a thousand lights that won't lead us home.. but one that will : Christmas peace friends!

Every year, the main shopping belt in Singapore gets lit-to-the-max. Yes, it is Christmas, the season for shops and retailers to cast a wide net and gather a huge catch. Lights help here: those glorious baubles, stars, 3D castles, machine-generated snow... the gold, blue, red, diamante colours.

It is a beautiful and enchanting sight that lifts the soul, if for a few moments, to some higher plane of wonder, delight, and relish.

Yes, we even call in those arctic creatures, the reindeer to help rein in the crowds and gamely remind them of the ho-ho of it all - the goodness of giving and receiving.

Perhaps these lights draw us in and lift us because we are afraid of the dark and darkness. Which one of us has not had a frightful experience with that? The child begs for the light to stay on for monsters lurk in the dark. When we cannot see, our minds run a lil' wild.

But there are lights, and there are lights.

Leaving a lil night light is helpful enough, but there are lights we torch that can hurt us ~

...all you who light fires and provide yourselves with flaming torches,
go, walk in the light of your fires and of the torches you have set ablaze.
This is what you shall receive from my hand: you will lie down in torment.   

~ Isaiah 50v11

Major ouch.

A lack of peace,
a turning and a tossing,
a fearful anticipation.

fretting over gifts (we hope to have and wish to give)
worrying we may forget someone 'important'
feeling still angry, even hating
knowing deep within we are unforgiven and unforgiving
lonely
afraid as the days are turning into a new year and your plans are drafts

For everyone single one of these we may well have some plan, answer or defense made ready.
But our little torches of how to answer and 'don't dwell on it' won't suffice to get us to experience the angelic announcement over this season: peace on earth and goodwill to man.

You have no idea how much light you need if you won't consider how dark it can get.

No one brings a toy torch light or a half-filled gas lamp for a camping trip in the wilderness.The dark will soon overtake and it will be futile. We are camping for a while in a wide wilderness, en route home. Yes, we can build a campfire in this case. But sometimes. the journey takes us to deserts and strong winds and all we have is sun, moon and stars. The Bedouins learn to rest when it's too hot to travel and navigate by moonlight and stars.

But we? We just push on. City folk with our days made long by artificial light, our sense of prowess and control reiterated to us with every successful sale, every goal attained, every relationship milked. We push on. When we are not sure, we look inside our bag for another torch to light the way.

All this while, the darkness can be encroaching upon us. We wake up and we are shocked at the world news. What has our world come to?!

Christmas is God entering this world engulfed in darkness and piercing the dark to let in the Light.

The storytellers are right: it is an epic battle of dark and light.

A battle out there,yes, but really, it begins inside us. Each of us.

How about this Christmas we let the smaller lights remind us of the Great Light.

Jesus said,

I am the Light of the world, whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life. ~ John 8v12

In the wild as in the desert, no one travels alone. You file up and you want to make sure you follow a trustworthy guide. Jesus offers to lead us, to light the way. He invites us to fall in step.

Stop dashing around. Stop ignoring your heart's cries, aches and longings. The caverns of our soul is a huge space for Light to enter and shine around - as the darkness flees.

This Christmas, amid all the lights and sights, how about slowing down and sitting with Jesus, rest from the heat of the day and talk about your heart; and invite the Light in.

Peace on earth, goodwill to man - - because peace in us, goodwill to you!

Traveler's Views and Notes

~ an expensive trip for a frugal soul

the last two years we made long, costly trips. in 2012 i felt we needed to visit my brother in the USA. thankfully we did and enjoyed precious memories together: trying to ski, sitting by the fireplace, talking about the American elections, and most of all, the late night talks between us, about God. I still remember praying for snow for my son who has never seen that most magical sight: a snowfall. and just an hour before we needed to ride to the airport; there they came, floating down, gently at first! we grabbed our coats and dashed out the house to dance about in the falling of water in most beautiful forms! Hope seemed to bounce about us.

last june, i made a similar trip - but to bid him adieu from this side of heaven. a very different trip - back to the same lovely house of his on his sprawling yard; but this time it was sorting things out, crying, some laughing and as the family members poured in, food and more food; and more tears even as Grace wrapped around us and wove some fresh bonds.

earlier this year, the hubs and i while talking realised we never ever did have what is called a 'sabbatical'. still, we were grateful for the many pit-stops over the years to refuel and stay sane. then we thought, why not go to the one place we both love alot; and now that the kids are older, they will appreciate it more. New Zealand. Land of seas, sounds and sheep! 

but as i began to plan, i struggled. drawing out money to pay for trip to be with people we love makes sense to me. going on a trip just to enjoy ourselves felt so indulgent; especially when i am still learning Jesus' heart for the poor. i felt this strange conflict brewing in me. i wasn't sure where to place the line. my children have asked me before, "are we rich?". at first, my answer was "no". we were not rich by Singapore standards, when compared with many of our peers. But then, more recently, i have told them we are; because more than 80% of the world live with less than $10 a day.

so i kept checking back with the hubs our budget. can we really do this? 

we did it. we paid a tidy sum to-just-rest. it seems rather silly; but this is the state of our world. it tires

 us out so much. 

we skipped around animal poo on farms and talked with llamas, deer, sheep, chickens, ducks, seals, dogs, cats.. we drove or sat in an 11-hour train journey and went ooo and aah over the endless stretches of sea, rolling tussocks, sheep and cattle. we cooked and ate when we were hungry and basked in the long summer hours, exploring lakesides and glaciers. it was a lot of fun! we felt so enlivened to be so immersed in the beauty and power of creation. 

i had told the children why we are taking the trip: that we have both love the vast land; that there will be plenty for them to experience, that we will build great memories. i had reminded them of the expense and our values of not wasting and although i had thought to give some a little pocket change to spend; in the end, they both held back and didn't spend a cent on purchases! we came back just with ourselves, fattened by our wonderful experiences.

despite my inner struggle with the cost, amid the fears of spending alot and not getting a good return, the real and present danger of having to manage little tiffs and skirmishes of the heart..this was a trip held by Peace.

it was not so much about going away to get; but a making time and space to go deeper into something God had been seeking to deposit in our lives. Some times, we have to break our rhythms and even escape the scene to see and feel God's gifts deep enough they enter our beings.

At one point, i felt as if God himself stood between me and all my questions and anxieties and shielded me from the raucous soul-noises and just let me en-joy. a true vacation is one where you vacate the scene and just be.

and like the waters that are still reflect all the grandeur and beauty here, a quieted soul can take in the light and shape of all that is around and let them express without distorting them as rushing waters would.

~ wow, we did that?

i have a fear of heights while the hubs gets sick from motion. but i mounted a horse that must have been twelve hands tall and we took a small ski plane up to walk on snow upon ice! a lot of the time we felt too cold than we were used to; but mostly the weather permitted us to drive safely and enjoy the activities we did.

at mount cook, we were told the winds could get so strong that once the hotel windows all blew in and crashed. the hotel is solid reinforced steel and quite metallic and ugly-looking in order to survive the wild winds that come with such virgin territory. for the four little Singaporeans dizzy with delight? we had that "one fine, fantastic day" to fly out into the mountains the guide told us. 

young explorers at mount cook

without very precise planning {as i am not capable of it}  - we had moved in car, train, ship, horseback and on foot. we had lived in the city, in a monastery cradled in a valley, next to the sea, in the mountains and in a forest with deers around us!

Sometimes it's the journey that teaches you a lot about your destination ~ Drake.

Travel well friends!

Don't lose your 'ask-ability'...because you lose sight of God.

Dr Luke, who recorded as carefully as he can the events and words of Jesus included fourteen parables. In a few he prefaces the stories Jesus told by stating the purpose of the telling; like in chapter 18 -

Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up ~ Luke 18v1 

What intrigues me about this parable is how it ends.

For years I have heard this parable taught to me as a young person that this is about persistence. We must be persistent. 

But the ending -

However, when the Son of Man comes, will he find faith on the earth? ~v8

 is too drastic for a lesson on persistence.

No, this parable is about how we lack persistence.
It is a story that reveals how quickly we stop asking, how impatient we get for answers, how soon we resort to other sources for help.

Yes, our faith is often shaky, filmsy and short-breathed. It is a hyper-ventilating that resolves when we sense helps or solution nearing. It is a faith that may not be present when Christ comes looking out for it for we have traded it in for answers, fixes and escape routes.

God help me out of this mess...now!
Why aren't you giving me a mate?
How come others are prospering?

These cries are genuine, as is that poor widow's need for justice. In the parable, Jesus contrasts how a callous, godless human judge would - out of a desire to get rid of this vexation - do something for the widow. This are his words:

"Though I do not fear God nor regard man, yet because this widow troubles me I will avenge her, lest by her continual coming she weary me." ~ v4b-5

He couldn't care less about God or her. He cared for himself; and that is how the widow will get some reluctant help.

Jesus immediately contrasts this with God:

"And shall God not avenge His own elect who cry out day and night to Him, though he bears long with them?" ~ v7

God will settle scores for us.
God also bears with our cries for help.
+
Will Jesus find faith on earth in the end?

When we add these elements up, we see that this is a parable about whether we will persist in trusting God for justice when things go bad. It is about whether we will lose our ask-ability, because our asking is an outcome of our longing, and where we choose to turn to for answers.

The widow was convinced that her help would come from that judge and so she goes to him persistently.

Soul, sometimes God takes a while to show up.
Many times, his silence is shattering to us.
We wait long and it is easy to lose our desire to ask, to question if the asking is valid, to wonder if there are easier ways out.

You and I hand out the ipads and phones too quickly to quiet our restless kids.
You and I dish out answers too fast in the face of pain, suffering or ill-logic.
You and I are not God.

With God, there is a bearing with us.
With God, there is a definite outcome.
With God, there is a caring, involved justice system.

God does not distance himself. He does not operate on cold logic. He does not simply use some pre-determined formula.

In fact, this parable is dealing not so much with our asking - for our needs, what we call Petitions. It is talking about justice, about asking for the great and grand themes of life ala Les Miserables. It is about supplication, and intercession. In the closing days of human history as we know it when things get really rough, God calls us to remember His Justice and cling on.

And perhaps our asking for the daily stuff of life is deepening our capacity to trust God for the stuff that ultimately matters in eternity.


Soul, in your asking -
over days - you find your energy sapped.
over weeks - you see questions surface.
over months - you feel your heart breaking.
over years - you find your soul changing shape.

You come to a place beyond words. You sit in a spot where feelings seem suspended. You walk around like a bit lost, needing a home to rest in. 

This is when you will come to a fresh sighting of God; you are about to come alive in ways you never knew existed before.

So don't lose your ask-ability, because you are about to gain a fresh vision and a new lease of Life.

And when Jesus returns, you will run with joy into His broad arms that will scoop his faithful friend up!

*Scripture taken from NKJV & for a a list of the parables Jesus told {click here}.