iphone 6, what we do everyday, jeremiah the prophet and leaving a legacy

Yes, I am going to attempt to link all these disparate pieces of the universe!

I have never ever queued for any tech gadget or collectible toy in my life before and for the most part, sorry, I think it's pretty foolish to spend precious life-time waiting for something that simply, won't last, even if it was a limited-edition-thingamajig and may earn you some good bucks later over ebay.

Meanwhile, over in my cave-woman existence, the fiery exchange between a hounded prophet and his God is raising the spiritual temperature for me as God sounds to me like He is yelling -

"My people have committed two sins: they have forsaken me the spring of living water, and have dug their own cisterns, broken cisterns that cannot hold water." ~ 2v13 

"I have planted you like a choice vine, of sound and reliable stock. How then did you turn against me into a corrupt, wild vine?" ~ 2v21 

"..these people have stubborn and rebellious hearts; they have turned aside and gone away. They do not say to themselves 'let us fear the LORD our God..' Should I not punish them for this?"  ~5v21 

"Are they not rather harming themselves..?" ~ 7v19 

"Why does Jerusalem always turn away?" ~8v5

God is the heartbroken parent, the spurned lover, the usurped monarch - and - He both warns his people of impending doom and pleads with them to repent. In the mix, he also promises a wholly different future! It is a 'mixed message' because that's what it's like when we open our heart: the truth is multi-layered and it tumbles out like this complex puzzle; not a neat algorithm.

There are exchanges, deals, and transactions that go on each day. But they do not inhabit the same worlds. The question is, which world is more real? Which world is the one to put our heart and hardwork into so that it becomes our legacy?

Make no mistake. We all leave legacies.

legacy: something transmitted by or received from an ancestor or predecessor or from the past

Some of us leave legacies of hope. Or perhaps perseverance. My mother left us an incredible legacy of resourcefulness; she always found enough to feed us (barely) and ensured we went to school. In this way she also left us a legacy of living by values and not by means.

Alas, some would leave a legacy of neglect, avoidance, and fear.

My girlfriend grappled for three years as her home felt overtaken by a critical air and mistrust built up. It was a combination of many factors; including a grieving mother-in-law who would not let go her hurt and resentment. Living under the same roof also surfaced the unresolved issues between her and her son. It was indeed painful to watch my friend struggle as she sought to love but felt constantly rebuffed. Thankfully, she found strength to resist the drag into the daily emotional tussle and over time, shifted gears from her frustration to her vision.

Our legacies are generational ties that are meant to bond the generations. If we focus on that which is fleeting, we communicate and eventually leave a legacy that does not give strength to our children and their children to come.

Yet we will discover, as my friend did, that our visions are gifts from God to lead us down the paths of righteousness and as we do the small things right, God sets into motion the larger changes of the heart that we simply could not achieve.

A few months ago, this mother-in-law agreed to move out; and she apologised and thanked my friend for her stay.

Only so much can occupy our attention at a time. Multi-taskers beware! You can turn your precious attention away from the fluff and fritter each day to the deeper, eternal quest. The exchange between Jeremiah/God/Israel is not some ancient historical relic for the exercise of our minds. The strong words found there are like tinder that can set our souls ablaze and set us on a trajectory that creates a blazing legacy.

Listen:

"..be my people for my renown and praise and honor" ~13v11

'..blessed is the man who trsusts in the LORD, whose confidence is in him. he will be like a tree planted by the water that sends out its roots by the stream. It does not fear when heat comes; its leaves are always green. it has no worries in a year of drought, and never fails to bear fruit." ~17v7f

Here is a call to live for something larger than ourselves. I am grappling afresh with this. After many years of being zealous, suffering burns and facing setbacks; it is not the easiest thing to believe, to stand and to fight. But you get this: nothing, absolutely nothing compares with this.

And the beautiful picture of this tree that doesn't fear!

This is legacy, setting our hearts on a huge vision, each day living for the Dream, and finding our hearts not overcome by fear.

No new phone for me; but God, a renewed heart please.

How to keep on: be your self {but beware} & when it's wrong to live for others /

Please, be -- your.self -- but do read carefully what I mean by it.

My book Shed Those Leaves asserted boldly, "emerge to be your true self..". When the publisher showed me the finished product and it was classified as 'self-help'; I wanted to weep.

This is a world about helping yourself to all the Turkish delights*, the possibilities, the dreams, the passions. So powerful is this notion that even God is said to help those who help themselves. And of course we see how destructive it can be; that our default self-mode is perniciously self-ish.

Yet here I am again, asking you to be  your.self.

It is a dangerous thing to call people to. I asked myself: isn't this the privilege of the rich, first-world, high up Maslow's hierarchy, the reserve of those who have arrived; the creme de la creme of society? It is a luxury; or is it?

Here's a hint of the answer: our accouterments and achievements often conceal more than reveal who we are. I have found the poor to be more at ease with themselves and often their raw, rough edges are far more lively than the culturally smoothed ones of the respectable.

Also, we preach a gospel of a personal love, of each made uniquely in the Image. How can we then refuse to witness to the diversity and variety? How can you relate to God except by being who you are? Wouldn't we be impoverished if you and I refuse the courage to be who God made us?

But what does it mean? How do we become our selves?

Recently I wrote an old professor friend who was my pastor for the few critical years when I was training for ministry to update him about a missionary who had left her family and chosen to come out and to pursue a new relationship. She leaves in her wake broken families; biological and spiritual. People are angry, bewildered, troubled, burdened. I was astounded that in reply, he told me of others he knows personally and through contacts; many older, who have done just the same. These people have all gone off to be their "true selves".

We read such stories and easily mock them for being foolish, selfish, willful and even  treacherous. Some speculate if they really knew God. Sure, there are instances that may be so (but it isn't up to us to conclude). I am not going to say I have the answers. But I do not take these stories lightly. Such drastic departures, a disruption, a whole different trajectory isn't a walk in the park. To come to a day when you feel like your life is fraudulent is a terrifying thing. It is to have everything from under your feet snatched away. There is a crumbling of the soul and an intense void and vulnerability that happens. Like a distracted sheep, a person asking such deep questions about their lives, desperate for answers -- can become easy prey.

It reminds me of teens - those bewildering, frustrating creatures who are undergoing a process of identity formation in earnest. The teen years are tumultuous years. In a way; individuals who suddenly question their lives at the most fundamental levels are not in mid-life crisis as they are returning to a teen phase. Perhaps, there is a deep need in us to journey well, with integrity though every phase of our lives; and for some of us, a failure to do so catches up on us. 

I notice something else. The stories I am getting have come mostly from people who have "lived for others" - pastors, missionaries, church planters etc. I wonder about the connection.

Each of us, have been raised to feel the eyes of others on us 24/7 - to varying degrees. But the spiritual person, a spiritual leader, often feels a responsibility to live well, to shine for Jesus, to be a good witness more so than the average Joe. And I have seen so many unwilling, unhappy ones.

As a teenager, I used to think it must be so boring that all Christians turned out to be like Jesus! I remember going to God to tell him I wasn't so keen on the idea that I had to be his ambassador - not just because I lacked confidence, but because it felt like I would be curbed somehow. 

I had a serious choice to make. [notice the teen negotiation going on]. I would say this, it is an ongoing choice. Following Christ is a daily affair as much as there are significant moments of decisive action.

But what happens when we are pressurized to make a choice? What happens when we don't really dare to look into our hearts to see if we really want the choice; and it is the inexorable pace of life that sends us moving along? What then? Such a person is a trapped soul. He wakes up one day and wonders how he got to where he is.

Despite all appearances, the trapped soul is also one who never really takes sides. He is forever sitting on the fence of trying to please others and fearing for one's bite of the pie, reputation, comfort, status quo (that works).

The trapped soul is not free to really enter into community with others, and also never really enjoys solitude where facing one's true state can be deeply unsettling.

At some point, the teenager realises that he must hack a path and learn to manage this thing called a paradox: having one's way doesn't mean backing away from others.

Jesus taught powerfully on the paradox:

Unless a seed falls to the ground and dies, it remains but a seed... - John 12v24

All potential in the seed will never be realized if the seed refuses to die. What seems contradictory is what works sometimes! 

Jesus modelled this amazing truth for us ultimately: the victory of the Resurrection came through the torment of a most cruel and unjust death, where all seems lost.

This need to be our selves while being deeply engaged in community - where there is a great deal of pressure to conform - is a hard act. Both ends are tough; yet it is this paradoxical way of life - modelled by Jesus - that brings out who we truly are and gives us a measure of freedom on this side of heaven.

Now think how hard it is for those who live in missionary situations and those in leadership.

Do they have a cell group to hang out with come Friday night?
Do people relate to them as persons and not for the roles they play and the stuff they do?
Do they get some latitude to lose their cool, to drink one more beer, to seemingly idle?

It can be unnatural, unreal, and untrue.

I think we need to stop expecting of others what we are unwilling to do.

Many years ago, my church sent a couple of us to visit a single lady missionary in Africa. I was at the end of my first year in seminary and excited about such a trip. The importance of the trip slowly dawned on me months after I returned. Besides the impact of seeing what drastic cultural adjustments she had to go through; a poignant moment was when I spoke to her in a Chinese dialect, whereupon she burst into tears. "So long, so long, I haven't heard Cantonese" she muttered apologetically.

We all need safe places to be ourselves - works in progress. In my last post, I urged us to be a bother to our brothers and sisters. Articulating our need for others to pray, to care for our soul, to offer practical support is being human. It is being real. It is what builds community - that sense that we belong together and need each other.

But we also need to be given the space to pull away from community because the discovery of who you are as God made you and sees you to be is very much a journey taken with God alone. Only God knows who we are. We are His children who carry His name and His 'DNA' and even Saint Paul considered that he could only see dimly.

We need divine revelation, guidance, and encouragement to find out who we truly are.

Too many of us allow the following to tell us who we are:

Pains
Regrets
Memories
Expectations
Ambition
Successes

All of these are but indicators. Only One can decode them rightly for us.

Jesus once responded to the religious elite about the Sabbath. He told the story of David, famously described by no less that Holy Writ as a man after God's heart, eating the bread in the temple coz he and his men were hungry. That's right; Jesus was saying, "David, he broke the law. But he did it not in contempt of the law; but because he got what the law was about. " Then Jesus said, "Don't condemn the guiltless". {Matthew 12}.

The religious elite wanted to keep the law, conform to what they thought were rules that would ensure their salvation. They never got to the heart of things. They mistook the indicators for the message that lay behind them.

What is God trying to say to you through your

Discontent -
Anger -
Sadness -
Loss -

All of us labour under the weight of mutual expectations, which are in turn ladened with the added pressure of past experiences. It therefore takes both courage and discipline to see the state of our soul, bare it before God and perhaps a mature spiritual director/pastor, and learn to do this:

I waited patiently for the LORD
And he inclined to me and heard my cry {what a lovely picture right here}
HE brought me up out of the pit of destruction, out of the miry clay
And he set my feet upon a rock
Making my footsteps firm.
He put a NEW song in my mouth,
A song of praise to our God;
Many will see and fearAnd will trust in the LORD - Psalm 40v1-3

Do you see the process?

Did you get that lovely picture of God's tenderness - bending down to hear you?

Do you want God to give you the stability?

Do you desire firm footsteps, a song to sing, and many hearts to bless?

I worried when writing Shed that I would be read as advocating self-cent redness. It was a distinct possibility when readers with evangelical sensibilities read words like 'self'. It was hard work trying to make the message clear, and honestly I feel now that the book could do with more polish. But I also needed to trust and rest in the truth to assert itself to those who would read with an open mind and heart.

We need as God's people to grow up by being the community we need each other to be.

We need as God's child to grow up to be who God made us.

This means that we need to figure out for our lives how to develop a healthy rhythm of being by ourselves with God and being with others.

It means that church needs to teach and guide people towards this rhythm.

It means we must be less busy.

It means we need safe places and people to talk with.

It means we must value and treasure ourselves rightly, and more.

It means we must dig deeper into Scripture, prayer and history to find out what selfhood and personhood means or get hijacked and confused by popular notions.



What else does it mean….for you?

We need to learn how to live with paradox.

The paradox that we need both solitude and community, action and rest, one and many. The paradox that the self is a bold declaration of God's Creative wonders but also a shy and slow emergence. The paradox that we can be so much more and yet on this side of heaven, never quite get the full picture. The paradox that we will find ourselves so different (being like Jesus) and yet still so much the same.

The servant-King.

The Lion-lamb.

The dead-Resurrected Saviour.

 It's a bit of a tight rope - and I hear that tight rope walkers make it across safely because of two things: they keep their eyes on the end, and they carry a little burden - an umbrella, a pole - that weighs them down a bit.

More food for thought.

*the candied yumminess that made young Edward lose his bearings and play into the White witch's game (Chronicles of Narnia, C.S. Lewis)

Future ready?

I suppose some things will remain.

We certainly hope so: those jobs that carry prestige and bring in the moolah - bankers, doctors, engineers, lawyers, vets... The Professionals.

Some of us grudgingly admit that a 'proper job' is acceptable and can be a source of pride: designers, dancers, singers... The Presentables.

But what if your child and you are clueless about what the trajectory looks like? Is it time to panic?

How do we work out the tension between wanting our kids to have a life (and especially a childhood) and a future that we don't even know about?

We have heard enough about how fast the pace of change is. Later this year, we may have a wristband that can transmit your phone image and you can swipe your arm!

Some of us cheer, some will jeer, others will find it just plain queer that such an 'innovation' is required at all [not to mention the Evangelical obsession with last days and the anti-Christ].


But we are mostly thinking of change in terms of product innovation. There is another change afoot.

This video speaks of change based on current trajectory and it's mighty exciting and scary at once.


Yet if we pay attention to the news; this trajectory may have serious tangents and disruptions-

The economy isn't working well anymore.

There aren't enough real jobs.

 We haven't had any real innovation for a while (though many projects are at the cusp of success if they could have funding - and many for good causes, such as cleaning up the seas).

 There is rising discontent on multiple levels in many societies, poor and affluent.

 A property magnate thinks he can be the American president.

 There are alternative models of business and financing via the Internet that parallels or may overtake traditional markets.

There is cause for much worry - if - we sit around and expect things to be fixed for us.


How shall we raise our children to be future ready?


You remember how at some point, you asked, "what is the point of studying this?".
It's a question prompted by sloth and some real inquiry. We used to moan a little then get on with it.
Today, when kids ask the question, it's kinda like us; but they are onto more. They already live in a different world than us. We inhabit the same spaces but do not see and interpret them the same way.

Perhaps then, what we need is to stop imagining a future we cannot quite see; but get into heads and hearts more to see the future the way they are envisaging it. More than once my mighty teen has said, "Mom, it won't be like that". It gave me pause. 

We should bring the great unknown into out discussion, and then, read the amazing legacies of exploration.

scaling everest
braving the antartic
crossing the seas
plumbing the depths

read about these -

scientists
adventurers
biologists
trekkers
missionaries

If it's going to be new territory, perhaps the best way to be future ready is to be inspired to see the future as a space to be explored and conquered. It is best to prepare to develop grit, compassion, and collaboration. It is necessary to have basic survival skills honed: reading, problem-solving, relatonal intelligence, self-care. It is time to face the fears and demons. It is time to find a reason for living.

And I have found that I need to keep seeking my own reason for living in order to believe in life, in my place here, and not be overwhelmed. I guess I am modeling for my children how to face the future.


I'm thinking this is how best to be future ready. What about you?

vacation

It's the time of the year when everyone who has any means talks about vacation. The standard Q is "where do you plan to go?".
Vacation - tours to hot popular places, getaways, family hols..sound sometimes pretty vacant. We go with our hearts full and return mostly the same.
Someone once said that we wont die from over-information. we will die from lack of appreciation.
What exactly about those places do we appreciate? Cheaper prices? Local cultures? Different foods? Cooler weather. We treat everything as utility. Go where it is useful for us - coz it's cooler, cheaper, popular etc.
I feel weary of this attitude. But I want my vacation too: a good rest break, a new scenery to rejuvenate my senses.. i dislike the mad dash for good deals...and now i have no plans and little funds (due to my toilet repair
saga)...ha!
Also, i dont think going to someone else's land and using all that resources (flight fuel etc) is really justifiable sometimes..since when did we get the idea we need and deserve these things?
What is it that makes our lives rich and full, meaningful and powerrful?
A vacation perhaps. Or perhaps the choice to NOT take one and give away to those in need...
What do you think?
O please - let's go appreciate what's before us first...!
Happy holidays!

Write Woes

This happens way-too-often. It is not acceptable; but I do not at the moment have any inkling what the real solution is. Of course, I can think up a good number of reasons for why it happens. But thinking up reasons do not naturally lead to a solution.

It is true that being a relatively weak swimmer and generally afraid of the sensation where I am not grounded, I must at least be tethered to something reliable, like a building. I did try diving once, and in a rather foolish manner too. The jolly folk took me to a swimming pool, taught me in an hour about how to breathe only through my mouth, and to beware of some oxygen bubble, and off we sailed towards the Great barrier Reef. Between all that money spent and the choppy waters, I let myself down clumsily, clung on to a rope as I bobbed hopelessly about. Since I could not ever remove that mouth piece, I screamed silently down the ten meters or so. So the reasoning that perhaps my struggle would break forth into a new freedom if I dared dive in wasn't a picture that quite worked for me. In fact, it felt akin to an invitation to take a walk in a black hole.  I have not been near one; but the vast ocean with no four steps to climb out of and a rim to make for feels a lot like a black hole to me; and it is a total waste of time to visit a black hole. What can one get out of it?

It is also true that I am a small person; and by this I do not merely mean my physical stature. I am fully aware that I can only stand in the shadows of the many great men and women who wield the pen and honestly will be at an utter and complete loss as to what to say if I should get a chance to talk with any of them; which is to say that they can say it and have said it all better than me anyway, so why bother.

It is also true that I live in a small country where we have for decades been feeding off the hands of what we deem to be our cultural superiors, the ang mohs. I am sure there is some psychological phenomenon with a label on it for this. The result is that local writers very rarely occupy any shelf space in a bookstore and if you write for a subset of the reading population; then that precious bit of real estate will not be allocated to you – yes, the way things are.

So - I have these thoughts, faces, ideas that seem to rise like a mist and they coax and cajole me every day. I think I am supposed to take a closer look, to dive deeper, to listen and then find the words and string them. But I don’t. Instead all I end up with is an infatuation. I never make a date. The appointment is not set, the exchange is not made, and the conversation is never recorded. I am feverish with excitement for the moments when the muse visits but my page is blank, still.

What genre? Where does it fit? Why would anyone care to read about the very first real-life Irishman I ever met? What if the said Irishman read it and I have totally warped who he is? I wouldn’t like to read what sounds so much like me that also make me out to be someone I am not. What to do.

I tried to tweet myself out of this, just. I composed an elegant one hundred and twenty characters. It feels better, as if, I at least showed up for work. But who am I fooling?

Perhaps in the end, the solution isn't rocket science. I just made my nine-year old redo his English composition. I should just mother myself into being a good child and getting my writing done.

Your ideas are welcome. Please leave them in the comments. Thank you!

TREKKING THROUGH THE PSALMS

I'm two weeks late. 

I first sensed it when I looked over my Bible reading guide and it said Psalms. I've read and meditated and milked the Psalms for so much marrow, milk and molassy-sweetness over the years, so I turned my attention to preparing for Advent: the forty days leading up to Christmas. But God was waiting.

For in my journal one day, i was so heavy-hearted i wrote of BUGs: burdens, grief, uncertainties.

This year is filled with BUGs for me. Life goes on, I move on; but my Spirit-awakened heart refuses to just keep going. It broke and the tears came. And I hear the whisper, 'go to the Psalms'. 

The Psalms contain some of the oldest writings in the world: songs of worship. 

Worship is what we give worth and honour to.

The Psalms: personal, corporate; lament & praise; draws us to the truth of the human condition and wraps it in the One who alone can lift us beyond our limited, repeated sorrows.

I continue with my New Jerusalem Bible. {it is highly recommended that you read a different version especially when you feel the Bible getting too familiar & our ugly human pride gets in the way of truly listening as we read}

Psalm 1

v3 ~ every project succeeds
Really? I know how often i feel i failed. Quite a lot recently in fact.
But the One says to me "it's a success! Have you forgotten what I taught you success means? It's about the following, the working from your love, about leaning into the Wind at times and even sitting in the prison; where no one and nothing seems to go your way. Simply because you are Mine, and anyone who seeks to do my will cannot fail for I do not fail."

v5~ YHWH watches over the path of the upright
"It is hard to see the way you are going and I know the pain you feel with every step. But I see it; I am watching over it.  I, even I."

Selah {pause}

v2~ murmurs his law day and night.
this brought a chuckle to me. i think of those religious types who are taught to repeat words that secure salvation. And indeed, I am saved only when I repeat those truth-words: the 'great and precious promises' {2 Peter 1v4} that alone can keep my head turned right and my heart beating tender. The extrovert, take-it-all in part of me often subvert this as i get attracted and distracted.. like someone shared, 'I close my Bible and I forget what i just read'. Reading can be like that. But meeting with Someone usually lingers on.

Psalm 2

v12~ how blessed are all who take refuge in him
there is a little cross-reference to Proverbs 16 and it says, '...listens to YHWH and finds happiness'. {at this moment, the cat looks straight at me as if to say, 'well don't you already know that?'.

This verse comes at the end of an entire Psalm that contrasts the spurious plans of men with the solid Plan of God. We are planners we. Each day, Babel rises and we fight to justify our plans, our ways, our ideas, our dreams. And God says to the nations, to us, "come to your senses, learn your lesson!".

Where are we losing sensibility? In our pine, whine, dine culture, are we become senseless consumers - callous about deeper matters, careless about our attitudes, casual toward God?

What lesson does God want me, you, to learn?
i am a breakaway, runaway, flyaway... are you? My little plans for the days and the long years are little tributaries of God's grand rivers but sometimes I rush the rapids and lose sight of the River.
Perhaps for your, the little brook is drying up? Then, put on hiking boots and beat a trail to the River! Delay not!

Psalm 3

O i love how graphic this gets! The bad guys are so gonna get it. Slap them! Those thousand foes arraigned against me. Reduce them to  nothing.
Shield me.
You-are-the-One who holds my head up. I will not bow, demure, give in, give up.

I  will  look  up --- at You. to You.

Love, sex and The Marriage

In one conversation with a young adult about marriage, she was honest enough to say that while she wasn't crazy about settling down; she did wish to experience sex.

She is still single today; and I am glad she is living purposefully.

But society has made sex such a big deal, and such a cheap thrill.

Even while we still shift uncomfortably in our chairs and blush at this topic, the world has charged ahead to accuse us once again of being priggish, prudish and behind-the-times. Faith is for old ladies with knitting needles, not hot-blooded gals and guys. Not only that, our whole one man-one woman arrangement is outmoded and o so restrictive!

So today, we need to talk about sex, for these reasons:
1. sex has become synonymous with Love in our media.
2. sex is not properly wowed about

In our day of self-fulfillment at practically any cost, those of us who believe that sex is a holy thing properly handled in suitable places and ready hearts are made to feel backed into a corner and have to explain ourselves! We are the accused -- our broad and grand ways in Christ are made to be narrow and old-fashioned and we are labeled fear-mongers.

But I think my little parenting wisdom works here too: like I teach my kids, if you are right, you don't bother getting angry.

We work with our script and guard it. Not let some thief come in and rip it up.

Let's return to point 1: sex = Love. The equation is clearly flawed. Love is far more than sexual intimacy (& intimacy ala Hollywood's sizzle).

Ask the couple who struggles to consummate but have stayed married. 

Or the couple that no longer can due to illness, imprisonment or abandonment. 

Ask those who had a go but have since been let go because a wilder body walked by. 

See the unlikely couple who is now going to have a second boy. (this world-class guy-without-limb Nick V).

nick 's family last year

Sex is a gift so powerful we unwrap it too early and wrong to our peril. Ps Scott Sauls puts it this way:

God put guardrails around sex because sex is the most delightful, and also the most dangerous, of all human capacities. It is a transcendent, other-worldly experience. Sex works a lot like fire. On one hand, fire can warm and purify. On the other hand, if not contained properly and handled with care, it can burn, leave permanent scars, infect, and destroy. So it is with sex. I have seen this play out in scores of pastoral situations over the years. “There is a way that seems right to a man,” says the sacred Proverb, “but in the end it leads to death.”

The Bible describes sex as an interchange of two souls within the boundaries of a marriage between a man and a woman. It is meant to be a physical expression (and not the only expression) of our human longing and experience for love. And this particular expression is a fire that must be lit only when one is mature enough to be committed to handle the fire that it is: you do not walk from a fire as it can burn things down.

So, the larger thing is the Marriage. And that is the real Wow.

For those who fight for their right to marry whoever they love and want to commit to; their frame of reference is self, love and sex. The marriage arrangement is plagiarized in order to become mainstream.(and if we out ourselves in the shoes of those who have been the target of venom and deep prejudice, we would empathise). But it goes to show that --

Marriage is the real wow.  Whether arranged by elders or the outcome of a pursue-response of two who felt drawn to each other... or even the political outcomes of a lobby for reasons ideological and economic, marriage remains for many a state to be much desired.  So whether you entered it to become like the others, to escape, to grow up, to move on.... All married people soon hit a fog almost impenetrable. It is so much more and way too little at the same time. Yes it has taken us millennial to uncover this and we may never fully figure it out - because even Paul, enlightened by the Spirit only manages to say this much: it's a mystery folks.

We had paternalistic models that we balk at today. Thankfully many societies have moved beyond that and Jesus' treatment of women was most instructive and catalytic towards this huge sea change. Yes there are many marriages that do not shine or even survive. Yes, you and I may not have an easy go at it for many reasons including the intrinsic difference between the genders which can make union challenging.

But that the realities are broken shards does not mean the actual Vase did not exist before. It just means someone broke the Vase. And since we no longer have that pristine Vase, frankly, we're all a bit lost! But the answer is not to each grab a shard and cut ourselves till we bleed for our sense of mastery of the mystery. No, we take the shard we have and we imagine the Vase while we appreciate the shard!

This imagination is what we need.

a surprising rainbow and its glow on a dark evening - the whole rainhow is in your mind

What would happen if we could recover Love and Marriage for the grand vision that we glimpse from revelation? 

"What if we  shifted our emphasis toward THE MARRIAGE to which all other marriages are but a shadow—the mystical union between Jesus and his bride, the Church, which is inclusive of believing husbands and wives, as well as widows and widowers, divorcees, and other unmarried men and women? According to sacred Scripture, no matter what one’s marital status or sexual orientation, the first moment of trust in Jesus makes that person as married and complete as s/he will ever be. From our first moment of faith, Jesus is our Bridegroom and we are his Bride." (Scott Saul)

What if we thought and started to feel along these lines? Those of us married, longing to, unable to, not yet ready to... 

We would cultivate our hearts and coach our lives towards the purity, passion and purpose that Christ deserves.

The longings of our hearts and the yearning of our souls which are satisfied when we commune and unite with God is what this marriage picture is about. it is about lives reconciled and at peace with God. It is about hearts on fire with passion for God. It is about time, talent and tools all directed for the purposes of God. This is what lovers feel - the desire to join, and this is what the sex act does.

At the heart of all of life is our need to return to God, to be united with Him. We did not just go through a status change, much less a change in our habits or lifestyles alone. We underwent an essential change of DNA. The Western church with its rationalistic mindset is not so familiar with this way of seeing or saying things. But Paul talks about it from various ways:

But he who is joined to the LORD is one spirit with Him ~ 1 Corinthians 6v17 (NKJV)

...put on the new nature, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of is Creator ~ Colossians 3v10 (RSV)

The new DNA opens up our original need and longing for God. Some of us feel it more keenly in nature and beauty. Walking among the trees and feeling the wind gently on our cheeks awaken something in us and we come alive. Some of us gravitate towards ideals and strong causes and are energized as we pursue just actions. Others of us enjoy quietly making notes and marking our trails....behind it all is Love's creation of us and drawing us to His naturally inclusive, embracing reality. Our desire for love is a response to the call of Love. And it does not take marriage (and sex) to respond.

You are loved my friend. 

the post by Scott Saul
readings on faith and sexuality within the larger context of Friendship