As a teen, i was convinced by all the wonderful teaching i received that i needed to live out my life calling. it was the middle place between becoming like Christ and finding my role.
in my recent past, as roles and titles fall away and i entered a strange land where identity runs deeper, i love more by conviction, and learnt that my calling is not synonymous with an office (place/title/and even ourch - salary!).
The last few years of both expansion - from one child to two, having more mentees, and of focus - writing; kept me out of a lot of work that is forever crying out to be done: in and outside the church. Without a human boss peering over my shoulder, i experimented fully with living in step with the Spirit, which means to say 'yes' and 'no' not as a self-determining right but as a response to an invitation to greater discovery.
This necessarily changes my orientation, rhyhtm and even sleep patterns! I feel I have arrived at a place of comfort (not comfortable).
Coming up next it seems is a steely resolve to stay in this safe zone while taking new risks. Will I have what it takes to hold calling, conviction and comfort all together within my tiny being and see it expressed in a brilliant day-to-day lifestyle ?