Sorry...but No, not this time.

no. 3: ENOUGH series

ENOUGH  to stuff. We know that. Buy only what you need. If something's been in your cupboard/larder/freezer  and hasn't seen the light of day/night, you really can give it away....

I found that to do any of these with resolve, i need to first SOLVE something: what do i really need to feel like a living, healthy, growing being?

Again, the Q is: 

what do i need to feel like a living, healthy, growing being?

Everyday, we are offered answers. It is the Q that sieves out the answers and helps us decide if we should bother with the information or not. 

If you are not a huge fan of that tropical fruit durian, you really couldn't care less to track down when they arrive in truckloads and where to buy the most succulent, fragrant (to some) and inexpensive ones.

This time, we need to say ENOUGH to answers offered to us.

At this season of your life, with all your grapple with (typical!) -- what brings you Life? What strengthens and keeps you healthy? What helps you grow as a person in wisdom, fortitude, faith?

I made a clear decision to stay home for my baby thirteen years ago. Many said it wasn't a good decision to pare down my flock from a few hundred to one. (I was a family church pastor). I wondered too about it. But my priority led me in that direction. My pastoral calling wasn't sacrificed - i just did much less of it; and was not on a church staff for a few years. Today, I am still a part-time staff. It is enough.

What began as a personal conviction had within it a larger Grace: God created space, time, and enough frustration (right moms?) for me to need much more of Him. It expanded my capacity and creativity to connect with God. 

No time to pray? There's the breastfeeding moment (when it goes well).
No time to study? There's her nap time.
No time to socialise? Too bad! {God gave this extrovert a special Grace here: it's called next door neighbours. i just made friends with all of them. But I welcome visitors and would take my girl with me anywhere} 

I worshipped with children's songs and lullabies. Came alive with the colour, simplicity and sheer power of children's books. I prayed God would accept that what I was able to prepare for any sermon or sharing would not be the same as when I have hours to think, research and write. God said, "I'll take it!". Out of my mundane, seemingly small life, God brought out His riches and showcased His strength. Above all, to keep going, I needed God a lot. Mothering and making a home is a very dynamic journey and one cannot quite say, "Just learn these four steps". 

And so, over the years, God has led me and formed me --and now thirteen years on.... I have grown confident of God's kind leadership over my life. Things still go awry as they do. People still fail to understand, or affirm. Others hoist expectations on you. But I have to say enough.
this . is . enough .  for me. I am sorry i cannot live up to your demands. I am afraid i don't have those answers. I may even be wrong; but I prefer to live by my convictions for this season: 

i feel alive when i have lots of quiet times with God and help others do the same

i am healthy when i have a good balance of resting and giving. being forgiven and forgiving, when i exercise my body, tenderise my soul and keep vigilant watch over my spirit

i grow when i read extensively and do my itty bit for my community and nation, when i give to others & dream of ways to heal the world

To live by my convictions I need to say Enough to many other attractions and distractions. I certainly don't get it all right. But the convictions hem me in on those days i get jittery and anxiety creeps in; or i get bamboozled by demands. It's Psalm 16's 

"the boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places, surely I have a delightful inheritance"  all over.

Shalom. It is enough.

We Have A Word For It !

Enough Series no. 2

I came across this word months back and printed it and put in on my wall: 

וּ׃דיֵנ   DAYAENU

It's the Hebrew word for 'enough'; 

which really today should be read "ENOUGH (already)!"

We have way too many :

things- each phone model churns out accessories we cannot even find landfills for

conveniences - to be convenient we need some intermediary like another page to bookmark
expectations - clue: unhappiness is proportionally related to what we feel we deserve
complaints (twin sister of expectations) - it's everywhere in the air
unmet needs - smart TV, that spa experience, that fulfilling job, the perfect parent, mate...

I was musing over the humble packet of tissue. It traces back to paper pulp and hence eventually to a tree somewhere. My mother used to carry a simple square handkerchief which also served as a purse at times. Today, the average woman's bag has a pouch for this, that, and wallet, purse, key holder, phone case... It's getting so that we need a bag organiser which makes it easy for us to simply plop everything in the many compartments; pull the whole thing out and put it in a whole new different bag for a whole new look (which is really less powerful than one's outlook).

The water and detergent needed to wash the humble hanky and then let generous Sun dry it surely will never equal the energy and raw materials used to create and replace all the many purses and pouches we have today.

Enough -- is said in practically all languages:

nok

assez

sapat

Дастаткова

足够

כמות מספקת, מידה מספקת

पर्याप्त

Nóg

十分な

충분 한

آن قدر

ما يكفي (arabic)

đủ (Vietnamese)

کافی (Turkish)

Tillräckligt (Swedish)

Yeterli

Digon o

Go leor

Genog

Cukup

Tarpeeksi

Bastante

Isa

just that it isn't common use anymore.

That day weeks ago when i discovered the word, i heard an invitation to cease, to desist and to resist. Yet it wasn't like a huge battle or something. It's more like settling back in a chair after a decent meal and saying, "thank you very much, that was very adequate and satisfying", then breathing deep and even slouching a little in my chair, all content.

What do you need to say ENOUGH to?

..tempter's target....in the USA

Enough Series no.1

There was a good amount to be done ... But even all wound up with grief, conversations, and decisions...there were gaps; which the Singaporean lot of us took as cue to go shopping.

This plus my tween daughter's struggle to find clothes her size and our budget. So off we went to Target, a cosy commoner one-stop shop. Previous experience tells me there will be good finds. It's like going to Makota in Malacca I guess.

Quick as a flash, my daughter picked out five pieces per our agreement for less than sixty dollars, mostly from the Clearance racks.

Then the challenge began: while some of what we wanted to get was legitimate; the attractive prices, array of options, quality of products (even the Made in China ones looked better in the USA),  quickly bumped us all confused between needs and wants. Two distinct moments arose: I stopped my younger brother to remind him to do a currency conversion, I stopped myself to talk with God. The word came easily enough as I stood at aisle 18 (?). 

"You simply don't need this". No qualifications. 

I could do with quite a bit...or ..okay, I could not. Indeed, I do not. 

It's easy; if I didn't see the stuff, I really would live on very fine. Wait, that's how temptation works, isn't it?  

See
Consider
Relish
Reach for it

I believe it happened in primordial times and everyday since.

We returned with same suitcases, more filled  --- but better yet, a heart more satisfied that I paused, listened and obeyed.