A Prayer to My Saviour, Gd Friday 2018

We blew out the final candle

and the little boy sobbed
he felt the dark, darkness


we read how You
betrayed
accused
flogged
nailed
suffered
and love

even a stone would cry out

when i rise
from that solemn moment
in the dark
waiting for Resurrection Light

the lights flicked on
energy we create
so we can burn on when
the sun has called it a day

I soon forget
I soon forget

Gathering my crumbs of
desire,
Picking up the strands of
plans,
Setting forth the hours of
labour

As if -
they aren't tainted by sin
everyday
every moment telling me
that I need, and have a Saviour

and I am busy saving
time, effort, money, lives even

unaware
how much I need saving
from my own ideas of good
from my fright-flight mode
that yo-yo of existence

Jesus dear

How did you live those last days
knowing what you did

the disappointment when your chums would fail to pick up your pain and slept instead
the betrayal by one you till the last called a friend
the opacity of rulers
the pain of your mother

You taught the milling crowds -
Cast your eyes to the end: earthquake, persecution, terror
Once more, you beg them to sober up to their trajectory


You showed them - the master's friends
A towel and a basin are the weapons of revolution

You told them
What is coming
So eat, drink, it's my final meal

As you did this
the nard-fragrances lingers
that death-whiff no one inhales deep to shift sensibilities


Jesus dear
Dear to me
I have too
disappointed
betrayed
been opaque

So this morning
You asked me to draw near
Exhale my sin
in confession
Request Spirit-eyes to see

then Inhale
your fragrance
as you wash me clean
and hand me a towel

Dear Jesus
Save me once more.