You, beloved, are an answer (in this dark, bad world), but not the usual way you think.

"Bad news sells".
"You need an arc, with a rising tension.."
"The hero must meet a challenge so great, he must risk death..."

It turns out, these are true, in news reporting, in movie-making, in our experiences.

homeless Koala

Still, we dream, yearn and often naively imagine life can be smooth-sailing. Which explains why prosperity gospel succeeds, why disciples hike off, why so much continues to break around us - from friendships to partnerships, marriage to parenting. We refuse to be heroic. We reject our villainy.

Yes - we are both heroes and villains. Light and Dark. Life and Death.

And the typical advice given is to grow the light, starve the dark (yes that tale about the old man with two dogs, one good, the other bad)... focus on the good, do more good....


Jesus tells us plainly:

No one is good—except God alone. {Mark 10v18}

You know, Jesus gets pretty absolute about things. We, prefer to hedge and fuzz.

Goodness is a God quality. We aspire, pretend, and at times achieve some good. Sometimes, even astounding good. But, our good acts aren't the same as us being good in essence. Because, honestly, our motives are rarely a hundred percent without self-interest.

God, on the other hand, is Goodness - because he really, does not need us or anything from us - but he considers our needs and cares for us.

PhyoMoe Agora Images

So I am going to suggest Another Way Altogether that will take the strife, comparison and hard edge off doing good. A way that enables us to honestly acknowledge our villainy and at the same time, arouse our heroism.

It is called Blessedness.

Blessedness is not an intrinsic or earned quality. It is bestowed, given, offered - and there is great power when we realise our blessedness.

Blessedness is not about avoiding pain, skirting hardship, being protected from loss, confusion, regrets or even recurring struggles.

It has very little in fact, to with the externals of your life: from relationships to possessions, realities to potentialities. Rather, is is a depth-experience of being wanted, being a great idea, fearfully and wonderfully crafted. It's the truth of your life as being valid, precious, unique...of you being sensed, felt, loved...

It is a truth that gets infused into the sinews and molecules of your being when ordinary life is touched by the Transcendent, when the temporal shimmers with the eternal, when the wind from angelic wings whiff close..., what Paul described as "being seated in the heavenly realms {Ephesians 1v3} --- a Position, a Posture, and a Potential that you cannot bargain for, access by force or sneak by scheming.

Instead, you are led to such a place, with royalty, with God, because you dared to follow...and you find yourself coming...Home. The one Home you have been searching for all you life!

 In this Home-space, feel safe, it's bounteous, and full of Life -- even though not a bit of your circumstances may have changed...  yet.. --

From here, you regard everything with a strange sense...like invincibility: 'how can anything ever really hurt you, again?'.  At the same time, you have a ready vulnerability, where you are no longer afraid and feel the need to hide your darker shades of your story.

Both the Light and the Dark become stark and real, and you know a Greater Truth embraces and encompasses both.

Your power of choice is pressed upon your soul and you find yourself choosing again, and again, for the Light.


At Home, in God's courts, which are held by the pillars of righteousness and faithfulness, there's no falsification, pretense or role-play. Rather, there's an inverted sense of abandonment. Whereas life in general reinforces our loneliness and weaknesses, often causing us feelings of rejection and abandonment, here, we can release our efforts and masks and rest in a security and safety that makes -no - demands of us, yet gently compels us to be the best versions of ourselves.

Home is where we belong, where we are beloved and come to see our Blessedness. Home is being with God in complete honesty and surrender.

And so, we can do the most good because we have come Home to Goodness.


The way home is a mixture of large, determined, upward strides, as well as small, consistent steps. These involve three trails.

(1) Detachment - to free us

This is not to become some unfeeling glob please! Rather, it's about refusing to be fooled into thinking that our identity and worth depend on people, possessions and pains. We can define ourselves in so many ways. Some choose family, others choose achievements, yet other still, frame themselves in their pains.

Things that are a part of our lives shape us, and may even confine us. But they don't have to define us.

Yes, every day, something, someone, your past or your future can threaten to cloud over the truth of your Blessed Belovedness.

But, if you step away from it all for a bit, and sit with the deeper truth that you are Blessed and Beloved, that in the midst of the hard and nasty, God is with you and offers you Life and Light.... in time, the veil is torn and you find that you are Home.

Try it and see.

Cry when you need.
Rant when you need.
Then, silence your rancour and let Scripture's cleansing and renewing power do its work.


(2) Contentment- to anchor us

Life cannot be savored in retirement. It has to savored now. (In fact, if you cannot taste life's goodness now, you may not later, and..what about.. heaven!).

Money loses its charm after a time, and can turn around to be a mean and demanding master.

Jesus used very graphic language:

the pagans run after these things... {Matt 6v33}

Running is a strenuous activity. It demands a lot, engages a lot, and leaves us winded. Running can also be rather addictive and during a second wind, you can feel rather powerful. But you cannot run forever.

When do you stop running? When you wisely consider and realise that there isn't even a race. Or when you are finally exhausted? Which state would you rather be in?

The practical way to develop contentment is of course, to practise gratitude*, which is well supported by health and brain science to have enormous benefits to our overall well-being.

When we are not busy asking -
"where is the good deal?"
"how come he has more?"
"when can I have ...?"

We can slow our pace to anchor.

A ship cannot anchor while sailing at twenty-give knots. It has to slow. Modern consumerism's evil is that we are being 'eaten' alive while we think we are 'happily consuming'. We have eschew the insatiable needs consumerism generates in us, slow down, and anchor.

We have to face the dark of our fears that we won't be noticed, known or celebrated. We need to soak up the Light that we are noticed, known and celebrated -- and by One who doesn't change His view of us because He is in a funk!

It is only when we anchor that we can be ready to be an answer to the many cries and questions that are churning all around us.

- Stock-take your consumer habits (turn off notifications perhaps)
- Design and live within a budget (it's a thing that works and is great for training kids)
- Make giving a regular habit (for eg. if you plan that each time you buy an item, you will buy a second to give away)


(3) Attentiveness - to liven us

Most of us live in the past (stewing over what went wrong or what could be better) or in the future (imagining what could be). Often, in the present, we are fretting about our responses and how others view us.

Where are we actually? Rather absent.

Attentiveness opens our eyes to notice and marvel at Life and Light. It makes complaining harder. Striving feels like such a waste of the moment. The wonder and giftedness of so much begins to dawn on us. Details present themselves to us and creates bold relief for us to recognise that we are hidden glory.

We take ourselves both lightly and seriously at the same time, knowing when to do which.


So friends,

Continue to bend towards the Light
Do all the good you can

But - follow the Spirit's call to walk into your Belovedness, where you touch the shimmering Goodness of God, and let it find its expression in and through you.

We can change the world we are a part of - through this deep, total revolution with us.

When we are attentive, we may be better listeners (and that will heal so many broken hearts and even help in the restoration of those who are suffering mentally) 

When we are anchored, we may be better givers (and how much inequality and injustice needs addressing) 

When we are freed, we may be better lovers (and how that will save so many relationships)

The Dark is real. It lodges in hearts. It connects on and off-line. It embeds in systems. The news, movies and our experiences magnify it. It can intimidate us. It can overwhelm us. It can unsettle us. But you know, systems are after all, practical frameworks and protocols established according to values we uphold.

Every heart
Every mind
Every life

that begins to sense, believe and live in the Truth of being Beloved and Blessed -- also connects and embeds and can be magnified, to the praise of His Glory.

So, our world needs -

goodness
serious answers
you.

*How To Be Grateful

How To Grow Up Spiritually

How To Press Past Setbacks


[I chose animal photography for this post, because animals are impacted by whether we are good or selfish... And birds of course, were used by Jesus to remind us to trust in our Belovedness and Blessedness].

The Future Is Here

It is, because it first exists in our minds and hearts.

Yes, the future is here, lurking between the spaces of want-dream-pain avoidance-ambition-expectations ----- and it is propelling you.

Jesus told us plainly, "where your treasure is, there your heart will be also" (Matt 6)

How many years have I known these words from the Gospel? Several decades. But it's a living, present word because -

what we treasure changes with time
often what we treasure is a reflection more of a pain we want to avoid than a dream we dare to own
God wants to be our always-treasure

When I was a teen, I had visions of success (have I shared the story about the sports car, the light rain and the handsome dude?)...which shifted with the years. As a leader and pastor, I had ideas of what should be valued, fought for, stressed out about. As a parent, how my children turn out is a huge chunky preoccupation!

I also learnt that sometimes I treasure something (way too much) because somewhere along the way, it became a part of who I am (the cool lady pastor perhaps? not really, but it nearly did). Certainly, there was a time God has to awakened me to how I idolised a 'perfect' marriage, simply because I was in pain that my parents did not have that.



So now that my children are growing way too fast, with one at (gasp!) marriageable age even -- I realised that I have so far prayed vague, right-sounding prayers for their future. You know the stuff of 'I surrender them to You', 'You have a future' type thing, only occasionally daring to foray into what their future may actually be about.

Just exactly ten minutes ago, the Holy Spirit whumped me on the head and I went 'oof!'. A clarity I am not capable of flashed before the screen of my mind and a truth surfaced: the future is hazy (this word always shows up in my post when the haze is around, hmm).


So try a simple exercise with me. Visualise the future, where your kids are adults:

What are they pursuing?
What are their priorities?
How will they relate to you?
What role will you play?

Wow. I have to admit that I am not fully ready for these questions.

There is a part of me that wants them to have commercial success (money is so useful)... I consider the young adults I know who have such success and must admit I see this: working long hours, escaping on vacations, developing costly hobbies, obsessing over online shopping, Netflix...

Well, ok, my children probably won't be like this. Of course they will be serving in church, possibly in leadership... but then I hit a ...haze.

It's not like I need to know, and God forbid that I try to control anything.


But I feel the Holy Spirit is inviting me to have a conversation about this.

It's an important conversation because I need to examine my treasure.
It's an important conversation because there are things I can put in place to support the unfolding.
It's an important conversation because God wants me to anticipate and grow my trust.
It's an important conversation because I need to shield their destiny with prayer.


I am quite certain the conversation and prayer will not end up with me being able to visualise the details. But it will do these three things:

keep my heart tender to what God wants (faith)
help me be positive to developments I witness in them (hope), and
be a constructive and empowering presence in their lives (love).

The Bible says these things last - treasures indeed. (1 Corinthians 13)


What about you?
What conversation are you having with God over the children He has called you to steward?


Here are some related reads:
Helping our children 'beat' the competition
3 Anchors for your child's bright future
Raising children who Contribute
Are we Future Ready?
Maid In Singapore Kids

When My Soul Flaps Over The Church

I suppose it’s because you can’t take the pastor out of me.

But I have these tendencies - of a mother hen. Before you genderise this, remember Jesus referred to himself similarly!

Just that I am not mothering a specific local congregation right now. But my pastoral-mother-hen heart clucks up a notch at news of those who are lost, burdened, and struggling to grow in the LORD.

Here’re some scenarios that get my soul flapping:

1. news that spiritual babies are not being fed a proper basic diet to establish their health

2. that children, the elderly and non-mainstream folks don’t have a place at the table, the worship order and the missions expression.

3. another leader doing what other leaders are doing (especially traveling overseas) and it smacks of “look, I am successful”

4. when we take our western diets and without taking time to learn, love and live with a different culture, tell them this is the christian life, spiritual progress…

5. turning to triumphalistic story-telling as our main way of gospel sharing which leaves many struggling in the dust

6. failing to love the whole person - body, soul, spirit + past, present and future - not doing the hard work of seeing with God’s eyes

7. hoarding souls rather than sending them soaring

8. pride: disguised, veiled, ugly and on display (including mine, especially mine).

9. going over the same debates (worship styles, women etc) as if the church has made no progress on these weighty matters - because we did not bother to read, think, dialogue.

10. impatience: it’s everywhere, in city-living, and it colours our own walk, and the way we do and evaluate everything.

11. refusing to learn from wider wisdom, do research and practise discernment which leads to all sorts of poor decisions, esp the decision to promote and appoint based on oftentimes very worldly values.

12. consumer faith (this is huge and I have written on it  here (back in 2007!) ) - which promotes not simple, but simplistic faith.

These are serious issues that weaken our faith life, communities and witness.



Singapore loves how her smallness can contain so much. It is true. Our miraculous nature is pretty obvious. So we are excited, excited that God has something special in store for us (actually, He has something special for every nation)… and this label that we are Antioch is such a great shorthand for us to park everything under.

Antioch represents a fresh wind - away from Jerusalem - where the buzz of global missions outreach and the site where we first got our IDs as ‘christians’.

Just that, we are now 2000 years away, in a very different world. The term ‘christian’ now means very differently to what it meant then. Since globalisation and the internet, the world is also both closer and more polarised than it ever was.

So we have a lot of hard- thinking and heart-searching to do.



I also found, that it is easy to complain.



But God has called us to edify. So this is what I decide to do these days:

- I talk to people who may share these concerns and have answers (and it is very heartening to find that the Spirit is stirring and people are doing things about some of these*)

- I use my platforms to raise them when I can (such as here and here )

- I pray, for God Almighty reminds me this old truth I learnt in my youth: “more things are wrought by prayer than… (EM Bounds I believe it was)”

Share in the comments:
Do you share any of these concerns?
What do you do when your soul flaps over the church?


And here's some cheer --

*Areas people are acting on - already and upcoming for points:

2. several churches now have teams that look into this (check The Cathedral Podcast where I speak to a few such folks!)

4. we have think-tanks...and there will be work to link, strengthen and maybe have our own version of Gallup or Barna!

I looked up some images of churches in Sg (of course, home churches and those in industrial estates etc won't turn up...) Look at the lovely architecture. God is building a thing of beauty, our call is to be pillar of truth in society (1 Tim 3v15). Ain't very often we pause to give thanks, appreciate and savour what we have!

See if you can recognise these few (selected randomly):

God's Amazing Plan of Motherhood (and Sp Parenting)

Fearlessness is faith unleashed.

Mothering ignites faith.
You have to believe.

That breastmilk is best and so time, pump, feed, store (Olympic athelete Montana pumps, stores and ships her milk across the globe!).

That your child is unique and worth protecting, nourishing, nurturing.

That sacrifices are a holy exchange of life when you lose sleep and develop a whole new lifestyle so that a new life can be birthed and raised.

That while the system is good, it isn’t perfect and you have to many times, stand up for your child.

That your words, hugs, look of love, meals, stories, prayers make a difference.

And faith unleashed, makes you a fearless warrior, fighting for what truly matters: life.



Any good warrior tells you there are

boring routines

necessary and often painful disciplines to gain muscle and develop strength

sacrifices of comfort and ease

the need to develop a mindset and a tough heart

because there is a battle worth fighting for.

And the warrior is made, not born. He began as a recruit, a legionary, a simple soldier reporting for duty.



There are many ways to see and do life.

The most common is to go with the flow.

You move from one stage of life to the next, because you are ‘old enough’, ‘it’s time’, ‘expectations and body clocks kick in… This does not mean you don’t plan. In fact, you plan quite well, from thinking through options, weighing pros and cons, consulting others, doing the Math and so on… The question is whether these ways are life-giving ways, wise ways, enduring ways.

Another way to go with the flow is takes a ‘come what may’ approach and hate to plan, it’s a moment-by-moment flow. This is highly popular with the younger set, who eventually give to the need to forecast and therefore to endure the dread of discipline grudgingly.

Following the flow isn’t morally wrong, but it is easily driven by FOMO (fear of missing out) and by sheer fear (of change and taking ownership). It is easy to see how one can drift or become indistinguishable from the crowd.

This is the soldiering part of life.

At some point, life presents you with the opportunity to become a warrior.

You choose battles

You train

You fight

You win and you lose



Along the way, faith is built and fear is banished.

This is God's design, where he invites us to give up what we hold so tightly on to, and trust him for something better. Perhaps our success-to-date, our comfortable lifestyles, our well-planned ideals... which wrap within them a whole lot of fears and anxieties, aspirations and disappointments. We grasp on afraid to let go...

But if we only will!

The journey of leaning into a new journey, unfamiliar experiences, stuff we don't think we can do... that how we get to feel in our bones and our sinews the deep truth that even if our battles are similar or related, each of us is a unique individual with a destiny.

A journey that requires maturation - a dedicated process that works.


The guys have their journey from motley solider to unique warrior.

For women, mothering is the unique journey.

As I have yielded my body to God’s wondrous design to host life. As I have let my heart soften to the coos and cries of my child. As I have given up sleep, entertainment, a whole familiar and comfortable way of life. As I have made choice after choice to be the adult, grow myself and be at my best for my child(ren)....  I have done the equivalent of digging trenches, countless marches, sweat-soaked training, even arming myself. (and hence we have asked a Minister once to pay SAHMs coz it's like national service).

The trench of going over the same thing, feeding, diaper changing, repeating that story for a hundredth time… these repetitive acts dig a trench of safety for us to huddle in. 

The march back and forth to soothe and quieten, fetch another drink, patiently guide unsteady hands to pick up another toy. 

The days when there is hardly time to get a proper shower (and thankfully bub never ever minds it) much less have a slow go at the throne. 

Picking up my weapons of prayer and intercession….polished to a shine from use.

It’s so common to hear moms say they are surprised by how they can sacrifice, and how they now realise the depth of what their moms went through. But that’s merely scratching the surface.

Motherhood is deep stuff.

God carves capacities in us that cannot come another way.

The capacity of faith lies at the heart of it.

Mothering (and Sp Parenting) is hard. It can be unpredictable. It’s been said there are no guarantees (but that’s most of life anyway). You recognise the limits of control... yet -

If we accept that this is God’s wisdom and lean into it, we can become warriors who are fearless.



We know what it’s like to sleep two hours and still function.

We know our bodies mend and heal.

We know we can think deep and talk simple.

We know we can invent solutions and face crises (from meal planning to stretching the dollar to averting accidents).

We know we can adjudicate, negotiate, persuade, coach.

We know we can serve joyfully.

We know we can appreciate the present moment and find delight in simple things.

We know we can speak up and stand up for what we believe in.


Tell me, is this not maturity, a growing fullness in our humanity, a carpe diem seizing of our lives to make it count, and a confident way to leave a legacy?

I remember a young mom who was abjectly frustrated for her style in life is to plan to the hilt and enjoy the control she had. Mothering shattered this false illusion for her. Hopefully, more than merely soldiering on and hoping things ease up, she dug in and transformed into a warrior!

Soldiers become warriors when they quit pining for life outside the camp, but dig into life in the camp and take the battle seriously.


The ‘wisdom’ of the world is to lie to you that it is all about loss. Sniff out this false narrative quickly. That’s the world’s favourite presentation: you are going to lose out.

And sure, perhaps you may never get that job (or your figure) back.

But is that truly a loss? Really, is your life the work you do and the shape of your body?


The world isn’t operating on God’s agenda, but is reeling from a determined rebellion against God. How can it offer you and I what is truly life-giving and eternal?



God’s ways are going to be inconvenient and counter-cultural in such a world.

Caring for someone else, being generous, ‘wasting’ time going over the same “why?”, not having full control over life (you cannot even control bodily functions of your baby ok) - is how God designed life so that he can delight us with His care, provision, wisdom and strength.

Mothering and all forms of parenting  is God’s marvelous design to build life into us as we follow our faith.

When I decided to prioritise my family, I wasn’t able to foresee much of anything. But I knew enough to know that it’s an illusion anyway to think we can shape outcomes so easily. But the true north of this priority unfolded in marvelous ways.

Today I continue in my pastoral calling (although it isn’t a very conventional ‘format’), I have embarked on a writing journey and authored six books. I have had to face up to my many skeletons and heal! Along the way, I have found so many wonderful women soul sisters. Now that my children are more grown, and I am warrior-like, I feel so excited about what faith will unleash next!

This is the other way to live: go with the faith.

What do you really believe in?

How A Mother and Daughter-In-Law Can Teach us Hope

Recently I spoke about a mother and a daughter-in-law at a women's conference. More than six hundred women gathered to hear stories, and I was given the privilege to wrap up the conference.

But for me, the conference did not wrap up. This pair of women lingered on in my consciousness. I have thought about the story of this mother and her daughter-in-law for years now...but they surprised me by granting me keener insights.


The story of Naomi and Ruth is told in the Bible is four short chapters. It's not a pretty story when we take time to linger over what happened... .

Naomi had left her ancestral home with her husband and two sons to a foreign land. This may not strike us as tough today due to our movements. Yet if we sit with it for a while, we all know that moving is tough. There is so much to adjust to. Modern city-to-city move may seem relatively bearbable since our cities have many similar features with global culture today, but the realities are lives are abjectly lonely in crowded, busy cities.

Her sons mature and reach marriageable age, and they take on foreign wives. This is particularly significant for ancient Israeli culture as God had wanted them to keep their genealogy pure. But even today with cross-cultural marriages becoming more commonplace, it is easy to see the difficulties that attend it.

The story is told from Naomi's perspective and these bare facts are laid out quickly, and then it quickly goes south!

Naomi's husband and both sons die, too soon, leaving her a widow and childless, with two foreign daughters-in-law. Then famine hits.

In a fix, Naomi decides that her best option is to return to her ancestral land and relatives. But her daughters-in-law could be a real liability. They will be a living testament to Naomi's earlier decision to leave and the tragic outcomes of that choice. So Naomi tries to persuade them to go home. It sounds sensible too, as the women were still young and could potentially remarry and secure a future.

Then the story throws us a real spanner, for one of them, Ruth, not only refuses to leave, she makes this strange exclamation about her conviction that she actually shares Naomi's faith and sees herself as a part of the Jewish people:

 “Don’t force me to leave you; don’t make me go home. Where you go, I go; and where you live, I’ll live. Your people are my people, your God is my god; where you die, I’ll die, and that’s where I’ll be buried, so help me God—not even death itself is going to come between us!” ~ Ruth 1v16f

beringfamily.org

Many have speculated as to how Ruth came to hold such a view. Some suggested that Naomi must have been a shining example of faith.

But the story hints otherwise. The story records this heartbreaking revelation that many of us can identify with. Naomi laments over her life, where she tells those around her to call her 'bitter'. She saw the trajectory of her life as one that is afflicted and filled with misfortune. And don't we like her, sometimes run out of tears and find our lives in the valley too?

The thing is, Naomi actually means 'pleasant'.

This is a powerful literary cue for us.

All of us long for a pleasant, trouble-free life.

But Naomi's rather basic expectation from life was totally upended as her life basically fell apart.


So if it wasn't Naomi's shining example, we are left with a mystery as to RUth's faith and loyalty. The only clue we have is found in her name: friend.

Providentially, through this unsuited union, Naomi has been given a friend. And what do we most need in our darkest times? A reliable friend who would go the distance with us.

There is a palpable sense of hope - at least Naomi is no completely alone and desolate, having to fend for herself. Two women traveling miles to get anywhere would still be a dangerous idea, but it's far superior to a lone, old woman!

The two then reaches home safely and Ruth proceeds, with initiative to seek out a living for them by doing what she could: picking up grain that is being dropped during harvesting. From here on, the story unfolds with flow upon flow of Providence and Grace.

Eventually, Ruth is married to a rich relative who treats her honourably and they have a son who would become the ancestor of Jesus Christ!


1. When God sends a lifeline, take it.
We can say that Naomi is the Christian while Ruth appears not to be. Christians often feel the weight of being the ones to bless others. But there may be seasons when we are in dire need, and God will send us a lifeline that may seem unlikely. I hope we learn to reach for it.

Is there some uplifting resource, encouragement or direction that God is sending you? He can use a bird on a branch, the sunset, a poster, an article, music, solitude, or a human (even a stranger).

Never insist God serves you an answer the way you want it at the time you need it.

Provision and Timing are God's sovereign domain, and it is what builds faith and develops our relationship of trust in God.



2. What God has established, work within it.

In her desperation, Naomi could have begged, manipulated and stayed a victim. But as her circumstances clue her in to God's activity, she chose to trust afresh in God's order. One of which is that in ancient Israel, legal decisions are made by men. But she needed to communicate her need and sense if God has indeed opened a door. So she waited to sense what kind of man Boaz was, and then she tutored her DIL to seize the opportunity to convey the message of their need.

In our individualistic and fast-paced culture, it is hard to wait and see how others may be involved in the larger tapestry of what God is seeking to do. Also, we are often too impatient to understand what is truly going on and rush into our own solutions. Our solutions are often quite limited in wisdom and scope. But God's perspective and help is vastly different.

Are you under authority? Is there a channel for communication? Have you been given a word from Scripture (which God will not contradict!)



3. Witness God move you from your ideals to His destiny

Naomi could never engineer becoming related to Jesus Christ! Her ideal was a life of safety and relative ease. But God's destiny for her was different. Yes, it needed her to go on a path filled with sorrow - and it is not that God sends those sorrows. Life will hand us sorrows. But God kindly provided Ruth to help her transition to a whole different future - which included what she longed for: safety and security!

Naomi moved from pleasant, through the vale of bitterness and emerged hence:

The town women said to Naomi, “Blessed be God! He didn’t leave you without family to carry on your life. May this baby grow up to be famous in Israel! He’ll make you young again! He’ll take care of you in old age. And this daughter-in-law who has brought him into the world and loves you so much, why, she’s worth more to you than seven sons!” ~ Ruth 4v13-15

These thoughts fuel me with an equanimity and confidence, and gives me Hope.

I offer this Hope to you my friend.

A letter from God, first week after Easter

Why my child, do you live as if I did not understand your life?


That you are scrambling, anxious, frantic, sleepless?


Did the sun not rise this morning?

And when you least expected it, a reprieve or a kindness came?

Or did you fail to notice how the birds sing on despite the heat and their infringements of their habitats?

As the world careens towards its implosion, the prime of my creation will suffer the most, while the rest of creation will do the best they can - hunting, mating with flair and flourish, resting and repeating it all over.

Men and women will do far worse. Some of the specimen will no doubt plod on, even doing their utmost to avert catastrophe and inject goodness into the decay. But most will be out for themselves, heaping hurt and scars on souls and all forms of terrain, physical, psychosocial and eternal.

My child, I am not at all blind to how the world is. My son, Jesus the Christ, came to live like one of you. He had a human body that was tired, hungry, stirred and tempted. He had the full range of emotions and he had plenty of expectations from all ranks and file. He lived a real life.

He also died a real death, and an excruciatingly painful one, the details of which I don’t want to repeat.

Why, is the real question.

He lived a real life because life is holy, special and precious. Your life is.

You can see in his life, how it was easy for him to be someone else, to submit to the powerful systems of the day, to play along or to turn into a coward. Those are actual options, for him, as for you.

Some of you feel you have no choice. No, you do. You always do.


You can see in his death - even in all the injustice – how you can die angry, reluctant, frightened, or at peace.

So my son came to show you life, and how to live it.

and he died so you can see how to die, in a world that may demand your life and cause your death.


He came to show you that Life is more than living, that even death cannot take Life away.

So I want you my child to wake up each day, and breathe large lungfuls of Life into your being.

Look at that never-ending do-list, the unresolved conflict, the eye bags and even the lightly lined purse - and say, even so, I shall LIVE.

Then you shall no longer just know that I number your hairs and supplies your needs. You shall experience it!


I have saints whose lives showcase Life -

their diets will appall many of you in the first world.

their solitary lives will shock many of you in the connected world.

their fruitfulness will overturn your ideas of productivity and fulfilment.

Yes, you are quick to protest that you are not one of these saints.

Well, I mean you to be.

Because I am Life and that’s what I want for you.

Most of you won’t need to leave where you live or stop what you do.

Some of you won’t require major changes to your lives.

But many of you must consider if you are truly, really, living - the Life - Jesus modeled, and died so you may have…. a life of freedom -

from lust and shame

from abusing others and being abused

from fear 

 In considering, you will come to see that your ladder is leaning against the wrong wall.

Parents may have to give up their careers to be home with the ripening lives entrusted to them.

Professionals may have to reconfigure their work vision to notice that in the end, their work is about life: staff meetings, colleagues, products, datelines… are about actual, real lives. You may have to change your agendas, tone your expectations, extend your timelines.

Pastors may have to learn to speak up for those whose lives and work conditions reduce their humanity.

I know the future is so uncertain and feels bleak. But I am GOD and I hold the world in my hands. I especially hold my saints.

Again, if you hang on to your life (small ‘l’), my Son told you that you would lose it.

So stop building the life (small ‘l’) you want.

Start praying for a desire for Life, and if you have asked Jesus to be your Saviour and LORD, it is there already, like a seed ripening….

Protect and nourish that seed, and see Life springing up - in spite of the second law of thermodynamics and all of everything going downhill. It’s a paradox, a surprise and a mystery. Life.

You are the best parent(s) for your child(ren): #5 Legacy

Mastery.

Without mastery, we are a short step away from madness.

Exaggerated
Excessive
Impulsive
Divisive
Extreme

We turn any way today and we find these are true. From Instagram to news, from the private to the public sphere. Within borders and beyond.

Debt (from weddings to lifestyle)

Family breakage (from our way to my way)

Brexit (complicated, but the unmeasured words are a huge contributing factor)

Bombings (Sri Lanka, New Zealand…)

Assault (bloody chop-up at hawker centre)

Violation (voyeuristic videoing at a tertiary institution)

We love being masters. We long to be. Masters of wealth, the dream relationship, vacation…of the universe (albeit of the screen variety). But we are not meant to be masters. Masters own their success too keenly and often break apart when that goes away... Although we got the idea when we crown those at the pinnacle of their game, masters. But let that teach us it is all about mastery, a posture and a commitment, not a position.

We are meant to develop mastery.

“Let us make man in our image….and let them rule…” ~ Genesis 1v26

To rule, we have to know the rules.

So God gave us minds to inquire, observe, study, make connections.


To rule, we have to reign.

So God gave us abilities, gifts, opportunities to grow in knowledge, discipline, strength, resolve and resilience.


To rule, we have to relate.

So God situated us in an interdependent ecosystem.



This calls for us to develop mastery -

where we own our agency and submit that to a higher vision of a flourishing world.

We need to master our weaknesses -
so that they we don’t give in to sloth, compromise, convenience (plastic is a case in point), blaming.

We need to master our strengths -
so that we don’t detach from others and the larger vision of life, and start using people and commodifying everything.

We need to master our emotions, thoughts, impulses and choices -
by submitting them to a higher Authority so that they are revealed for what they are, and in trading in truth, we walk free.

And what better to illustrate than this entertaining and o-so-true experiment with marshmallows!

“I run in the path of your commands, for you have set my heart free”

~ Psalm 119v32

This verse has a dialectic to it - where one leads and reinforces the other. Both are bound together: obedience and freedom.

Freedom is not being a master - getting your way. Today, that’s the message sold to us.

Self-care!
Express yourself
Change the laws that limit you
Change anything about yourself

There is no respect for the ecosystem. People can hurt, forests can burn, oceans can be poisoned.

There is no rest as we cast off our boundaries and limits, constantly coveting what others have.

There is no clear result of what we are pursuing as we break the rules and head towards anarchy.



It’s important we return to the mandate given to us in creation, which requires us to develop mastery.

Tragically,

There are grown married men who remain selfish and neglectful of those he’s meant to take care of.

There are mothers who abandon their children for ‘love’ and ‘a better life’. 

There are leaders aplenty who line their pockets and are blind to the suffering of the people who elected them.

And mind you, mastery doesn’t come with big strokes of genius. It is developed through the small stuff.

And here’s where Parenting comes in, and our worst fears too.

Where are the parents who are willing to develop and model and teach mastery because they can

budget, simplify and live by their values - which if you chose to be a parent - means you value life itself (not it’s accessories such as grades, fancy food and costly vacations)

do the hard thing of losing sleep, endless rounds of diaper changing, answering the hundredth “why”, sound like a broken record with “you cannot have that now…”

slow down to help the child grow his bodily, emotional and mental muscles when you know a mess is waiting, a meltdown is coming, a demand and a pout are moments away, all of which we would rather not deal with (have the maid feed and clean, give in, shut them down with your anger).

Heck, I would love to see parents stop using their phones when they are with their little ones! That would be mastery!

Parents, we need to stop worrying about the kids making it the future. They are designed to make it - if they have seen you model mastery and find they can too.


I have a plan (vague I admit) for every stage of my child’s growth. It starts with:

What is a reasonable thing that my child should be able to do at this time?

I believe the first thing was pausing to give thanks before drinking (after the bfeeding routine settled). Then came holding his bottle. Then came listening to instructions, and obeying them promptly (this is still ongoing ya).

Not so much to score your kid, but I found it fascinating as it helps me take note of his growth, give thanks for it and envision what is coming and work with it.

What is more life-giving than to witness growth?

The paradox is parenting is the most tiresome and yet most rewarding thing there is.

The boss may toss your proposal into the bin. Your best output may never be measured or commended even. But children - it’s pretty instant feedback! You get short shifts to stay on your toes, dig into your creative reserves, and draw on every ounce of energy, motivation, prayer and help there is.

Children plug us back in the truths:

Ecosystem

Growth through discipline

Rules exist

--- which lead us down strange paths of freedom.

And remind us that there is a vision called Life, which is Legacy.



Countdown to the 5 things a parent MUST do:

#4 Let Them Grow You

#3 Build Competence

#2 Give Them Safety and Security

#1 Build Emotional Bonds


If you have time, save this link where other aspects of Mastery are talked about: from faith-life to sex.
If your emotions need a bit of help, then save this link: Mastering Emotions ++

You Are the Best Parent(s) for your child(ren): #4 Let them grow you

Recently I came across an article about Toxic Parenting.

'Toxic' seems to be the word of choice these days: toxic BGR, toxic workplace etc.... It's a harsh word, and I want to avoid it -

"containing or being poisonous... capable of causing death or serious debilitation"
 "extremely harsh, malicious, or harmful"

But alas, I have seen that humans are capable of being toxic. We may not murder a child but we can certainly kill their aspirations. We may not set out to be malicious, but being careless with our words and often too tired to really listen, we can do serious hurt to their souls. We may even set up life to veer them towards success or protect them from heartache only to find that we have hurt rather than helped them.


The human soul is fragile, vulnerable and invincible all at once.

We just need to know when it is which - and respond appropriately.

Much has been said about allowing them to develop according to their pace, and meting out expectations and consequences that fit their age and behaviour. But there is a piece that is often overlooked.

In order to grow under our shade, we need to be a growing tree ourselves.

pics from TreeNation

One form of toxicity in parenting that happens commonly, especially in Asian families is the 'father knows best', 'mother has it all under control' mantra. This form of parenting can occur quite subconsciously in a few ways:

- we are too busy to really listen and discuss things over with our children
- we are too impatient with the issues which feel unimportant to us, so we brush them off
- we are nervous that we don't have an answer, so we offer one too soon

A vivid way to see this happening is what I call the distraction tactic that so many use. When a young child fusses, we turn to a distraction - offer them a toy, point to an invisible airplane, promise them some goody later...There is a place for this with a young toddler who may not be able to manage their impulses. But some parents continue to use this even as the child grows! We change the subject, take them shopping, plan a vacation.... all the while, the pain point is not addressed.

Adults always think we are rather done with growing up, and fixate on not growing old. 

In truth, each of us is such a complex being that there are always areas and facets of us that need to mature. We may hold a post-graduate degree but be pretty infantile about some matters. We may run a successful business but struggle with anger outbursts. We may even be a religious leader but go weak in the knees when we have to manage a conflict.

This is where the children come in so wonderfully.

They grow us in generosity when we save the best piece of chicken for them.
They grow us in simplicity as we embrace the humdrum of simple days in their earliest years.
They grow us in patience when we have to repeat the same instruction which seems to slide off their teen teflon brains
They grow us in character when we have to help them navigate choices that are right for them.
They grow us in clarity when we watch as our cherished dreams come crashing as their unique personalities blossom.
They grow us in grit when we have to be the adult and model the behaviour we want to see in them.

They also grow us in courage when we may have to stand up for them and with them.
They also grow us in faith when we recognise that our parenting season has a limit, and we have to wait to see the full flower in years to come.
The list goes on...

How has your child(ren) grown you?

One thing I like to do on their birthdays is to thank them for how they are helping me to grow. The very first time I did it, their eyes were like saucers, surprised as they were that they have agency and can impact another life!

There is in fact a perfect listing of life virtues, traits of Christ that goes like this:

BibleStudyTools

- and you tell me that your children don't present you the opportunity to grow in these!

In fact, which one of these is wanting to develop in you right now?


In order to let your child(ren) grow you, 2 things are needed:

1. accept your child

Not a single one of us is totally satisfied with our child(ren). I regret to inform you that this is a no-return policy! We love to play games guessing who was responsible for what gene component, which seems somewhat harmless when they are two and we want to know where the curly hair came from. But soon enough, we are talking about personality traits, habits and even automatic responses that trouble and upset us.

To just get a glimpse of my journey with these surprises, you can check these out:

When You Don't Feel Very Confident
When Your Kid Marches To A Different Drum And You Feel Beat

Thankfully, we are more than a bundle of nerves predetermined by our genes. There is the power of prayer and nurture to both call forth and even reverse genetic predispositions! In this, our children present us ongoing opportunities to grow as we search our hearts for what to pray and how to nurture.

The God of the generations marvelously sets us up to grow into and with each other. I winced when I see parents wishing their kids were different and inadvertently convey that!

If you find your child difficult, it means you expect something easier. Question that expectation. Then dig into your soul and pray for your heart to shift. The tussle must give way to a dance, for dancing is what brings momentum, joy and movement.


2. acknowledge your fears

FOMO much? Yes! I am afraid we live in an age of anxiety now. If you use distraction (shopping, socialising, travel) to avoid confronting your own fears, you really won't have much to cushion or process the fears of your children. I regret to inform you this factoid: coitus means you are an adult. Our world has made pleasure such an idol and narrowed its vision to a self-seeking version, that all forms of responsibility seem devoid of pleasure, which is a lie.

There is a satisfaction and quiet joy that comes from doing what is right, staying the course, being the adult.

But those fears, they will sneak up on you. Like the good adult you are, turn and say, "I call your bluff".

To be fair, we can have rational, legitimate fears, like Math (haha)! These too we must face and deal with. I am never going to be a Math whiz, but my children have certainly seen me nearly die trying!

What Kind of Tree Are You?  ~FreePik

I grew up in an era when we thought that the best thing we could do for our parents was study hard and get a great job. When I sensed God call me to become a pastor (what my mom considered a poor church mouse), her heart was quite broken, as was mine. The future of security and financial enjoyment I felt was the repayment for her sacrifice and love for me vanished.

But God shifted both our hearts in this matter.

Her mother love overcame her disappointment. My filial love made me determined to set up a savings account for her. In a sovereign tick-tock moment, my mother openly and cheerily said she was ready to go to church and was baptised within a few months. Our bond of human blood was thickened and strengthened by the Saviour's. We were now able to talk about many more matters, and pray together. We were looking in the same direction towards our eternal hope.

My mother did not have a chance to go to school. She grew up with great deprivation, even toxicity by our standards. But in the amazing Providence of God, she had a quality that shone: she allowed us to grow her. Instead of diminishing her authority or influence, we knew she stood her ground where certain values were concerned (I had cane marks to prove it), while at the same time, being willing to interact with our crazy growth journeys by accommodating and adjusting her schedule, priorities and resources around us. She was reliable but not rigid. She was committed but not controlling. She was encouraging but not enmeshed.

She was our oak of righteousness, and we had such a sense of safety and contentment under her large shade.

She showed us that life comes with hard things and we are not to run.
She showed us that a growth mindset primes us to overcome and succeed.
She showed us that one can always keep growing up, even as one grows older.


So yes, 5 things you must do as a parent. It's not the best childcare centre, not the cord blood, not the vacation...it is:

#1 build emotional bonds
#2 provide safety and security
#3 build competence
#4 let them grow you

and watch for the last one: I won't reveal what it is yet...

Celebrating Hope Together (and a podcast!)

Perhaps you share some of my initial reactions to the idea of a rally where Christians gather in the nation's only and massive stadium...for evangelism.

“Can we, really fill the stadium...with friends?”
“Mass things are so passe though”

These thoughts lasted a few minutes. A huge reason is because the person speaking to the few hundred of us pastors gathered for our annual prayer Summit was the Bishop of the Anglican church, a man I have huge regard for. He is known for his shining pastoral heart and prayerfulness. So I know this has nothing to do with grandeur.


Then I honestly struggled with the state of churches and Christianity in Singapore. We are far from a celebratory hope-filled people. I remember how as a young pastor I had to admonish my congregation about our obvious lack of joy, the way we come to church and leave as if by rote with low engagement and impact.

Not being a local church pastor who can rally the people, I also felt hamstrung about how to participate in this (leaders tend to think mobilisation, we can't help it).

My next huge concern was how the next generation, many of whom are now schooled in a postmodern milieu would take to this. They prefer more intimate settings which feel more authentic to them.

This in turn led to the issue of my age. For a few years now I have wondered about my role as an inter-gen person. In my fifties, and not being a senior pastor, I don’t belong to the older ranks of leaders. But I am certainly not a ‘young adult’ any more, no matter how much I feel like being a millennial trapped in a time warp, captured in this post: searching for my generation, in which I share about how the word ‘bridge’ came to mind. Clearly, I can be a bridge between the generations. I have grown up with the days of one guitar and praise songbooks, the overhead projector and cyclostyling stencil machines (you may need to google this), to donning a pager as a pastor (which my kids merrily drowned when they threw me in the pool once), and am now on social media et al.

My concerns began to be addressed!

First, there was an inter-gen session where we listened to four older brothers talk about their experience of the Billy Graham Crusade back in 1978 (I was twelve then!). All of us present witnessed the warmth between the men, two of them biological brothers… how the memories of those heady days of faith and sheer gargantuan hardwork to get a national level rally going in a mere eleven months, shone as they spoke. Most of all, all four of them still blazed with a fiery zeal for the Gospel. To say we were educated, humbled and inspired is an understatement.

(You can read about this gathering here: two generations talk about the BG crusade)


As I prayed and met with more people, I felt a genuine sense of conviciton and excitement growing.

We are not working towards an event. We are letting this vision of a people gathered in celebration catalyse us to ask hard questions, such as what is Hope to you?

As the gravity of our holy calling to seek and to love, to pray and to care dawns, may our spiritual poverty lead us to seek training, to pray, to believe afresh, and o unite deeper.

It is a beautiful journey that is propelling us towards our destiny, if we would see with eyes of humble faith.

A huge piece was this podcast conversation  with Bishop Rennis and Rev Tony Yeo. Their affable and genuine answers help capture a sense of all that God has in store for us through this! Be sure to listen.

Really, what is Hope to you?
Who around you needs Hope, and how can this Celebration be a part of sharing Hope with them?

You are the best parent(s) for your child(ren): #3. Build Competence

Stop and think about the things you are able to do.

Clean up after yourself
Make your way around
Find/make/cook/serve meals
Maintain hygiene
Laundry
Converse with others, even strangers
Find information
Resolve conflicts
Make plans and set goals
Self-reflect
Pray
Write

and on and on... Life requires us to have a wide range of competencies! We cannot always be there for our children, and so they must develop and master these competencies.

It's true that when they are older (assuming the Net remains relatively safe), they can learn most things from Youtube. But, they must find the impetus to learn, and there are only two ways: you desire to learn, or you get desperate. One will probably lack joy and lustre.

When it comes to helping our children to learn and master skills, there is this fine middle - it has to be a little hard or nothing new is accomplished, but it has to be do-able.


I went by the rule when the kids were little, that 'as soon as they can todd, they can tidy". Going further back, as soon as they discover their hands, they can jolly well hold their bottles, lift the spoon to their mouths and even do simple wiping.

Young children find all of this fascinating and fun, mostly. Of course, they can also get tired and frustrated if they aren't the most co-ordinated (and will most certainly give up if they are criticised!)

This is where your power as a parent comes in: you offer them the meaning by the story that you spin.

Your story will either enable them or disable them.

So clumsy

I don't have time for this mess

How old already...

are possible storylines, as are these:

This is hard for you, but we can try it again

You will get better

Your muscles will grow and you will be stronger to do this

It's alright, I can just clean this up

A sense that I am able to learn, grow, and develop competencies must undergird life, or we become inflexible, frightened and mediocre.

Even as adults, we need others to believe in us and cheer us on. We need a mentor, a good book, a promise from Scripture or a good friend to tell us we are on the right track and that we can trek through a new terrain. We need emotional boost and a sense of safety that even in failure, we won't completely crumble. (see earlier posts on #1 Emotional Bonds #2 Safety and Security).

We can think our private thoughts of panic, but as parents, we need to have enough self-control to speak upbuilding and empowering words. We won't do it perfectly, but we can do it adequately that it becomes the dominant message. After all, when they start going to school (part of a society that will measure and often give them feedback without the emotional ballast) the prevailing message will become internalized if they do not have a stronger, more embedded belief that they are able.

I wonder if this may be the reason that kids who do well at school tests and so forth, sometimes crumble when they face the occasional failure.

This leads me to another set of competencies we need to intentionally teach: the ability to be self-aware, to reflect, to choose the stories we tell ourselves, and to embed our lives onto something larger, grander and stronger.

Being self-aware requires us to let kids have space to share their thoughts and feelings with us.
Being reflective means we have to let them meander for a bit and guide them towards helpful conclusions.

When my son was bullied at school, I was naturally very upset and it was easy to stick to a story of victimhood where I basically tell him to be wary, to avoid and to report. Those bits are wise, but they are incomplete. I needed to first hear how he is processing it. This helps him to know himself, the running commentary in self-awareness. I let him share how he feels threatened, unsure, and at the same time hopping mad and wanting to get back (if he was bigger). 

Next I pull back back from his version of the story to consider other points of view: what the other student may be feeling and thinking. How teachers tend to perceive and respond to such incidences. We talked too about how God has called us to be forgiving and loving.

Finally, we talk about options and which he felt he was able to do. Then I told him what I would do for him. 

I wish I could say it did not happen again, but it did. Each time, the experience though broadly similar had unique elements. He had to learn where he was being vulnerable, how he may be attracting unwanted attention, and how to deflect them.

A few months later, at a bedtime conversation, he told me he had a plan! In his words, "I must have a group". I heard it as 'gang' (my Hokkien, poor-town background kicking in) and gasped a bit, but listened on. He realised that being isolated rendered him susceptible, and that the answer was to be proactive about making friends. It is much harder to bully someone who is moving merrily in a group! 

We thanked God for our brains and prayed for the strategy to bear fruit. 

This ability to reflect, think from various angles and come up with solutions is a critical life competency. It's good not to feel nervous about your kids when they are in new situations because you know that they can bear with stuff or make sense of it then or later.

The conversation I had which included the moral dimension was central to this. We live in a moral universe and competencies without a moral compass will not be adequate. In fact, having a sense of what is right and wrong, what is expedient and what is loving, provides the scaffold for sorting through the options. 

Payback is a human instinct. But as the old saying goes, "an eye for an eye, and the world goes blind", we cannot afford to give in to this instinct. The only way is to tutor and tame it with a moral value, a greater truth we believe in.

I want my kids to be able to navigate the world, their world.
I want them to be positive, contributing members of humanity.
I want them to love themselves and appreciate others.

They need life competencies, and it is up to me, the parent, to enable them.


Q: What competencies do you want your children to have? What is your plan to enable them?


More {click on the link to read related posts} ~

At times, we will bump up against the monster called Parental Anger, where we are hopping mad at our kids, but the anger can fizzle out and become the energy to do better.

Or perhaps we are anxious about having our kids ready for a future we cannot envision! Are our kids Future-ready? They can be, if you have these 3 Anchors for their bright future!

The First Christian Podcast in Singapore, possibly

Let me guess. You have experienced this:

You pause and you wonder ... why?
You face a new challenge and you ask... is this really the way?
You are dog-tired and your heart whispers.. what options are there?

Questions. We all have them. As rational beings, we want answers. This is why there will be no end to "the making of books" as the sage reminds us.

There are questions when left un answered, probably won't impact or define our lives significantly:

why did the chicken cross the road
what's the next big ice-cream flavour
who is cranking up the new fried chicken wave
when is the next blockbuster and what will it be about

But there are questions that can suck the life out of us if we don't grapple with them, even if we may not arrive at a completely knowable answer, such as

Did Jesus really rise from the dead?
Does God actually have anything to say about work and how I manage my finances?
What do I do with my motley and at times morose emotions?
Is faith and science in conflict?
What is church, really?

Come March, join me in a fortnightly Podcast where I will talk with different individuals, share stories, discern trends, explore Scriptural notions and more.

Why am I doing this?

1. God made me a talker and thinker

This podcast comes at a time when God has called me, now that my children are more grown, to pastor the city with my gifts. I have noticed that when God calls me, it often comes with a backstory that makes me chuckle at how he has prepared me. Here's the story.

When I was in Primary 1 ( yes 1!), my form teacher told me at the end of the school year that she hoped I would not be in her class the following year. I wasn't traumatised, just bewildered. I skipped off...and two months later, skipped right into her class! She put up with me for another year and triumphantly sealed my fate with these remarks in my report book: ... 'is talkative and busybody'.

As far as I can remember, I was always asking questions. I wondered about the aunties in the neighbourhood, the injections I witnessed my Indian neighbour gave herself, the rows upon rows of books in the library, and twice I was so lost in my thoughts I was hit by the swing! Two gashes to remind me not to stop in the middle of potentially dangerous movement while I got lost in my thoughts.

As a pastor, I was even labeled a firebrand for asking questions at a denominational AGM.

So I guess I am meant to do this.

2. God made us all to think

We all think, and there's plenty of fodder to fill our heads each day and there's a desperate need for correctives. There is so much politicised spiel, profit-driven messaging, destructive input...that we need to hear some good, provocative stuff to get our brains hitched to a more productive gear.

And our thoughts are really the gateway to our lives. We act because we think. We continue to act the same way because we believe (rightly or wrongly). And our thoughts can become trails, and patterns in our heads and our hearts.

So it is critical to look at our thoughts and to have fresh ones.

In one of my first sermons, about the Holy Communion, I adjured the small family congregation at All Saints that the 'unreflected life is not worth living' (that got us off to a great start as a church).

Thinking is part of our design and destiny as imago Dei. We have to think our way through to responsible stewardship of the earth, a productive life, a deepening communion with God.

This we have to do, each of us. My mother who never had any formal education, showed me that being reflective, honest and value-driven, really has little to do with any certification.


3. The nation/church maturing needs to think

We are at a powerful juncture nationally. We need to think about what kind of society we want. We need to think about how our attitudes, commitments and participation is helping or hurting the society we want.

It is a tremendous time for us as we are storyboarding for the coming generations. There have been many voices calling for us to be more thoughtful, gentle, resilient, united...

Equally the church needs to think. We need to decouple from being so dependent on answers (especially from the West) as we grapple with a social changes. We need to figure how intergenerational partnerships. We need to be ready to re-examine and dismantle certain things that just won't' work any longer.

At the same time, some persistent questions which we did not answer too well in the past (like, 'aiya, just believe, ask so much for what' or, 'see what Deuteronomy 29 says') require stronger answers today.

The Cathedral Podcast became a reality after Vicar Terry Wong from the Cathedral spoke to me about it in 2018. Over our meetings, another story returned to my memory. Many of you know that I go to the Cathedral grounds once a month to facilitate personal solitude. I prayed several times for this historic church to impact our city and beyond. Now it seems God is asking me to participate in the answer. So I said, 'yes'.

Join me in the Podcasts and write me with your questions! Let's think it through together - to a more vibrant, earnest and winsome faith!


The Cathedral website