Ignore the war and lose the battle

Maybe this applies only to me. 

But after having listened to hundreds of people, especially women, I think I am not the oddball here.

Negative Thoughts.

It is a very real battle, part of a war of cosmic proportions. I know, it sounds 'normal' when the circuitry goes -

He's gone and done it again
Hiaz, I don't think this is going to change
What to do...this is the way church is..
I'm not good enough 

Some self-doubt is good or we would all be obnoxious pompous pigs {sorry, pigs, writers love alliterations}. But, when it comes around, lurks in your mind, sneaks into your conversation, lingers in your memory -- and it makes you or worse, someone else smaller -- it is time to take action. Yes, it is time to take all your ammo out and shoot it to smithereens. {My son will be very proud of me for such decisive, drastic thoughts; he the one who wants to blast road-hogs into space}.

In particular, I am talking about those closest and dearest to us. We see their spots: soft, weak, blind, gross... and it is easy for us to pick on those spots like we are scratching an itch. It is honestly, quite effortless. Plus, we get plenty of help from the Enemy who has a deep fascination with disintegration, destruction and discouragement. If you and I can experience any of these within our bosoms and in our relationships, it is success for him.

God designed us to live in relationships. This is how we learn who we are and become who we can be. In the ~
tussle,
the give-and-take,
the forgiveness,
the letting go,
the learning to respect and to gain respect,
the drawing of boundaries and the breaking of rules

-- we uncover our personhood and thrive as humanity and community.

Nothing wrecks us like isolation, accusation, and condemnation. With all our best devices and ideas, these trio lurks close by because it is not the media that connects us but the Master.

So much of my life would be different if the Master did not have his say. I can see the debris of broken trust, the fall-out from half-truths, the abject brokenness of abandoned projects of life. But thankfully the Master had his say.

So you and I; we risk, reach out, restore, and release.

There is a horrid battle going on right now in the Middle East. It is a familiar battle of frustration, disenchantment and a different dream wanting expression. The observers and critics all say it is a battle that can only be won if there is enough political will and commitment. Just striking from the air won't do the job. It will cost us heavy. But the alternative? A continual bleed that turns up in a new spot? I don't know if it can be finally stopped due to the ideological and religious roots of such movements. But it is instructive for us. The battle is expressing a larger war of ideas and ideals.

In a sense all our battles too arise out of a clash of ideas and ideals. So out of a sense of frustration, of feeling like we are overpowered, of a lack and a desire burgeoning to break the ground...come our harsh words, impatience, and weary thoughts - all expressions of a larger war where we have not learnt to find peace, contentment and suck the marrow of life. Instead our hearts are tossed hither thither by ideas and pictures that tantalise and lure us away from what we do have; keeping us in a forever 'I don't have enough' mode. We have not submitted our hard-won ideas and ideals to the Master. No wonder we cannot hear him -

The Master says to us we are strong enough with Him to bear the tough stuff of life. Where people are concerned; this means they will never be enough for us. Yes, our longing and hunger for love is so great it needs a Great Lover to meet it.

The Master calls to us to keep waving that crazy banner of hope that there is Glory right here to be had. Where people are concerned; this means we never give up seeing them in God's light so that we choose to believe and trust rather than to doubt and distrust.* 

Nearly everyday, those Negative Thoughts would try to occupy me. They come sometimes in legion and spread out mats all ready to have a picnic! Regrettably, I am able to write this precisely because I have sometimes failed to bat them away with a mighty Word. This is what happens then:

him: .....
me: (gruff)....
him:... ??...
me: ...(still gruff)...
him: (wiser now)..wait a minute, how is this related?...

If only this was a preamble to a warm heart-to-heart that led to hugs and kisses. No. More often that not, it just exhausts us!

If we really held on, we won't be adrift

I woke up this morning to a Negative Thought. {they are very impolite; they never ever knock but barge right in}. By now, I know better. I take out my broom and sweep it away. Out! Damn thought! Then I go sit with the Master. My mind and heart soon fills with far superior things and occupations. I want to pray  and build up the very person I began the day with odious thoughts about. I become aware of their struggles and needs, and tender thoughts fill me.... I have stopped reducing him/her to his/her weakness but is seeing the person.

Fellow woman-soul (& the men who care), remember there is a war, so be armed; and you won't lose this battle.

 

*this does not apply if the person has a compromised mental capacity or has repeatedly hurt you. Please see the police/a counselor.