1 Oct 2014

Time to live from the Inside-Out...and 3 keys towards that...

We live most of our lives for the outside. 
Appearances.
Actions.
Apparel.

People judge our clothes, our words, our decisions.
And so we think that's what matters. Yes, of course, their words, opinions, the way they narrow their eyes or look away just.bothers.us.

We lose sleep over that remark.
We scratch our scalps over that facebook comment.
We get all angst and angry over that email.

"Get over it!" - we try; but it isn't so easy. And it's not because we are weak; not in the sense of being a weakling.

Great leaders have moments of severe doubts and darkness. 

From preacher Charles Spurgeon to War-Time Prime Minister Winston Churchill to that great nun Mother Theresa; their stories shed vital light: there are no super-humans, not really. All of us humans are weak and insecure, yet when captivated by a Vision so beyond us, we can become capable of great good-will.


When that Vision confronts us though, most of us back away. 

Why rock the boat?
Why risk the loss?
Why take the path less traveled?
Why act so sure?

This is why probably the most important Q we need to ask as we mature is this:



We come to a time when we must realise that we are Inside Beings and will never be satisfied living for the Outside. We are made of deeper, stronger stuff. We want to believe in something, We want to stand for something, We want to make a difference. These are all Inside things. And we find them only when we dare to journey inwards to our hearts.

What does this take?

1. Devote time to understand yourself: what truly motivates you, what brings you joy. {this means less time on lesser stuff like TV or social media perhaps}

2. Have a way to dailogue with yourself and with God: a journal is really helpful here. Most of us will find ourselves rambling and haphazard until we start to make notes...and then things begin to take a form, a structure, a direction, Got to try it {or ask me when my next Journaling workshop/seminar is happening}

3. Get in touch with what is meaningful to you. Read, learn, make friends with the right tribe.

Go on, discover your Insides. It's never too early or late to begin. I'll see you around!

{feel free to raise Qs, share your experiences & thoughts in the comments!}

And remember, the Vision-Giver will give you a lift.

28 Sept 2014

Can "what is it that you really want?" be the most important Q of all?

Maybe it's all because of my growing years. We were poor. No one asked me, "what would you like?". We took, sometimes, grabbed what was available. We didn't complain for my mother had an incredible gift of making life feel full even when our stomachs were not always.

But I have been wondering of late.


Even though I am prone to introspection and sometimes melancholy; I have learnt to trust the Spirit's leading. He has taught me to look back in order to look ahead.

Our future is more sabotaged by our past than we realise.

It is true. I rarely ever fought for anything I wanted. Indeed, I seldom want anything much. Some of it is the contentment I have learnt. But there is definitely a lack somewhere. I fight for justice. I fight for others too. But for myself I find I often let others decide.

This first came to light years ago in the university when my score for assertiveness was actually lower than most in the group. Nobody believed it. I was either honest or have misread all the questions.

But I realise it isn't just me.

I see it in many souls. This uncertainty. What am I about? What do I want? Where am I headed? Can I make it there?

So instead of praying and marking a trail and hacking away to stay on it; we meander.

So, what is it that you really want?

It's far easier to answer that when it is:
O, I want the red one over the green.
I want Starhub and not Mio
I want rice, not noodles
I want ....

But, what is it you really want in your life?
Joy?
Faith?
Loyalty?
Peace?

What is it that you really want your life to be about?
Truth?
Justice?
Love?

These kinds of questions seem boring, general, too idealistic.
But these are very things that we made Imago Dei is distinct from the rest of creation! We are creatures of ideals and ideas; and to let them go is to become less than who we were made to be.

So pause and ask yourelf:

What is it that you really want in your life?
Ok. Do you have it? Why not? What needs to change? Who can help you?

What is it that you really want your life to be about?
Are you on track? What distracts or discourages you? What can you do to stay on-track?



I grew up asking other kinds of Qs -
What did others want?
What does the God/Bible/church leaders want?
What do boys/men/gals/others want?

These were introductory lessons to asking the real Qs in life.

People often change their minds about what they want.
You cannot deliver what they want.
You realise that what you think God wanted isn't quite correct because you have confused God with some fear/experience/expectation.


I am not out to invent/re-invent myself.

No, I ask myself these Questions because I know I have a Teacher of Truth who will guide me and tutor me and safeguard me. When I find myself sinking under the daily needs and feeling the frustration level rise; I return to my answers and re-anchor myself in The Source.

Often I have had to apologise for messing up - to God, to my kids, to myself {ok, I am weak in the spouse department for this, my pride!}... But asking these questions has helped me clarify what is truly important, what I will sacrifice for, what I want my life to shine forth.

Why don't you try these questions? In fact, I would suggest you write them down someplace and look at them once in a while. You will be surprised what Truth will emerge and grab you.




Jenni really wants:
 a deep sense of Love in her life that flows out from her; 
her epitaph is going to read: 
Lover of God and others.


24 Sept 2014

more dust with the prophet Jeremiah...and how to really deal with rejection

Things can be both funny and un-funny at the same time.

Like being called a weeping prophet. It sounds funny; the image of this grown man going around like a his tear ducts need healing, and you don't know if mid-sentence he may just began to bawl. Most of us would stay away from someone so seemingly volatile. This is when it gets un-funny. Tears are like spontaneous combustion - get the right mix, and they come brimming over your lids.

In our wonderful Gospel of God-loves-us; it is very hard to imagine, much less embrace that we may be called to a ministry of rejection and tears.

Yes, we love those verses that light up our esteem where Jeremiah was told
"before I formed you in the womb i knew you; before you were born I sanctified you; I ordained you a prophet to the nations." ~ 1v5
But, read on and we won't be as enthusiastic when we find out his job description and his working conditions!



No wonder at one point the prophet got so fed-up, he was so bummed out, so near expiry, he moaned and groaned his lot
"Woe is me, my mother, that you have borne me,
a man of strife and contention to the whole world!
... I sat alone because of Your hand,
for you have filled me with indignation.
why is my pain perpetual and my wound which refuses to be healed?
Will you be to me an unreliable stream, as waters that fail?"
 ~ 15v10,18f

He is lonely and rejected.
His efforts are futile.
It all seems pointless.

In his pain, he staggers and everything seems a blur and it feels he cannot find God anywhere.

Jeremiah by Rembrandt


You and I know these feelings.

We live in a world where we are just naturally skilled at hurting others and being hurt (most of it unintended!). Rejection, loneliness, and doubts assail us. What is the point of trying, obeying, sacrificing?

God's response is not the molly-coddle we hope for. He stands his man up and refocuses him on his mission -

"If you return, then I will bring you back,  you shall stand before me; if you take out the precious from the vile, you shall  be as my mouth." ~ 15v19

Return? Where did Jeremiah go? He veered off course down the ravine of self-absorption and was having a one-soul picnic: the pity party. I used to throw these parties often, especially when PMS hit. The spread is simple - take out from the basket every memory of hurt and break it apart to look for something to soothe your feelings. You will find nothing.

God didn't scold the prophet for his feelings; but He calls him to pack up the picnic. One more thing: God said there it is a mix of precious and vile. 

Extracting gold, refining silver, creating a pearl of great price takes effort. Jeremiah, you and I need to know where to direct our energies: separate the precious from the vile. See the hand of God in your situation. Find the gift and grace in your pain. Focus on the goodness and kindness that can be found in the midst of the craziness.


Picnic basket packed, we move on to a place more suited for serious reflection and prayer.

God says, "you shall stand before me".

God doesn't intend for us to lose our place with and before Him. Standing before God is the place of seeking Him, communing with Him, and being commissioned by Him.

There's more -
"..they will fight against you, but they shall not prevail against you;
for I am with you to save you
and deliver you..
" ~ v20

Jeremiah, you and I will eat dust and, more than live:





*Scriptures taken from the New King James Version