season of wilderness. All our highways are empty and streets and squares are quiet*...and we feel collectively sent out into the wilderness where things are stripped down to a sense of survival.

But again, this imagery and experience holds another dimension. The wilderness in Scripture is a very special, appointed place for divine exchange. It is where Abraham encounters God the Promise Maker,  Moses gets his commission and experiences God as the Deliverer, where countless battles are fought and won... and where Jesus drew the line of his ultimate loyalty to God his Father.

Down through the ages, the wilderness is sought by those who are spiritually serious. We have to learn to welcome it as God brings it. For He is there waiting, for us to show up,

If you dare get up and go forth to meet God, you will find that His Word is true, powerful and even accurate, and you will also meet and know yourself much better.

And my dear friend, we need you in our world.


I have much more to share, but for now, this should suffice.

Here, would you take a look at this:

Facebook Video

Then, I hope you will hop over to this page to get started: Quiet Morning Details



*Empty now: a 5 min video of major cities today

The Future Is Here

It is, because it first exists in our minds and hearts.

Yes, the future is here, lurking between the spaces of want-dream-pain avoidance-ambition-expectations ----- and it is propelling you.

Jesus told us plainly, "where your treasure is, there your heart will be also" (Matt 6)

How many years have I known these words from the Gospel? Several decades. But it's a living, present word because -

what we treasure changes with time
often what we treasure is a reflection more of a pain we want to avoid than a dream we dare to own
God wants to be our always-treasure

When I was a teen, I had visions of success (have I shared the story about the sports car, the light rain and the handsome dude?)...which shifted with the years. As a leader and pastor, I had ideas of what should be valued, fought for, stressed out about. As a parent, how my children turn out is a huge chunky preoccupation!

I also learnt that sometimes I treasure something (way too much) because somewhere along the way, it became a part of who I am (the cool lady pastor perhaps? not really, but it nearly did). Certainly, there was a time God has to awakened me to how I idolised a 'perfect' marriage, simply because I was in pain that my parents did not have that.



So now that my children are growing way too fast, with one at (gasp!) marriageable age even -- I realised that I have so far prayed vague, right-sounding prayers for their future. You know the stuff of 'I surrender them to You', 'You have a future' type thing, only occasionally daring to foray into what their future may actually be about.

Just exactly ten minutes ago, the Holy Spirit whumped me on the head and I went 'oof!'. A clarity I am not capable of flashed before the screen of my mind and a truth surfaced: the future is hazy (this word always shows up in my post when the haze is around, hmm).


So try a simple exercise with me. Visualise the future, where your kids are adults:

What are they pursuing?
What are their priorities?
How will they relate to you?
What role will you play?

Wow. I have to admit that I am not fully ready for these questions.

There is a part of me that wants them to have commercial success (money is so useful)... I consider the young adults I know who have such success and must admit I see this: working long hours, escaping on vacations, developing costly hobbies, obsessing over online shopping, Netflix...

Well, ok, my children probably won't be like this. Of course they will be serving in church, possibly in leadership... but then I hit a ...haze.

It's not like I need to know, and God forbid that I try to control anything.


But I feel the Holy Spirit is inviting me to have a conversation about this.

It's an important conversation because I need to examine my treasure.
It's an important conversation because there are things I can put in place to support the unfolding.
It's an important conversation because God wants me to anticipate and grow my trust.
It's an important conversation because I need to shield their destiny with prayer.


I am quite certain the conversation and prayer will not end up with me being able to visualise the details. But it will do these three things:

keep my heart tender to what God wants (faith)
help me be positive to developments I witness in them (hope), and
be a constructive and empowering presence in their lives (love).

The Bible says these things last - treasures indeed. (1 Corinthians 13)


What about you?
What conversation are you having with God over the children He has called you to steward?


Here are some related reads:
Helping our children 'beat' the competition
3 Anchors for your child's bright future
Raising children who Contribute
Are we Future Ready?
Maid In Singapore Kids

you are the best parents for your child(ren): raising children to contribute

Do you feel like you need a break? Do you ever wonder if your children are wishing (or they may have told you) that they want a break?

Is breathlessness, sleeplessness, even a sense of pointlessness pervading our souls?

The last post on Beating Competition brought in this story from reader Kenneth:

"I grew up in a loving and close-knit family, with parents who cared deeply about my well-being and my future. I have two sisters, one a year younger than me, and another fourteen years younger. Growing up, I was always in competition with the first sister. My parents spurred us on by pitting us against each other in our grades, and it also didn't help that my sister was taller than me all the way until Junior College! 

Not only was I competing with my sister, I was competing with many of my classmates in school. Parents would share their children's test scores with one another, keeping track of everyone's performance. It stressed me out immensely, but in the end I achieved the consistent good results that my parents hoped for. So did my sister, who consistently did better than me each year! For me at least, it was almost entirely because of the competitive environment and the tireless pushing from my parents that I achieved the academic success of my youth. 

Fast forward many years - I was awarded an overseas scholarship and studied at a good university in the States. But after completing my bond of seven and a half years in a stable corporate environment, I resigned - with great relief...."

relief   rɪˈliːf/

1.  noun. a feeling of reassurance and relaxation following release from anxiety or distress.

We need relief when we feel held, strained, pressed: I am guessing that's too many of us. 


And relief comes when we dare to see it. Kenneth did.

This young man blessedly met, loved and married a beautiful lady and shares ~

"...the moment we got married, we realized the utter pointlessness of living a life in constant competition with man. Experiencing love convinced us that life was too precious to be spent chasing something that seemed to have little purpose beyond being a means to satisfy the dream of eventual happiness, something that we could already enjoy in our love for each other. And as we grew in our understanding of God's love for us, it made us even more bewildered about our previous desires to become richer, smarter, or better looking than the people around us.

So we have both left our "promising" careers behind, satisfied that we no longer have any desire for what they promised."

Thanks to Scotsman Adam Smith (died 1790), our economies are built on the basic premise that everything proceeds and is governed by self-interest and competition; that is, we act for our own gains and we improve what we do because we don't want to lose the ability to work/sell/buy...it is the survival of the fittest in economic terms - except - by now, we must come to realise that while he isn't totally wrong; competition favours those with resources to begin with.

One of Singapore's core values is meritocracy; and many of us are children of this wonderful value that has allowed us to become socially and economically mobile. But as a nation, we realise too that we no longer begin at the same starting line these days. While disparity and inequality has always existed, the gap is so large these days, it's as if we hark back to feudal days of dismal poverty versus extreme displays of wealth.

We were watching TV the other night and CNA ran two adverts back to back: India's Stolen Generation showed a young lady speaking of rape, images of children being herded while an activist declares that child disappearances are a daily occurrence. Immediately after that came an advertisement about a travel show, the hosts hamming it up and plying the good life. I muttered to my mighty teen, "this doesn't feel right", and she replied, "this is the world what".

As it had been a particularly hot day, we turned on the aircon - aware that we are living under the shadow of looming global crises that can no longer be sorted with simple measures.

Findings from other fields also highlight to us how interconnected and interdependent we really are. Certainly, instability that arises from disenchantment, anger, and a sense of futility upsets everyone - and is a key cause for religious radicalization.

When we scratch the surface, it's easy to see that our current systems predicates upon selfishness and greed -- and look where that has led us.

So perhaps it is time for a new paradigm; and it may not need to come from a thinker. It can come from us - who raise and shape the coming generations.


Let's hear the rest of Kenneth's story:

"I decided to join my wife in our small pottery business*, with a total family income of less than half my original individual salary. We have spend the past year creating works of ceramic art that are, although lacking in technical mastery, reflective of our new journey of faith and joy. As we share this journey with our pottery workshop participants, our lives present an alternative for their consideration. The local ceramics market is very small... but we plan our work to avoid  competition with fellow artists; instead seeing them as collaborators in the push for a more vibrant local art culture. We continue to study under Mr Lim Kim Hui, one of the established local potters in Singapore, because we admire his love for the art form and his willingness to share his vast experience with his students.

I'm only 34, and with only 8 years of working experience mainly in a competitive corporate environment ....  But what I know is that all the years of being a successful student and professional has never once delivered on its promise of happiness. But every ceramic vessel I have made; every moment I spend helping our workshop participants make theirs; every time I see the smile on my wife's face, gives me the kind of joy that no amount of academic, financial or material achievement can give."

 But it isn't easy, at all.

Just take the matter of household chores. I am guessing your kids are not jumping at the chance to do them, much notice things that need a little tidying, neatening, care....and take the initiative to do them?

Recently, I am troubled afresh that my children's lives revolve around themselves; specifically since school is so demanding. I have met so many parents who serve their children: chauffeuring, cooking, planning, studying alongside... the mantra is"the poor kids are so stressed already, they can't do anything else". This leads them to a lifestyle that basically revolves around them surviving a system and finding relief through entertainment and vacation.

It's all good if their hardwork pays off. But not all enjoy academic success. And do we really want our children's lives to be all about study (and resting from it)? Many of them find it rather pointless too!

I remember being told when I was young that doing well in school would bring us a better future. I wanted that better future. My parents were struggling to make ends meet. The entire family shared one wardrobe. Everything was scarce. A better future with more food, clothes, and options was good and needful. But today, what do our children aspire towards? Parents tell me they are raising children who want to become Youtube sensations!


I don't think we want our children to inherit a world marked by more strife.

Rather, we want them to learn to contribute, to collaborate, to problem-solve, to make a difference by using their gifts and pursuing their interests. We want them to be mission-al, not adrift. We want them to have hope, not feel and learn helplessness. We want them to study and shape the systems of society not extract what they can and leave others lagging behind. We want them to have friends, know laughter, and manage losses with an upbeat spirit.


We know it's a bitter life when we compete. So why foist it upon our children? And how will it turn around in the end? Will we be bitten by a system that indoctrinates us that each man must be for himself?

The ramifications go way beyond career choice - and - the decisions about the future are always made today.

2 boys find a way to rescue pup

Share your ideas:

How can we help our children not to fear the future, to be future-ready?

What changes must we make to help our children live with a more outward orientation, to see themselves as contributors and not mere consumers?

And, 3 anchors to hold us steady 

So much thanks & shout out to Kenneth & Huiwen {what a beautiful couple right?} 

must check out their amazing pottery here -} Asobi

Future ready?

I suppose some things will remain.

We certainly hope so: those jobs that carry prestige and bring in the moolah - bankers, doctors, engineers, lawyers, vets... The Professionals.

Some of us grudgingly admit that a 'proper job' is acceptable and can be a source of pride: designers, dancers, singers... The Presentables.

But what if your child and you are clueless about what the trajectory looks like? Is it time to panic?

How do we work out the tension between wanting our kids to have a life (and especially a childhood) and a future that we don't even know about?

We have heard enough about how fast the pace of change is. Later this year, we may have a wristband that can transmit your phone image and you can swipe your arm!

Some of us cheer, some will jeer, others will find it just plain queer that such an 'innovation' is required at all [not to mention the Evangelical obsession with last days and the anti-Christ].


But we are mostly thinking of change in terms of product innovation. There is another change afoot.

This video speaks of change based on current trajectory and it's mighty exciting and scary at once.


Yet if we pay attention to the news; this trajectory may have serious tangents and disruptions-

The economy isn't working well anymore.

There aren't enough real jobs.

 We haven't had any real innovation for a while (though many projects are at the cusp of success if they could have funding - and many for good causes, such as cleaning up the seas).

 There is rising discontent on multiple levels in many societies, poor and affluent.

 A property magnate thinks he can be the American president.

 There are alternative models of business and financing via the Internet that parallels or may overtake traditional markets.

There is cause for much worry - if - we sit around and expect things to be fixed for us.


How shall we raise our children to be future ready?


You remember how at some point, you asked, "what is the point of studying this?".
It's a question prompted by sloth and some real inquiry. We used to moan a little then get on with it.
Today, when kids ask the question, it's kinda like us; but they are onto more. They already live in a different world than us. We inhabit the same spaces but do not see and interpret them the same way.

Perhaps then, what we need is to stop imagining a future we cannot quite see; but get into heads and hearts more to see the future the way they are envisaging it. More than once my mighty teen has said, "Mom, it won't be like that". It gave me pause. 

We should bring the great unknown into out discussion, and then, read the amazing legacies of exploration.

scaling everest
braving the antartic
crossing the seas
plumbing the depths

read about these -

scientists
adventurers
biologists
trekkers
missionaries

If it's going to be new territory, perhaps the best way to be future ready is to be inspired to see the future as a space to be explored and conquered. It is best to prepare to develop grit, compassion, and collaboration. It is necessary to have basic survival skills honed: reading, problem-solving, relatonal intelligence, self-care. It is time to face the fears and demons. It is time to find a reason for living.

And I have found that I need to keep seeking my own reason for living in order to believe in life, in my place here, and not be overwhelmed. I guess I am modeling for my children how to face the future.


I'm thinking this is how best to be future ready. What about you?

To Really Live when life is hazy

That haze we all hate is such an apt metaphor for our times.

It's in the air.
It affects visibility. We all want to see clearly.

It gets in our air.
It affects air quality. We all want to breathe easy.

It gets on our nerves.
It reminds us that others may not care about what matters to us; may be unfair or even barbaric (to us) - and vice versa, really. We all want respect, fairness, and the power to get our due.


Life is hazy. We don't always see properly, our breaths are quick and shallow as we rush from one thing to another; and we bump into situations and people we wish we did not!

Our faith, purpose in life, motivations can all be hazy too.



This blog site is called To Really Live. I don't even remember when i started it! But it is my personal quest. I have one life and I want to really - live - it. I don't want to merely exist. I don't want to skirt around the edges or float like a phantasm.

Being around for nearly half a century, I feel that we have made life less clear and more cluttered. The voices, views and vistas are so many, we are left wondering, longing, and lost.

How does one..... Really . Live?  To have hearts that are not troubled or afraid?


We need to know what we Live For. 

There is a forward pull to life. We need a sense of direction, some goals, a telos of final destination. Heaven perhaps. Or God Himself? It's useful to seek, establish and recall what we live for. Or we shall can be easily troubled when we compare ourselves with others and then, afraid that we are losing out or worse, just plain lost!

We need to know that we Live From.

Many of us try to live away from. Some live away from their homes, their parents, their hearts. We are trained and enticed to look at all that shines and glitter and shun our lives; especially the bits we cannot finish gnawing off, that never quite get digested: regrets, hurts, pains, shame losses.

But to live well we need substance. The very life we have is the substance from which we are to find compost for fresh shoots.

Our hearts are often troubled and afraid when the past creeps up. Though not all of our past can be understood or explained; we can find peace when we embrace it. Peace comes not in the absence of trouble; but in the midst of it.

We need to know how to Live In.

If we deny our past, we are likely to fail to engage our present. Life is a series of days and an outworking of choices. Beneath it all is the hum of our emotions.

Yet the most amazing thing about life is The Present Moment. Each present moment has the potential to change the trajectory of our lives. What if God had primed us for this moment? What if God has provided someone or something right now, right here, that will call us forth? What if God is right here with us?

To live in our lives presently is the best act of faith and defiance there is. When we choose to embrace, give thanks and serve right where we are, we are saying we trust God to work things out, we are saying we believe in miracles, we are refusing to let our past suck us back in or the future discombobulate us. It is to be rooted, anchored and steadfast. After all, God is a very present help in trouble. 

This space is for us to learn, let go, love and so, To Really Live. Yes, you will find stuff about -

The past ~ memories, reflections, lessons
The future ~ dreams, plans, inspiration
The present ~ dailiness, doldrums, darting danger and drumming up fun!

And dear friends, join in. Your past can encourage my present, Your future can be energised my past.

 Let's Really Live - together - for it was never meant to be done alone.

Thank you for being here.