TREKKING THROUGH THE PSALMS

I'm two weeks late. 

I first sensed it when I looked over my Bible reading guide and it said Psalms. I've read and meditated and milked the Psalms for so much marrow, milk and molassy-sweetness over the years, so I turned my attention to preparing for Advent: the forty days leading up to Christmas. But God was waiting.

For in my journal one day, i was so heavy-hearted i wrote of BUGs: burdens, grief, uncertainties.

This year is filled with BUGs for me. Life goes on, I move on; but my Spirit-awakened heart refuses to just keep going. It broke and the tears came. And I hear the whisper, 'go to the Psalms'. 

The Psalms contain some of the oldest writings in the world: songs of worship. 

Worship is what we give worth and honour to.

The Psalms: personal, corporate; lament & praise; draws us to the truth of the human condition and wraps it in the One who alone can lift us beyond our limited, repeated sorrows.

I continue with my New Jerusalem Bible. {it is highly recommended that you read a different version especially when you feel the Bible getting too familiar & our ugly human pride gets in the way of truly listening as we read}

Psalm 1

v3 ~ every project succeeds
Really? I know how often i feel i failed. Quite a lot recently in fact.
But the One says to me "it's a success! Have you forgotten what I taught you success means? It's about the following, the working from your love, about leaning into the Wind at times and even sitting in the prison; where no one and nothing seems to go your way. Simply because you are Mine, and anyone who seeks to do my will cannot fail for I do not fail."

v5~ YHWH watches over the path of the upright
"It is hard to see the way you are going and I know the pain you feel with every step. But I see it; I am watching over it.  I, even I."

Selah {pause}

v2~ murmurs his law day and night.
this brought a chuckle to me. i think of those religious types who are taught to repeat words that secure salvation. And indeed, I am saved only when I repeat those truth-words: the 'great and precious promises' {2 Peter 1v4} that alone can keep my head turned right and my heart beating tender. The extrovert, take-it-all in part of me often subvert this as i get attracted and distracted.. like someone shared, 'I close my Bible and I forget what i just read'. Reading can be like that. But meeting with Someone usually lingers on.

Psalm 2

v12~ how blessed are all who take refuge in him
there is a little cross-reference to Proverbs 16 and it says, '...listens to YHWH and finds happiness'. {at this moment, the cat looks straight at me as if to say, 'well don't you already know that?'.

This verse comes at the end of an entire Psalm that contrasts the spurious plans of men with the solid Plan of God. We are planners we. Each day, Babel rises and we fight to justify our plans, our ways, our ideas, our dreams. And God says to the nations, to us, "come to your senses, learn your lesson!".

Where are we losing sensibility? In our pine, whine, dine culture, are we become senseless consumers - callous about deeper matters, careless about our attitudes, casual toward God?

What lesson does God want me, you, to learn?
i am a breakaway, runaway, flyaway... are you? My little plans for the days and the long years are little tributaries of God's grand rivers but sometimes I rush the rapids and lose sight of the River.
Perhaps for your, the little brook is drying up? Then, put on hiking boots and beat a trail to the River! Delay not!

Psalm 3

O i love how graphic this gets! The bad guys are so gonna get it. Slap them! Those thousand foes arraigned against me. Reduce them to  nothing.
Shield me.
You-are-the-One who holds my head up. I will not bow, demure, give in, give up.

I  will  look  up --- at You. to You.

Sisters all, we need the 3 S's !

My own journey to my feminine self, speaking to many and walking with individuals over the last decade – deepened my conviction that we need 3 S’s; each one of us.

But these 3 S’s cannot be bought or earned. Instead, they become ours when we are able to receive. And this-is-hard for most of us.

We are natural care-givers, community builders, romantics at heart. We bring beauty, colour and energy to homes, relationships, tasks.  But precisely so, we often find it hard to receive. After all, who gives? Everyone takes.

Plus if we scrub harder; we find that all our giving is a seeking – we want attention, approval, affection, affirmation.

She’s so thoughtful

What a gorgeous dress

 So gifted

How do you do it?

We want the 3 S/s: self-worth, security, significance.

Self-worth is of course now a famous make-up tagline: because you’re worth it! But they get it wrong. A hundred dollar bill will not cease to be worth a hundred dollar even if it got wet, wrinkled and lightly torn. This is the nature of worth. But we live in presentation culture. Recently, the world found its largest gem. It was discovered by a little African girl. The gem however is not hers though she found it. L' Incomparable the diamond  is now worth a whopping 55mil -- because of the process of clarity it underwent and the bejeweling to set it for presentation + all the marketing it generated. I wonder if anyone rewarded that little girl anything decent. In our market culture then, even if we are worth anything, we must showcase this worth with skincare and make up.

A short line from a Taiwanese drama I saw as a little girl has somehow stayed with me. In it two girlfriends were talking – about men. One of them was explaining her choice of man: “he can give me security” (he was the richer option).  But can he, truly? Security is elusive as long as we are counting on fallible humans to supply us with it.  People change, economies crash, love turns cold.

Some 980 million women and children live below the poverty line. Their dreams are basic. If they want to be noticed; it’s because they don’t want to miss any handouts. But for many of us who never ever really worry about staying alive; we who have clambered up Maslow’s pyramid; we crave the attention that will proclaim, “she’s really something!”.

Worth.Security.Significance.

We simply cannot live without them. So we will find them – somehow.

Unless ~

There is a way that they come to us – as whispers from beyond, gifts that turn up at our door....

The birthday surprise {I am worth celebrating}

The words that reassure {I am supported and defended}

The way we fight for our children {I make a difference}

Life offers us moments when we can choose to believe afresh that we have worth, are secure and have significance. But life also throws us all about and all of it can become gnarled and shredded.

So I dig deeper and track further to find a more steady spring of wellness… to that ~

“spring of living water, the cistern that holds water”  

Jeremiah 2v13

a Quiet Morning Log

7am 

My alarm goes off, I feel my cat’s warm furry, purring body. She’s so rested. I need to get up to where I learn rest – for my depths. What holds in every storm-tossed soul is the quiet centre.

730am 

the train is packed with humanity trying to awake and live. One lady is too tired and succumbs to sleep. Another is putting on her mascara. Another is catching up on her Korean drama. The younger set mostly have their ears plugged. Most of the rest and standing in silence but I sense the cacophony of souls as surely as I see the faces of wear and worry.

745am 

This month I have not received any confirmed registrations. And I am tempted to stay home when this happens. But I know that this is not just for others. It’s also for me: I have set a date with my Maker and I intend to show up. Sure, he’s everywhere; but we know – that often means we are nowhere near Him. The Psalmist words come to mind, “when can I go to meet with my God?”  This longing is in our hearts especially when things get too much. But perhaps if we asked this regularly and then met Him regularly; things may not get too much so quickly.

The old hymn I learnt from the Methodist church rises within me, “Take time to be holy, speak oft with Thy Lord..”. Yes, if anything is equally allotted to us it is the hours in a day: twenty-four. If you are so blessed that you don’t have to hold three jobs and labour from dawn to midnight; take time, make time, to be holy! Holiness is a force that grows with habit.

812am 

I walk briskly into the Cathedral, aware I am late-- and nearly missed her! One person showed up. She had written two emails with profuse apology that she’s not an early riser although she so much wants to experience this. Today, she tells me her husband apologies that he needs to set the alarm for six; and although a pre-believer, he offers to ride her to the Cathedral. She had heard me teach about Journaling and our spiritual growth and wanted to experience the Quiet Morning because at the session I taught, she had found a ‘freedom’.

As we sat, questions and concerns began to tumble out all over. I listened and then directed her on how to spend her morning, prayed and sent her off to be alone with God using the guided format I provide.

As I sat with God, I also prayed for her. She is sincere but there is much that can hinder her. Yet I have a quiet confidence – for God always shows up when we do!

915am 

I walk over quietly and sat near her. She raised her head and I motioned to join her. Her notepad had lines of words on it. We talked about the experience and  she shared with me astonishingly personal words she sensed God gave her. Still more questions; we talked and then I invited her to pray as we close the time. She was nervous but she complied and I heard an earnest, honest prayer that warmed my heart. We hugged and I send her off into the day ahead of her.

I turned to make my way home too.

Next Quiet Morning happens on: Nov 8^th. 

Pls email me at jenni.yt.hohuan@gmail.com if you want to participate.

and here's the music & words for the hymn  ~"take time to be holy"