Four words to bring order... and peace.

In the beginning

GOD

These first four words in Scripture establish for us two important truths:

1      1. There was a beginning.

Something happened that sparked, initiated, and ignited what came next. This also means that there was a pre-beginning; there is an unfolding, and probably, a conclusion coming at the end.

      2.  There was God at that point.

He was already in existence. He is the one who started things off. He made a move, spoke words, took dust and he ‘prepared, formed, fashioned’ (amplified bible).

kota kinabalu/mersilau by Joyce E Chow

These four words have over the years burrowed deep into my soul. They are not words that apply to creation alone. They are words that are real today.

Every situation I encounter, every surprise or setback – it has helped me recognize that this God who created, He is already there. I may be surprised and set-back; but not Him.

This is immense comfort, and hope.

In the original Hebrew, everything was in chaos. Then God stepped in and there was order.  Tell me that doesn't apply to our everyday lives? Chaos is so easy for us. We lose sight of our priorities. We step on toes. We forget promises. We lose our phones. We haven’t packed and cleaned for too long (and I don’t mean just our homes but also our hearts)… Chaos is always about to break out on us.

Some days, one too many things happen and we drown in a churning sea of how-to-get-all-this –done?!

Until – we pause – and ask God to please step in.  And he always does. He responds to invitations.

Isn’t it?

When you remember the sermon point.

When you recall that hastily written line in your journal.

When a tune grows into a song grows into worship.

When you remember that heart-felt prayer said over you.

Then -

Reprieve.

The chaos may be there; but its power to swallow you up has been denied because you have appealed to the Highest authority there is.

And, God is the God of beginnings. Right in the midst of the swirling chaos, God can begin things. 

Perhaps a new beginning as you recognize your weaknesses.  Perhaps a new beginning as you sort out your priotiries. Perhaps a new beginning as you fill up with hope and take courage to press on. 

Perhaps a new beginning as you anchor in on this:

The earth is the Lord’s, and all it contains, the world, and those who dwell in it. ~ Psalm 24

These words are a throwback to Genesis 1.

He started it. He takes care of it. He will lead it toward the end. We – are – His, whether we know and acknowledge it or not.

This has helped me to see, feel and pray differently. It’s hard to be me vs them. My colleagues, friends and even family members may be cause for my troubles and sorrows, but we all belong to, and will have to account to God our Maker. I cannot account for them. My own heart is sometimes far from my grasp and I need help to not fall into the all too common trap of self-deception. 

Before God then, as I invite Him to come and bring order in my chaos, I willingly open my heart to address - whatever - needs to be 

spoken to,

healed,

calmed,

and directed.

This week may be more of the same, or may throw up some curves... But, Remember - whatever, whoever, whenever,

in the beginning 

God…

So, steady, my heart. In the beginning GOD... {a song by Kari Jobe}

Lost, setback, and feeling your faith is small?

Lost.

Listen, when you live in a lost world, it is natural to sometimes feel the lost-ness.

The directional signs are all over the place. Fat is bad, fat is good. Go here, no, there! Do this – now! Save up for retirement. The trend is graphics, the trend is finance, the trend is start-ups.

Our ability to choose is sabotaged by the profusion of available choices.

And then, we stumble. Things go awry. Relationships hit a wall. Promises are forgotten, our hearts break.

Set.back. 

Sounds like all our steps led to nowhere. Sometimes it can even feel like after all the effort, conviction, and sacrifice; we regressed! After all, we are getting older and someone told us we were meant to move forward, to go from  ‘strength to strength’. Aw God, this is so darn disappointing!

Maybe I heard wrong. Maybe I did wrong. Maybe, my faith is too small. No, a small faith like a mustard seed moves mountains. Where is my faith if I am walking into mountains?

Go on and say it: I am disappointed. I am sad. I am mad. I am giving up.

It’s okay. These feelings happen: lost and setback, unsure, frightened, feeling vulnerable, wanting to let it all go, angry, resentful…

You are not being held by your feelings anyway. Not even by your faith. {I shall talk about where that comes in later}. You are being held by Love. Love is unafraid of your feelings. Love sees them, absorbs them, bears them.

Blessed be the Lord,
    who daily bears us up;
    God is our salvation.  Selah ~ Psalm 68v19

The fruit of pain is often cynicism. It is also the fruit of years. Growing older can make us more cynical as we encounter more of life and people.

\ˈsi-nə-ˌsi-zəm\

: cynical beliefs : beliefs that people are generally selfish and dishonest

So, just in case, we will not lay all our cards on the table. Just in case, I will withhold myself. Just in case, I will self-protect first.

The problem is, we were designed by God to be free, safe, and fully engaged. Life is an immersive experience. You find it and live it as you dive in. Holding back lets you see the water but not feel its power. To dive in, one will have to trust that the water will hold you up when you relax and let it. But we thrash about so!

God’s answer to this is so simple, we often miss it.

G-r-a-t-i-t-u-d-e.

Being grateful is a posture of dependence.

Being grateful is an exercise in defiance.

Being grateful is engaging with the Unseen and announcing its triumph over what we see.

Being grateful is laying down a traceable trail in this world of crisscrossed pathways.

It is hanging on to what little faith because that little faith is hanging on to a Great God who is holding on to you, with no intention of ever letting go.

Such that, we can,

give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you. ~ 1 Thess 5v17

God’s will is that we remain thankful because this is how we remain faithful.

Your feelings are real, but they are not truth. Tell them to Him who is all Grace and Truth. He will hold you, steady you, and as you pour your heart out, and begin to write down your thanks, He works things out – and we can see the good without straining.

Mellowing means texture, depth & strength

It is inescapable. We grow. We grow older.

I live in a young nation still. But she is getting older. In fact, she turns half a century next year. I am but a few years younger so I feel tethered to her and as she ages, so do I. Anyhow, I get plenty of help reminding me: mirror, advertisements, falling energy levels, increasing number of areas that ache, people calling me 'auntie' who are taller than me, aging parents-in-law.

But it isn't just our bodies that age. Our souls do too.

We describe people as growing mellow - referring to their loss of oomph and zest - a coming-to-terms with reality where people begin to trudge along wearily. This unfortunate image still trumps all other pictures of senior vitality. We mourn the loss of youth.

And no wonder. If we see life as something we must make the best of, growing old is very regressive and regrettable. We simply have less to wager on. So we grow frenetic trying to prepare for that retirement nest egg to make up for losses in youthfulness. 'Have money; will travel, see the world, live it up - still'.

In fact, growing old isn't so bad*. Every season of life will have its limits. The child cannot make decisions for himself. The youth cannot actualise his dreams just yet. The young adult is trying to make every spinning plate stay up in the air.

Accepting our limits is part of embracing life, and so having a sense of satisfaction.

Growing old is can be a time of great stability. One has figured out more of who one is. One has fought for, and discovered what is important. One has learnt to let go, to lay down, to lose at times. Life has taken on hues and textures not possible in the earlier years of gung-ho machismo.

People we have not given up on, and who have not given up on us, wear like comfortable cotton house clothes.

We have trembled and wept through pain and losses, realising that we have little control over what is precious, and that we cannot know all we are desperate to know. This gives us a certain positive invulnerability and we are on a more even keel.

We have known love's enemy is not hate but indifference - and been forced into the open by our own longing for love.

We have walked long with God and now allow Him to be God, more.

We are learning to live with mystery.

Hopefully, we are more forgiving, patient, generous and laugh more easily.

We have so many stories to tell to anyone who would listen.

We have lived.


I think of those who are even older. Who wouldn't think or write the thoughts I just did.

As a nation, we have a growing army of elderly. Not to be sidelined, but to be honoured as life veterans. Sure, not everyone of them is a sterling example of success. Many are poor and needy in fact. But they have weathered life and it has been their very ordinary days that added up to the colour and vibrancy we have today. It was the boring dad and mom who went to work and cooked the meals, who fretted over exams and cooled hot foreheads... they gave us something to stand on. It would be inhumane of us to sneer at their seeming lesser lives.

In a few encounters I had with the elderly, I realised what they lacked was the facility and vocabulary, not the heart, the thoughts and certainly, not the all too common human experiences of life. My own mother never had a chance to go to school but she had rock-hard determination to make sure we did. She had values that no one can tear from her soul. She had insights and perceptions that did not come from books and Ted talks. When I took the time to talk with her and listened, I feel her strength and her power of being.

Just this year, I heard two real-life stories of the old displaying such grace and courage. What's more, both are the supposedly non-expressive, insensitive Asian men. One, whose wife was very ill, stayed with her and one day lovingly held her hand and assured her that he will always be there. Then he turns to his children and assures them that as a couple they will commit to the same faith. His wife had just become a Christian a few weeks earlier.

The second man was struggling for his life in the hospital as he underwent a slew of investigations. In a rare more lucid moment, when his wife came to see him, he asked his wife to forgive and overlook his mistakes.

In this year of the horse, I am growing older. I won't even attempt to halt the process (though I may finally colour my hair) but with my little hand held firmly in a much larger One, I want to walk on in courage. This is a beautiful picture right here -

Strength and dignity are her clothing

and she smiles at the future ~ Proverbs 31v25

To my elders, I hope I am patient and respectful.
To those younger than me, I hope to be a source of wisdom and stability - and I won't let some young punk tell me I am less.

*not including those who are very poor and destitute - another post perhaps.