The powerful truth about earthquakes - in our souls - why we are armed and the only way to true disarmament.

Physical quakes are the plain-speak of the reality of life. It is a true and honest metaphor for the upheaval, breakage and wreckage we see in the fault lines within our souls and between us.

A quake just struck Italy.

In fact, quakes happen with astonishing regularity - list of quakes for 2016 up to mid August - and we would be hopelessly disheartened to know about each one. 

It's been slight over a year now when Nepal practically fell apart from a richter 7.3 quake. The images recently portrayed in a CNA docu Nepal Living Dangerously are even more tragic because it is a people who are abandoned. The aid had arrived; but there was no proper bureaucracy and machinery to distribute it. People continue to live dislocated, lost, on less than subsistence.

 We are familiar with the story by now. Our vulnerability to forces that surprise us and the impact of the decisions by those in power on the ruled and governed.

But before we point to the powers there be; I remind us we are all at least a government over one: our self.

fault line :  something resembling a fault :  split, rift 

The fault line is the point of weakness. 


Within our souls lie many points of weaknesses -

self-doubt
self-loathing
self-hate

It's hard to recognise, much less admit that these do live within our castles of being; which we have painstakingly built, renovated and decorated. We haven't been schooled in the knowing of our hearts and the speaking of our souls. Instead, it's "look at my strengths! See my passion! Watch me fly!" - and we know our strengths easily become weakness, our passions fizzle and we are often, really flightless birds.


The person we must be at peace with is ourselves.

Looking endlessly to others to tell us we are O.K. won't work because we all seek the same, and very few of us can offer the consolation and assurance for we are aware of these very real fault lines within; and often more worried and exhausted by the tension and unrest we feel; and the possibility that a rift will occur.


And then there are the many points of weaknesses between us. Yes we laugh, we share, we work hard together. But let's face it, good friends part way, as do team-mates and soul-mates.

What we forget often is that the dynamic between us is the outcome of the dynamic within us first.

It is the man at peace who lets other have their peace.
It is the man at peace who embraces others.

So we are armed, and dangerous.

Armed to defend against the faults within us. We rationalise, explain away, blame, attribute to what is outside for what is really going on inside us.

We are also armed to fight when there are tectonic shifts. Suddenly, it is you versus me. Your territory, your burden, your portion, your right....

You versus me
We versus them

That's our way world!

Alas, that's the world we are so used to, we bring it to church too. So many sermons I have heard and preached a few are about defining us-against-them. It is needful to define and often that means a need to draw distinctions. But if we are not careful, we are basically training more sword bearers. O LORD for the day when You shall bring this to pass -

"...they shall beat their swords into plowshares, and their spears into pruning hooks; nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war anymore." ~ Isaiah 2v4

In the meantime, with terror rising, once peaceful folks are starting to purchase arms to protect themselves.

this kind of guide?

Why such a move is wrongheaded-

"...for all who draw the sword will die by the sword" ~ Jesus in Matthew 26v52"I tell you, my friends, do not be afraid of those who kill the body and after that can do no more" ~ Luke 12v4

Jesus tells us there is something far more fearful than being physically killed. Our bodily, physical existence is limited and will end. The thing to truly fear for is the state of our soul.

Violence is never the solution.
Not in personal salvation (working yourself to death trying to be righteous).
Not in parenting.
Not in politics.

These are concentric circles radiating outwards from the centre of the individual person; the soul. If anything out there is going to improve, be made right, move towards integrity and harmony; it has to begin within us.

Alas, each of us is a long way to peace within our bosoms.

Perhaps, peace is not an attainment (the Nobel Peace Prize?). It is a posture. A posture is how we present and respond because we have learnt to control and direct.

posture - a conscious mental or outward behavioral attitude [Merriam Webster]

It takes time to correct, align, strengthen a posture; until it becomes natural, at ease. It requires the right exercises to create new muscle memory and even cause some disruptive pain for a bit before a new, better, way is established.

Until then, tremors, tension and even earthquakes may occur. We certainly want to avoid all of these; but in truth; they provide very pertinent information:

Energy released during earthquakes (seismic energy) provides much information about Earth’s interior 

How is your Interior life?
How are your feeling today?


related reads {right click to open in a new window to read (later)}: 
when your soul is in grief
a longer read: an account of soul care - a retreat experience
an encouragement for old-er souls
a soul care series with Jesus


May we all be able to say with increasing equanimity, It is well with my soul (song) - grab your ear phones!"

and for those who prefer a visual, here is art:
beautiful image of swords into ploughs by Sharile Monnier



Finally, pause to pray that such scenes will multiply:

Why my single friend you are so powerful!

I have been thinking of you my dear single friend.

I am not saying this to console.
I am not saying this because I envy your freedom to decide nearly everything in life on your own.
I am not saying this because I am unhappy (I am grateful and gratified though I struggle).

But I deeply believe you are so powerful.

Your power lies in your being one. Singularity is a powerful thing. 'One' as we all know is a mighty numero Uno: first, unfettered, focused. Single mindedness, being able to zero in on an arena.

Eberhard Arnold:

If the heart is not clear and undivided – “single,” as Jesus put it – then it is weak, flabby, and indolent, incapable of accepting God’s will, of making important decisions, or of taking strong action. That is the reason why Jesus attached the greatest significance to singleness of heart, simplicity, unity, solidarity, and decisiveness.

Purity of heart is nothing else than absolute integrity, which can overcome desires that enervate and divide. Determined single-heartedness is what the heart needs in order to be receptive, truthful and upright, confident and brave, firm and strong.

(Getting two hearts, minds and wills to be singular is a gargantuan task few attain to honestly. I am forever figuring out how this marital 'one-ness' works!)


Consider what this means for all your choices and decisions. It is really up to you.

This is power.

Yes, you can get scared. You wish you had someone to discuss it with (make that someone who will understand and agree), someone to fall back on...but a ring on the finger, a walk down the aisle doesn't guarantee this power. It is actually still the same. You have to invest, build, repair critical relationships.

As a single, you can choose multiple such relationships and tinker with your time and energy to make each relationship work well. You can have friendships that are solidly invested in, community that you are actively building, peer and older mentors (in the flesh or some other forms eg books)....

All you gotta do is  d-e-c-i-d-e.

Decision-making is after all, the most incredible gift God has endowed us. Free Will. Choice.

You see, if I cared about issues of justice but my spouse doesn't to the same extent or degree; the scope for the range of choices I have is already defined. Even if he would agree to let me go off and do something about it... how long, before the relationship strains? I have not included children into the equation.

This is why:

"I want you to live as free of complications as possible. When you’re unmarried, you’re free to concentrate on simply pleasing the Master. Marriage involves you in all the nuts and bolts of domestic life and in wanting to please your spouse, leading to so many more demands on your attention. The time and energy that married people spend on caring for and nurturing each other, the unmarried can spend in becoming whole and holy instruments of God. I’m trying to be helpful and make it as easy as possible for you, not make things harder. All I want is for you to be able to develop a way of life in which you can spend plenty of time together with the Master without a lot of distractions" ~ ~ 2 Corinthians 7v32-25 (The Message version)

But -- loneliness.

Two weeks ago, I went on a personal retreat and did a bit of an unusual thing. I chose not to go to a regular retreat centre; but checked into a hostel downtown. I felt a strange draw to do it. I actually found a lovely hostel that had quite cosy spaces for me to sit, journal and pray in the aircon, while looking out onto the bustling street!

But what caught me a little unprepared was meal time. I walked out and seeing that the street had eatery after eatery; finally settled into one. A lady sat at the next table; by herself.

This is when it struck me.

I have taken the reality of eating with someone else for granted. She sat alone. I sat alone. Glancing at the menu wasn't much help. Unlike some places that offer a one-dish meal; this menu had nothing of that sort. I ordered a soup and it turned out to be large enough for at least two... not wanting to waste, I offered the waitress some of the soup!

I prayed for you right then my single friend - that the pangs of loneliness will not get the better of you.

Loneliness: having someone near, around, or with you, doesn't always banish it though. I found that experiencing loneliness when you expect not to be lonely is very painful too.

Loneliness is best combated when I take my eyes off myself and avoid throwing a pity-party. It is driven away when one offers company - maybe being physically with someone, or perhaps doing something for someone. Holding someone else in our hearts and minds crowd out loneliness pretty effectively.

Surely there's an older person in the neighborhood who is lonely? A child who would enjoy being read to, a letter to write and so on....

Dietrich Bonhoeffer says this:

Pain is a holy angel who shows us treasures that would otherwise remain forever hidden; through him men and women have become greater than through all the joys of the world. It must be so and I tell myself this in my present situation over and over again. The pain of suffering and of longing, which can often be felt even physically, must be there, and we cannot and need not talk it away. But it needs to be overcome every time, and thus there is an even holier angel than the one of pain; that is, the one of joy in God.

These deep words:

"The gift of unity, whether with other people or with God, does not depend in any way on marriage. In fact, the New Testament teaches that a deeper dedication to Christ may be found by giving up marriage for the sake of the kingdom of God.

Those who renounce everything for Jesus, including the gift of marriage, are given a great promise by him: he will be especially near to them at his return (Rev. 14:1–5).

Whether such people find themselves without a life partner because of abandonment, death, or lack of opportunity, they can find a much greater calling than marriage if they are able to accept their singleness in the depths of their hearts. They can dedicate their lives in a special way to undivided service for God’s kingdom." (read the rest of this here: the service of singleness)

My dear friend, this is your discovery, your adventure with God, your journey. But I want to help you slay the lies that you are un-like, poorer, less. Plain lies. I want to encourage you my single friend - to see the potential that lies within your heart.


And, let's have dinner sometime!

You think you are emotional... wait till you meet this lady!

Most of us (guys included) have so many days when our my emotions go helter-skelter: up, down, even sideways. 

In a way, our emotions signal to us that we are alive for they are the first bits of us to respond. Sights, smells, touch, sounds all trigger emotional responses in us:

Wow

Eew

Yuck

Awww

Augh

Sometimes they get too much and we just feel overwhelmed --

-- - especially when it's the negative ones like regret, doubt, grief. So perhaps we mutter 'whatever' and act as if we didn't care -- when we do.


Today, even as have made great strides towards understanding men and women and elevating the worth of women; emotions are still often seen as a liability; a particularly feminine one. It's something we don't want to take too seriously. 

This is how we like our emotions:

Then comes Jesus.

He has a way of bringing out the deepest truest parts of us if we are willing to risk it. 

from: knowingthetime.com

And he's not afraid of all our wildest emotions.


Jesus and his disciples were walking in a non-Jewish territory. This lady comes out of nowhere and begins crying out to Jesus for help. 

"Have mercy on me, Lord, Son of David; my daughter is cruelly demon-possessed" ~ Luke 15

It then says that Jesus did not answer her a word. I always wonder about God's silence. It feels immediately like God is angry or has stopped caring. But could it be that God's silence is His way of giving us space and time to be. He is saying, "I am listening". 

This tiny thought explodes in my soul. The God of the Universe is listening to me and has chosen not to interrupt me as it were. 

Sometimes, what we need to say takes a long time for us to come to say it. Some struggles and questions are so deep, convoluted, messy; we need days and months and even years to be able to find the words to say it. All the time, God is listening.... until we are ready to hear.

The woman in this story responded to God's silence with pursuit. She obviously would not let up but railed on as she trailed them; for the disciples "implored Jesus to send her away because "she keeps shouting at us".

This is an intense scene.

Emotions are spilling out everywhere: the disciples are feeling embarrassed, awkward, annoyed. The woman has gathered all of her emotions: loss, confusion, powerlessness, grief, shame...and poured it all out before Jesus.

Jesus seems to stand apart from all this emotional outpouring; and we quickly conjure up our picture of the religious person: detached, cool, objective. But that's not accurate. Jesus is listening for the heart of her words. It is coming; and he wants to say something very critical to her.

Here is a picture of full-on emotional engagement that is meaningful.



There are times, we have to really let our emotions lead the way. Suppressing, ignoring, fearing what people may think won't work. 

For all we know, this woman's sorrow, frustration and anger at her situation may have often spilled out at the wrong people and at the wrong times. When your daughter has a demon; it is hard to be in control. The demon could act up and cause so much trouble for her. As a woman, she is physically unable to restrain it. Others would consider her suspect if not an outright witch or problem. Friends will be hard to come by.

But today; she sees an opportunity. We have no idea how she knows about Jesus and where she gets her notions from. But she got it right:

Jesus can handle all of her emotionsJesus can heal her daughter

So she lets it all out. She expresses her desperation - without reserve. 

To our eyes, it is probably a sad, pathetic scene. She is so losing it, we may think.

But that's not what Jesus sees in her desperation. When he finally speaks, he assuages her pain with a reference to his acceptance when he points out that house pets don't get to sit at the meal table. 

Did Jesus just compare her to a puppy?
Did God just describe me as a sinner?

Some of us hear God's word as condemnation.Some of us hear it as requirement.Some of us hear it as irrelevant.

This woman sees that Jesus has engaged her and she is not going to let go now. She hears it as an invitation to insist on her belief: Jesus, you can help me.



Jesus did not send her away.
He did not shut her up.
But he stretched the emotions for their worth. Jesus shared with a woman his missional priority (yes, a non-Jewish woman who would not be educated). For many again, this may seem uncaring and distancing. 

But not for this woman. 

Her answer is astounding. She humbly identifies herself with hungry dogs that will snap up the crumbs that fall from a table. 

Do we ever get this desperate?

I think we get grudging. "Ok God, since you can bless so-and-so with... then at least.." is more like us.
I know we get angry. "Why God?"
For sure, we get going with the complains department. " God, I have already been asking.."

As I read this, I recall that we were "once enemies, alienated from God.." (Romans 5) - but by the mercy of God and the salvation grace found in Christ, I can now draw near.

She does not have the same assurance I do ---- yet.

Seeing Jesus, she cannot accept that Jesus will not help her; and her insistence moved Jesus to declare her faith to be genuine and great! 

We honour God when we trust Him - above everything else.

Jesus was moved by her trust.
He helped her cut through her emotions to this sacred place of implicit and expressed dependence.

Then Jesus said to her, "O woman, your faith is great; it shall be done for you as you wish." And her daughter was healed at once. ~ v28

Let your emotions signal to you that it is time to take it all to Jesus.
Spill it all out, inchoate, bits, messes.

Take a good look at what He is able to do.

Cry out desperately for what you truly need.

Listen for what he may say.

Let your emotions serve you by leading you to the depths of what counts.


related posts:
bereft
a little more Will-ing
how to Will over your emotions

How to keep on: be your self {but beware} & when it's wrong to live for others /

Please, be -- your.self -- but do read carefully what I mean by it.

My book Shed Those Leaves asserted boldly, "emerge to be your true self..". When the publisher showed me the finished product and it was classified as 'self-help'; I wanted to weep.

This is a world about helping yourself to all the Turkish delights*, the possibilities, the dreams, the passions. So powerful is this notion that even God is said to help those who help themselves. And of course we see how destructive it can be; that our default self-mode is perniciously self-ish.

Yet here I am again, asking you to be  your.self.

It is a dangerous thing to call people to. I asked myself: isn't this the privilege of the rich, first-world, high up Maslow's hierarchy, the reserve of those who have arrived; the creme de la creme of society? It is a luxury; or is it?

Here's a hint of the answer: our accouterments and achievements often conceal more than reveal who we are. I have found the poor to be more at ease with themselves and often their raw, rough edges are far more lively than the culturally smoothed ones of the respectable.

Also, we preach a gospel of a personal love, of each made uniquely in the Image. How can we then refuse to witness to the diversity and variety? How can you relate to God except by being who you are? Wouldn't we be impoverished if you and I refuse the courage to be who God made us?

But what does it mean? How do we become our selves?

Recently I wrote an old professor friend who was my pastor for the few critical years when I was training for ministry to update him about a missionary who had left her family and chosen to come out and to pursue a new relationship. She leaves in her wake broken families; biological and spiritual. People are angry, bewildered, troubled, burdened. I was astounded that in reply, he told me of others he knows personally and through contacts; many older, who have done just the same. These people have all gone off to be their "true selves".

We read such stories and easily mock them for being foolish, selfish, willful and even  treacherous. Some speculate if they really knew God. Sure, there are instances that may be so (but it isn't up to us to conclude). I am not going to say I have the answers. But I do not take these stories lightly. Such drastic departures, a disruption, a whole different trajectory isn't a walk in the park. To come to a day when you feel like your life is fraudulent is a terrifying thing. It is to have everything from under your feet snatched away. There is a crumbling of the soul and an intense void and vulnerability that happens. Like a distracted sheep, a person asking such deep questions about their lives, desperate for answers -- can become easy prey.

It reminds me of teens - those bewildering, frustrating creatures who are undergoing a process of identity formation in earnest. The teen years are tumultuous years. In a way; individuals who suddenly question their lives at the most fundamental levels are not in mid-life crisis as they are returning to a teen phase. Perhaps, there is a deep need in us to journey well, with integrity though every phase of our lives; and for some of us, a failure to do so catches up on us. 

I notice something else. The stories I am getting have come mostly from people who have "lived for others" - pastors, missionaries, church planters etc. I wonder about the connection.

Each of us, have been raised to feel the eyes of others on us 24/7 - to varying degrees. But the spiritual person, a spiritual leader, often feels a responsibility to live well, to shine for Jesus, to be a good witness more so than the average Joe. And I have seen so many unwilling, unhappy ones.

As a teenager, I used to think it must be so boring that all Christians turned out to be like Jesus! I remember going to God to tell him I wasn't so keen on the idea that I had to be his ambassador - not just because I lacked confidence, but because it felt like I would be curbed somehow. 

I had a serious choice to make. [notice the teen negotiation going on]. I would say this, it is an ongoing choice. Following Christ is a daily affair as much as there are significant moments of decisive action.

But what happens when we are pressurized to make a choice? What happens when we don't really dare to look into our hearts to see if we really want the choice; and it is the inexorable pace of life that sends us moving along? What then? Such a person is a trapped soul. He wakes up one day and wonders how he got to where he is.

Despite all appearances, the trapped soul is also one who never really takes sides. He is forever sitting on the fence of trying to please others and fearing for one's bite of the pie, reputation, comfort, status quo (that works).

The trapped soul is not free to really enter into community with others, and also never really enjoys solitude where facing one's true state can be deeply unsettling.

At some point, the teenager realises that he must hack a path and learn to manage this thing called a paradox: having one's way doesn't mean backing away from others.

Jesus taught powerfully on the paradox:

Unless a seed falls to the ground and dies, it remains but a seed... - John 12v24

All potential in the seed will never be realized if the seed refuses to die. What seems contradictory is what works sometimes! 

Jesus modelled this amazing truth for us ultimately: the victory of the Resurrection came through the torment of a most cruel and unjust death, where all seems lost.

This need to be our selves while being deeply engaged in community - where there is a great deal of pressure to conform - is a hard act. Both ends are tough; yet it is this paradoxical way of life - modelled by Jesus - that brings out who we truly are and gives us a measure of freedom on this side of heaven.

Now think how hard it is for those who live in missionary situations and those in leadership.

Do they have a cell group to hang out with come Friday night?
Do people relate to them as persons and not for the roles they play and the stuff they do?
Do they get some latitude to lose their cool, to drink one more beer, to seemingly idle?

It can be unnatural, unreal, and untrue.

I think we need to stop expecting of others what we are unwilling to do.

Many years ago, my church sent a couple of us to visit a single lady missionary in Africa. I was at the end of my first year in seminary and excited about such a trip. The importance of the trip slowly dawned on me months after I returned. Besides the impact of seeing what drastic cultural adjustments she had to go through; a poignant moment was when I spoke to her in a Chinese dialect, whereupon she burst into tears. "So long, so long, I haven't heard Cantonese" she muttered apologetically.

We all need safe places to be ourselves - works in progress. In my last post, I urged us to be a bother to our brothers and sisters. Articulating our need for others to pray, to care for our soul, to offer practical support is being human. It is being real. It is what builds community - that sense that we belong together and need each other.

But we also need to be given the space to pull away from community because the discovery of who you are as God made you and sees you to be is very much a journey taken with God alone. Only God knows who we are. We are His children who carry His name and His 'DNA' and even Saint Paul considered that he could only see dimly.

We need divine revelation, guidance, and encouragement to find out who we truly are.

Too many of us allow the following to tell us who we are:

Pains
Regrets
Memories
Expectations
Ambition
Successes

All of these are but indicators. Only One can decode them rightly for us.

Jesus once responded to the religious elite about the Sabbath. He told the story of David, famously described by no less that Holy Writ as a man after God's heart, eating the bread in the temple coz he and his men were hungry. That's right; Jesus was saying, "David, he broke the law. But he did it not in contempt of the law; but because he got what the law was about. " Then Jesus said, "Don't condemn the guiltless". {Matthew 12}.

The religious elite wanted to keep the law, conform to what they thought were rules that would ensure their salvation. They never got to the heart of things. They mistook the indicators for the message that lay behind them.

What is God trying to say to you through your

Discontent -
Anger -
Sadness -
Loss -

All of us labour under the weight of mutual expectations, which are in turn ladened with the added pressure of past experiences. It therefore takes both courage and discipline to see the state of our soul, bare it before God and perhaps a mature spiritual director/pastor, and learn to do this:

I waited patiently for the LORD
And he inclined to me and heard my cry {what a lovely picture right here}
HE brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay
And he set my feet upon a rock
Making my footsteps firm.
He put a NEW song in my mouth,
A song of praise to our God;
Many will see and fearAnd will trust in the LORD - Psalm 40v1-3

Do you see the process?

Did you get that lovely picture of God's tenderness - bending down to hear you?

Do you want God to give you the stability?

Do you desire firm footsteps, a song to sing, and many hearts to bless?

I worried when writing Shed that I would be read as advocating self-cent redness. It was a distinct possibility when readers with evangelical sensibilities read words like 'self'. It was hard work trying to make the message clear, and honestly I feel now that the book could do with more polish. But I also needed to trust and rest in the truth to assert itself to those who would read with an open mind and heart.

We need as God's people to grow up by being the community we need each other to be.

We need as God's child to grow up to be who God made us.

This means that we need to figure out for our lives how to develop a healthy rhythm of being by ourselves with God and being with others.

It means that church needs to teach and guide people towards this rhythm.

It means we must be less busy.

It means we need safe places and people to talk with.

It means we must value and treasure ourselves rightly, and more.

It means we must dig deeper into Scripture, prayer and history to find out what selfhood and personhood means or get hijacked and confused by popular notions.



What else does it mean….for you?

We need to learn how to live with paradox.

The paradox that we need both solitude and community, action and rest, one and many. The paradox that the self is a bold declaration of God's Creative wonders but also a shy and slow emergence. The paradox that we can be so much more and yet on this side of heaven, never quite get the full picture. The paradox that we will find ourselves so different (being like Jesus) and yet still so much the same.

The servant-King.

The Lion-lamb.

The dead-Resurrected Saviour.

 It's a bit of a tight rope - and I hear that tight rope walkers make it across safely because of two things: they keep their eyes on the end, and they carry a little burden - an umbrella, a pole - that weighs them down a bit.

More food for thought.

*the candied yumminess that made young Edward lose his bearings and play into the White witch's game (Chronicles of Narnia, C.S. Lewis)

How to keep on keeping on (part 1: be a bother)

I had thought it was an Asian thing. Then I lived for nearly a year in the US of A, and  I realized it's not just us Asians who hate to bother people. We may avoid it because of 'face'; but scratch beneath that and I suppose it reeks of weakness to ask for help; and who wants to be weak?

so many days, a slow trudge and so vulnerable...

Two years ago, I wrote this important piece about not being overwhelmed ; and as I re-read it, the power behind the simplicity of its message is easily missed:  

"This is the power I have: to gather up all that's a-tossed within my bosom and hand them over to the Prince of Peace."

But God has more for us.

The journey from here to heaven isn't just a God-and-I thing.

I am thinking a lot about community these days. Maybe it's because the children are growing and I have more freedom to get out. Maybe it's because this is my personal Jubilee year; that is nearly fifty years of taking up space on planet earth and more than forty for following Christ (in different shades and degrees over the years of course). 

I am thinking: how do we keep on keeping on without becoming numb, jaded, cynical, and maybe even lost + why does community matter?

So here is the first part of the answer I gathered.

Are you ready?

Part 1: be a bother.

You read that right. I did not say, be a brother (or sister), with the orientation to give out. But be a 'bother' with a need to take in, be helped, raised up.

I will tell you this, it's much harder for a pastor. But other than the title and the graces and gifts; I am another desperate human, full of failings and weaknesses just like every other Christ follower and human. I need help.

Practical help

Prayer help

Soul help

I want to be able to ask: can you please take the children for a day? And I am thankful to have one or two I can say that to once in a long while. When we were at Riverlife church, we were part of a cell group made up of young families. We knew how hard it was to bring home the bacon and raise children. I seriously thought of moving closer as most of them lived in Pasir Ris -- so that we can give some solid practical help to each other.

When my missionary friend travels, I ask if it's alright to call and chat with her mother, perhaps check in to see if she is doing alright.

There really is no reason for any Christian brother or sister to feel all alone. {I still do sometimes; so let's all work at this!}.

If you don’t yet know the power of prayer, try this: send out a WhatsApp as soon as you have a need. This is what I do for prayer help. I need prayer when we are in the thick of ministry and I am so grateful for my small WhatsApp group that prays promptly and solidly each time. I also WhatsApp a group of lady friends when PMS strikes or I am in the emotional doldrums. This kind of rapid, prayer shout-outs are so effective.

The moment the responses start coming in, my heart is bolstered and my faith strengthened.

Soul help is found in those who have journeyed further along. I get that from books and individuals. We need regular soul help from friends who 'get us' [to a greater degree than acquaintances], who share our passion, are willing to bear with us talking about our confusion or pain.  It is also essential to get soul help from a Spiritual Director or someone similar*. This is because the person doesn't really know you and it gives you the freedom to just talk about stuff. Good directors don't even need to know all the story - the Spirit helps the talking and the listening; and important bits that lead to truth and freedom will bubble to the surface.

I have found that when you are setting out to obey God, he sends this kind of help -- because if he doesn't, it's hard to find them! For example, as I look back at my life; writing has always been a big part of who I am. Yet I almost never took the route. It was a girlfriend who bothered to write to me one day and ask, "why don't you write more?".

After that, doors opened. Then a total stranger, an editor in the US asked me for an article and even paid me for it. These kinds of things are very important - they embolden you to take the next step! When I returned to Singapore, a publisher was keen to see if I have any work; helped me get to a writing workshop where I met three beautiful women who raved about my writing and have since become dear friends.

Go get yourself some help. Bother someone. You may bring out a gift or strength in them! Of course, people can say 'no' -- but more likely, you will be surprised to find how good God is to you really.

"...admonish the unruly, encourage the fainthearted, help the weak, be patient with everyone." 

~ 1 Thessalonians 5v14

"Therefore, strengthen the hands that are weak and the knees that are feeble...so that the limb which is lame not be out out of joint but rather be healed" 

~ Hebrews 12v12

 *I offer Soul Help through Soul Conversations. Drop me an email at jennihuan@churchlife-resources.org to make an appointment. 

Related posts:
Doubts: the good, bad, and ugly
Seeking Faith
Faith & December
the gifts of faith, hope and love

Orlando shooting: time to take care of our hearts

Maybe it's because our eyes are right there in front of our heads, oriented outwards. We tend to look away from ourselves and seek answers from out there:

If only my parents did/didn't...
What to do? I came from this school...
Somehow my friends...
Where's the perfect one...

This is confession right here. It's my problem too.

Of course, there are things to grow, improve, even fix - out there. But whether it does or does not; whether it goes in the direction that will truly lead to more grace, joy, freedom and peace; it depends on what is going on right within our hearts.

There's been another shooting. Everyone is looking outwards: did he have links to terrorist groups? Was he radicalized? Some say he was really disturbed when he witnessed two gays kissing. Mateen the shooter, himself, looked outwards: this is a horrid club and the people (perhaps representing a whole swathe of their ilk) needs to die. Things will be different if I acted on the circumstances out there.

We will act out what's really in our hearts. We will communicate what we truly think - maybe not in the words; but in the tone, perhaps in the words withheld or in our body language.

For -

The mess of the world is the mess in our hearts.

The mess in our homes is the mess in our hearts.

The mess in our minds is the mess in our hearts.

How easy it is to denounce structural injustice, institutionalized violence, social sin! And it is true, this sin is everywhere, but where are the roots of this social sin? In the heart of every human being. Present-day society is a sort of anonymous world in which no one is willing to admit guilt, and everyone is responsible. We are all sinners, and we have all contributed to this massive crime and violence in our country. Salvation begins with the human person, with human dignity, with saving every person from sin. ~ Oscar Romero

Our hearts: that space and place where our longings, dreams, fears, dreads, memories and motivations, rationale and reasoning dwell..... the nub of who we are; that is forming, deforming.. and which dictates our performing.

Scientists cannot locate this 'heart'. Is it the same as the mind? Is it somewhere in the spaces between the folds in our brain? Is it but the electrical impulses that fire between the nerves and the chemical washes that are triggered by tiny glands? Science can observe the operations, but not nail the origins. Even identical twin studies must concede that there is some organisation that needs to account for the differences they find when two persons who share nearly exactly similar genetic material simply do not respond in the same ways to the same stimuli.

Recently I read that the Dalai Lama, recognizing the complexity of human emotions has commissioned a project to create a guide that helps people be more in touch with their true emotional state: The Atlas of Emotions.


So often, we can be strangers to ourselves; to our hearts.


The heart is a difficult place to get to. But if all your traveling in the world doesn't lead you there, you haven't traversed the most important space there is: your own heart.

And what havoc we wreak on ourselves and each other.


Just recently I was talking with a divorcee. As her discomfort abated, the words began tumbling out. So many aspects are involved in a decision like this. I considered how she must have grappled with her initial choice to marry the person, all the many pressures she experienced as things started to fall apart, the sense of guilt and anger, the road ahead with a child....yet most of these she talked about rather in passing. I was quite taken aback that she found comfort in finding an affordable lawyer; and that lawyer had waved her arm across the shelves behind her to reveal the number of cases she had handled; as if it normalised everything. Her heart is hushed into silence - for the thing to do is to press on and get the papers signed.


All the debris of unsettled hearts.



We see the muscle. We feel it continually beating out this rhythm; and we just expect it to. But stress can cause an arrhythmia; that skip of a beat. Otherwise, we just keep going, fueled by some Red Bull -ish potion we have found; the high that makes us forget, laugh, forge on.

If you are I are serious about peace within ourselves and in our world, then we must pay attention to this invitation by Jesus ~

"Come to me. Get away with me and you’ll recover your life. I’ll show you how to take a real rest. Walk with me and work with me—watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace. I won’t lay anything heavy or ill-fitting on you. Keep company with me and you’ll learn to live freely and lightly.” ~ Matthew 11v28, The Message, bold mine.

To live -

freely
lightly
rested
unforced
rhythmic
Grace-full

begins with getting up, away, and going to Him:

come, 

get away, 

listen, 

watch, 

walk, 

learn, 

keep company.

As with all explorations and discovery, we need both a base camp and trajectory to start out on. The base camp is our present life with all of its circumstances. Jesus does not call us to jettison it all. He never did live with ideal circumstances.

The exploration is to create a way to go to Him, find a way to get away in order to listen, to find a new focus for our eyes and our hearts. It is it listen to his take on things. It is to imagine his approach, his words, his choices. We unlearn to learn. We find it too hard and impossible. We are too ashamed of our complicity with darkness, our readiness to satisfy our egos.

We keep company with Jesus because all our sins and griefs cannot drain His forgiveness and goodness. 
We keep company with Jesus because our best hopes and loftiest ideals will be affirmed.
We keep company with Jesus because we become like the company we keep.

You come away from some encounters deeply nourished - and that's always a slow meal - not a buffet spread where you are tempted to grasp and pile it up. 

Keep company with Jesus, and those who draw you to him. Take care of your heart, and your heart will take care of all that truly matters to you.

"This is the cause why we be not all in ease of heart and soul: 

that we seek here rest in those things that are so little, wherein is no rest, 

and know not our God that is All-mighty, All-wise, All-good. 

For He is the Very Rest."

~ Julian of Norwich

Why doesn't God rescue us?

She sounded urgent. When she finally arrived in my dorm room, her face told me she was troubled. Then she told me that she was nearly date raped. He was a Christian guy she had met on campus. She was a very young believer herself and thought it was only right to go out with a fellow Christian. Through teary eyes, she asked me, "Why didn't God stop it? Why didn't He rescue me?".

I had no answer for her. She was the star student, extremely beautiful and of a gentle, quiet disposition. She would never have baited him. I hardly knew the guy and my thoughts turned towards vitriol for him.

Why would a good God let a nice girl like her end up with a trauma like this? She certainly didn't deserve it. I had no answer.

This was nearly thirty years ago.

But daily as we are bombarded by tough stuff, witness outrageous evil, see senseless violence, hear and read of the sacrifice of children to neglect, greed, injustice and oppression; we are all hoping, and wondering why God doesn't act to stop any of it.

Chernobyl, taken off Telegraph.co.uk

Just last month, I came to know of this prominent Christian businessman and leader's teen daughter who was gang raped when their home was burglared. Even as an adult, married with children, she tears up as she shares about it.

There are some things we will never forget.


To be sure, it could become her story - the girl who was raped. But her story was larger than that. It could become the headline that would hog and overshadow everything else about her; she could go through life forever broken, limping, and aching over it - fearful of men, dreading her future, hiding from God, herself and others. But it didn't.

Thankfully, it didn't for my girlfriend too. She too married and has a beautiful daughter.

Perhaps, God did rescue them.


I remember once when I was in anguish over some losses in my life. I heard God say to me that I had to walk through it. Then I saw this picture of a helicopter lowering a ladder to rescue someone from the top of a roof as a fierce deluge raged on all around. God contrasted it for me: I felt I was drowning and I desperately wanted to be airlifted out of my situation. But God said to go through it. I cried some more....until I realised that God was saying also that it will not last forever. I just needed to be brave, to soldier on; not avoid or wish it away. And then these familiar words:

"Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil. For You are with me, your rod and your staff, they comfort me." ~ Psalm 23

Strength and courage comes when we stop fleeing and turn to face what's before us.

There is such a thing called The . Necessary . Journey. It is the months or years we must endure in order to grow up:

1. we become aware of how naive we are

Just to assume that a person has the label "christian", "leader", "popular" means they are desirable, suitable or safe is plain naive. Persons are complex. We have to take time to know them.
Equally we can be naive about ourselves. Some of us will refuse to admit to our weaknesses and demons properly. We say it lightly and glibly and allow it to lurk around. They will take us down; we must be brave to face it. We must admit to how much we fear peer pressure, desire attention, compromise our ethics or values. Without a true admission and a devotion to go the other way, we may set ourselves up for a weak faith and life.

Truth and authenticity happens when we accept who we are and admit that we need to grow.

2. we see the world with clearer eyes

When I first read Hobbes' take that life is "brutish and short" I recoiled at it. But time has proven that philosopher quite right. Our brightest and best moments are fleeting. Some opportunities won't knock twice. We are incapable of making perfect decisions. Others have their own reasons, hurts and distortions though which they view life.
Equally, life shimmers with a strange light as each new day dawns. Often, our worst nightmares don't materialize. Strangers show us kindness. Hobbes got it half right then. There is Grace, there are miracles, there will be surprises.

Hope and Persistence grows within us when we realize that we can stand on Grace.

3. we make the defining choice of what to base our lives on
Everything can turn in so many ways. Change is always possible. A new trajectory or the old one with a wholly different outlook. We can choose trust, faith, rising up again. Or we can run, hide, cower, blame. We can be honest, brave, real or fake it.
We can turn to God and depend on Him or continue to try to make it on our own. The direction, colour, texture, and message of our lives emerges out of this most critical of all decisions.

Meaning and Purpose, Security and Generosity develops and impacts others as we continually renew our trust in God.


I still ask God sometimes, "just do something!".
And sometimes He asks me back, "what would you like to do about it?".

God still asks the best questions.