Encouraged by Sweet sister Sarah

I have grown up with Abraham. I sang the silly ‘Father Abraham’ song:

 Father Abraham

Had many children

Many children had father Abraham

Some of them were tall and some of them were short

But none of them were bright 

Raise your right...

 (right hands shoot up)…

And on it goes till one has lifted hands, kicked out feet and shaken the body.

So Abraham the patriarch loomed large in my consciousness – he who obeyed God and became the father of the covenanted people.

Then I got married; and I started noticing Sarah, his wife.

Today, I read in the Living translation that

He continued southward to the Negeb, pausing frequently (12v9)

If you have followed your husband through job changes, relocations and other tectonic shifts.. Sarah understands that. She had to set up tents, make home, cook meals, do laundry..then take it all down and start over – frequently.

There is a way we idealise Bible stories that make it all a rosy hue of settled faith and fortunes. The more I read carefully, the more I am convinced that’s simply untrue. It’s mostly grit, dust, questions, silence – and faith.

Sarah moved along with it all.

Did she not have thoughts, opinions, feelings? You bet! 

And then, we come to this part where Abram decides to lead everyone into Egypt because of a famine. The story plainly tells us that he instructs his wife to pose as his sister to save his skin.

 Again Sarah goes along. But then, God acts.

It struck me! God had promised Abram progeny. Technically, in the polygamist culture of that day; it can come many ways…But, God protected Sarah (He dose this twice! Abram seems slow to learn this) – because Sarah is his chosen instrument to bring forth the promised child. God guarded and kept Sarah’s destiny while she lived in a world where her rights were practically non-existent.

I have been through things I would not choose and endure decisions I would not make (not that they are evil)… but a few times now, I have received this intimation that God watches over me. 

Like the time we lived in the USA for a year. It was a scholarship for my husband and he gained a lot no doubt. But it was a special season for me to raise my daughter, and to write. Although I struggled with some aspects of being there by myself, I enjoyed so much of the life and community, the colours, seasons, and experiences. I drank it all in and they nourished me. Two years after we returned, in a moment of serendipity, I actually sensed God said the time was for me too! I wasn't just a tag-along with some secondary purpose if i was lucky enough. Sure, it was my husband who emerged with the degree, but I received an honour from God as opened my heart to my calling. He affirmed me and helped me along. He opened doors and grew my courage and conviction to begin this whole journey towards being a pastor-writer.

God is just amazing.

We think of everything in zero sum. If he gets something, I lose something. Not so in God’s Math. It works out very differently. Sarah shows us that God cares about us women, guards our destiny, shields us from danger and strengthens us each step of the way.

There will be things that matter to us -taking down tents and all that stuff - and God may let us learn Love through it...but when it comes to what matters; God will be watching closely and will act on behalf of us. 

Keep Calm and..

CALM, calm?!

where do we find C-A-L-M  in our clam fisted, clammed hearts, clammed-jammed calendar world? 

Good grief, i got this image off a site called: "keep calm-o-matic" where they are busily tracking every parody of this basic image and idea.

I decide to make one for myself. See:

Because this is what it is about for me now! 

If anything changes when I am not calm; it is my voice - tone, quality, speed, and volume! Talk louder so he can hear me. Repeat again, and again (also known as nagging) because the kids are not getting it. Counter-productive.

In fact, i sheepishly recall that i had advised in my book to 'talk about A when she is interested in A' - sage advice for communication. But guess what? Time marches relentless on, things are piling on the table, one can nearly feel the inbox bulging with fresh mails, another SMS to say she forgot something....and augh, i forgot to moisturise again... !

So all the words about B, C, D...undone, poorly done,..all the words, not chosen, erupt, tumble out - here and there and fall down in all the places that do not welcome them. Things remain the same except for the temperature in the home and the racing blood coursing through hardening veins.


It starts with KEEP:
i return to the truth that I am not fixer or keeper. Everything slips out of my hands too easy. Remember the old word 'safe-keeping'? Well, i turn to the One who keeps it all safe, who safe-keeps; full of wonder and wisdom; and i hand it all over, all again. Then --

CALM re-enters me and I am freed from my worst self.

And I have been consistently surprised it all works better. my heart-rate is more even, i can pay attention and write my blog(!), sip my tea slowly, sit by the angst-sy teen's bed and listen to talk, hand out clear boundaries for the itchy seven-year old buttocks to remain on the chair....

A! Moments with God: 3 simple steps...

This simple 3 part time with God is easy to use and gets us to core transformative habits: gratitude, Grace, and trust. Try it and tell me about your experience! 

Appreciate

- taking time to just appreciate where  you are at, and not at(!), people in your life, and pray blessing over them. i also took time to appreciate God Himself.


Anticipate
- is being quiet and still so the noises of your soul emerges..and u listen to the tunes: is it playing fear, worry, restlessnes...? Ask the Spirit to point the way. our current state predisposes us to choices and consequences. so anticipating is both looking within and looking ahead. at times the Spirit wants to highlight what lies ahead in our path and grant us wisdom to navigate with sensitivity and courage...


Anchor
- in Scripture* and prayer..continue with what u are reading or ask for a word...and lay down your defenses and choose trust.


*continue with current readings or try out the following: Psalm 16, 23, 139; John 15; 1 John 1.

(a repost prompted by a Quiet Morning I will be leading for 30 women & a few men!)

An old Word made new - when God's Word seem distant

I am doing a search through my Bible, a quick scan of verses and passages related to a subject I am examining It's a hunt for traces to line up a path of understanding. Along the way I come to an old friend, a verse I had read, re-read, cherished and remembered as a teen:

For the LORD is a sun and shield,

He bestows favor and honor;

No good thing does he withhold

From those whose walk is blameless. (Psalm 84v11)

I recall easily the force of conviction and utter joy at the discovery I'd this promise. How i step abroad with easy confidence that the world and all it holds lie wide open before me; mine to uncover and treasure, enjoy and enrich. How my future beamed bright with good stuff labeled with my name waiting to be dispatched at the right time. I did quiver a little at the blameless walk bit, but I hide behind a mighty Cross and knew I meant business and kept short accounts.

So each time the sun rises and I  felt the warmth or the sting of its tropical rays, I would remind myself God's power stands near and touches me enough without overpowering me. Each time things go awry, I entrust myself to One who will protect me like a shield so I am not completely defeated, but can arise again.

But now i feel the distance of twenty years and many episodes of disappointment, failure and heartache standing between me and these feelings, this word.

It is easy to fill up with questions and cynicism. They fill the air we breathe, and as redeemed fallen beings whose diet is to reach for the fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, the effortless bent is to seek to calm our fears with what answers we can find. Adult life entrenches this habit: we are proved at work and in our relarelations by the power of what we know-to-work. We are called upon to provide answers, solutions, options.

Yet at the same time, we experience a widening and deepening chasm between what we do know and what we do not. We recognize as problems multiply with complicity at work, children who refuse to conform, weakening bodies, our own unruly souls... that our true knowledge and ability, and - control - is flimsy ay best.

It can be a time of increasing piety.

It can be a season of aching get-by-each-day..

Or

We can turn afresh to those promises and take a deeper look.

In what way is God my sun and shield?

Can we be made to wait because giving us something we want, which we deem to be good can become something bad if it was given too early?

Can the waiting be of value in itself; and indeed be the time-space needed to experience God as sun and shield?

Together with my scouring of verses, I read a Spurgeon piece that bears these lines:

"...we will drive away our griefs, and set up our banners of confidence in the name of God. 

Let others lament over their troubles. 

We who have the sweetening tree to cast into Marah's bitter pool, with joy will magnify the Lord.....

we will not dishonor our Bridegroom by mourning in His Presence.....

Do not men of Grace find their Lord to be campfire and spikenard, calamus and cinnamon...

O sweet Jesus, you are the portion of your people! 

Favor us with such a sense of your preciousness, 

that from its first to its last day we may be glad and rejoice in You!..."

The paradox of being fully immersed in life and yet being lifted beyond it...living a dream, trusting the Great Invitation to live full and free, real and rugged is held by a thick cord that will not snap with our changes. It is called Grace. 

And it is made possible by the Resurrection!

IT'S COMING! 

... Sink deep into it... and rise anew!

r.e.s.u.r.r.e.c.t.i.o.n

CLICK here for a nice reproducible:
RESURRECTION chalkboard art

"my life would be perfect if i lived in that house" by meghan daum

"my life would be perfect if i lived in that house" by meghan daum

i read this book and it affected me. Maybe it's because home ownership is such a defining thing in Singapore..or coz that was my mother's end point in her pursuit - to have own place filled with her kids and grandkids...

but there is also this:

The book title hit me right there..in some hitherto undefined spot. There is of course, this humming background track that really when teased apart is singing, "my life would be perfect...".. Yes, perfect IF - if a thousand flustered feathers would settle down.  

The HOUSE thing though is a particular quill; huge and visceral.

Why does it connect? There is definitely a neural pathway linked to some deeper recess that kicks in: i want to repaint, remodel, fix, even, move...the nest just needs constant improvement; no doubt something is going on here. A truthful mix of longing, desire, coveteousness and more.
Also, I have discovered this: everywhere i travel, from Africa to India to Australia, my eyes are peeled to examine how people live and i feel a need to answer one question no one has actually posed to me: how will I LIVE here ie. what kind of house and fittings and furnishings and where to get them... I seem to go everywhere anticipating to sink roots whether out of a sudden missional revelation or a dread that i will somehow be abandoned and just have to live there from that day on! I have asked. Some friends look at me only (what do they say?) while a rare one or two have shared this propensity!

What about you? Do you feel at home?

Well, the book was such fun to read too; a memoir of the heart's search for home.

~ Bare: a friend shares raw and honest.

Through Roseys Glasses: Five Minute Friday ~ Bare

Oops! My feet are in my way!

I read a marvelous rendition of a verse of Psalm 25 today:

I keep my eyes on God
I won't trip over my own feet

Well that was pretty spot on. Sure-footed I am not feeling. And the diagnostic is accurate too. My eyes have been glancing wildly at shadows real and imagined that remind me that I am not so great at decision-making, administration, sustaining my steps...opening wide the door to that grim enemy of our souls: fear.

Do you trip over your own feet?

I do it not only at heart level; but being the un-athletic-sort, i have actually literally tripped myself during one of those mad dashes for the finishing line. Thankfully i did not fall face-flat on the hot, hard track.
Today, thankfully, this verse reminds me I have not yet fallen and do not need to!

for Heaven's sake!

Heaven - we worry abt relating to others and we tell nervous jokes about ending up as neighbours to those we tolerate on earth.

But what of the Resident, the owner of heaven; the maker and King over all? How prepared are we to live with Him?

If our eternal future is to be at home with our Maker, how much of our lives are seen and lived through this lens?

I think of the trials we undergo; those pains of broken-heartedness, the ache of disappointment, the crises of God-silence...

We try hard to explain why things happen, why people behave the way they did, how God could use us more when we emerge from the valleys...

This stays on the outward course; looking still at performance, outcomes and what we-can-do.

But perhaps God's heart is more about who we become and what we cherish:

-children deeply adoring and happily dependent on their Father.

-Servants who know Jesus' heart and ways and flow gladly with His Spirit of Grace and truth, nearly oblivious to the demands and pressures of tradition, systems and persons.

-Leaders who carry a burning vision kept aflame by God's personal supply of fuel , faces reflecting joy that comes from the confidence of a battle won.

It is about embracing the incredible invitation to enter the eternal fellowship of the Triune God and drink of the never-ending love that exists there.

It is about trusting the wondrous purposes of God and letting our hearts made for him... begin to grow larger to contain more of Him!

Look forward to heaven by living full and free now- held and led by Love. 

Birthday (B)log!

 A strenuous dream stirred me awake..in the wee hours of 31st December. Thankfully, I was tired enough to fall back asleep. I next opened my eyes to a brightened room and my mind began to fill fast with thoughts of things undone, tasks to do, and ideas loving to consider. But soon, a sense of weariness crept in. ‘Happy birth-day’ should be about my being, not my do-ing!

Forty-six years ago, Love ushered me into this world...why?

For years it has been my habit to spend some part of my birthday looking back to trace Grace-prints, mark the pits and my folly that helped me stumble into them...and then to listen for the Wind's blowing for the new year.

I was sick last year after a busy Christmas season, and trundled clumsily into January...feeling totally awful and unprepared for 2012. But I felt a relief ...a reminding; that even my good habits must not overtake God and His Grace. I sensed the Wind late; it wasn't until January 14th that my new journal was ready. Epiphany.

After settling the kids’ breakfast, I sat to write in my journal. A plain recording of the moments up to that point...I had no appetite for breakfast, ideas or plans..so I wrote the last line: "today I shall drift". I  texted a few girlfriends. One of them replied, " sounds like a good 'plan'!".

Well, even drifting was challenging since I had to co-ordinate with hubby about kids...some one as always lays a way. How does one negotiate drifting?

The time came for me to hop on the train into town. Two of my older sisters are meeting me for tea. We went to a small shop filled with ornamental angels, chests, and posters, and clusters of chairs around tables. We sit in a corner and begin to examine the menu. I love trying stuff, but we settle for two pre-designed tea sets of bruschetta, cakes and scones.

 Being intentional and pastoral, I often ponder about our conversations. But today my mind gets to rest- I am drifting! The conversation was true and fast...hearts were bared through long diatribes about stubborn daughters and 'individuating' sons. Life is. Sisters are special- we can keep up the talking since most of the drama of our lives revolve around people we all know. My sisters agree at the end it maybe a good idea to invite my nieces and nephew to a new series on Love. The sister with the persistent cough may go off chicken on my suggestion...stuff of life.

The kids were excited dad got the Two Towers (I keep calling the them the Twin Towers) DVD. I slipped out to share some cake with a neighbor then came back to finish the movie and settle them for bed - a whole  hour later than I had instructed! My plan to be at a Watchnight service weakened. I showered and put on my flannel pjs, the rain has been falling lightly most of the night so it is now very cool for the tropics....

And I hope to drift off to sleep soon....

Every day is in itself un-repeatable; filled with details oft unplanned and perhaps even unwanted. Life has always been about this paradoxical tension of and/or: you plan, you also cannot plan. But on my birthday, planning was really low – which is a rest when you live in a busy city filled with expectations, longings and fears.

You know...Almost, Nearly, Always!

With the New Year coming, I’d like to introduce you to three familiar friends. This is because they have a knack for taking the ‘new’out of any year. Meet them and find out for yourelf! They will tell you about themselves:

My name is Almost. I have two buddies, Nearly and Always. We are pretty different; but as with all friends, we found a way to hang out, laugh, and not take each other too seriously. In fact, I think we look pretty good as a lot: Almost Nearly Always. I told you.

Well, those two can wait. First, let me tell you about myself.

I have great ideas-

-Better distribution of resources to end world poverty

-Roundtable talks to negotiate water resources so that nobody dies of thirst

-Cross-fertilisation of think tanks to deal with those intractable issues like democratizing nations, Aids, and mother-in-laws. Yes, I am also funny.

Ah…and in case you think I live in the higher realms, I also cover more pedestrian concerns like

-Losing weight

-Proper exercise

-Wardrobe makeovers

-Tidying my room (really)

And I come really close to actually doing something about these stuff I think about and talk about. In fact, my sterling quality is precisely this: everyone holds me in pretty high regard because I am so close to what everyone is trying to deal with. My admirers range from the neighbourhood coffeshop assistant to that smart professor of Philosophy who sometimes I see running in the park! I don’t exchange mere pleasantries when I meet folks: we talk for quite a bit. I always nod knowingly and with the sincerest empathy for whatever whoever is going through; and I am proud to say some of me rubs off on them afterward.

O, here comes Nearly.

This is a real chum. In fact, when I am with him, we seem to have a doubly effective effect! Just a few weeks ago, we spoke with young and old and everyone single one of them benefitted from the clarifying chat. I still remember some of what we talked about:

Bringing a gift for a friend’s birthday

Calling up her mother (she has not spoken to her in years)

Trying out a new way of talking to the kids

Changing job

Buying a new brand of (o dear I forgot what this one was about… My name is Almost remember?)

It is amazing how relieved people feel when they just know that these things at least crossed their minds.

Always is strongest of the three of us. She has this knack of sneaking up on conversations – whether the person is talking to himself or to others – and simply stabilizing everything. No change, no shift, no move. Nada. That is power I say. Just keeps everything the way it is! Just consider how she slips in and maintains the status quo:

I am always so slow/worried/blur (works with any adjective – amazing right?)

He’s always so selfish

It always rains when we have plans

See? She’s amazing!

Well, the Mayans were wrong. Or should we say right: after all, from the looks of things, we are almost, nearly about to end in a big bang (the way we began presumably)! Always.

a truly merry Christmas

There's lots of help going around this busy season: where to eat, what to buy, where to get the best and cheapest!

Here's something on how to have a truly merry Christmas - from moi!

First, it's important to be merry. Perhaps you are not given to episodes of melancholy like I am, but I am sure life gets busy, difficult and tiring enough that being merry just seem so....naive!

Well, when the angels lit up the night sky with the out-of-this-world proclamation; they cried out "Peace on earth! GoodWill to men!" These words have always intrigued me. We simply see and feel and share too little of this. The angels are telling us something deep, permanent and essential has changed! God Himself is not to immersed in human history that all of humankind cannot help but be able to taste peace and share goodwill. If we ponder this long enough... we cannot help but chuckle in surprise, do a little gig and scream 'Merry Christmas!'. 

Here is Merry.


mer·ry  [mer-ee] 
adjective, mer·ri·er, mer·ri·est.
1.
full of cheerfulness or gaiety; joyous in disposition or spirit: a merry little man.
2.
laughingly happy; mirthful; festively joyous; hilarious: a merry time at the party.
3.
Archaic. causing happiness; pleasant; delightful

Now for getting truly merry.

#1 remember the point of it all
If God has come and the great Promise had been kept - that our world can be saved; do not fret about that party, present or person already!

#2 spread a little merry
think of someone, no matter how distant from your orbit (okay, pray God shows you someone) - and consider how this person experiences happiness and do something to bring a smile (or a tear).

#3 join the merry
you probably aren't glum as a person; but very few of us know how to really look up and live. look around for something that will really lift your spirit and be there! (thanking God you can)

Have a really Merry Christmas friends!

Post-vacation thoughts... Rest is what we need!

It happened.
The way thoughts and concerns about work: back-log, people to call, the ever growing do-list, the bits you suddenly realise you forgot...creep into the last few days of vacation. I was already carrying a sermon burden, but some moments, my entire calendar and to-do list appeared in my mind like a drop-down menu !
I sighed.

It happened.
I came home and it was meeting the next day which led to another meeting..several emails requiring attention and that to-do list which now looks oddly inadequate. With my lapses in memory, i scramble to recall if i had already planned for that meeting and this appointment... My soul beat a quick retreat and I longed for a whole new world!

Did you ever want a permanent get-away, a forever holiday? I surprised myself; I who laud embrace-the-present and live out loud. Of course, at any time, our lives are never completely how we want them. Lack, loss or loneliness is part of the human experience; and moving to Colorado will only bring another set of angst.

The vacation was great. A different rhythm, spending time with warm, loved people. But what I need, as always is rest. Rest in Love that alone can reassure, tune me sound and send me forth. And you know what? this Rest comes easily really. My worn chair, a quietened heart, a journal and Bible plus a good book or two.

Get some rest my friend before you launch into 2013!

Foreign Corresponding...

Hey!
I am writing off a "20-minute access" computer at the town library in Fort Collins called the Purdue River Public Library!

Book and library lovers travel anywhere and still end up in these nests of comfort: Firestone rare books, Barnes and Noble, and yes, town libraries - why not?

So here's a piece about a local library in a foreign land:

1. It's a huge place with three floors. I easily spot "children's" to make a direct beeline for with two restless, sugar-filled boys in tow. More than a corner, it has several interactive panels which i am tempted to fiddle with myself but for the shelves of books everywhere! The rambunctious boys play war-and-no-peace among the panels, I interrupting when the noise level gets unacceptable...but so far, no one has thrown a disapproving frown  across my path.

2. Shelf-labeling is interesting: they have 'staff picks', 'seasonal' (it's nearly Thanksgiving), and shelves called 'Hot and Cold', 'Think Big', 'All in the family' and..the more common, 'Mystery'. I am amused and attracted --but know from experience Asians will have little patience for such obtuse labels!

3. So many PCs to use! They have a twenty minutes limit for most sets and I went eureka! I set the boys down to one and so here i am at another PC! [ i must mention a young male librarian worked very hard to get the sound out onto to headsets so the boys can tune in to www.pbskids.com and watch/play Curious George! Nice.

4. Music in the library - live! i got to go: Dana and Susan are about to perform with banjo, harmonica and guitar a suite they called 'Journey across America' - what a panaromic treat!

Not in a hurry to return to my Bishan library at this point. Grins.

[posted after i return as my twenty minute ran out and the music started so.. ;) ]