Truth Lies in Both Extremes...

We stood beside each other, lightly grasping the hand rail and placed one leg each on the cement embankment that ran along the corridor of the sociology department. I turned to my professor and said to him, “truth lies in both extremes”.  He thought for a while, smiled, turned to face me and said, “I can see that…”. I stumbled to think of all those examples that had surprised me on my long bus rides when thoughts visit from who knows where.

My professor did not seem totally convinced, and my mind had gone blank. The august moment to impress my professor thus snatched from so congenial a setting; we ended our conversation on a few banal notes about student life.

But like the waves that lap at the shores, I continue to have those moments where it seems a hand passes over and suddenly one of those ‘truth lies in both extremes’ haunches lies before my mind’s eye again; and what I was preoccupied with fades for the moment. Many such moments have solidified a bedrock conviction within me: it’s not just black or white and it’s not about shades of gray. It’s a whole different colour when it comes to truth!  Black, white and gray are the ways we see it.

Paradox sounds a big, bully of a word. But perhaps if I say: #1 people change, people don’t change
#2 the world is better today, the world is worse off today
#3 Salvation is both God and us – He is the one that saves, we are the one that responds
#4 we love and hate the same people

 You would agree these statements hold truth. 

I was talking to an intelligent young man, an engineering PhD student who was struggling as his mind would heap arguments on one end of the see-saw and then counter those arguments with another set promptly seated on the opposite end. He was stuck in his logical arraignment. So I suggested the paradox – and that the answer he needed was to have courage to embrace both ends of the see-saw and recognize that living is risk-taking.

Yes, it would be very neat to have things one way or another. But that’s simply not reflective of reality. Truth calls us to us and Wisdom sings her song but we don’t hear. We would rather have it flat-lined, neatly pigeon-holed and yes, fixed. -- That’s okay with things.
 But once people get into the mix, is it enough to just fix things? 

Can the human heart be fixed? 

Can love be wrapped in a gift box? Can sorrow be explained? 

Can trouble not bring good? 

Can fortune not bring foreboding?

# The Cross was utter defeat and ultimate victory.

 And if you want to live, and in particular, to live as a Christian; 

then you are a person of this Cross.

Contradiction = statement containing elements that are logically disagree

Paradox = statement that at first seems contradictory but upon investigation prove true

So in fact, then, to live life is to come to terms with, accept and learn how to be skillful in paradoxical tensions. It has been said that maturity is about being able to accept tensions.

Children begin with black and white. It’s a needful first start. But we will be naïve and childish to stay there. The colour of maturity comes as we discover the amazing palette of life; in particular our own lives and how the colours come together. We must then shed our bi-chrome existence for what is deeper and truer.

# rest in labour, labour in recreation –

where we learn to work meaningfully trusting in the value of the work in itself and where we allow our recreation to be a genuine life-renewing process which requires work at examination, reflection, gathering memories and noting markers..

-which is a gift and possibility for the Christian who trusts in a God who designed us to labour and rest to a Spirit-led and enabled rhythm.

Will we one day transcend the way of paradox? If paradox is a result of the interleaving of dark and light; then I hope that when the curtain is finally fully parted; we would be past this tension. But then, what would be of all this life-training to think and live set us up for? I just fell prey to easy answers again!

Paradox calls us to slow, wait, listen, consider. We must resist quick answers, we need to contemplate, to trust. In the end, I don’t know if the way of paradox will persist; but how we have been touched and changed by it surely will.

Encouraged by Sweet sister Sarah

I have grown up with Abraham. I sang the silly ‘Father Abraham’ song:

 Father Abraham

Had many children

Many children had father Abraham

Some of them were tall and some of them were short

But none of them were bright 

Raise your right...

 (right hands shoot up)…

And on it goes till one has lifted hands, kicked out feet and shaken the body.

So Abraham the patriarch loomed large in my consciousness – he who obeyed God and became the father of the covenanted people.

Then I got married; and I started noticing Sarah, his wife.

Today, I read in the Living translation that

He continued southward to the Negeb, pausing frequently (12v9)

If you have followed your husband through job changes, relocations and other tectonic shifts.. Sarah understands that. She had to set up tents, make home, cook meals, do laundry..then take it all down and start over – frequently.

There is a way we idealise Bible stories that make it all a rosy hue of settled faith and fortunes. The more I read carefully, the more I am convinced that’s simply untrue. It’s mostly grit, dust, questions, silence – and faith.

Sarah moved along with it all.

Did she not have thoughts, opinions, feelings? You bet! 

And then, we come to this part where Abram decides to lead everyone into Egypt because of a famine. The story plainly tells us that he instructs his wife to pose as his sister to save his skin.

 Again Sarah goes along. But then, God acts.

It struck me! God had promised Abram progeny. Technically, in the polygamist culture of that day; it can come many ways…But, God protected Sarah (He dose this twice! Abram seems slow to learn this) – because Sarah is his chosen instrument to bring forth the promised child. God guarded and kept Sarah’s destiny while she lived in a world where her rights were practically non-existent.

I have been through things I would not choose and endure decisions I would not make (not that they are evil)… but a few times now, I have received this intimation that God watches over me. 

Like the time we lived in the USA for a year. It was a scholarship for my husband and he gained a lot no doubt. But it was a special season for me to raise my daughter, and to write. Although I struggled with some aspects of being there by myself, I enjoyed so much of the life and community, the colours, seasons, and experiences. I drank it all in and they nourished me. Two years after we returned, in a moment of serendipity, I actually sensed God said the time was for me too! I wasn't just a tag-along with some secondary purpose if i was lucky enough. Sure, it was my husband who emerged with the degree, but I received an honour from God as opened my heart to my calling. He affirmed me and helped me along. He opened doors and grew my courage and conviction to begin this whole journey towards being a pastor-writer.

God is just amazing.

We think of everything in zero sum. If he gets something, I lose something. Not so in God’s Math. It works out very differently. Sarah shows us that God cares about us women, guards our destiny, shields us from danger and strengthens us each step of the way.

There will be things that matter to us -taking down tents and all that stuff - and God may let us learn Love through it...but when it comes to what matters; God will be watching closely and will act on behalf of us. 

Keep Calm and..

CALM, calm?!

where do we find C-A-L-M  in our clam fisted, clammed hearts, clammed-jammed calendar world? 

Good grief, i got this image off a site called: "keep calm-o-matic" where they are busily tracking every parody of this basic image and idea.

I decide to make one for myself. See:

Because this is what it is about for me now! 

If anything changes when I am not calm; it is my voice - tone, quality, speed, and volume! Talk louder so he can hear me. Repeat again, and again (also known as nagging) because the kids are not getting it. Counter-productive.

In fact, i sheepishly recall that i had advised in my book to 'talk about A when she is interested in A' - sage advice for communication. But guess what? Time marches relentless on, things are piling on the table, one can nearly feel the inbox bulging with fresh mails, another SMS to say she forgot something....and augh, i forgot to moisturise again... !

So all the words about B, C, D...undone, poorly done,..all the words, not chosen, erupt, tumble out - here and there and fall down in all the places that do not welcome them. Things remain the same except for the temperature in the home and the racing blood coursing through hardening veins.


It starts with KEEP:
i return to the truth that I am not fixer or keeper. Everything slips out of my hands too easy. Remember the old word 'safe-keeping'? Well, i turn to the One who keeps it all safe, who safe-keeps; full of wonder and wisdom; and i hand it all over, all again. Then --

CALM re-enters me and I am freed from my worst self.

And I have been consistently surprised it all works better. my heart-rate is more even, i can pay attention and write my blog(!), sip my tea slowly, sit by the angst-sy teen's bed and listen to talk, hand out clear boundaries for the itchy seven-year old buttocks to remain on the chair....

A! Moments with God: 3 simple steps...

This simple 3 part time with God is easy to use and gets us to core transformative habits: gratitude, Grace, and trust. Try it and tell me about your experience! 

Appreciate

- taking time to just appreciate where  you are at, and not at(!), people in your life, and pray blessing over them. i also took time to appreciate God Himself.


Anticipate
- is being quiet and still so the noises of your soul emerges..and u listen to the tunes: is it playing fear, worry, restlessnes...? Ask the Spirit to point the way. our current state predisposes us to choices and consequences. so anticipating is both looking within and looking ahead. at times the Spirit wants to highlight what lies ahead in our path and grant us wisdom to navigate with sensitivity and courage...


Anchor
- in Scripture* and prayer..continue with what u are reading or ask for a word...and lay down your defenses and choose trust.


*continue with current readings or try out the following: Psalm 16, 23, 139; John 15; 1 John 1.

(a repost prompted by a Quiet Morning I will be leading for 30 women & a few men!)

An old Word made new - when God's Word seem distant

I am doing a search through my Bible, a quick scan of verses and passages related to a subject I am examining It's a hunt for traces to line up a path of understanding. Along the way I come to an old friend, a verse I had read, re-read, cherished and remembered as a teen:

For the LORD is a sun and shield,

He bestows favor and honor;

No good thing does he withhold

From those whose walk is blameless. (Psalm 84v11)

I recall easily the force of conviction and utter joy at the discovery I'd this promise. How i step abroad with easy confidence that the world and all it holds lie wide open before me; mine to uncover and treasure, enjoy and enrich. How my future beamed bright with good stuff labeled with my name waiting to be dispatched at the right time. I did quiver a little at the blameless walk bit, but I hide behind a mighty Cross and knew I meant business and kept short accounts.

So each time the sun rises and I  felt the warmth or the sting of its tropical rays, I would remind myself God's power stands near and touches me enough without overpowering me. Each time things go awry, I entrust myself to One who will protect me like a shield so I am not completely defeated, but can arise again.

But now i feel the distance of twenty years and many episodes of disappointment, failure and heartache standing between me and these feelings, this word.

It is easy to fill up with questions and cynicism. They fill the air we breathe, and as redeemed fallen beings whose diet is to reach for the fruit from the tree of knowledge of good and evil, the effortless bent is to seek to calm our fears with what answers we can find. Adult life entrenches this habit: we are proved at work and in our relarelations by the power of what we know-to-work. We are called upon to provide answers, solutions, options.

Yet at the same time, we experience a widening and deepening chasm between what we do know and what we do not. We recognize as problems multiply with complicity at work, children who refuse to conform, weakening bodies, our own unruly souls... that our true knowledge and ability, and - control - is flimsy ay best.

It can be a time of increasing piety.

It can be a season of aching get-by-each-day..

Or

We can turn afresh to those promises and take a deeper look.

In what way is God my sun and shield?

Can we be made to wait because giving us something we want, which we deem to be good can become something bad if it was given too early?

Can the waiting be of value in itself; and indeed be the time-space needed to experience God as sun and shield?

Together with my scouring of verses, I read a Spurgeon piece that bears these lines:

"...we will drive away our griefs, and set up our banners of confidence in the name of God. 

Let others lament over their troubles. 

We who have the sweetening tree to cast into Marah's bitter pool, with joy will magnify the Lord.....

we will not dishonor our Bridegroom by mourning in His Presence.....

Do not men of Grace find their Lord to be campfire and spikenard, calamus and cinnamon...

O sweet Jesus, you are the portion of your people! 

Favor us with such a sense of your preciousness, 

that from its first to its last day we may be glad and rejoice in You!..."

The paradox of being fully immersed in life and yet being lifted beyond it...living a dream, trusting the Great Invitation to live full and free, real and rugged is held by a thick cord that will not snap with our changes. It is called Grace. 

And it is made possible by the Resurrection!

IT'S COMING! 

... Sink deep into it... and rise anew!

r.e.s.u.r.r.e.c.t.i.o.n

CLICK here for a nice reproducible:
RESURRECTION chalkboard art

"my life would be perfect if i lived in that house" by meghan daum

"my life would be perfect if i lived in that house" by meghan daum

i read this book and it affected me. Maybe it's because home ownership is such a defining thing in Singapore..or coz that was my mother's end point in her pursuit - to have own place filled with her kids and grandkids...

but there is also this:

The book title hit me right there..in some hitherto undefined spot. There is of course, this humming background track that really when teased apart is singing, "my life would be perfect...".. Yes, perfect IF - if a thousand flustered feathers would settle down.  

The HOUSE thing though is a particular quill; huge and visceral.

Why does it connect? There is definitely a neural pathway linked to some deeper recess that kicks in: i want to repaint, remodel, fix, even, move...the nest just needs constant improvement; no doubt something is going on here. A truthful mix of longing, desire, coveteousness and more.
Also, I have discovered this: everywhere i travel, from Africa to India to Australia, my eyes are peeled to examine how people live and i feel a need to answer one question no one has actually posed to me: how will I LIVE here ie. what kind of house and fittings and furnishings and where to get them... I seem to go everywhere anticipating to sink roots whether out of a sudden missional revelation or a dread that i will somehow be abandoned and just have to live there from that day on! I have asked. Some friends look at me only (what do they say?) while a rare one or two have shared this propensity!

What about you? Do you feel at home?

Well, the book was such fun to read too; a memoir of the heart's search for home.

~ Bare: a friend shares raw and honest.

Through Roseys Glasses: Five Minute Friday ~ Bare

Oops! My feet are in my way!

I read a marvelous rendition of a verse of Psalm 25 today:

I keep my eyes on God
I won't trip over my own feet

Well that was pretty spot on. Sure-footed I am not feeling. And the diagnostic is accurate too. My eyes have been glancing wildly at shadows real and imagined that remind me that I am not so great at decision-making, administration, sustaining my steps...opening wide the door to that grim enemy of our souls: fear.

Do you trip over your own feet?

I do it not only at heart level; but being the un-athletic-sort, i have actually literally tripped myself during one of those mad dashes for the finishing line. Thankfully i did not fall face-flat on the hot, hard track.
Today, thankfully, this verse reminds me I have not yet fallen and do not need to!

for Heaven's sake!

Heaven - we worry abt relating to others and we tell nervous jokes about ending up as neighbours to those we tolerate on earth.

But what of the Resident, the owner of heaven; the maker and King over all? How prepared are we to live with Him?

If our eternal future is to be at home with our Maker, how much of our lives are seen and lived through this lens?

I think of the trials we undergo; those pains of broken-heartedness, the ache of disappointment, the crises of God-silence...

We try hard to explain why things happen, why people behave the way they did, how God could use us more when we emerge from the valleys...

This stays on the outward course; looking still at performance, outcomes and what we-can-do.

But perhaps God's heart is more about who we become and what we cherish:

-children deeply adoring and happily dependent on their Father.

-Servants who know Jesus' heart and ways and flow gladly with His Spirit of Grace and truth, nearly oblivious to the demands and pressures of tradition, systems and persons.

-Leaders who carry a burning vision kept aflame by God's personal supply of fuel , faces reflecting joy that comes from the confidence of a battle won.

It is about embracing the incredible invitation to enter the eternal fellowship of the Triune God and drink of the never-ending love that exists there.

It is about trusting the wondrous purposes of God and letting our hearts made for him... begin to grow larger to contain more of Him!

Look forward to heaven by living full and free now- held and led by Love.