Running Into the shadow of death: Holy Saturday reflections

We are all avoiding the plague of our times: the Covid-19.

But what if the entire purpose of this pandemic is to force us to face up to things we have avoided, ignored, neglected, feared -- so that we may all truly live?

***

This Holy Saturday, we can learn from the experience of the disciples as we consider their journey, and find courage to run into the shadow of death.

Jesus began sharing about his impending death with his disciples months before the dreadful event came to pass. It is understandable that they neither expect nor want to face that reality. Perhaps they chose to hear it as a parable, one that did not seem to directly impact them as yet.

In the final week, these disciples would both enjoy and endure a complex of emotions and thoughts beginning with the raucous welcome of the crowds as they entered Jerusalem, a positivity that would soon be become an alchemy of confusion, anger, cowardice and despair.

Eventually, as the inevitable reality hit them that their beloved Teacher and Friend was overcome by the political machinery of the day and had died, the only thing they could do was flee for their lives, huddling together in fearful trepidation. They had chosen to follow this Rabbi and were expecting a bright future, but what they were left with was complete vulnerability and uncertainty.

***

We too plan our lives and choose to follow bright light and great ideas we expect would lead to good outcomes: that promotion, that expansion, that success, that accolade.

Along the way, our overriding passion invariably run roughshod over lesser matters, like relationships, the environment, the next generation, our faith.

As millions of us live this way, we create ecosystems of illusions where we focus on our bubble of security and success, consumption and comparison.

Covid-19 has burst our bubbles.
Covid-19-19 has shown up the cracks of our ecosystems.
Clovis-19 has revealed the hearts of leaders and followers alike.

This virus with a crown, like the Saviour with His crown, forces us to confront our illusions and realities.

For the longest time, those who are able and privileged, educated and trained, knew about the cracks.

The disciples were taught to be humble, serve, trust, and live in missional faith. But there were deeper issues they need to face up to. There were clues when they jostled for favour and when they continued to speak before they truly heard.

But they were the chosen.
We were the middle-class and rich who lived comfortable (even if stressful) lives.

But they had the Master who calmed seas and feed thousands.
Our crazed chase for the next Instagrammable moment, fancy meal and exotic destination (and these can be ‘spiritual’), gave us an invincibility cloak of sorts.

God let it all come apart at the seams, forcing us to look at how weak our stitching of rationale, practice and soul are.

All the issues that this created world and its poorest inhabitants face as an ongoing reality now confronts us: food security, freedom, choices, mortality.

You see, the poorest in our world live literally moment by moment. They won’t know when cholera, measles, an auto accident, a work accident, or a fist fight can change their lives forever.

This level of human vulnerability is foreign to most of us.
Even with this pandemic, some of us have governments that nanny us so well, that things are mitigated.

What if you did not have healthcare?
What if a lockdown is activated in a few hours and your home is 300 kilometres away?
What if social distance isn’t quite possible because you share a dormitory with fifteen others?

***

Holy Saturday is the day the Bible has no record of. Nothing happened — it seems - except for a lot of soul search.

Did the disciples accuse each other?
Did they look back and try to trace for clues to make sense of things?
Did they confess their sins to each other and seek forgiveness?

In all probability, they did all of that and more.

For one thing, each of them decided to remain with the others.

Who are the people who have been in your journey?
How can you take the conversation deeper - to the level of your soul?
What traveling companions will you pick for your onward journey?


The prophet Isaiah helped us see this -

But the LORD was pleased to crush him, putting him to grief…. (54v10)

For God, there is a necessary pain He allows because of the greater good that can come out of it.

From climate crisis to corruption to mental health issues, God sees a greater good coming out of this Pandemic.

Do we?

Let us not merely hope for things to go back to the way things were. That is going back. No, we need to go forward.

To do so, we have to search our souls, rend our hearts, change our minds.
To do so, we have to relinquish our ‘rights’ to a way of life we designed for our maximum comfort and minimum cost.
To do so, we have join with others to create new ecosystems and continue to reimagine life so that others may flourish too.

***

It is Holy Saturday.

We are awashed with a complex of emotions.

Personally, my WhatsApp is filled with a array of messages filled with memes, anger about the government, information about where to get help etc etc.

My own life has taken a jolt. Even as I already work from home, there are nonetheless adjustments with the loss of income, the limitation of movement and of course, home-based learning. Life goes on too, with one parent hospitalised and my own health being investigated.

I have to deal with these. But more importantly, I have to grief for our world - that God loves and gave His Son for - and search my own soul, for how things should be. 


The future is being built in the present, and real change comes when we are desperate enough for it.


May this Holy Saturday find us desperate enough for a whole new world.

***

Eventually, the women decided to visit the tomb. Once the Sabbath was over and movement was allowed, these women headed towards the site of death. It is a surprising move that they had the courage to face the soldiers guarding it. It is a strange development for women to want to bring their emotional wreckage to a closure. Or perhaps, used to the earthy tasks of preparation, they simply did what they would normally have done…

But O what awaited them!

This pandemic is giving us an extended Holy Saturday. God knows our soul search needs to be extensive and intensive.

Will we brave it and walk right into the shadow of death?
The death of our old ways?
The death of our cherished habits?
The death of our values?

This kind of courageous soul-searching requires solitude: set times to reflect, think and pray.

Head over to  Quiet Morning  {click here} where I provide a resource for us to learn to do that.


May we be desperate, brave and intentional — — so as to be surprised by the Resurrection!

[this was first written and published on Medium]

Toilet Paper Run: is there more than fear at work?

It began in Hong Kong. Then it happened in Singapore. The story then darkened when armed gangs resorted to thievery, no doubt believing that the once humble toilet paper will soon fetch a handsome sum.

Most recently, as the incidence of the Coronavirus infection begin to spot more places in the world, we see the same behaviour. Apocalyptic purchasing has existed for a while in the once CHristian United States, where the Christian narrative of the End Time is woven into the cultural narrative in thick and thin strands.

But Japan surprised us. Orderly, organised, lawful Japan.

Kentaro Takahashi, Bloomberg

Not only did their shelves empty, measures such as this had to be taken even:

https://soranews24.com/2020/03/02/people-in-japan-are-now-stealing-toilet-paper-in-midst-of-coronavirus-crisis/

Everyone wants to know: WHY‌ toilet paper?

The virus’ effects do not include diarrhoea. This prompted Youtuber NileRed to release this
'scientific video', funnily suggesting that it was for moonshine!


What's your theory?

My puzzlement led me back to a theory I read a few years back: Rene Girard’s Mimetic Theory. It isn’t too huge a stretch to say that it is the theory that explains everything – psycho-social. Girard's astounding observation is that human behaviour is mostly us copying each other.

Here is a brief video that explains it: The Mimetic Theory in brief

The question is why? At the heart of it ---


We are beings of Desire. But we inevitably get our cues for what is desirable by watching and aping us. Remember the Joneses and the commandment given by smoke and thunder to ‘not covet’? Both the idiom and the command cuts right at the heart of how we desire and what it can drive us to do.

Why toilet paper? Because if someone else is doing it with zeal, we are safer off doing it too, just in case. Yes, herd mentality. But more than herd mentality, it is our desire, to be safe, to be right. So, just -in-case.

For all our loud prognostications about progress and enlightenment, access to information and advancements in technological abilities, we are still basically lost little creatures hoping to get something right.

That’s our pulse. The fear of losing, losing out, and being lost.

Girard is right. I see it in my own life and countless others I observe. We have a deep inward drive to reach for something to slake the thirst of Desire, but we don’t really know how to, because the Desire is lost under layers of parental training, folk wisdom, modern science, personality preferences, and favourable as well as unfavourable life experiences. Our feelings, brains, and circumstances conspire to point us in certain directions. Our agency is severely compromised.

So yes, there is a virus of fear, but its host is our restless, aimless hearts.


The profundity in this little phrase is often missed:

Perfect love casts out all fear*

Fear is resident, it dwells, stalks, lingers… and has to be cast out. The only force strong enough isn’t information - “we assure you there is enough". To cure this primordial, existential fear requires something far stronger. It takes Love.

But O how our views and experiences of Love are so broken, inadequate and tainted.

Who really loves me, we ask in quiet desperation when we are stark honest. Is there a way to be loved without the burden of guilt - that sense that we aren't really measuring up, or worth it?

Is it possible to know such a Love that we can rest and believe that we will make it through another day, even sans toilet paper?

Such a Love cannot be rooted in emotion. It cannot rise from the soil of accomplishments. It certainly isn't found in our wanting it, no matter how mighty we fantasize.

We get glimpses of it in kindness, faithfulness, affirmation, support, and understanding. These are important signposts that such a Love exists, but in the long road of life, we long to walk towards what these signposts point towards: a Being of Love.

So really, the fear is a symptom, of our Desire.

We desire to find out and be found by this Being of Love. 

But who has time to seek, search and scour? So despite the needle of our heart's compass pointing true north, it flings wildly as we throw ourselves into work, relationships, causes and a thousand lesser lodes of magnetism.

What if this Being of Love not only waits for us at journey's end, but is present and involved in our lives now?

Yes, right now, in the middle of it all, of the mess, of the mistakes, of the morose reality of our times.

We need to encounter this Being of Love, and we need an experience that creates a way for us as mimetic beings to fashion our lives after a worthy model.

We need a Whole Love and a Wholesome model.

Perhaps this is why God had to send his son Jesus to live as a fully human being, to suffer hunger, deprivation, disappointment, loneliness, opposition and even betrayal. Even a cursory look at what he lived through leads to an inescapable conclusion: this guy is relatable (even as a woman, I can say that).

More than that, we find Jesus desirable. He is the One we want to be like.

The way he stands his ground, speaks with authority, and act with compassion. The way he can relate to children, authority figures, the old and marginalised. His confidence, composure and convictions. His sense of purpose and passion. The light in his eyes as he tells another parable laced with humour. His gentleness.

The perfect human.


So the great Christian truths that God has made a way to set us free, to restore our agency, to start us on a homeward journey towards Desire is the answer to the toilet paper run, or rather to stop running after metaphorical toilet paper.

And if you are willing, Jesus has made it all possible.



*1 John 4v18

This phrase is found in a larger text:

This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins.

Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
This is how we know that we live in him and he in us: He has given us of his Spirit. And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in them and they in God. And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.

God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in them. This is how love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment: In this world we are like Jesus. There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.

We love because he first loved us. Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen. And he has given us this command: Anyone who loves God must also love their brother and sister.

In the contemporary Message version :

My beloved friends, let us continue to love each other since love comes from God. Everyone who loves is born of God and experiences a relationship with God. The person who refuses to love doesn’t know the first thing about God, because God is love—so you can’t know him if you don’t love. This is how God showed his love for us: God sent his only Son into the world so we might live through him. This is the kind of love we are talking about—not that we once upon a time loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as a sacrifice to clear away our sins and the damage they’ve done to our relationship with God.

God is love. When we take up permanent residence in a life of love, we live in God and God lives in us. This way, love has the run of the house, becomes at home and mature in us, so that we’re free of worry on Judgment Day—our standing in the world is identical with Christ’s. There is no room in love for fear. Well-formed love banishes fear. Since fear is crippling, a fearful life—fear of death, fear of judgment—is one not yet fully formed in love.

We, though, are going to love—love and be loved. First we were loved, now we love. He loved us first.

If anyone boasts, “I love God,” and goes right on hating his brother or sister, thinking nothing of it, he is a liar. If he won’t love the person he can see, how can he love the God he can’t see? The command we have from Christ is blunt: Loving God includes loving people. You’ve got to love both.

And this powerful song, which I learnt when I lost my beloved brother, reminds me that my worst fears are swallowed up in Love:

Blessings


Note:
Mimetic Theory has another important dimension: the Scapegoat theory. Again, we find this happening - the blame game. The Chinese, the government, the neighbour - are all convenient scapegoats for us because agency is painful and hard for us who are wandering and wondering. A good summary article: https://www.americamagazine.org/arts-culture/2018/11/16/evolution-rene-girard

Discipleship: today, yesterday, forever

It feels like this.

Emma Frances Logan

Let’s see. It’s 2020. This means that I have known about, know and still continue to know Jesus … for more than forty years. Nearly all those years I have been a leader of sorts. I started standing in front of the rest of the children to lead songs, tell stories…then I was in committees, task force teams, ministry teams.

All this time, one word never ever went away, out of fashion, or became redundant.

Discipleship.

Justin Kauffman

Gary Butterfield

Massimo Satirana

We took it apart, looked at its nuts and bolts, studied, argued, wrote papers, tried programs, saw some ‘success’ and almost an equal amounts (it feels*) of ‘failure’.

We got frustrated, distracted, impatient, and reached impasse at times. We then set it aside…but soon, the word invariably found it way to lips, conversations, pulpit and meeting minutes.

In all of this, our human tendency to seek a silver bullet did not serve us well. 

Such marvelous fare we tried (and so important we did) -

TNet | NewLife | SonLife | 2:7 | Roots and Wings | Willow | Saddleback

We Navigated, Crusaded, Rallied, 'Seminared'  ad nauseam.

We used:

Small groups 
Cell groups
Affinity groups
Mission groups
Age Groups (kidschurch, youthchurch etc.)
Online
Offline


And still, the haze persists.


So I hid myself indoors more, and hope to offer something to clear the air.

Here are 2 thoughts to help us forward.


1. Forget Trying To Be Successful At Discipleship, Instead Urge The Next Right Step

(a) the uniqueness of each life

Each person is a story, journey and unfolding. Each life is layered, complexed, nuanced.

This means that discipleship will be hard and hardly successful, if we take a cookie-cutter approach.

When I look back at my own development, and as I hear stories of others, there is never a simple, straight trajectory. I started out Presbyterian. We had an Pentecostal preacher who filled the pulpit frequently. Then I encountered the Charismatics, as well as the Bible-Presbyterian. In Bible college, I met Catholic theologians, went to retreats led by Catholic sisters…and the story continues to unfold..

The Gospel is deep. The church is wide. God is finally, incomprehensible.

Our hearts have alleyways and backroads that cannot be educated, inspired, equipped into Christlike fullness. All our best efforts to fill up with Bible, sharing, service are like set-ups for the real deal.

Discipleship is each unique human life being yielded, one day and one moment at a time, so that the life becomes Cruciform. It is shepherding heartaches, distilling values, training willpower, championing obedience.

And -we have to learn to do this in our own lives first.

Then, as Jesus said to Peter, “turn around and strengthen your brothers”.

It is a lifelong journey of ongoing ‘yes’ to God being God, who knows better and cares more intimately then we dare dream.

This also means that –

Children can be discipled

Youths can be discipled

Adults, married, single, old, aging, ill, dying - we can all be discipled, for what we are is not yet clear to us, but it exists, and is real, and God wants to lead us homeward (1 Cor 1312)

I think God is really serious about diversity.

So, leaders, by all means use all means. Dream. Design. Deliberate. Definitely model it. But don’t fret overly over the outcomes. Chill and Christ both start with the letter ‘C’, see?



(b) the reality of social context

I let out a small moan even as my mind veered in my exasperation and let slip the words “when I was your age…”. Sharing our life story is one thing, but this stupid diatribe is totally futile.

The generation after us did not ask to be raised in their context. My daughter insightfully pointed out that my generation may well be the most privileged. We did not experience the war and we are not inheriting a time bomb. We have to stop wishful thinking and put our brains to better use.

At the heart of human existence and flourishing is our similar need to feel secure, have an identity and derive satisfaction from our contribution.

Think: what is trying to give our kids a sense of security, identity and satisfaction?

If we believe that God is the true and only lasting answer to the three primal needs of our lives, then how do we model and communicate that? What is garbling the signals, causing static, confusing them?

For as long as I can remember, we work really hard at ‘adapting to our culture’ - and we over-adapted, losing our bearings over time…. such as when we did age-group services and were left with a huge issue of transiting people from youth service to adult service.

We should wake up and realise that by focusing on the ‘spiritual’ and becoming ‘experts’ isn’t the best way. God designed life around truth and we have to learn to find God in all of life. 

We have to ask tough questions such as: how do people learn, encounter truth, experience change? We ought to hear from educators, sociologists and counsellors.

Yet,

there will always be fundamentals that we never ought to neglect.

The spiritual life is life - thus there must be Input, Interaction and Output. 


(i) What Inputs do we have available today?

Netflix is so ahead in its game that its CEO recently said that it’s only real competitor is sleep (yes, people sacrifice sleep to catch the stuff they purvey).

We need to create and convey good content.

(ii) What sorts of interaction is happening?

In homes and in churches? Is there safety for real exchange? Is there support for stragglers? The threat of death (not just bodily) lurks close by in the forms of distraction and distress today. Relationships are becoming strained and many feel unsafe.

We need to teach life skills that are being quickly lost today: listening, manners, disagreeing or questioning with respect.

(iii) Output.
What ways are there for people to exercise and express their faith? We need to crucify our culture’s absorption with ‘success’ so that the fear of failure is disempowered and in doing so, unleash all that time and resource (a billion dollars in the tuition industry!).


At the centre of it is the Cross, and Jesus.

My own prayer is that Jesus would be so dazzling, attractive, powerful, engaging, complete in my estimate and experience - so that those around me can catch a glimpse of it and desire it too.

Leaders -

-if the gospel becomes too familiar, tired and lack lustre, revisit it until it becomes the pearl of great price for you. Or you will sell short. 

-make friends with a broad range of people who can provide insight into the human condition and the social contexts of our flock 

-watch that you are not capitulating to popular culture. 

-go deep and gather a few for life-on-life, the way Jesus did. Trust me, you cannot do better than Jesus.

2. Focus On The Irreducible Minimum

Some churches have a lot of moolah and can do fancy parties. Most are rather basic. If God said we can make disciples of all nations, the approach has to something that can be transplanted into all cultural contexts. This is called the Irreducible Minimum.

The following will not make the list:

Starbucks coffee
Music that is branded
Certain versions of the Bible
And whole barrels of programs we have tried in the first world, middle class church.

But here is what will work:

Genuine welcome

Spiritual hunger 

Prayer 

Practical love 

Scripture - taught, discussed, meditated, memorised, applied 

The Sacraments of Baptism and Communion 

Sacrificial Familial love

Just look at this amazing list that isn’t exclusive to the rich, educated or even seminary-trained!

So maybe, just maybe, we ought to start growing in these things and see where the marvelous Holy Spirit takes us!



Finally,  a confession is in order, one I prayed many times:

O God, you offer humanity goodwill and Good News of Great Joy. 
I am so sorry I lose sight of it, prefer to get sated on other lesser pleasures, and often busy myself with things that are far removed from Your Holy Will.

Forgive the way I preach, teach, counsel, lead and on and on… often more marked by an anxiety to live up to expectations or worse, ambition - than out of a fear of You and a love for the ones You entrusted to me.

If there is any way, undo the damage where your shepherds and leaders have cause more hurt, confusion and been an overall bad witness.

Do a work in my life that cannot be explained except for the mighty Grace and Mercy of God, and in turn, let me lead others to this same stream to drink fully of it.

Whether I lead a few or a few thousand, let me never get beyond the adventure, excitement and dream that is your Kingdom - of lives touched, transforming and true.
For Christ’s sake, Amen.

*the brain remembers this stuff more readily, possibly a preservation instinct - an instinct I posit is post-Fall.

A Prayer to My Saviour, Gd Friday 2018

We blew out the final candle

and the little boy sobbed
he felt the dark, darkness


we read how You
betrayed
accused
flogged
nailed
suffered
and love

even a stone would cry out

when i rise
from that solemn moment
in the dark
waiting for Resurrection Light

the lights flicked on
energy we create
so we can burn on when
the sun has called it a day

I soon forget
I soon forget

Gathering my crumbs of
desire,
Picking up the strands of
plans,
Setting forth the hours of
labour

As if -
they aren't tainted by sin
everyday
every moment telling me
that I need, and have a Saviour

and I am busy saving
time, effort, money, lives even

unaware
how much I need saving
from my own ideas of good
from my fright-flight mode
that yo-yo of existence

Jesus dear

How did you live those last days
knowing what you did

the disappointment when your chums would fail to pick up your pain and slept instead
the betrayal by one you till the last called a friend
the opacity of rulers
the pain of your mother

You taught the milling crowds -
Cast your eyes to the end: earthquake, persecution, terror
Once more, you beg them to sober up to their trajectory


You showed them - the master's friends
A towel and a basin are the weapons of revolution

You told them
What is coming
So eat, drink, it's my final meal

As you did this
the nard-fragrances lingers
that death-whiff no one inhales deep to shift sensibilities


Jesus dear
Dear to me
I have too
disappointed
betrayed
been opaque

So this morning
You asked me to draw near
Exhale my sin
in confession
Request Spirit-eyes to see

then Inhale
your fragrance
as you wash me clean
and hand me a towel

Dear Jesus
Save me once more.

Mother's Day Solidarity Call

I know many mothers; and have met many more.

There are no accidental mothers; just that not always, it was a woman's free, willing, ready choice.

Here are two photos of moms I love: a simple Indian woman with her half-clad babe and the blonde with her dark African babe.

Mothers come in so many shades.

There are Mothers in India, Thailand, Indonesia... the ones who live far away from the bright city lights and are not tethered to a cable that wires their imagination to a world of 'have's'. Those mothers? They have stomachs to feed.

Then there are those mothers I read about and weep. Those mothers who roused to the sound of sirens and grab their kids, kicking dust for miles with only the clothes on their back. Those mothers who in the mob moment loses grip of the child and now are haunted by that moment as they pray and cry till there are no-more-tears in the camps. Those mothers who have watched as their children are taken, ravished, killed. These kinds of mothers? I have no words for what they suffer.

Usually when we mothers think about 'mothering', we see ourselves, our moms, and maybe other moms we know personally. But there are so many mothers out there!

We need to set our lives against the larger canvas - and what we juxtapose it with makes such a huge difference!

I will tell you this too: I have met and known mothers who are 'tais tais'; rich and robed in splendour - but living with an inner posture of poverty and want, literally worried sick over house and husband and offspring.

Fellow mothers, what is this wondrous, painful, incredible, and tremendous thing we have been called to?

How do we respond to it? 

How do we know when we do it well, or not? 

Do we ever fail?

Fellow mothers, in a world that says "if it's worth anything, it gets paid, handsomely" - how do we continue in our daily trenches when the affirmation cracks like thin ice?

How do we keep going when there is no interlude with popcorn and streamers?

I remember my own mother - whose life I described as both entrancing and repulsive to me at the same time. I adored her passion for life and her endless capacity to care; but I felt unnerved to think that a woman's lot is so much sacrifice.

She was three when she lost her dad. With a mom who gambled away the meagre earnings, she learnt to be resourceful and to provide, cook, clean, plan, and scheme! She raised her mother and brother. Later she would marry my dad and repeat the whole thing over, this time, including a mean-spirited mother-in-law, and nine children! 

She never had a boudoir but wore mostly the same few clothes and her shoes were hospital-issue where she worked. She would walk with aching legs to save the few coins for a larger meal for us. As a litle girl, i believed my mother could do anything! She cooked, cleaned, sewed, made pretty our sparse home, told stories, comforted us, laughed at our antics... and with each season, she just kept growing and glowing. It wasn't until we were grown and started supporting her that she began to spend on herself.

Most of my growing up years then, I admired my mother and wanted her grace and prowess - but  - I told myself I would not lose so much in the process.

I didn't understand.

The paradox of dying to live and giving to receive stumbles us. It is a faint voice, seemingly unreasonable, even foolhardy with the noisy clatter each day of 'get what you want', 'don't let others take advantage of you', 'watch out for yourself'...

I'll be honest. I still don't get it quite yet. Maybe I am too tethered to the world and need to cut loose some more.

If Jesus invites us to be the branches extending from him as the vine; I am the branch with many other IVs inserted into parts; busily drinking off approval, competition, strife, fear... I am not pure juice. I am sloshing a little tipsy with the flavours and favours of the world.

So  --

when my sweet child grows up as she must and turns into a stranger; I panicked that I have lost years of pure maternal investment and career sacrifice.

when others cringe at the son's outburst and hurl accusations, I am a crumpled heap.

when the future possibilities for my children could turn out to be sloppy-artist and itinerant juggler (no kidding) I pace within my heart and wonder what went wrong.

You see how quickly I move dead centre and it becomes about me? I think it negates the whole idea of sacrifice and being for others when little old me walks on stage and demand the floodlights shift to reveal a star!

I need other mothers to mother - well.

So here's what I figure. I need to issue a call for solidarity. Mothers, let us stand together. Let us cheer each other on. Let us remind each other of the sheer nobility and washboard-knuckle pain reality of this thing we call 'mothering'. Let us also step back often enough to see the larger canvas, and weep along with fellow moms. We fight different battles. But one thing we all do: we fight: for life, for hope, for love.  And our --

laying down,
letting go,
leaving it aside... 

it is all Jesus' way...  I always wondered how as a gal I could be like Jesus. Mothering showed me a deep, amazing way to be so. He laid aside His majesty. We may too, with wrinkly bosoms. He lets his right go. We may too, when we drink from the sippy cup, go de-caf, stop smoking... He left a lot aside; the reasonable stuff of income security and a carpenter's dream workshop perhaps...and more. For some of us, the children we have demands we be certain kinds of moms: stay-home, doing odd jobs, regulars at hospitals, special services. principals' offices...

Jesus gets us!

At that cross. His mother stood with him. A child and a mother can get each other that way when they were both willing to drink from the same cup. We can get our God's heart (and he is wont to use maternal images: the mother hen being a favourite) and enjoy a solidarity there.

In our crosses, Jesus stands with us.


As fellow moms, let us stand with one another.


Solidarity challenge this mother's day season:
1. pray or send a gift to a mother with less
2. don't compare, complain or compete with another woman (especially your mom!)
3. give thanks for being a mom
4. share this post and solidarity challenge!

How you and I can live Easter/Kingdom

Why do we love Easter?

When I was young, the church gave us red eggs. It was a treat! There was also so much more smiling, an air of happiness and celebration. Jesus rose from the dead! He is alive!

Then Jesus' resurrection moved from eggs to inquiry: did he really rise from the dead? Where is the evidence?

Then it moved on some more. Easter was not to vindicate that I chose a better faith - one that was sound, true, and powerful - but it was God about doing something; and giving me a chance to be a part of it.

This final understanding continues to unfold for me.

It began as some rather vague connection about defeating death and so guaranteeing eternal life, proving heaven is real, facing down death.. and then moved on to: overcoming, healing, freedom ..
Indeed, one can attach a host of true as well as romantic notions to the  Easter event. I have even read that Jesus' first appearance to women was a woman's right triumph! All shades of the religious spectrum interpret and use the Easter event to great effect {minus the bunnies and chocolates}.


But to get to what Easter is about; we have to get Jesus. It was his triumph to begin with. It was he who embraced the death, reckoned with the powers, entered the abyss, and then rose!

To make sense of Easter then, we would have to trace what he has been saying and how he has been living. We would have to observe what mattered to him - what he would have been willing to die for.

Jesus' message is the Kingdom of God.

"repent for the Kingdom of God is at hand"

It is a message continuous with the story God revealed and preserved in the Torah. In fact, Jesus used the Torah on several occasions to connect who he is, and what he did with God's great act of deliverance and with God Himself. Jesus did not hide his divinity or the Divine Agenda he was about.

“If I, with the finger of God, cast out demons among you, then the Kingdom of God has come near to you” {reference to Moses}

Followers of Jesus need to know this. Seekers of truth need to ponder this. Pursuers of passion need to grapple with this.

Jesus lived the Kingdom in his words and his ways. It was pretty scandalous in his day -

Welcoming children.

Talking with women and even granting them status as disciples, and accepting support from them

Befriending the dubious and doubtful

Leading a team of not-quite-theres

Both observing religious obligations and breaking them 

Wait --- it looks like it would still be pretty scandalous today!

Children - we can talk a lot about them; but in Singapore, they are still the fringe. From school hours to performance expectations; we don't consider their needs but demand they fit our economic framework. I was appalled to hear that school buses ply as early as 5.45am because they want to leave on time to ferry factory workers. Don't we have enough to nationalise/subsidise transport for our children if we want to? We can make the buses go round robin in estates to send all children to schools in an area? All those minibuses that serve condominiums can be tapped on?

Women - all we ever talk about is women making it on par with men! That is our measure. Women make wonderful disciples, leaders, evangelists and so on in all seasons of their lives. We are designed to multi-task, to adapt to seasons, to nurture and build community. Interestingly, these obvious traits are now seen as useful in the boardroom {yet again}. In our world that equates worth with economic value; many women are not valued: home-makers, care-givers, wives, grandmothers...Too little imagination is allowed for women to flourish as creatives, community builders, life-shapers unless it comes with a label called 'work' or 'entrepreneur'.

Doubting? Not quite reformed? - Most of them are walking around in the corridors of our church; some are even leading up front. But is there a safe space for them to share their questions; to be helped to grow and overcome? We are impatient for change, growth, commitment. After three years with Jesus, the disciples were still very clueless and unformed in many ways. We need to handle the tension that with the indwelling Holy Spirit in believers today; amazing growth can happen. Yet, some seem to to be given more to doubt and skepticism. But where there is a seed of faith; give it time to germinate.

Dream team? - Not a few of the 12 smelt fishy - they had issues. They weren't sterling model citizens. My bug bear? We gravitate like bugs to a light when it comes to selecting leaders: let's go with the rich, successful, respectable {which can also mean busy, and quite set in their ways}. I have met and worked with many amazing leaders; but this approach can dangerously load huge Egos onto the wagon. Conflict that's in the end all about personality - too many to name.


But I am heartened because we are growing up, people!

I have met individuals who have overhauled their lifestyles, who reach out to children, the fringe, the sick, the elderly. Individuals who care for the earth. Individuals who take their voice all the way up to the Parliament.
There are those who work with passion from the ground up to change mindsets, instil hope, create social spaces and conversations that ignite imagination and free souls.
There are groups that want to foster a richer, deeper connection with God.
There are groups made up of Kingdom ragamuffins who want to help each other along.

Signs of the Kingdom!

What about you? Which aspect of the Kingdom stirs within you? Put your hand to the plough and work at it. Follow Jesus!

Here's an idea for you to find clues to your Kingdom portion:
read the Gospels slowly. Savour the stories and the words. Which one repeatedly jumps up at you? Which one moves you to tears? Which one made you sigh and wished you were present; and what would you be doing there?

Holy Week 4: the power of a soul's shape, 30 pieces of silver and how much Jesus is to you

Someone may yet make another movie of the last days of Jesus.

It has all the elements of a great story: there is tension, scheming, gender observations, power struggle, religion, politics, crowds, and of course; a hero.

A silver screen rendering that awakens our imagination and stirs us emotionally may help our faith.

Or maybe not.

The answer lies in the shape of our souls. Is it receptive and open, or has it calcified and hardened?


The final days of Jesus unfolds as an outcome of soul shapes really.

It was the souls of the religious elite, the people, of Pilate and Herod - that shaped how conversations went and how the events moved on one to the next.

If Pilate had a hunger for truth, he may have made a different choice and things would be different.... Equally, it was Jesus' soul - determined to do the Father's will - that led him to clash with the powers and people; and saw him end up on the Cross.

Yes, God's plan to save us would still stand. But the shapes of the souls involved each of them in a specific way. 

Yet this most powerful reality is largely hidden from our view. As a result, we may not notice or pay attention to the state and shape of our souls. Yet it is powerful to turning situations one way or another. Among the disciples, one of them would be instrumentally used by the Enemy against his Rabbi, his teacher, his friend. In his soul, there was a churning of discontent, anger, disappointment with Jesus. He was unable to get Jesus' priority. He had allowed himself to compromise, raitonalising it away... his soul was taking on a shape that would not fit the shape of the Cross.

“Why wasn't this perfume sold and the money given to the poor? It was worth a year’s wages.” He did not say this because he cared about the poor but because he was a thief; as keeper of the money bag, he used to help himself to what was put into it.                      ~ John 12v5-6

In the end, when Judas' soul was shaped to fit the equivalent of 30 pieces of silver.



I have sadly seen more Christians fight over money than probably anything else.


Maybe we have forgotten Jesus' words; calling us to be mindful of the power of money to dent our souls and recast us in a mould that in the end wouldn't allow us to deny ourselves, take up our cross and follow -- which means we may well bear the Name and be on a very different path.

“No one can serve two masters. Either you will hate the one and love the other, or you will be devoted to the one and despise the other. You cannot serve both God and money. ~ Matthew 6v24

I have always been intrigued that Jesus singles out Money as the competition for our allegiance, loyalty, and faith.

And if it stays as a cognitive curiosity I am in trouble. I need to hear, seriously hear this words and ask myself the hard questions -

what does money mean to me?
what do I really look to for security?
will I trust God when I am in want?
will I strike out at a brother or sister when I am robbed?

This inner seeing and search will reveal the shape of our souls.

This is the sad commentary of Judas' soul -

"...thirty silver coins, the price set on him by the people of Israel.." ~ Matthew 27v9

This is it? A man is but thirty pieces of silver? Wouldn't this mean that when we betray our Saviour; that is how much He is worth to us too? All of Judas' dreams, experiences, personal moments with Jesus. All of Jesus' life and message added up to but thirty pieces of silver....which would purchase a small piece of real estate. It is shocking and grievous isn't it?

Our soul shape shows how much Jesus means to us. 

And mind you, it is this not-easily-seen shape that is shaping things up.

.... perhaps this song as you reflect: O Sacred Head Now Wounded {click}

credit: kellylydick

Holy Week 2: who do you think you are?

I remember my late father. He who went to school (before he got kicked out for playing the fool too much) under the British... he used to write the most formal notes for us at times, such as this:

To whom it may concern,
Father is out. The water in the kettle is boiled.

This is the language he knew when it comes to writing. We found it hilarious and laughed secretly behind his back.

Today as Jesus enters and walks around the temple area, a group of rulers+teachers+elders (yes, the power religious triad combo of the day) comes up to him, couches their sneering in polite-sounding words, 

"Tell us, by what authority you are doing these things..Who gave you this authority?" {Luke 20} -- 

when what they meant was no less: 

"Who the heck do you think you are? Tell us the true source of your power!".

Over the years, I have developed very mixed feelings towards these religious leaders. As a young believer, it was at first easy to just cast them as the 'bad guys'. Later they would be 'thick', 'proud', 'stubborn', 'political', 'insecure'....

The reason the feelings became mixed is simple: I found all those same words I describe them with; many insinuated through the sermons we hear -- I found I could describe myself the same way. I was dense, proud, stubborn, insecure and more. I remember railing at God in a season of painful confusion, "who do you think you are?!". I could not make sense of what was happening and what God was up to.

God is not easy to get.

In fact, Jesus cleverly dodges their question. There are times God doesn't answer us because we are not asking the right questions. He finds it needful to use His silence to develop is us a finer-tuned hearing.

With the religious powerhouses still in audience, Jesus goes on to tell an evocative story. It's a story we can all get - as long as the story it is about 'others'.  "May this never be!" we would have echoed with the listeners. How can the tenants be so ungrateful and downright evil to ignore the rightful  of the owner; to the extent of hoping to inherit the land by killing his son?!

 Jesus looks at them directly and counter-warns them of the grave danger they are in; for they are about to do the exact thing they just deplored:

"The stone the builders rejected has become the capstone.
Everyone who falls on that stone will be broken to pieces, but he on who it falls will be crushed."

These are words God gave to Isaiah {see chap 8} the prophet in a revelation of who He is: I am a God you cannot easily get people. Some of you will stumble so bad, you will be so challenged... some of you will not survive a true encounter with God. Hard, harsh words.

Religious pedigree and legacy will not ensure anything. Crushed and shattered - those who refuse God's self-revelation will be swept off - that's the sense in the word used.

God endures our questions and challenges. But He turns and questions us.

The most classic example we have of this is found in the story of Job. The point of that story? God doesn't owe us an answer. We owe him an accounting.

And this week, if instead of counting on our filthy rags-righteousness, we would ask to see God afresh... gazing on God-condensed/interpreted/simplified in Jesus - we would see God wants to deal with the accounts. In the story Jesus told, God sent prophets and finally His own Son!

It is a clear word of warning to the religious elite that they were in danger of losing what they considered their inalienable right to God's favour. They get it; but instead of repentance, they looked for a way to arrest him.

They get it but they don't - because they would not accept this lowly carpenter-trained leader of a ragamuffin group to be anymore than they would allow him to be. Jesus simply did not match their expectations. Jesus did not fit their frame of reference.

Jesus was - not - like them.

Who do you think Jesus is, really?

Does He surprise, perhaps offend you? Did you feel he could have handled your situation differently, better?


Perhaps like me, you may find as you imagine yourself there, you too would find the story of injustice unbearable and cry out too, "may this never be!". Then Jesus asks you to recall the words of Isaiah - and you realise the story is a warning of the hypocrisy and hardness of our hearts: we don't really want God's justice; what we want is His favour -- on.us. And deep in the recesses of our hearts is that creeper of self-righteousness that quickly clings and wraps around people and situations... a dangerous weed that turns on its host with the venom of self-condemnation as easily as it clouds our hearts with judgmentalism.

The heresy of Grace is that we still link it with a sense of being-deserving. So those who are not so blessed are therefore not-so-deserving.

Would you allow yourself to break over your inability to grasp this God-man, and in your breaking and spiritual poverty open up fresh spaces for God to enter in, this week?

Jesus did not stop with this one story. He persisted. He told three more parables, answered more questions and finally in a clear demonstration of his sorrow over their coming destruction, wept over Jerusalem.

God coaxes, works wonders, enthralls... and weeps.

But He is the capstone. His heart breaks for us. Our response is to let ourselves be broken as we encounter Him. May we find him our sanctuary - in a deeper sense this week.

"The LORD Almighty is the one you are to regard as holy,
he is the one you are to fear,
he is the one you are to dread,
and he will be a sanctuary; ...
a stone
a trap and a snare." ~ Isaiah 8v13-14

Love shows us the details matter

I never had much patience for details.

I would finish your sentence (in my mind of course) which meant I pretty much stopped listening by that point. In school, I used to make notes and doodle and as the teacher's voice trails off, my mind would be busy with connecting what I heard with other stuff and maybe even have my left brain begin debating with my right! For meetings, I would draw up the agenda, and move the meeting along, satisfied that we had taken a helicopter ride across the terrain and had a big picture view, never mind the individual trees that may require attention.

I'm married to someone who has a head for details and feels much happiness when he knows the exact route, location and cost.

How long will this take?
Who will be there?
What's this costing us again?

His questions used to rile me as petty, nervous and unnecessary; and so the uneasy and often painful dance of opposites called Step-on-toes was a regular feature in our life.

Now, many years later, I pick up some new dance steps - and I realise how important the details can be; indeed how life-saving. When I listen to someone, I have to listen for details. In my coaching and mentoring, often what is most needful is muffled between the lines and need to be probed and surfaced. Only when the vital information is gleaned can the response be truly helpful. No point giving someone painkiller for a hemorrhage.

But there is a threat to this necessary life skill of noticing the details that count.

Today with hi-spped ethernet, we - naturally detailed or learning to be - can be so swept by the traffic on this colossal highway that we lose sight of what we stepped into the traffic for in the first place. One link here and another post there, one tweet here and another instagram there. The speed on this information highway I find my introvert, cautious, detail-oriented half losing his edge as infornever ever slows or pauses for you. Everything becomes a blur as we careen down the autobahn - making it hard for us to pick up any details! We can read stuff and jump to conclusions, tempted to 'like' something because we really want to be liked by our friends.

Our lives are a blur too as one task piles up on another and one moment morphs into another - we grasping and munching at life, hungry to suck the marrow out of it in our hyper-consumerism.

a baby is born. next.
a friend marries. next.
a family member is gone. next.
a vacation is over. next.
what's next....?

Always on the the next thing. And people, even our souls become vague. We hardly truly touch, feel, know anymore 

- until -

Humanity teeming at 7 billion. Such a huge mass. We become just Homo Sapiens, a species, surviving by the fittest - until -

God became man.
God an difficult, vague, faraway, abstract idea, reality ... becomes concrete, near, specific, detail.
He has a face, speaks a certain twang, has his laugh and his own eye-twinkle, perhaps a favourite dish or colour.
We may not know these bits much but there is enough to think of Jesus and get to know Him.

The early church looked to Jesus in a disciplined fashion. He was constantly in their consciousness. They devised a new calendar to reflect that life revolves around God's purposes. January is the season of Epiphany.

Originating in the Eastern Church, the Epiphany takes its name from the Greek epiphania, which speaks of a revelation and an awakening. It celebrates the divinity of Christ shining through his humanity when the Wise Men came, guided by a star; during his baptism, and at the first miracle when Jesus turned water into wine.* It's a beautiful notion. It is noticing the details. Is Jesus God? What details give that away?

When I think back on how I came to Christ and how I have grown; I can see moments of awakening and of deepening. Personal epiphanies where Christ becomes particularly striking and meaningful to me. The details of a faith being filled in on a large canvas.

And love - cannot happen in the abstract. It is concrete, specific, particular. Who wants to sing a general love song? No, the songs that reach our hearts are ballads of one man and one woman's trials and triumphs.

In our hurt and busyness, we use a very large brushstroke and apply general strokes
all men
all teens
all boys
all girls

But love is about 

this man. this teen. this boy. this girl. at this time

As we move in February where Valentines are bought and given, I am going to look at some specifics and details of love. Join me and share with me what strikes you as we go.

*catholicculture.org

Newness: it happens when we walk like Jesus

The most amazing endeavour any human can undertake

is to get out of his own skin.

After all, the furthest distance is between two hearts.

This means the most courageous exploration and the grandest discovery is the road of com-passion: to share and come along, in suffering. Indeed, the happiest times the heart, the home, and even the earth has known are times when we reach out to each other and sought to understand and co-operate. But our world is scarred with recurring reminders that pock-mark our humanity - just this past week, the crazy grief as hearts filled with suspicion and rage give vent to its poison gunning down innocent lives.

Cutting through all the rhetoric and press perspectives, the needy question no one can answer in our media remains: what can bridge these hearts?

She told me how she visited her neighbour with dementia and was surprised the old lady could call her by name. the old lady is locked up at home the whole day while her son goes to work. It's a terrible plight; and I asked if God may desire her to reach out in some small way, maybe to bring a meal? I see the reluctance in her eyes. It would be easy to chide someone for being selfish; but aren't we all? And the distance within our divided heart is enough for a heroic conquest.

The church service began and this song came on King of all the earth {listen as you read on}.

Suddenly, i see a picture before me as the song played on. I caught a glimpse of someone's back and felt instinctively that it was the Lord. I the follower, a few steps behind my Lord, watching him from behind. Then it hit me.

Most of us carry about us so much dissatisfaction. There are so many bits of our life we don't like and our constant desire and sometimes prayer is for God to remove or change the circumstances. Sometimes, we reach a spot where we allow that perhaps what needs to change is ourselves. But we often linger there and stay our gaze on our unhappiness. The change doesn't come for a long time or even; never ever comes.

What about Jesus? Does he implore God to remove him from sticky situations, zap his enemies or with a divine sleight of hand re-arrange his circumstances?

We hear him plead in Gethsemane, yes, but in his daily life, there is none of this terror. Everything in the world that he went through is not known to him when he was in Eternal Union with God beyond our time-space. But the Cross is a particular terror of such cosmic proportions; Gethsemane is beyond our comprehension. I refuse to claim it as a picture of our need to surrender.

Let's face it. we have hoped for that boss to disappear, that colleague to flop, that friend to quietly un-friend us so we can breathe again... Yes, include all the venomous, murderous thoughts while we are at it.

Those are the thoughts Jesus won't entertain because it is not in His being to go in that direction.

I know. I used to protest too: he is God after all! Yes he is, but we are "partakers of the divine nature" Peter reminds us. {see 2 Peter 1v4}

Peter's fellow apostle puts it across in a different way in his letter called 1 John. He made it pretty clear: it is one way or the other. Either you are following Christ, trusting Him for your salvation, and one of His... in which case, you are to "walk as Jesus did" {see 1 John 2v6}.

I thought back to what I saw while the song played. His back was a little bent, as he is trying to fit into a smallish space; as if he sees something, or someone, and wants to reach it.

I hate bending myself to adjust, adapt and risk pulling a muscle or two. I'd like to avoid those uncomfortable spaces, those unlovely people who make me feel like they are draining the living lights out of me.

But Jesus is going to

Encounter
Enter
Engage

He is going to

Throw light
Touch
Transform

and this is precisely how Newness works.
We follow the Newness Bringer - he who has wrestled with the worst of darkness, been held hostage by death, and triumphed over all of it. And now, through His Spirit working in us, He is seeking to spread Newness for and through us -- as we walk as He walks.

I just returned from a gathering of national pastors.One of the best pieces of news I heard is that some young people in Singapore have found out that those garbage cleaners, mostly from Bangladesh, save on their finances by living in the dumps, sleeping next to the rodents who recently grabbed the headlines. These young people have started visiting and befriending these workers. This is Newness in a sleek city of good looks, organised days and clean streets!


Martin Dugand* found seven traits in all good explorers who actually carve out new trails and solve mysteries: 

Curiosity, 
courage, 
passion, 
independence, 
perseverance, 
hope and 
self-discipline

What a new way to think of our Lord, the Explorer! We too are now explorers because a whole new territory has opened up for us.

Go on, look hard. If you see Jesus walk right ahead of you, walk right into that scary, disconcerting, stressful, uptight and inconvenient situation. he will even slow his step and take your hand.


*The Explorers, the book

today, my children's names remind me of greater things

There is this conversation Jesus had with a woman of questionable repute. As the man, Jesus starts the conversation off (because if he didn't, it would not happen because women back then were basically second class or even property).

If I may, this is sorta how it went:

J (very tired): Will you give me a drink?
W: What? Are you crazy? You are a Jew, and I am a Samaritan*. We don't get along remember? How can you break the rules?  

J: If you can see past all that, you will know I can give you a drink that truly settles your life's thirst.
W (eyes J carefully): hey, how you plan to get water, you didn't bring a bucket. This well was dug centuries ago by Jacob. Our ancestors drank from it. Are you greater than them? 

J: this water relieves thirst but doesn't satisfy and overflow from your life.
W: sounds good, Give me some, coming here is really a lot of work. 

J: Go call your husband.
W: I have no husband! 

J (smiles gently): you are accurate here. You have had five husbands. The man you are with now is not a husband.
W: You can tell... some sort of prophet huh? Then answer me, who is right? Where is the right place to worship God? Did the Jews or the Samaritans get it right? 

J: The place is no longer the issue. Listen, salvation will come through the Jews as God planned; but it's for everyone. God the Father is Spirit so those who worship him must do so in spirit and in truth.

Fifteen years ago, we talked about having children. The hubs was not keen; but I was pretty set on the wonders of having children and very excited about being a mother. We agreed that he would take some time to pray about it. He came back with a rather nervous demeanour but conceded that children are accorded worth, purpose and glory in the Bible. Our baby girl was conceived the following month.

The point that Jesus made in that conversation captivated me. Many of us by then are pretty jaded about where the world is headed; and not a few friends have sworn off having children. But there is this: there is a group who seeks and responds to God - and they do so not depending on tradition but by being animated by spirit and truth.

I am a huge fan of tradition in many ways; and call people to return to a historic, tested faith. But there is also this: every generation will have challenges that must be confronted and it requires a move of the Spirit that emboldens and an anchorage in the Truth so they won't get swept off their feet.

My firstborn bears the middle name Spirit-of-God ~רוח אלוהים
Six years later, the son enters the world with theTruth enfolded in the middle of his name ~אמת

People name their children for many reasons:
popularity of the name
in honour of family members
expressing aspirations
a sense of the child's destiny

These middle names I felt inspired to include were more like a proclamation. I wanted to shout out: Spirit and Truth!

Interestingly, many days, these two Hebrew words shout back at me, holding me up against the Light~

are you guided by the Holy Spirit or relying on your own past experiences and success?
are you seriously seeking the truth or will you get lazy nd gloss over stuff?

I never get past these questions. Even now. I need to prepare talks and sermons. I mentor. I need to make decisions and respond to the decisions others make. Will it be in Spirit and Truth?

The thing about growing older is you lose confidence in the right places.

When I was younger, I said, "Lord, lead me in Spirit and Truth!" because I didn't know very much anyway, so I needed to be led; and honestly I did not see much of what was coming!

Now, I cry out, "Lord, blanket, build, bolster, barricade me..." for I know much more; and it's mostly about how easy it is to stray into Self and falsehood. 

I guess the real stuff becomes all the more precious when you see how frequently the counterfeits are traded around, when you have hurt and been hurt because the Spirit and the Truth were absent.

Perhaps lift a prayer for me please: I am feeling a great need to remain in, dig deeper, be defined - by Spirit and Truth.

You too? Share with me in the comments so I can pray for you too.

*the story is found in the Bible in John chapter 4. A Samaritan is part-Jew so rejcted by the pedigree Jews.

Form 'other' to 'another' and the wide mercies of God our cradling Grace

My life has some pretty basic routines. One of them is going to the neighbourhood mall Junction 8. By now I know the street, the spots to park free, the stores and the short-cuts pretty well. But still, I never quite get used to all the life I will meet each time I venture out.

Even a familiar place can yield the unfamiliar. The expected can throw up a surprise.

We can walk like the dead, going about our routines, operating like the rest of kingdom animaliae; just trying to survive another day. But we get restless, we question, we mourn, we get served a notice that jolts us awake.

Today for example, in the hustle I saw this skinny man whose eyes did not seem to focus really well.

He's not really old, not more than thirty. He was in his green and yellow uniform, standing right there in the sea of humanity streaming around him scrounging for bargains and queuing to make payment. There he stood, quite oblivious, waving his arms with palms up as if to catch falling water. I looked for a leak but did not see any. He seemed consoled too that he did not catch anything, and then proceeded to pick up his broom and pan. 

At the car park, I shifted my cumbersome trolley and gave a wide swath to another cleaner who smiled appreciatively as he maneuvered his mop-bin-on-wheels across. 

"It's easy to feel good for kindness, but you aren't different from him".

 I know. 

 Like him and the other, we are all but souls with skins on. All trying to make it through.

Later, as my car perched nervously at the slope turning onto the road, I glimpsed ahead of me a van that had the words "Inspiring Hope, Enriching Lives". It was the van that brought the small party who live with muscular dystrophy for their weekly outing. 

I am rushing through my gorcery routine and I am as usual feeling thirsty; and all this Life is asking me to pay attention.

There was a time when our thoughts were 'other' - we see someone different and we thank God we are not born/bred/turned out so. We feel a twinge of sympathy and when the charity drives come along, we are moved to help with our monies. But there remains a I/they divide. What's more, we often compare and augment 'I' by classifying and categorising 'them' so that the 'I' feels stronger/better/more.


But there comes a time when we see just 'another'. It is just another life really; and very much like ours. Another life wanting to mean something, be useful, to laugh, be loved and love. The garb and language and colour and words may all be different, but it comes to the same stuff of dust seeking glory. This is why I am upset these days --

when I think how we interpret Jesus' words that he came to give us life abundant as a narrow, materialistic, self-indulgent offer that we deserve. 

when i find myself forgetting so quickly that the awkward, badly dressed teen is imago Dei as I am. 

when I push my closest ones away too quickly because my soul is out of shape and I don't know what to do with my jutting angles; and it is their fault for coming too close.

In Brennan Manning's final book, All Is Grace, he writes simply of his life without fanfare or any need to embellish. His was a life-time of struggle with alcoholism. His was a life others can only dream about: book successes and a life message about Abba Love...Yet here was a man, another, like you and me. He had his triumphs and his demons. He lived honestly as he could. His is not written to garner a book prize. It almost read like a child's re-telling of a long adventure.

The simple truth that grips your heart and changes you is this: Ordinary life shines because it is all Grace.

What would your life and mine look like if we lived like we truly believed this Grace is wrapping us safe and cradling us through the storms?

 What would our world look like if we saw each other as just another, and helped each other sip often of the sweet nectar of Grace rather than rush around thirsty?

A great song as we ponder The Love of God by Rich Mullins


There's a wideness in God's mercy
I cannot find in my own
And He keeps His fire burning
To melt this heart of stone
Keeps me aching with a yearning
Keeps me glad to have been caught
In the reckless raging fury
That they call the love of God

Now I've seen no band of angels
But I've heard the soldiers' songs
Love hangs over them like a banner
Love within them leads them on
To the battle on the journey
And it's never gonna stop
Ever widening their mercies
And the fury of His love

Oh the love of God
And oh, the love of God
The love of God

Joy and sorrow are this ocean
And in their every ebb and flow
Now the Lord a door has opened
That all Hell could never close
Here I'm tested and made worthy
Tossed about but lifted up
In the reckless raging fury
That they call the love of God