Mastery.
Without mastery, we are a short step away from madness.
We turn any way today and we find these are true. From Instagram to news, from the private to the public sphere. Within borders and beyond.
We love being masters. We long to be. Masters of wealth, the dream relationship, vacation…of the universe (albeit of the screen variety). But we are not meant to be masters. Masters own their success too keenly and often break apart when that goes away... Although we got the idea when we crown those at the pinnacle of their game, masters. But let that teach us it is all about mastery, a posture and a commitment, not a position.
We are meant to develop mastery.
To rule, we have to know the rules.
So God gave us minds to inquire, observe, study, make connections.
To rule, we have to reign.
So God gave us abilities, gifts, opportunities to grow in knowledge, discipline, strength, resolve and resilience.
To rule, we have to relate.
So God situated us in an interdependent ecosystem.
This calls for us to develop mastery -
where we own our agency and submit that to a higher vision of a flourishing world.
We need to master our weaknesses -
so that they we don’t give in to sloth, compromise, convenience (plastic is a case in point), blaming.
We need to master our strengths -
so that we don’t detach from others and the larger vision of life, and start using people and commodifying everything.
We need to master our emotions, thoughts, impulses and choices -
by submitting them to a higher Authority so that they are revealed for what they are, and in trading in truth, we walk free.
And what better to illustrate than this entertaining and o-so-true experiment with marshmallows!
This verse has a dialectic to it - where one leads and reinforces the other. Both are bound together: obedience and freedom.
Freedom is not being a master - getting your way. Today, that’s the message sold to us.
There is no respect for the ecosystem. People can hurt, forests can burn, oceans can be poisoned.
There is no rest as we cast off our boundaries and limits, constantly coveting what others have.
There is no clear result of what we are pursuing as we break the rules and head towards anarchy.
It’s important we return to the mandate given to us in creation, which requires us to develop mastery.
Tragically,
And mind you, mastery doesn’t come with big strokes of genius. It is developed through the small stuff.
And here’s where Parenting comes in, and our worst fears too.
Where are the parents who are willing to develop and model and teach mastery because they can
Heck, I would love to see parents stop using their phones when they are with their little ones! That would be mastery!
Parents, we need to stop worrying about the kids making it the future. They are designed to make it - if they have seen you model mastery and find they can too.
I have a plan (vague I admit) for every stage of my child’s growth. It starts with:
I believe the first thing was pausing to give thanks before drinking (after the bfeeding routine settled). Then came holding his bottle. Then came listening to instructions, and obeying them promptly (this is still ongoing ya).
Not so much to score your kid, but I found it fascinating as it helps me take note of his growth, give thanks for it and envision what is coming and work with it.
What is more life-giving than to witness growth?
The paradox is parenting is the most tiresome and yet most rewarding thing there is.
The boss may toss your proposal into the bin. Your best output may never be measured or commended even. But children - it’s pretty instant feedback! You get short shifts to stay on your toes, dig into your creative reserves, and draw on every ounce of energy, motivation, prayer and help there is.
Children plug us back in the truths:
Ecosystem
Growth through discipline
Rules exist
--- which lead us down strange paths of freedom.
And remind us that there is a vision called Life, which is Legacy.
Countdown to the 5 things a parent MUST do:
#4 Let Them Grow You
#3 Build Competence
#2 Give Them Safety and Security
#1 Build Emotional Bonds
If you have time, save this link where other aspects of Mastery are talked about: from faith-life to sex.
If your emotions need a bit of help, then save this link: Mastering Emotions ++
Without mastery, we are a short step away from madness.
Exaggerated
Excessive
Impulsive
Divisive
Extreme
We turn any way today and we find these are true. From Instagram to news, from the private to the public sphere. Within borders and beyond.
Debt (from weddings to lifestyle)
Family breakage (from our way to my way)
Brexit (complicated, but the unmeasured words are a huge contributing factor)
Bombings (Sri Lanka, New Zealand…)
Assault (bloody chop-up at hawker centre)
Violation (voyeuristic videoing at a tertiary institution)
We love being masters. We long to be. Masters of wealth, the dream relationship, vacation…of the universe (albeit of the screen variety). But we are not meant to be masters. Masters own their success too keenly and often break apart when that goes away... Although we got the idea when we crown those at the pinnacle of their game, masters. But let that teach us it is all about mastery, a posture and a commitment, not a position.
We are meant to develop mastery.
“Let us make man in our image….and let them rule…” ~ Genesis 1v26
To rule, we have to know the rules.
So God gave us minds to inquire, observe, study, make connections.
To rule, we have to reign.
So God gave us abilities, gifts, opportunities to grow in knowledge, discipline, strength, resolve and resilience.
To rule, we have to relate.
So God situated us in an interdependent ecosystem.
This calls for us to develop mastery -
where we own our agency and submit that to a higher vision of a flourishing world.
We need to master our weaknesses -
so that they we don’t give in to sloth, compromise, convenience (plastic is a case in point), blaming.
We need to master our strengths -
so that we don’t detach from others and the larger vision of life, and start using people and commodifying everything.
We need to master our emotions, thoughts, impulses and choices -
by submitting them to a higher Authority so that they are revealed for what they are, and in trading in truth, we walk free.
And what better to illustrate than this entertaining and o-so-true experiment with marshmallows!
“I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free”
~ Psalm 119v32
This verse has a dialectic to it - where one leads and reinforces the other. Both are bound together: obedience and freedom.
Freedom is not being a master - getting your way. Today, that’s the message sold to us.
Self-care!
Express yourself
Change the laws that limit you
Change anything about yourself
There is no respect for the ecosystem. People can hurt, forests can burn, oceans can be poisoned.
There is no rest as we cast off our boundaries and limits, constantly coveting what others have.
There is no clear result of what we are pursuing as we break the rules and head towards anarchy.
It’s important we return to the mandate given to us in creation, which requires us to develop mastery.
Tragically,
There are grown married men who remain selfish and neglectful of those he’s meant to take care of.
There are mothers who abandon their children for ‘love’ and ‘a better life’.
There are leaders aplenty who line their pockets and are blind to the suffering of the people who elected them.
And mind you, mastery doesn’t come with big strokes of genius. It is developed through the small stuff.
And here’s where Parenting comes in, and our worst fears too.
Where are the parents who are willing to develop and model and teach mastery because they can
budget, simplify and live by their values - which if you chose to be a parent - means you value life itself (not it’s accessories such as grades, fancy food and costly vacations)
do the hard thing of losing sleep, endless rounds of diaper changing, answering the hundredth “why”, sound like a broken record with “you cannot have that now…”
slow down to help the child grow his bodily, emotional and mental muscles when you know a mess is waiting, a meltdown is coming, a demand and a pout are moments away, all of which we would rather not deal with (have the maid feed and clean, give in, shut them down with your anger).
Heck, I would love to see parents stop using their phones when they are with their little ones! That would be mastery!
Parents, we need to stop worrying about the kids making it the future. They are designed to make it - if they have seen you model mastery and find they can too.
I have a plan (vague I admit) for every stage of my child’s growth. It starts with:
What is a reasonable thing that my child should be able to do at this time?
Not so much to score your kid, but I found it fascinating as it helps me take note of his growth, give thanks for it and envision what is coming and work with it.
What is more life-giving than to witness growth?
The paradox is parenting is the most tiresome and yet most rewarding thing there is.
The boss may toss your proposal into the bin. Your best output may never be measured or commended even. But children - it’s pretty instant feedback! You get short shifts to stay on your toes, dig into your creative reserves, and draw on every ounce of energy, motivation, prayer and help there is.
Children plug us back in the truths:
Ecosystem
Growth through discipline
Rules exist
--- which lead us down strange paths of freedom.
And remind us that there is a vision called Life, which is Legacy.
Countdown to the 5 things a parent MUST do:
#4 Let Them Grow You
#3 Build Competence
#2 Give Them Safety and Security
#1 Build Emotional Bonds
If you have time, save this link where other aspects of Mastery are talked about: from faith-life to sex.
If your emotions need a bit of help, then save this link: Mastering Emotions ++
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