write exercise

wokay. my son will barge through the front door in exactly ten minutes.
i have not written anything of length for weeks! so here goes. a writing exercise - where i randomly and intuitively pull out ideas, words, feelings...
colour - i see black.
o dear. certainly not a very pleasing chromato-zone unless you are some artsy minmalist. Hmm, i wonder what it shows. Yes, there are some severe things going on requiring grave thoughts..
word - change.
who, what, when? One of the things i thought about this morning was Psalm 1. i thought of the time i read it slowly and spoke about its meaning and several youths broke down and cried...there was a part of me that wished they thanked me more. Caught! this needs change - the need for "thank you's"...surely NOT any indicator of humility which lies at the heart of true spirituality.
Yes, i am also longing for change. No one of us is happy with the status quo - within and around us. But change, at what pace, what price, by who and for what end, in the end? Change can arise out of restlessness, envy, pride or purpose.

OKAY, the son comes in..and asks, "who is home?" with a tantalising lilt.
i ask him, what colour are you thinking about. He closes his eyes and says 'red!'

I got to go. It's an emergency!!