10 Jan 2016

What God teaches us about Discipline so we can get it!






D-I-S-C-I-P-L-I-N-E.

If we won't discipline our thoughts, feelings, bodies, motivations and energies; they will overrun their banks. 





They will get unruly. They will fake a sense of freedom. They will lap you up and drown you under. 



I think that may be what happened way back in the Garden.

Before Eve reached out to accept the fruit and bite into it, she failed to rein in her imagination to the boundaries of obedience. Before Adam acquiesced and partook of it, he failed to retrieve the file called 'God has said' and let something else take over.

This is a mighty lesson for all our souls, and especially for us parents, teachers, leaders of all stripes.

If you are going to build your life, any life; then the big D word must feature prominently.

How is the million-dollar Q isn't it? Like this famous? The famous marshmallow test {if you have 4 minutes}


Which also means that the D word  connects Obedience, Free Will, Relational Trust and Rewards.


As a parent, coach, leader, I grapple with this for myself and others. And then eureka! Perhaps I can
take a leaf from the All-Wise!

Here's how God does it for his children; and we can imperfectly follow in it:

1. He accept us 
Before we could do a thing or feel even an itty-bit 'godly'; He sent his Son to die for us. It's a decision God made without reference to our condition or response.
I'm not the most diligent person ever; but God's acceptance stirs up a desire in me to be my best.

2. He gives us a vision
So much of what God says about his children don't make sense logically. While the children of Israel, yes, that bunch of wandering Arameans were stuck in the mire of their sins, God sends prophets who often painted pictures of incredulous future outcomes: rivers in the desert, peace, light to nations. If ever we whimper, God whispers, "You ain't see nothing yet".

when western Sahara meets the Atlantic..and how the waters shape it

3. He tells us there is a reward
God always leads by promises. Promised Land, Heavenly City. He invites, He draws, He woos. We continually confuse him with some other deity conjured by our guilt and fear; who scolds, pounces and withholds. 'No good thing will He withhold from those whose walk is upright' the Psalmist says. 'There is a crown of life' waiting. He even weaves rewards into the journey like celebrations of milestones. Maybe a rainbow, a surprise visit by a friend, a timely prayer, a kind helping hand, a new friendship.

4. He journeys with us
Isn't this our favourite part? The Immanuel bit. But before we get all chummy about it; let's remember God is not a tag-along. I have found so much relief and rest for my soul to remember that I am the passenger going for the ride here. Even so, I can particpate in the navigation, respond to the conversation, take in the views and record the sightings. Sometimes, i drift off and snooze even! But it takes discipline to stay on the road and not keep complaining about breaks!

5. He takes us through valleys and allows us to reap what we sow
We need to stop avoiding the tough stuff. They build muscle and stamina. We also need to understand and accept that the law of cause-and-effect is a universal law that the children of God are subject to as well. God is not SOS, heli-rescue, 'break the glass for emergency'. No one ever grows up who is always rescued.

6. He has a customised plan
This takes the cake! No cookie-cutter with the Creator. Run the race 'marked out for you'. We all run a common race; but each of us also has a particular pace, gait and even route (unless you like stepping on toes endlessly). This is so mercifully exciting! 


O look, my favourite! Now to reach for it...
And then, He gives us specifics for the 3 huge areas of our life:

your thoughts: renew them by anchoring back on your purpose
if something doesn't serve you, it's trivial and possibly a distraction. i don't store a lot of information like bargains and celebrities. they don't really impact my life direction or help me stay on course with my purpose to grow into who I am in Christ. instead, i check where my files are thin and weathered about God, my self-awareness, my love for others, my abilities and the needs of the world. I make sure i chuck material in those files regularly.

your feelings: redirect them by practising gratitude and praise
sounds holy-moly but would you rather hang around with a sulker or a smiler? From writing down gratitude on small slips, doing it on big charts, praying it out each night...find a way to remember to be thankful.

your time management: review regularly
slip-sliding is easy. Facebook and computer games can suddenly take up hours. Once every other week, just check in to see if your time reflects your priorities. If God is important, where in your schedule have you set aside them for it? If knowing your children better is important, where in your schedule have you placed that; and is watching TV with them the way to do it?
This is easy to apply to your work and finances. Use the priority principle.


Looks to me like Papa God has given us mighty ideas for parenting, for treating our fragile souls right and for being leaders who raise a missional people.


So, if you are looking to grow. You need the mighty D. There is no other way around it.

Thing is, besides the sloth juice that courses in our vein which makes our reflexes choose the easy way, there is plenty to weaken our resolve and cause our discipline to cave in.

This is why at the end of 2015, I did this Spirit-prompted exercise with the family.

What is one thing in the new year you will -

Start
Stop
Deepen


"... for God is not a god of confusion, but of peace..." ~ 1 Corinthians 14v33

"For God has not given us a spirit of timidity, but of power and love and discipline" ~ 2 Timothy 1v7 

5 Jan 2016

One weekly habit that may bring on a revolution for human thriving

I go to a local market once a week or so to eat a hearty Asian breakfast of prawn or wanton noodles, topped off with a cup of kopi-si, coffee with evaporated milk (I suppose it's our version of skim). At that hour, the seats fill with two main groups of people: those grabbing a bite before heading out to work, or the elderly who are able to make their way to the market for a leisurely breakfast.

Some of the elderly folk have now become familiar and share their stories with me, and as I gleaned, I sense my soul ripened in the shade of their life-lived-brave.*

 hawker centre


Today, I meet a lecturer at the market I recall has stepped away from her career to care for her aging and ailing father. We talked about Dementia and the elderly. It struck me how unprepared we are for every season of life, and how easily startled and prone to panic we are as a speci about changes that come with time -

We struggle as our children grow as if we were ever meant to keep them stuck to one phase.
We get all upset when the adolescents figure out their lives as they must.
We experience crazy tension and pull away when we join with another soul.
We feel the consequence of time as our bodies alert us to joint pains and our minds' filing cabinets haunt us even as we fumble to find the key to unlock them and retrieve that folder labeled 'who did I meet the other day?'.

This even though we know time and tide means we will move through these seasons, whether we like it or not. Why aren't we more prepared?

When we do prepare, why aren't we more human about it?

 Astute social commentators have warned us that our modern world of machines and gadgets will strip some of our humanity away and there's plenty of proof of that: we replace people with machines, we expect people to operate like machines, we measure people the way we measure machines, by output... and studies today show that even our minds are being fundamentally changed because of how we are tethered to our machines. [a good person to read is Jacques Ellul - French, and prgamatic!]. 

It looks like we won't beprepared still -- because we refuse to master the changes; but let them master us instead. 

family is what we have in the end, or not

Hospital talk is inevitable when we discuss the old. Her father was of robust health until an aneurysm slayed him. The medical prognosis wasn't cheerful and the hospital staff were dismissive and operated on the assumption that what she needed to do was quickly hire a live-in maid to care for the dad who will basically be dependent and subject to a diminished quality of life. But it was her father. She knew him. She knows what matters to him and she wants him to live as well, as he lived long.

There are those, the hospital tells her who are abandoned. The family becomes uncontactable.

What makes people abandon each other?


I return home to read my Scripture and I am in the Good News according to John. 

Jesus was near a pool where many invalid, lame and blind were gathered, for they hoped to get a dip in the pool's healing waters. Jesus singles out a man who he knows to be crippled for 38 years and asks him, "Do you want to get well?".


The man explains his difficulty. Of course he wants to be well but he cannot get to the pool without assistance.

I have heard many reactions to this story. Some blame the man for not being pro-active enough. Others suggest that he is one of those abandoned for his sinfulness. All these may be true; but let's read on to find the focal point of the story.

Jesus immediately spoke an authoritative and life-giving word and the man; probably feeling the healing, obediently takes up his mat and walks away well!


Jesus is not lauded for this act of mercy. The man did not even take notice of Jesus' features because he was unable to tell the religious leaders who had healed him!

Instead, Jesus was told: according to the system laid down by Moses in the law, you have sinned to work and caused that man to work, carrying his mat.

Jesus obviously knows the law, he explains it extensively in the rest of the chapter; but he chose to reach out to this crippled man and offer him wholeness.


I thought back to that ancient law: remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy.

'Holy' in the Bible is used on humans as an act of setting something apart; making it distinct, away from the regular, usual, typical.


Jesus chose that day to do something out of the ordinary: he refused to let the day get typical. He opposed the forces that kept that man crippled for 38 long years. He disrupted the day's order of business, social milling and religious observances to set a man free to live, and to have a chance to thrive.

Perhaps that is key to our thriving as a race. If once a week, we intentionally disrupt our self-absorbed routines at building our little empires of comfort, success and relief; and sought to really live. If we considered where we and those we know aren't well, alive or thriving; and act out of the ordinary about it.

Will families not be revolutionized by a weekly time of heart sharing, prayer and serving others?
Will our work-life not be revolutionsed by pulling away from the politics and grasping to a practice of empathy through prayer and caring actions?
Will our systems not be revolutionised if we introduce small and large ways to disrupt the usual faster, more, bigger; and choose intimate conversations, active listening, even slowly chewing our food?

A weekly habit of being slower, more intentional, more focused, can create within us a capacity that cannot be otherwise cultivated in our daily rush: the capacity to thrive as humans; full of creativity, passion and compassion.

And those of us who are children of God? Why not take a piece of his heart the way Jesus did and walk into the crowds, noticing those who are suffering, struggling, yearning - and risk a little backlash - to bring hope?


Yes, this weekly habit could bring about a deep sea change in your life and in our world.


*right click and select open in another tab/window to read this related post

28 Dec 2015

What I need to start a new year

What's the first thing you feel about 2016?




Or perhaps like me, you haven't even wrapped your head around 2015!

If you are kinda hazy about 2015; it's totally understandable.

We had the worst haze ever which made us wonder how our neighbourly relations will be in the days ahead. Our ruling party swept back into power and we wonder if it will be more of the same. To our North, while some are cashing in on the Ringgit's falling value, we know that an unstable situation will hurt us for we have trade ties for water, chicken and vegetables! Moving outwards, the larger world was on fire with violence, earthquakes and mass migrations. A news commentary says the more than million refugees flooding into Europe will redefine her forever. The USA Supreme court legalised gay marriages introducing obsolescence to our standard notion of 'family'.

The Straits Times calls it Epic Change & Upheaval.

It is clear that our world will never be the same again. What has changed still waits to unfold.

On the home lawns, I was deeply saddened to hear a young woman tell me about a divorce lawyer sweeping her arm across the vast shelves behind her to point out how many divorce cases she handles. Friends tell me they are struggling to find work. Parents raising children are wondering what 21st century-skills they need.

The word 'hurtling' keeps coming back to me.

:  to move rapidly or forcefullytransitive verb


What does one do when things seem to be moving inexorably, whizzing by and you are barely clutching on for dear life?

I reach for something that will hold on to me in case my holding on isn't strong enough.

"do not let your hearts be troubled...trust in God..." ~ John 14

Jesus tells us to trust because -

"I am going to prepare a place for you" ~v2

" I will come back and take you to be with me" ~ v3

"I am the way, the truth and the life.." ~v6

"You may ask for anything in my name, and I will do it" ~v14

"..the Father will give you.. to be with your forever - the Spirit of truth" ~v16


The comfort, assurance and strength we have lies in:
* a promise of a certain future
* a way to get there
* provision along the way
*help we need for the journey; to know the truth and live in it.

Wow.

in any language, we need it


Jesus reminds us, 

"Peace I leave with you...Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid" ~v27


Notice that last bit: do not be afraid.

O yes, we are so easily frightened. Will prices go up? Will their grades drop? Will my work be received? Can we maintain our lifestyle? Will terrorists make it to our shores? Will Singapore continue to prosper? Will my heart give up?

my fear of heights holds me back from one of these!


Don't; don't be afraid.

For fear holds us hostage and makes us less than who we are. Instead, let us drink deep of the peace and comfort given; so like the Psalmist we can say,

"I will have no fear of bad news; my heart is steadfast, trusting in the LORD." ~ 112v7

This is what I need for 2016. What about you?



Friends, an old song to start your new year off on the right note?

My Peace I Give To You - Jesus  {click to enjoy}