Navigating those steps in my unfolding destiny

When God wanted Adam and Eve to face the truth of their lives; He asked them a question: where are you?

God of course knew where they are. The question is: they needed to know.

They needed to know and confess that they are hiding.
They needed to know and confess that they are hiding because of what they have done.
They needed to know and realize what that hiding would mean for their future.

Similarly, if we want to take steps that are in sync with the Spirit who is working to unfold our destiny, we need to ask some relevant and revealing questions of ourselves.


In this and the next post, I want to share  4 questions we can use that will help us look deeper and realise where we may be at. I hope you will print/draw and place them somewhere you will remember to look at, pause and consider.


Q1. What is my current assignment and am i doing it with my whole heart?

At the end of the day, Jesus tells us he will look at our deeds. They matter because our deeds are an indication and manifestation of our values and priorities. God says that we cannot claim to love Him and fail to love those around us.

God has given each of us gifts, opportunities and even suffering to steward. As we accept and labour, we are being trained and transformed. 

God has given us a mandate to steward the earth: our relationships, resources and this physical earth. If we cannot be trusted with what we have been entrusted; God will not enlarge the scope of our stewardship; and He wants to! This is not a matter or pride, but a matter of real needs that need to be met by women (and men) who are ready to act. 

Q2. How can I keep my heart pure to be able to hear God? 

Everyday, our heart not only pumps millions of times to keep us alive, it also absorbs a lot from all we experience. Our hearts are often cluttered and burdened with hurt, anger, sadness, regret, and doubt. Carrying around a heavy heart will affect our ability to commune with God deeply and hear him.

Find a way to be still and hear your own heart, to unburden yourself regularly before God. The early Christians did this every evening with a short time of quiet meditation. Can you include something like this in your system of discipline?

I will share 2 more helpful Qs in the next post. To make sure you get it, type your email in the box provided on the right bar.

Here are some further readings that may help you (simply right click on link):


Doing God's Will when your emotions are helter-skelter

When I feel my faith isn't enough

Do share your thoughts in the comments! 

The powerful truth about earthquakes - in our souls - why we are armed and the only way to true disarmament.

Physical quakes are the plain-speak of the reality of life. It is a true and honest metaphor for the upheaval, breakage and wreckage we see in the fault lines within our souls and between us.

A quake just struck Italy.

In fact, quakes happen with astonishing regularity - list of quakes for 2016 up to mid August - and we would be hopelessly disheartened to know about each one. 

It's been slight over a year now when Nepal practically fell apart from a richter 7.3 quake. The images recently portrayed in a CNA docu Nepal Living Dangerously are even more tragic because it is a people who are abandoned. The aid had arrived; but there was no proper bureaucracy and machinery to distribute it. People continue to live dislocated, lost, on less than subsistence.

 We are familiar with the story by now. Our vulnerability to forces that surprise us and the impact of the decisions by those in power on the ruled and governed.

But before we point to the powers there be; I remind us we are all at least a government over one: our self.

fault line :  something resembling a fault :  split, rift 

The fault line is the point of weakness. 


Within our souls lie many points of weaknesses -

self-doubt
self-loathing
self-hate

It's hard to recognise, much less admit that these do live within our castles of being; which we have painstakingly built, renovated and decorated. We haven't been schooled in the knowing of our hearts and the speaking of our souls. Instead, it's "look at my strengths! See my passion! Watch me fly!" - and we know our strengths easily become weakness, our passions fizzle and we are often, really flightless birds.


The person we must be at peace with is ourselves.

Looking endlessly to others to tell us we are O.K. won't work because we all seek the same, and very few of us can offer the consolation and assurance for we are aware of these very real fault lines within; and often more worried and exhausted by the tension and unrest we feel; and the possibility that a rift will occur.


And then there are the many points of weaknesses between us. Yes we laugh, we share, we work hard together. But let's face it, good friends part way, as do team-mates and soul-mates.

What we forget often is that the dynamic between us is the outcome of the dynamic within us first.

It is the man at peace who lets other have their peace.
It is the man at peace who embraces others.

So we are armed, and dangerous.

Armed to defend against the faults within us. We rationalise, explain away, blame, attribute to what is outside for what is really going on inside us.

We are also armed to fight when there are tectonic shifts. Suddenly, it is you versus me. Your territory, your burden, your portion, your right....

You versus me
We versus them

That's our way world!

Alas, that's the world we are so used to, we bring it to church too. So many sermons I have heard and preached a few are about defining us-against-them. It is needful to define and often that means a need to draw distinctions. But if we are not careful, we are basically training more sword bearers. O LORD for the day when You shall bring this to pass -

"...they shall beat their swords into plowshares, and their spears into pruning hooks; nation shall not lift up sword against nation, neither shall they learn war anymore." ~ Isaiah 2v4

In the meantime, with terror rising, once peaceful folks are starting to purchase arms to protect themselves.

this kind of guide?

Why such a move is wrongheaded-

"...for all who draw the sword will die by the sword" ~ Jesus in Matthew 26v52"I tell you, my friends, do not be afraid of those who kill the body and after that can do no more" ~ Luke 12v4

Jesus tells us there is something far more fearful than being physically killed. Our bodily, physical existence is limited and will end. The thing to truly fear for is the state of our soul.

Violence is never the solution.
Not in personal salvation (working yourself to death trying to be righteous).
Not in parenting.
Not in politics.

These are concentric circles radiating outwards from the centre of the individual person; the soul. If anything out there is going to improve, be made right, move towards integrity and harmony; it has to begin within us.

Alas, each of us is a long way to peace within our bosoms.

Perhaps, peace is not an attainment (the Nobel Peace Prize?). It is a posture. A posture is how we present and respond because we have learnt to control and direct.

posture - a conscious mental or outward behavioral attitude [Merriam Webster]

It takes time to correct, align, strengthen a posture; until it becomes natural, at ease. It requires the right exercises to create new muscle memory and even cause some disruptive pain for a bit before a new, better, way is established.

Until then, tremors, tension and even earthquakes may occur. We certainly want to avoid all of these; but in truth; they provide very pertinent information:

Energy released during earthquakes (seismic energy) provides much information about Earth’s interior 

How is your Interior life?
How are your feeling today?


related reads {right click to open in a new window to read (later)}: 
when your soul is in grief
a longer read: an account of soul care - a retreat experience
an encouragement for old-er souls
a soul care series with Jesus


May we all be able to say with increasing equanimity, It is well with my soul (song) - grab your ear phones!"

and for those who prefer a visual, here is art:
beautiful image of swords into ploughs by Sharile Monnier



Finally, pause to pray that such scenes will multiply:

Why my single friend you are so powerful!

I have been thinking of you my dear single friend.

I am not saying this to console.
I am not saying this because I envy your freedom to decide nearly everything in life on your own.
I am not saying this because I am unhappy (I am grateful and gratified though I struggle).

But I deeply believe you are so powerful.

Your power lies in your being one. Singularity is a powerful thing. 'One' as we all know is a mighty numero Uno: first, unfettered, focused. Single mindedness, being able to zero in on an arena.

Eberhard Arnold:

If the heart is not clear and undivided – “single,” as Jesus put it – then it is weak, flabby, and indolent, incapable of accepting God’s will, of making important decisions, or of taking strong action. That is the reason why Jesus attached the greatest significance to singleness of heart, simplicity, unity, solidarity, and decisiveness.

Purity of heart is nothing else than absolute integrity, which can overcome desires that enervate and divide. Determined single-heartedness is what the heart needs in order to be receptive, truthful and upright, confident and brave, firm and strong.

(Getting two hearts, minds and wills to be singular is a gargantuan task few attain to honestly. I am forever figuring out how this marital 'one-ness' works!)


Consider what this means for all your choices and decisions. It is really up to you.

This is power.

Yes, you can get scared. You wish you had someone to discuss it with (make that someone who will understand and agree), someone to fall back on...but a ring on the finger, a walk down the aisle doesn't guarantee this power. It is actually still the same. You have to invest, build, repair critical relationships.

As a single, you can choose multiple such relationships and tinker with your time and energy to make each relationship work well. You can have friendships that are solidly invested in, community that you are actively building, peer and older mentors (in the flesh or some other forms eg books)....

All you gotta do is  d-e-c-i-d-e.

Decision-making is after all, the most incredible gift God has endowed us. Free Will. Choice.

You see, if I cared about issues of justice but my spouse doesn't to the same extent or degree; the scope for the range of choices I have is already defined. Even if he would agree to let me go off and do something about it... how long, before the relationship strains? I have not included children into the equation.

This is why:

"I want you to live as free of complications as possible. When you’re unmarried, you’re free to concentrate on simply pleasing the Master. Marriage involves you in all the nuts and bolts of domestic life and in wanting to please your spouse, leading to so many more demands on your attention. The time and energy that married people spend on caring for and nurturing each other, the unmarried can spend in becoming whole and holy instruments of God. I’m trying to be helpful and make it as easy as possible for you, not make things harder. All I want is for you to be able to develop a way of life in which you can spend plenty of time together with the Master without a lot of distractions" ~ ~ 2 Corinthians 7v32-25 (The Message version)

But -- loneliness.

Two weeks ago, I went on a personal retreat and did a bit of an unusual thing. I chose not to go to a regular retreat centre; but checked into a hostel downtown. I felt a strange draw to do it. I actually found a lovely hostel that had quite cosy spaces for me to sit, journal and pray in the aircon, while looking out onto the bustling street!

But what caught me a little unprepared was meal time. I walked out and seeing that the street had eatery after eatery; finally settled into one. A lady sat at the next table; by herself.

This is when it struck me.

I have taken the reality of eating with someone else for granted. She sat alone. I sat alone. Glancing at the menu wasn't much help. Unlike some places that offer a one-dish meal; this menu had nothing of that sort. I ordered a soup and it turned out to be large enough for at least two... not wanting to waste, I offered the waitress some of the soup!

I prayed for you right then my single friend - that the pangs of loneliness will not get the better of you.

Loneliness: having someone near, around, or with you, doesn't always banish it though. I found that experiencing loneliness when you expect not to be lonely is very painful too.

Loneliness is best combated when I take my eyes off myself and avoid throwing a pity-party. It is driven away when one offers company - maybe being physically with someone, or perhaps doing something for someone. Holding someone else in our hearts and minds crowd out loneliness pretty effectively.

Surely there's an older person in the neighborhood who is lonely? A child who would enjoy being read to, a letter to write and so on....

Dietrich Bonhoeffer says this:

Pain is a holy angel who shows us treasures that would otherwise remain forever hidden; through him men and women have become greater than through all the joys of the world. It must be so and I tell myself this in my present situation over and over again. The pain of suffering and of longing, which can often be felt even physically, must be there, and we cannot and need not talk it away. But it needs to be overcome every time, and thus there is an even holier angel than the one of pain; that is, the one of joy in God.

These deep words:

"The gift of unity, whether with other people or with God, does not depend in any way on marriage. In fact, the New Testament teaches that a deeper dedication to Christ may be found by giving up marriage for the sake of the kingdom of God.

Those who renounce everything for Jesus, including the gift of marriage, are given a great promise by him: he will be especially near to them at his return (Rev. 14:1–5).

Whether such people find themselves without a life partner because of abandonment, death, or lack of opportunity, they can find a much greater calling than marriage if they are able to accept their singleness in the depths of their hearts. They can dedicate their lives in a special way to undivided service for God’s kingdom." (read the rest of this here: the service of singleness)

My dear friend, this is your discovery, your adventure with God, your journey. But I want to help you slay the lies that you are un-like, poorer, less. Plain lies. I want to encourage you my single friend - to see the potential that lies within your heart.


And, let's have dinner sometime!